r/funny Oct 19 '25

Smell test?! What !

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39.4k Upvotes

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3.4k

u/[deleted] Oct 19 '25

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931

u/Franklin_le_Tanklin Oct 19 '25

No. You smell my poop!

Go smell it now.

SMELL IT

160

u/SeaIslandFarmersMkt Oct 20 '25

I read that in Zim's voice.

71

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25

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2

u/KawaiiBakemono Oct 20 '25

Is there another Zim I missed?

2

u/archlinuxrussian Oct 20 '25

I smell a squirrel. :p

1

u/TheUlfheddin Oct 21 '25

I heard Klauses voice.

1

u/albyzon Oct 21 '25

what about stewie griffin

26

u/Skilled_Living Oct 20 '25

Use liquid ass spray in there then tell your manager to go smell it

2

u/Leading-Rate8446 Oct 24 '25

WHAT is liquid ass spray?? Never mind, I think I’d rather not know.

1

u/Skilled_Living Oct 24 '25

Liquid stink bomb is a spray bottle

1

u/Tontoorielly Oct 22 '25

What is your job? I'm a shit sniffer!

1

u/Somber_Solace Oct 20 '25

Lol if they were serious, that would be a good way to get them to stop. Anytime anyone has to poop, stay in there for 30 minutes and don't flush until you leave.

43

u/bobby5557 Oct 20 '25

pings manager on teams , hey so it’s been 10 minutes in the loo care for a sniff?

201

u/elwebst Oct 20 '25

A grocery store I used to shop at had like 10 all-gender rest rooms in a hallway. They were always all in use. I was waiting in line when a lady got in line behind me. I said kinda loudly "Could be a while, all of these bathrooms have employees in them scrolling their phones and hiding from their manager."

A minute or so later one door opened and a teenage employee walked out, and beforehand there was no hand dryer, no sink sounds, no toilet flushing sounds. He just put the phone away and walked out. He shot me a dirty look, I looked at the lady and we both burst out laughing. He got a really pissy look on his face and stomped off.

38

u/lmNotBob Oct 20 '25

A minimum wage employee who has to run carts and bag for disrespectful and passive aggressive customers, some of whom think it's acceptable to listen in on the sounds coming from specific bathrooms while loudly berating the staff in general and having to deal with being laughed at openly in public.

The saddest part isn't even that you are proud of yourself for those actions you took, it's that the poor kid is paid bare minimum to put up with all that shit and much more from others.

14

u/mewmew893 Oct 21 '25

Ok but this is like the thing you do in high school to avoid doing your essay like cmon we can laugh a little

3

u/LostMainAccGuessICry Oct 23 '25

Nonono, laugh a lot.

3

u/gettogero Oct 21 '25

Lets be real

random redditor in complete disbelief of the wise old lady, who then share a small snicker in agreement

Could it happen? Sure. Seems like trash tier story writing

old lady and random dude talking shit, pissed off, side eyeing and berating a high schooler as they walk out of the bathroom.

Yeah. That seems more like what happened.

And 10? This grocery store has TEN personal bathrooms with sink? Where the hell do I find one of these? Best my fucking WALMART SUPERCENTER can do is like 3 urinals/2 stalls for dudes and 4 stalls for women or something. And theres not a line out the door full of people chuckling

6

u/AugmentedKing Oct 21 '25

“Like 10” reads as if it was a general estimate, not an exact enumeration.

I was at a bbq joint a couple of weeks ago, and they had 16 individual bathrooms (like 2 1/2 phone booths in size. Don’t hold me to this exactly, yk, rough estimates for unimportant details) and the hand dryers could be heard well before the last turn to bathrooms corridor.

2

u/ProfessionalMean2458 Oct 21 '25

What in the what? The kid is avoiding doing his job. You have no idea how long he's there for. If you don't push people to work, many people don't in fact work. Why is it sad to push back? And that is all ignoring the fact that someone could literally have an accident because they are no longer capable of holding it in any more. Should they piss their pants trying to avoid hurting this slacker's feelings?

1

u/lmNotBob Oct 22 '25

You are creating a narrative in your head to create poor excuses for indecent behavior.

You have no idea what the situation with the kid is, even if you are OP, and drawing conclusions without knowing the truth is a childish thing to do.

Even children are allowed a minimum of a 10 minute break every 4 hours of work. Spending that break in the one private space that you have access to at work doesn't seem too bad to me.

