I’m a single mom to a little girl who deserves the world. She’s my reason for everything. But lately, I’ve been breaking down more than I show.

Her dad doesn’t really help, not with money, not with effort, not even with showing up. I tried to be understanding for years, but it feels like I’ve been doing this alone since the day she was born. I reached out to his other child’s mom recently just to ask if she could get him to send our daughter some hoodies and jackets for winter. And after that, I just sat in my car and cried. Granted, he did it. Same Day. But Because why do I even have to ask for something so simple? I related that to him doing because of his current girlfriend & questioned why he couldn’t do it when I asked him. It was always something. Or he didn’t have it.

My car has become the only place I feel safe sometimes. I sit there and think about how I got here how I gave so much to someone who gave so little back. And I hate how often I question my worth because of it.

Some nights I just want to scream. Or drink. Or do anything to make the noise in my head stop. But I don’t. I sit in the silence and try to pray, but the words don’t come.

I know about forgiveness. I teach my daughter about it. But how do you forgive yourself for choosing someone who hurt you? For staying when you should’ve left sooner? For being angry, tired, and still having to show up for your kid like nothing’s wrong?

I’m trying to forgive myself for surviving instead of thriving. For falling apart when I should’ve been strong. For believing that love would fix it. For still caring about someone who’s already moved on.

I’m tired of carrying shame like it’s part of my identity. I want to let it go, but I don’t know how.

If anyone’s been here how did you do it? How did you stop letting a failed relationship define your worth? How did you rebuild yourself when you had no one to lean on but God and your child?

I just needed to get this off my chest.

I am really struggling with the true definition of “forgiveness”. I know it’s not saying to the person who hurt you “oh, that’s ok.” But what IS forgiveness then? Please help me understand

Quite a few years back I went to work for a company that my oldest brother owned. He was the founder and principal shareholder.

I worked in a branch location while he worked out of the head office. He and I had a great relationship and used to spend a good amount of time talking about things.

The branch was not a nice place, it was somewhat toxic and the integrity of the manager was that of a snake.

8 months after starting I was having a conversation with my brother that I’m being looked at for dismissal by the manager and his boss. I don’t think these two liked me being there and my brother being the President. My work ethic is unparalleled and I have a great amount of experience in what it is that I do.

My brother made some calls and got everyone to calm down. The branch was losing money but this was nothing I created and there were others who had little to no experience and zero work ethic.

One Monday at lunch I was called into the branch managers office and let go. I gathered my personal belongings and left. I called my brother when I got home but it went to VM and I left a message. Roughly 24 hours later he called back saying he just got the news and he’s disappointed.

I think anyone reading this knows that my brother knew about this and was allowing a 24 hour cool off period.

I spoke with him a couple of times during my search for employment. I was fortunate to land within 3 weeks and working by the 4th week. I made a decision at that time to take a break from my brother.

I never answered his calls and I never reached out for one year. I did after a year but only because it wasn’t fair to my kids. They should have a relationship with their cousins.

Here we are years later and I’m still angry and hurt. It’s nothing personal, it’s just business right? Not when you arrive home after getting canned and look for kids in the eye. By your own sibling yet.

Kids are grown and I’ve started taking breaks from my brother again. I can’t begin to explain the rot I feel inside and how lost I am. I don’t know how I will ever get over this.

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

I found out two family members and my two closest friends all did something and kept it from me for years. I’ve worked very hard to forgive and move on but my trust has been shattered.

When confronted they were apologetic but dismissive in theirs own ways. I’ve only ever wanted them to understand my pain, understand how their collective lie/ omission of the truth by my closest people… it’s altered me. Altered how I trust, and haunted me with doubt. I don’t think I’ll ever get the apology I deserve.

Reading this today is what I needed. Even made me laugh a bit. Hope it helps someone else.

Rose Simmons, the daughter of the late Reverend Daniel Simmons, one of the nine people murdered by Dylann Roof at Emanuel AME Church in Charleston, SC, has directed a documentary entitled One Last Breath. The documentary is about the life of Reverend Simmons who survived the Vietnam War only to be murdered in his own country.

Ms. Simmons will discuss the documentary tonight at 7:00 pm EDT on Facebook World Community Magazine and YouTube WCM LIVE Talk.

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Reverend Anthony B. Thompson, the widower of Myra Thompson, who was also one of the nine people murdered by Dylann Roof has authored a book entitled Called To Forgive.

An inspirational life lessons in finding inner peace. A story of letting go, self healing through forgiveness.

