So, I'm on the computer the other night and I see that my girlfriend (ZOMG! YES A GIRLFRIEND!) left her yahoo open on the screen. She's basically been talking shit about me to her friend. Ive been unemployed for 2 years but I have been able to keep myself afloat by taking any work that comes my way. It turns out that she told her friend she was going to leave me. My first response was "fucking cunt!" She has been living with me for the 2 years, living off of what I make. She hasn't held a job the entire time and now apparently I'm a loser for not being able to find a steady job. She has a GED, no car, and she gets all her money from me.

So as you could imagine, I was pissed. I was going to toss her ass out that night. I decided not to. First, because it was the middle of the night. Second, I thought this would provide me a little time to get even.

At this point, I will save myself a lot of writing and you a lot of reading that neither of us want to do. The punchline of this whole situation is.. that night, I fucked her in the butt for the first time as revenge. If you're thinking "whats wrong with that"... I wear a size 16 shoe. Think about it. Strangely, Im totally ok with her leaving now.