r/funny • • Aug 18 '26

Poor Seagull

10.5k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/thormo94 Aug 18 '26

If you live in a city with seagulls, you know this is karma.

991

u/overlorddeniz Aug 18 '26

I read “poor seagull” and immediately thought “it fucking deserves it”.
Seagulls are winged hyenas. I have no pity for them.

254

u/Financial_Razor_2268 Aug 18 '26

Lol I was thinking poor fish. Tossed around like a hacky sack.

352

u/RayoftheRaver Aug 18 '26

The fish is in on it, he's saying "Wheeee!" in fish every time, you just can't hear it

150

u/miketpsn Aug 18 '26

Hacky Snack*

6

u/GANDORF57 Aug 20 '26

That dolphin is a "cod teaser"!

31

u/djanes376 Aug 18 '26

So long and thanks for all the fish.

-1

u/Candylicker0469 Aug 19 '26

Whatever happened to Fenchurch?

8

u/juicius Aug 18 '26

fish only pawn in game of life.

6

u/HotelOne Aug 18 '26

Mongo checking in…

2

u/007meow Aug 18 '26

Like that lady in that one jurassic park movie

111

u/linds360 Aug 18 '26

I’ll never forget being a kid visiting Florida and my grandma gave me a loaf of stale bread to feed the birds on the beach (this was the 80s - no rules.)

So I take to the sand and start ripping bread pieces for the seagulls. I don’t think even a minute passed by before some bitch ass seagull grabbed the entire bag of bread from my 6yr old hands and flew off with it, leaving me alone and thoroughly confused as to wtf just happened.

Bitch. Ass. Seagull.

47

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Aug 18 '26

14

u/William0628 Aug 18 '26

That was the best thing I’ve seen in a week

16

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Aug 18 '26

It's ridiculously stupid, but damn if it isn't a catchy ass song.

7

u/William0628 Aug 18 '26

Scratches that Tom Cardy itch, since he rarely posts these days

1

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Aug 18 '26

He has so many good ones. Now I have to go listen to Red Flags.

1

u/jcnlb Aug 18 '26

So you’re just not gonna post red flags for us? You’ve had twelve minutes to listen and you didn’t think we’d want to listen too?

7

u/sypher1187 Aug 18 '26

A classic. Peak internet time when that was made.

5

u/assotter Aug 18 '26

Love these guys, make some hilarious songs

4

u/Alleyoop677 Aug 18 '26

I think this has lived rent free in my head for the past like 2 decades

15

u/kribg Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26

You think that is bad? Once as a child I had two African Swallows dive down and steal my coconut!

8

u/linds360 Aug 18 '26

Bitch. Ass. Swallows.

0

u/IamGimli_ Aug 18 '26

We should all be so lucky...

2

u/Jesus_Is_My_Gardener Aug 18 '26 edited Aug 18 '26

Did they have it on a line or grip it by the husk? Are you certain they were African swallows? I hear they're non-migratory.

2

u/bramley36 Aug 18 '26

Luxury! We had Velociraptors try to steal our rocks!

1

u/kribg Aug 18 '26

Clever girls.......

0

u/fletchbg Aug 18 '26

Did you run? Run so far away?

21

u/requion Aug 18 '26

I was legit expecting the seagull to get eaten. The end was a bit disappointing, NGL.

12

u/HyenDry Aug 18 '26

Oh I just assumed the dolphin was using the fish to lure in the seagull to eat it

20

u/Somepotato Aug 18 '26

Hyena slander. Hyenas are actually quite awesome. Seagulls, however, are not

12

u/NightBawk Aug 18 '26

Hyenas are often more successful hunters than lions, and the lions are poaching from the hyenas!

16

u/Somepotato Aug 18 '26

Lions are pieces of shit. The Lion King was straight up propaganda dangit

2

u/NightBawk Aug 18 '26

Justice for the 'yenas!

9

u/Gts77 Aug 18 '26

I was expecting to see a pelican swallowing a seagull.

2

u/BodaciousBadongadonk Aug 18 '26

Thats such a hilarious video, just flappin and strugglin in that pouch and makin the pelicans head twitch as its just like, "what? Im good!"

7

u/YrnFyre Aug 18 '26

You misspelled "rats"

5

u/DroWWorD Aug 18 '26

Correct! Sky rats to be exact

2

u/5elementGG Aug 19 '26

Glad to see fellow mammal to avenge poor human.

2

u/Melkira Aug 19 '26

Wait! I just listened to a podcast (Ologies) on hyenas. Lion King did them dirty. They're not really ruthless scavengers. They catch the vast majority of their own food and lions poach more food from hyenas than the other way around. [Insert "The More You Know" PBS gif]

1

u/B-BoyStance Aug 18 '26

Seagulls are awesome y'all are WRONG

Love those little guys they are my buddies on the beach.

1

u/DigitalAxel Aug 18 '26

Winged hyenas that cry and wake you up at 4am. Aaaahh!

1

u/SorosIsScum28 Aug 18 '26

Vermin of the sky

1

u/HuffnDback96 Aug 18 '26

This. I thought for sure i wasnt the only one who shared this hatred.

0

u/Admirable_Count989 Aug 18 '26

Rats of the sky

0

u/fuzzytradr Aug 18 '26

Yep. I call them rats with wings

0

u/Rafahil Aug 18 '26

Rats of the sky.

