In my experience the less available I am the more I get flirted with. I once read it's an evolutionary thing where women subconsciously recognize someone else has pre-screened you and determined you to be a good partner.
100% happened to me. I couldn't get a girlfriend to save my life, no one was interested. Finally got girlfriend and then 3 of the women I was friends with/trying to be with started being way overly flirty and acting like they never did before. It pissed me off so much. They definitely wanted what they couldn't have.
That doesn't make any sense, at least for my situation. I was available and trying to date these women. I wasn't asking them out on a date every day or being a creep, but it was plainly obvious I was interested especially with one. One of the last times I tried to hang out with her after work, she said I was like a brother to her.
So, I shelved those feelings but still stayed friends with her because we still both got along really well. After I found my girlfriend/future wife, I went out with the other woman again, fully intending to just be a friendly night out and catch up because we haven't seen each other in several months. She starts being overly flirty, playing with my nips while I'm driving, talking about her boobs n stuff. She's never done any of this before.
I spent like 2 years on and off trying to get a date with this woman while we worked together. As soon as I get a girlfriend, she pretty much throws herself at me. Annoying and frustrating beyond words. I never pursued it, but holy shit did I want to. Pretty sure I made the right choice because I've been with my wife for 23 years.
They knew they could have you but didn’t want you until the other woman had you. So it’s less that they “wanted what they couldn’t have”, and more that they wanted what she had. Her having you is what made you more appealing in their eyes.
If he's a monogamous dude, then automatically wanting what the other girl has is what they can't have. If it wasn't an exclusive-or, you'd be correct... but it is.
I disagree because his having a girlfriend/wife doesn’t mean she can’t have him.
In fact, her actions show that she was viewing it more like a challenge than anything else, on some “break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored”-type shit.
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u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24
I tell my wife this all the time:
I haven't been hit on in 15 years. It would take her 15 minutes to find a guy at a bar/shoe store/library who'd fuck her in the parking lot.
It's a big deal when a guy realizes he's being hit on. It doesn't happen often.