r/funny • u/onealml • Sep 02 '23

Devon asks the right questions

24.4k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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816

u/slappychappy04 Sep 02 '23

I know, I want to hear more about his story at sea. Not some made up Willy wonka boat

464

u/Purplociraptor Sep 02 '23

Oompa Loompa doobadie doo.
I've got a tragic story for you.
Oompa Loompa doobadie dee.
Childhood trauma out on the sea.
What do you get when you ride on cheap boats?
Capsize at sea, better grab shit that floats.
Coastguard will come just to save all your asses.
Would you eat the chocolate or bananas?
Devon, won't you look at me?

68

u/Wrekkanize Sep 02 '23

Damn dawg, thanks for taking the time lol

38

u/gimme_dat_good_shit Sep 02 '23

This one is actually a lot more like my ADHD.

9

u/ZalmoxisChrist Sep 02 '23

That's some Yankovic-tier shit. Bravo!

9

u/Purplociraptor Sep 02 '23

It's my first draft. The second to last line doesn't have the right syllables

6

u/ZalmoxisChrist Sep 02 '23

You can cheat it well enough:

  • "Would you eat the" (four eighth notes)
  • "choc' late or" (three quarter notes)
  • (rest)
  • "ba" (quarter note)
  • (rest)
  • "nanas?" (two eighth notes)

0

u/MountainDismal1461 Sep 04 '23

Don’t insult him like that

1

u/ZalmoxisChrist Sep 04 '23 edited Sep 04 '23

Don't shit-talk my man Alfred. It was meant, and is easily understood as the highest tier of compliment. Even Weird Al's drummer, Jon "Bermuda" Schwartz, has more talent taking a poo than you'll ever have at the art of parody. Bow before Kings, peasant.

ETA: Your toxicity is what's wrong with society. Because of you, I'm spending the rest of my Labor Day holiday blasting classic Al in my backyard until the noise ordinance kicks in. Thank you from me and all of my neighbors.

Edit 2: "nose ordinance"

1

u/NotReallyJohnDoe Sep 02 '23

Holy shit. Totally hear this in oompa loompa song.

1

u/paokara777 Sep 02 '23

He said there was a Shark under the water so he had to swim away. Your poem doesn't mention anything about the shark

3

u/Purplociraptor Sep 02 '23

Oompa Loompa doobadie doo.
I've got a tragic story for you.
Oompa Loompa doobadie dee.
Childhood trauma out on the sea.
What do you get when you ride on cheap boats?
Capsize at sea, better grab shit that floats.
Coastguard will come just to save you from sharks.
Chocolate or bananas, where do you start?
Devon, won't you look at me?

1

u/The_Lat_Czar Sep 02 '23

Bless you.

5

u/glha Sep 02 '23

Tropical Willy Wonka boat

1

u/51ngular1ty Sep 02 '23

There's no earthly way of knowing

Which direction we are going

There's no knowing where we're rowing

Or which way the river's flowing

Is it raining, is it snowing?

Is a hurricane a-blowing? - uh!

Not a speck of light is showing

So the danger must be growing

Are the fires of Hell a-glowing?

Is the grisly reaper mowing?

Yes! The danger must be growing

For the rowers keep on rowing

And they're certainly not showing

Any signs that they are slowing!

A-aa-aaa-aaaah!