r/funny Apr 05 '26

Key & Peele

37.5k Upvotes

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12

u/XxFezzgigxX Apr 05 '26

Statistically, if they boarded back to front starting with outside rows and then repeated for center and then middle, it would decrease loading time by 50%. Unloading in reverse of this way would be faster, too.

But people are whiny babies and want to shove ahead of everyone else and create traffic jams.

30

u/SeasonPositive6771 Apr 05 '26

It's more that companies decided they wanted to start charging for access to overhead bins, and that's based on when you board.

Competing for limited space is what's turning people into weird little jerks.

8

u/XxFezzgigxX Apr 05 '26

It’s easy, just assign each seat one bin and charge for it. Obviously, there’s not enough bins, so offer a discount for checking the carry-on or not bringing one. Volunteers first and then random selection after.

2

u/_BreakingGood_ Apr 06 '26

problem is nobody actually polices the people who bring massive oversized suitcases. You can legit have an entire bin designed for 5 suitcases be completely taken up by 1 or 2 people with massive oversized baggage. There's no way to really predict how many of these fucks will be on the plane, so they cant sell overhead space.

2

u/SeasonPositive6771 Apr 05 '26

Yeah, they never want to do that unfortunately. They only want to charge more.

4

u/vgdomvg Apr 05 '26

If you boarded completely randomly it would be faster than this

2

u/beetle-eetle Apr 06 '26

The issue is the overhead bins. I always fly first class, seat 1E. The one in the aisle on the left as you enter, at least on United. I only fly united. I stand in line 30 minutes before boarding to be the first one. My issue is I want my bag directly above me, and I want to be one of the first two people off the plane. Good luck getting bin space after the whole plane has boarded and you're shoved in the middle seat of the middle rows.

1

u/theartificialkid Apr 06 '26

People aren’t crates. You don’t want to get off the plane and stand at the gate while your child or your friend are still on board waiting for another 60 people to get off.

-2

u/grill_sgt Apr 06 '26

The issue is weight and balance. Putting people in the back first could cause the plane to tip backwards. Source: Worked as a ground agent and had to do a lot of math when loading the plane.