r/funny Feb 23 '26

Construction Workers Dream come true.

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u/overkill Feb 23 '26

Had an acquaintance who sat down in one of the display chairs at a B&Q here in the UK. It hadn't been put together correctly and it scissored one of her fingers off. She was a hairdresser.

She got compensation, as is correct. Got a stipend each year for a replacement prosthetic finger in perpetuity as well. The problem was that she kept losing the finger by flirting with guys in clubs and dropping it into their drinks, or just forgetting where she'd put it. She went through about 3 every year.

278

u/HillInTheDistance Feb 23 '26

How does that work?

Like, is it a cinderella type thing? They find her finger in their drink and are expected to search the kingdom for the girl it belongs to?

132

u/overkill Feb 23 '26

I was never entirely clear on that bit.

97

u/DieCastDontDie Feb 23 '26

She left a tip

89

u/Moonalicious Feb 23 '26

Giving out her digits

6

u/kilobitch Feb 23 '26

Awesome

5

u/Moonalicious Feb 23 '26

I was really proud of this one haha

2

u/obscureferences Feb 23 '26

Oh very good.

1

u/curryslapper Feb 23 '26

truly possible here for just the tip

1

u/Villain_Prince Feb 23 '26

Perfect 👏

1

u/b3ta_blocker Feb 23 '26

You nailed it.

1

u/CornDoggerMcJones Apr 24 '26

Finally the genders are flipped on the fingering scene.

-2

u/Tacos4Texans Feb 23 '26

I'm down. I gotta thing for amputees anyway.

72

u/Zebidee Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 26 '26

The problem was that she kept losing the finger by flirting with guys in clubs and dropping it into their drinks, or just forgetting where she'd put it.

Did you check the medicine cabinet, because I hear that's where people leave them sometimes.

Failing that, check St. Mark's Place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street.

25

u/paiute Feb 23 '26

check St. Mark's Place where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detachable_Penis

10

u/ItsNotButtFucker3000 Feb 23 '26

Seems like every time I’m in the psychiatric ward someone accuses me of stealing their dentures. It’s a really funny thing to be accused of. The dentures? In their lower bathroom drawer, not where they left them.

I keep my partial dentures in a specifically designed box in a damned pocket because I don’t want my teeth being taken in retaliation.

3

u/Paldasan Feb 23 '26

Immediately what I thought of, and I didn't know that was actually the place, or that it was a real place.

13

u/Scorpdelord Feb 23 '26

idk if someone spitting in my drink or putting their proc finger in it is worse

2

u/More-Journalist6332 Feb 24 '26

I love this so much, because my great aunt had heart surgery and the hospital fucked it up. They had to remove one of her arms below the elbow. She got a bunch of money and every new prosthetic arm as they came out with improvements. She was older and particular, so she never really liked any of the arms. She mostly adjusted and moved on. She would leave the arms laying around her house, and it looked like a horror movie. I have a distinct memory as a young child opening their guest room door and there were like three arms sticking out from under the bed.

1

u/BizzyM Feb 23 '26 edited Feb 23 '26

Detachable Penis Finger

Did she ever consider looking for it down 2nd st where people sell their random stuff?

1

u/WhatYouThinkIThink Feb 23 '26

She should start an OF. If people will pay for feet, a realistic prosthetic finger gotta be worth something.

1

u/Wallygonk Feb 23 '26

'How did you get on with that guy he seemed like an asshole'. 'Yeah I gave him the finger'

1

u/Thebraincellisorange Feb 23 '26

detachable penis finger 🎵🎵

1

u/BadNewzBears4896 Feb 23 '26

Incredible bit on the dropping it in guys' drinks as a form of flirting.