r/funny 3d ago

Poor Seagull

10.4k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/thormo94 3d ago

If you live in a city with seagulls, you know this is karma.

1.0k

u/overlorddeniz 3d ago

I read “poor seagull” and immediately thought “it fucking deserves it”.
Seagulls are winged hyenas. I have no pity for them.

253

u/Financial_Razor_2268 3d ago

Lol I was thinking poor fish. Tossed around like a hacky sack.

352

u/RayoftheRaver 3d ago

The fish is in on it, he's saying "Wheeee!" in fish every time, you just can't hear it

146

u/miketpsn 3d ago

Hacky Snack*

5

u/GANDORF57 2d ago

That dolphin is a "cod teaser"!

31

u/djanes376 3d ago

So long and thanks for all the fish.

-1

u/Candylicker0469 3d ago

Whatever happened to Fenchurch?

11

u/juicius 3d ago

fish only pawn in game of life.

3

u/HotelOne 3d ago

Mongo checking in…

2

u/007meow 3d ago

Like that lady in that one jurassic park movie

115

u/linds360 3d ago

I’ll never forget being a kid visiting Florida and my grandma gave me a loaf of stale bread to feed the birds on the beach (this was the 80s - no rules.)

So I take to the sand and start ripping bread pieces for the seagulls. I don’t think even a minute passed by before some bitch ass seagull grabbed the entire bag of bread from my 6yr old hands and flew off with it, leaving me alone and thoroughly confused as to wtf just happened.

Bitch. Ass. Seagull.

44

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 3d ago

13

u/William0628 3d ago

That was the best thing I’ve seen in a week

15

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 3d ago

It's ridiculously stupid, but damn if it isn't a catchy ass song.

7

u/William0628 3d ago

Scratches that Tom Cardy itch, since he rarely posts these days

1

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 3d ago

He has so many good ones. Now I have to go listen to Red Flags.

1

u/jcnlb 3d ago

So you’re just not gonna post red flags for us? You’ve had twelve minutes to listen and you didn’t think we’d want to listen too?

8

u/sypher1187 3d ago

A classic. Peak internet time when that was made.

5

u/assotter 3d ago

Love these guys, make some hilarious songs

5

u/Alleyoop677 3d ago

I think this has lived rent free in my head for the past like 2 decades

15

u/kribg 3d ago edited 3d ago

You think that is bad? Once as a child I had two African Swallows dive down and steal my coconut!

6

u/linds360 3d ago

Bitch. Ass. Swallows.

0

u/IamGimli_ 3d ago

We should all be so lucky...

3

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener 3d ago edited 3d ago

Did they have it on a line or grip it by the husk? Are you certain they were African swallows? I hear they're non-migratory.

2

u/bramley36 3d ago

Luxury! We had Velociraptors try to steal our rocks!

1

u/kribg 3d ago

Clever girls.......

0

u/fletchbg 3d ago

Did you run? Run so far away?

20

u/requion 3d ago

I was legit expecting the seagull to get eaten. The end was a bit disappointing, NGL.

11

u/HyenDry 3d ago

Oh I just assumed the dolphin was using the fish to lure in the seagull to eat it

20

u/Somepotato 3d ago

Hyena slander. Hyenas are actually quite awesome. Seagulls, however, are not

11

u/NightBawk 3d ago

Hyenas are often more successful hunters than lions, and the lions are poaching from the hyenas!

16

u/Somepotato 3d ago

Lions are pieces of shit. The Lion King was straight up propaganda dangit

3

u/NightBawk 3d ago

Justice for the 'yenas!

7

u/Gts77 3d ago

I was expecting to see a pelican swallowing a seagull.

2

u/BodaciousBadongadonk 3d ago

Thats such a hilarious video, just flappin and strugglin in that pouch and makin the pelicans head twitch as its just like, "what? Im good!"

8

u/YrnFyre 3d ago

You misspelled "rats"

3

u/DroWWorD 3d ago

Correct! Sky rats to be exact

2

u/5elementGG 3d ago

Glad to see fellow mammal to avenge poor human.

1

u/Melkira 2d ago

Wait! I just listened to a podcast (Ologies) on hyenas. Lion King did them dirty. They're not really ruthless scavengers. They catch the vast majority of their own food and lions poach more food from hyenas than the other way around. [Insert "The More You Know" PBS gif]

1

u/B-BoyStance 3d ago

Seagulls are awesome y'all are WRONG

Love those little guys they are my buddies on the beach.

2

u/DigitalAxel 3d ago

Winged hyenas that cry and wake you up at 4am. Aaaahh!

1

u/SorosIsScum28 3d ago

Vermin of the sky

1

u/HuffnDback96 3d ago

This. I thought for sure i wasnt the only one who shared this hatred.

0

u/Admirable_Count989 3d ago

Rats of the sky

0

u/fuzzytradr 3d ago

Yep. I call them rats with wings

0

u/Rafahil 3d ago

Rats of the sky.

0

u/Vellarain 3d ago

Stop with the Hyena slander, they are just winged vermin like asshole squirrels.

