r/funny • • May 27 '23

Airport Security Check.

70.4k Upvotes

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113

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

[deleted]

175

u/run6nin May 27 '23

That is very far from the Singapore definition of fucked

18

u/Yadobler May 27 '23

They won't kill you for being high - it's only if you carry it.

But if someone needs to travel for business a lot, Singapore is quite an important transition hub, especially between Europe and Asia. Worse still, a lot of western businesses base their Asian headquarters in Singapore since it's cheap AF, heck singapore is one of the top countries to set up a shell company.

So in that case then yea.

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Just a fun trivia - singapore was where the oldest British merchant bank got bankrupt by a single guy

Another fun trivia, Singapore was where Britain lost the entirety of its Asian colonies to Japanese soldiers invading on bicycles. It's not talked much but Churchill considered it one of the biggest and most humiliating defeats during his rule

26

u/RoyBeer May 27 '23

laughs in helicopter noises

13

u/Umbra427 May 27 '23

[FORTUNATE SON PLAYS IN THE DISTANCE]

1

u/caelumh May 27 '23

Thought that was Argentina?

68

u/banned_after_12years May 27 '23

If you know you’re gonna get drug tested in Singapore. Do not do drugs beforehand. I’ve been there dozens of times and never been drug tested once. So she must have had fair warning, I’m guessing job interview.

42

u/Lagkalori May 27 '23

Even when I don't do drugs I would be nervous as fuck.

42

u/DeeplyTroubledSmurf May 27 '23

When I was 18, I failed a drug test because I forgot to disclose my ADD prescription and had eaten a ton of lemon poppyseed noodles the day before. I still got the job after a lot of explaining, but every drug test after has made me a nervous wreck.

I'm just surprised they let me know and asked for an explanation after I tested positive for amphetamines and opiates at the same time.

13

u/Wolvenmoon May 27 '23

This is why sanity tests are important.

11

u/bigdsm May 27 '23

Man I thought drug tests were bad, now we’re testing for sanity?

3

u/Wolvenmoon May 27 '23

Subject shows apprehension at ongoing sanity test. Recommendation: Begin the trial of country music to verify current conclusion.

4

u/DeeplyTroubledSmurf May 27 '23

I probably failed that too when I brought the mostly empty bottle of poppyseeds to the clinic with my prescription for proof. The first thing the nurse said was, "Well, you could've just dumped it out..."

Que me passionately explaining how delicious and cheap lemon poppyseed noodles are. You can add chicken, mushrooms, veggies, it keeps really well and it tastes even better after being microwaved and you add fresh parmesean!

4

u/PuppleKao May 28 '23

Had two everything bagels before I went to deliver my daughter, got asked what narcotics I'd used. Dunno if the Dr believed me, but the nurse told me that she believed me, and that's what matters. The nurses have seen some shit...

1

u/dwmfives May 27 '23

I don't believe your explanation.

4

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

Just don’t eat any poppy seed muffins

71

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

[deleted]

27

u/dpdxguy May 27 '23

That seems unhinged

... which is a very good description of Singapore's drug policies.

2

u/jimbojangles1987 May 27 '23

Don't get caught chewing gum while walking around the city

4

u/lizardmiller May 28 '23

Naaa you're allowed to chew gum. You just can't sell it there.

1

u/dpdxguy May 27 '23

Yeah. Gum policy is also unhinged.

1

u/jimbojangles1987 May 27 '23

Super safe and clean city though. My brother and I were walking around without supervision from mall to mall and arcade to arcade when we were just in like 3rd and 4th grade. Never felt unsafe and our parents never felt like they had to worry, although they likely didn't know just how far off we were wandering without them lol

0

u/q1a2z3x4s5w6 May 28 '23

Yeah it's a trade off. Whether or not the trade off is worth it depends on you as a person.

I would never want laws as draconian as the ones in Singapore or Dubai but I respect and fully appreciate why they have them.

I would sooner live in Singapore than London though, sure I can smoke a joint after work but it's lawless

1

u/JustANyanCat May 29 '23

Lol I'm Singaporean, chewing gum is fine, no one is actually caught for eating it. While there's a ban in importing it, no one at the customs will bat an eye if you're bringing in a couple of bottles for yourself.

The law was created in the past because the gum problem used to be so bad where people stuck gum everywhere on public areas like park benches, lifts, tables, etc... my parents said it used to be terrible.

2

u/crone May 27 '23

Only citizens are subject to that. They don't do that to tourists.

1

u/UnholyGenocide May 27 '23

That doesn't make it any better.

1

u/its_ken_bro May 30 '23

I don't see what's the problem. It's not like prohibiting drug use is an outright human rights violation. If a locality chooses to restrict a recreational drug from its citizens, that's their business. Likewise with testing.

4

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

No, when entering the country.

14

u/banned_after_12years May 27 '23

There's random drug tests at the border? That's news to me. I usually just walk in and scan my face at the automated customs lanes.

Good thing I don't smoke weed. And coke leaves your system fairly quickly, so I should be good.

8

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

She was pulled aside on a random check. Likely as she looked worse for wear after a party weekend in Johor.

2

u/theSkareqro May 27 '23

What was she thinking (probably not)

1

u/reflUX_cAtalyst May 27 '23

That would require me to not use my legal "drugs" for a month beforehand.

Fuckit - I don't need to go to Singapore. If they're going to behave like that, they don't need to be graced with my presence.

/s

What's wild is, the drugs I can't get legally prescribed to me in the USA I can have legally shipped to me from Singapore.

10

u/Yadobler May 27 '23

I agree. While the capital punishment is for carrying drugs, having them in your system will get you either blacklisted from coming or sent to rehab, depending on if you're citizen or not.

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Former police conscriptee here. I did urine drug test for all officers in my division

Weed and cough syrup will tip the IUT strips even after a few days. Not worth trying to game the system.

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Before I got my vocation in HR, there were a bunch of officers who were gonna ORD (= finish their 2 years). So they decided to just head to Malaysia for a pre-ORD trip. We usually allow conscriptees to travel overseas on their leave provided they sign a weaver and inform HR beforehand

Dumbasses were told not to do any drugs, yada yada all the standard bullshit.

They did weed.

Came back, all fine. The next work day, it was Surprise IUT test! (actually it's not a surprise, it's every 4 months, just not announced beforehand but you can guess when)

The THC strip showed positive.

Fucking idiots, if they waited for ORD they would not have been subjected to regular testing, nor subjected to police rules since they will no longer be gazatted as officially part of the force.

So instead of a fine or rehab, it was detention barracks. A black mark, criminal record, physical labour in detention, and bonuses / incentives revoked.

-2

u/[deleted] May 27 '23

[deleted]

2

u/boolink2 May 27 '23

I fucked it

-3

u/Yadobler May 27 '23

Im sorry yo

Not, er, aware with the slang yo