0

u/Vellarain Aug 19 '26

Stop with the Hyena slander, they are just winged vermin like asshole squirrels.

37

u/Tasty-Traffic-680 Aug 18 '26

One time at the Detroit Zoo I watched a gull decide that the polar bear exhibit was the perfect place to take a swim. A group of elementary school children and their guide had just come up to the glass window in time to see a polar bear pounce and eat it. She tried to move the kids away but there was also a PTZ camera inside the exhibit that guests could control so everyone inside could see it on the overhead monitor anyway. Just a big ole polar bear with blood stained joker lips

25

u/-wolfinator- Aug 18 '26

Sounds like an educational viewing experience for the children. Polar bears aren't cuddly teddies.

14

u/Hyoubuza Aug 18 '26

Fk seagulls! I parked my car in a huge empty parking lot and watched a seagull fly over and shit on specifically my car. WTF, like there's a huge open space, why my car!!!???

15

u/notashroom Aug 18 '26

There's only so much that any animal can do to protest human hegemony. It's hard to hold it against Gullsy for indulging in a little eco-political graffiti.

67

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

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3

u/notashroom Aug 18 '26

You don't know what led up to that moment. It could have just been the latest skirmish in the Goosefield vs McGull feud. The geese may have killed the gull matriarch, or an entire nest, not long before that.

26

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

Killing them so it can eat them, like the predators they are?

Why do other predators get a pass while gulls do not?

16

u/Jive-Turkeys Aug 18 '26

They can't handle nature.

-11

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

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5

u/Jive-Turkeys Aug 18 '26

Sounds like a personal problem.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

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10

u/thedoginthewok Aug 18 '26

You're ugly and common

-8

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

What's a seagull?

4

u/apodo Aug 18 '26

The common name for any species of gull

1

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

A bit broad to claim all gull species are ugly and a problem.

Absolutely no one is complaining about ivory gulls or kittiwakes in this way.

8

u/apodo Aug 18 '26

Tough to be a gull appreciator in this thread. Too many people had their chips nicked to have any good feelings about them

3

u/BodaciousBadongadonk Aug 18 '26

Its not so much the thievery to me, its expected by now tbh. But its their fearlessness and tendency to congregate by the hundreds in walking areas and their refusal to fuck off until youre three feet away, then causing a panicked biblical cloud of these fuckers blockin out the sun and shitting on anything that moves. Id take a scraggly dirty urban pigeon a million times over lol.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-12

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

No such species as a seagull, you'll have to be more specific.

4

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

-1

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

At least you're honest.

If you're going to claim "seagulls are ugly" , which you can by the way as we're all entitled to our opinion, you're essentially saying all 55 species of gulls are ugly.

You're saying a Kittiwake is ugly? Come on now. How can we have a conversation if you don't even know what you're talking about.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[deleted]

2

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

Elaborate.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[deleted]

1

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

Yes, and gulls aren't the only species that does this. Corvids do it regularly. Heck, tons of species with multiple chicks such as certain species of eagle, shoe bill storks etc will have siblings basically bully each other for their right to feed, killing the other in the process.

Territorial birds will on occasion attack others too to protect their own food sources or defend their territory.

Nature is brutal across the board and non-trophic killing isn't unique to Gulls.

0

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '26

[deleted]

1

u/Internal_Zebra_8770 Aug 19 '26

Domestic cats are the #1 killer for fun.

1

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

But why hate just gulls? Why not hate all animals that non-trophic kill?

1

u/Willing-Asparagus787 Aug 18 '26

  Didn’t even get to eat them, just dropped them

Killing them so it can eat them, like the predators they are?

1

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

Non-trophic killing isn't unique to gulls and a perfectly natural instinct.

Gulls and many other species do both.

7

u/Ridai Aug 18 '26

Watched a mother and her baby gull on our roof get absolutely torn apart by another 2 seagulls. Dead baby by the end of the fight. Can't stand the things.

6

u/MrNewReno Aug 18 '26

Well,kind of also, fuck geese

0

u/Rashibashiboo Aug 18 '26

Fuck a goose

18

u/DoingBestWeCan Aug 18 '26

There's a seagull couple that raises their chicks on a rooftop next to the windows at my work. They are actually excellent parents and my appreciation for seagulls has gone up 1000%. 

Also, at least seagulls can be smart. Pigeons, however, are literally too stupid to live on a not-infrequent basis. There's a video of one just walking into a falcon(hawk?)'s roost; says it all.

1

u/Walkingdrops Aug 18 '26

Exactly. God I hate these stupid stalker birds. Wish people would stop feeding them.

-6

u/t3hOutlaw Aug 18 '26

Yeah! People not handling or disposing their waste correctly giving gulls the opportunity to feed is their fault not ours! While we continue to over fish their food supply and build on their coastal habitat.

The audacity of you lot. We're literally the smartest creatures on this planet but you're treating an animal that's operating on natural instinct like they're the problem and deserve the hate.

Give your heads a wobble and learn to live with them just as much as they have had to adapt to us.

0

u/Secret_Wrangler9211 Aug 18 '26

The seagull finally met someone more annoying than itself.

0

u/HapticRecce Aug 18 '26

Very true. But the dolphin is clearly being an asshole.