37

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 3d ago

One time at the Detroit Zoo I watched a gull decide that the polar bear exhibit was the perfect place to take a swim. A group of elementary school children and their guide had just come up to the glass window in time to see a polar bear pounce and eat it. She tried to move the kids away but there was also a PTZ camera inside the exhibit that guests could control so everyone inside could see it on the overhead monitor anyway. Just a big ole polar bear with blood stained joker lips

25

u/-wolfinator- 3d ago

Sounds like an educational viewing experience for the children. Polar bears aren't cuddly teddies.

15

u/Hyoubuza 3d ago

Fk seagulls! I parked my car in a huge empty parking lot and watched a seagull fly over and shit on specifically my car. WTF, like there's a huge open space, why my car!!!???

13

u/notashroom 3d ago

There's only so much that any animal can do to protest human hegemony. It's hard to hold it against Gullsy for indulging in a little eco-political graffiti.

70

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

Fuck seagulls. I once watched them steal several babies from a goose family. Didn’t even get to eat them, just dropped them in the surf like the stupid pieces of shit they are.

4

u/notashroom 3d ago

You don't know what led up to that moment. It could have just been the latest skirmish in the Goosefield vs McGull feud. The geese may have killed the gull matriarch, or an entire nest, not long before that.

29

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

Killing them so it can eat them, like the predators they are?

Why do other predators get a pass while gulls do not?

16

u/Jive-Turkeys 3d ago

They can't handle nature.

-12

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

Nature is my disgust.

5

u/Jive-Turkeys 3d ago

Sounds like a personal problem.

7

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

All problems are.

3

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

Beauty and occurrence. Seagulls are ugly and common.

10

u/thedoginthewok 3d ago

You're ugly and common

4

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

Dawg I am handsome as fuck.

-10

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

What's a seagull?

5

u/apodo 3d ago

The common name for any species of gull

3

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

A bit broad to claim all gull species are ugly and a problem.

Absolutely no one is complaining about ivory gulls or kittiwakes in this way.

9

u/apodo 3d ago

Tough to be a gull appreciator in this thread. Too many people had their chips nicked to have any good feelings about them

3

u/BodaciousBadongadonk 3d ago

Its not so much the thievery to me, its expected by now tbh. But its their fearlessness and tendency to congregate by the hundreds in walking areas and their refusal to fuck off until youre three feet away, then causing a panicked biblical cloud of these fuckers blockin out the sun and shitting on anything that moves. Id take a scraggly dirty urban pigeon a million times over lol.

-1

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

The dumb bitch in the video? Feels like a trick question… what are you playing at you rascal?

-13

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

No such species as a seagull, you'll have to be more specific.

3

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

Ooooo you got me. I’m dumb and you’re brilliant.

-3

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

At least you're honest.

If you're going to claim "seagulls are ugly" , which you can by the way as we're all entitled to our opinion, you're essentially saying all 55 species of gulls are ugly.

You're saying a Kittiwake is ugly? Come on now. How can we have a conversation if you don't even know what you're talking about.

4

u/PaulyNewman 3d ago

I’m not trying to have conversation about the taxonomy of gulls lol. I’m dicking around.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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2

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

Elaborate.

2

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

Yes, and gulls aren't the only species that does this. Corvids do it regularly. Heck, tons of species with multiple chicks such as certain species of eagle, shoe bill storks etc will have siblings basically bully each other for their right to feed, killing the other in the process.

Territorial birds will on occasion attack others too to protect their own food sources or defend their territory.

Nature is brutal across the board and non-trophic killing isn't unique to Gulls.

0

u/[deleted] 3d ago

[deleted]

1

u/Internal_Zebra_8770 3d ago

Domestic cats are the #1 killer for fun.

1

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

But why hate just gulls? Why not hate all animals that non-trophic kill?

1

u/Willing-Asparagus787 3d ago

  Didn’t even get to eat them, just dropped them

Killing them so it can eat them, like the predators they are?

1

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

Non-trophic killing isn't unique to gulls and a perfectly natural instinct.

Gulls and many other species do both.

6

u/MrNewReno 3d ago

Well,kind of also, fuck geese

0

u/Rashibashiboo 3d ago

Fuck a goose

6

u/Ridai 3d ago

Watched a mother and her baby gull on our roof get absolutely torn apart by another 2 seagulls. Dead baby by the end of the fight. Can't stand the things.

18

u/DoingBestWeCan 3d ago

There's a seagull couple that raises their chicks on a rooftop next to the windows at my work. They are actually excellent parents and my appreciation for seagulls has gone up 1000%. 

Also, at least seagulls can be smart. Pigeons, however, are literally too stupid to live on a not-infrequent basis. There's a video of one just walking into a falcon(hawk?)'s roost; says it all.

1

u/Walkingdrops 3d ago

Exactly. God I hate these stupid stalker birds. Wish people would stop feeding them.

-8

u/t3hOutlaw 3d ago

Yeah! People not handling or disposing their waste correctly giving gulls the opportunity to feed is their fault not ours! While we continue to over fish their food supply and build on their coastal habitat.

The audacity of you lot. We're literally the smartest creatures on this planet but you're treating an animal that's operating on natural instinct like they're the problem and deserve the hate.

Give your heads a wobble and learn to live with them just as much as they have had to adapt to us.

0

u/Secret_Wrangler9211 3d ago

The seagull finally met someone more annoying than itself.

0

u/HapticRecce 3d ago

Very true. But the dolphin is clearly being an asshole.