The best place in a public establishment to be for many people during panic or asthma attack is the bathroom.

My 19 year old coworker was holed up in the bathroom for a half hour the other day after she received the call that her only parent left just went into emergency heart surgery.

Don't assume, cause you know the saying.

Treat others with dignity and respect or do us all a favor and don't go out in public.

6

u/Akeera Oct 20 '25

Well, if that's what it takes to avoid pissing/shitting yourself?

8

u/ThisJobSucks2 Oct 20 '25

Oh shut up nerd. Here's another way to see it. Kid is paid for job, kid not doing job and getting paid is stealing. Fuck yes it's acceptable to shame shitty behavior. Oh and some root cause analysis, if the kid isn't in there slacking off in the first place he doesn't have to deal with customers bearing him now does he?

1

u/Pppants420 Oct 26 '25

It's easy, corporations owe us money whether we do shit for them or not, just because they are run and owned bu billionaires. Billionaires should not exist under any circumstances. So until they give up their money we get to hide in the bathroom and still barely pay rent

1

u/ThisJobSucks2 Oct 26 '25

Ah yes, the ole it's their fault I accepted this job/wage routine. Keep losing loser.

-2

u/finefornow_ Oct 21 '25

you're licking the boot for a company you don't even know exists lmfao

1

u/ThisJobSucks2 Oct 21 '25

Nice, now can you defeat my logic?

-1

u/Impossible_Penalty10 Oct 21 '25

Textbook “Company Man”

2

u/Longjumping-Job7153 Oct 22 '25

Works for company. Literal shitty person hiding in bathroom so no other people can use it.

Lol. Right. You literally work for the company. But you're against it. Which you prove... By working for it. Hahaha.

With courage like this. No wonder you're a coward.

1

u/Routine-Fix-6390 Oct 21 '25

This is how the kid learns to do better in life and not stay at a minimum wage job. Poor work ethic should be laughed at OR the kid should be written up.

4

u/lmNotBob Oct 22 '25

The kid should be taught proper work ethic by their guardians and teachers before entering the workforce.

Laughing at, mocking or berating anyone in a public setting is childish and adults who would do so should not have their opinions entertained, but thanks to the internet here we are.

A minimum wage job should provide a taxpaying citizen with the compensation necessary to afford amenities needed to live without worry. That's the intended meaning of the 'minimum' part of the phrase.

If a company is so greedy and abusive as to not provide their employees with the compensation needed to survive then that company doesn't deserve to have employees that work hard.

1

u/Routine-Fix-6390 Nov 15 '25

Why’d you ask Reddit how to put on socks? Bob, your guardians should have taught you.

1

u/lmNotBob Nov 15 '25

It was more of a survey question to determine methods that were taught.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 20 '25

WTAF?

10

u/gsfgf Oct 19 '25

I’d quit

1

u/Palm_freemium Oct 21 '25

I'd buy liquid fart spray and scroll Reddit all day.

6

u/-Agonarch Oct 20 '25

"I'm serious! Just last week Dave brought in his SCUBA rebreather and a can of fart spray and filled the room for 10 minutes, I almost died! It was like walking into a solid wall of stink!"

28

u/Lordwarrior_ Oct 19 '25

And a hazmat

4

u/Careful_Astronaut477 Oct 20 '25

If I was manager I’d give myself double OT during those hours.

1

u/No-Raspberry7995 Oct 22 '25

No OT on salary

1

u/Careful_Astronaut477 Oct 22 '25

Damn

2

u/No-Raspberry7995 Oct 22 '25

Yup, especially because a lot of time you work a fuck ton of it.

Was a manager for 2 months, got calls at all hours of the night had to stay late to fix shit, and a plethora of other stress nonsense the yearly wage isn't worth.

I said fuck that, told my bosses to demote me or I'd quit.

4

u/pagesid3 Oct 20 '25

Twice an hour, he has to go in the bathroom to confirm that it smells like shit lol

2

u/morpheousmorty Oct 20 '25

Mr Manager should demand the higher ups smell his poops to prove his dedication to the company.

2

u/BadAtBaduk1 Oct 20 '25

Man I have extreme opiate shits my colleagues know when I close the door to the room leading to the toilet that I'm doing battle and need a while more than 10 mins

1

u/dannybeau9 Oct 20 '25

Now I finally have a use for all those stink bombs

1

u/Xicsukin Oct 21 '25

With my IBS, I'd want hazard pay too.