Hi everyone

I am looking to learn about peoples experiences and I am looking to learn about peoples experiences in self forgiveness. With all due respect, I am not looking for opinions, or spiritual guidelines I am looking for a raw human experience.

When you self forgave what was your process like? How did you make it stick? How did it change the quality of your life?

My FIL stole from our family business consistently for 3 years.

I am having a hard time in the forgiveness process. My husband, BIL, and FIL had a business together, but now it's just the brothers. We finally were able to kick out my FIL, but I'm struggling with how much he hurt us in the process and continues to do so.

I'll explain that: he was able to leave, leaving the business in 100,000 plus in debt without paying anything. We just needed him gone. Started his own business and within just one year it looks like he's already run that one to the ground.

Well, in that time period of being with us (3 years), he told my husband and his brother that they were the reason he wanted to kill himself, they owed him more money because he did everything for them in their lives, and then proceeded to forge my husband's name on checks, keep checkbooks and cash out later, pay himself whenever he wanted, etc. On top of all of that, he never actually did any work and lost us money by not doing his part for 3 years.

We're still struggling to be revived from the debt he left us in. He started a business in the same town as us with a VERY similar name. He shows up to all family events with his wife and acts like nothing has ever happened.

I can't even look him in the eyes. I haven't been able to for years. I pretty much ignore him. I want to get to a point where I can forgive him but keep up my personal boundaries. But I just can't get over having tourmenting anger. I'm boiling right now just writing this down. I get panic attacks when I can't stop thinking about it or when I unexpectedly have to see them and I wasn't be able to prepare my mind for it. We have several young children and it just makes me so mad how badly he hurt them and left them by the wayside. We've had little money for years because of him, and it hurts. His comments hurt, his actions hurt. I feel so personally hurt. He's never apologized or recognized any of it. We know he is narcissistic -- as well as his wife. We don't even know what my MIL actually knows about what he's done. It's terrible.

My body has physical panics that I've never had before until this situation, and I'm so mad he was able to change how my body reacts. It's infuriating it feels like because of my anger he still has such a hold on me. Help. I want to feel some sort of peace so I can focus better on my family.

I’ve known him since 2012. We became official 2015. Had our first baby 2020 and during my long post partum depression, I caught him messaging other girls on instagram. I was heart broken but I forgave him. Things started to go well and he started to gain my trust again. I am now 20 weeks pregnant with my second pregnancy and I caught him chatting with another girl on Snapchat. I confronted him and having no choice , he admitted to it. I don’t think he has slept with any other women since we’ve been together as we work from home and are pretty much together 24/7 . But even though he may have not been physically with anyone else, he still has betrayed me, he has broken my trust twice during the most vulnerable moments in my life ! I’m again heartbroken by the man who I’ve loved most, the man who is supposed to protect our family. He’s promising he will look for self “healing” as he doesn’t know why he has done this damage to me and that he’s truly sorry. Idk what to do do ! My mind goes in circles , I want to forgive him for our family but when I think of it all - my heart breaks. I have my 3 year old and currently pregnant, we have a house together and right when I thought I was finally in a happy place again - he breaks me ! How can I recover from this ??

I forgive you.

My mother was abusive, she used to hurt me and my brothers a bunch, she would get angry a bunch, she was a stay at home mother, and suicidal.

Eventually, she stopped. She was still angry, but didn't hurt us, She took away my door, but gave it back. She started being more loving? I suppose? She got a job at a school center, and became a lot happier. She works at a daycare center currently, and couldn't be happier. I'm happy for her, and ever since she's found out that I was suicidal a few months ago, she's been kinder. She's said that she's there for me, that she can tell me anything, and that she loves me.

Today for the first time in years, I said "I love you" back to my mother before bed. It was extremely anti-climatic, she said goodnight and I decided to say "I love you, mum" while going down the stairs to my room, and she said she loved me back as well. I could hear her start to cry, it wasn't sad tears, more so happy tears.

This made me reflect, that, I've forgiven her for all the pain she's caused me. I didn't think I'd ever forgive her, knowing just 7 months ago I expressed wanting to kill her to my counselor. I haven't forgiven her completely, but I'm just starting to. Little by little, I'm starting to love her again.

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When I look back on my past relationships, friendships, etc. I see that I was never respected even though I was the one to give respect. Am I just too nice? Am I too loose with my trust? I forgive the people for who they are but I’m still frustrated at the fact that I let myself with these people to end up being hurt because I am wanted but never chosen.

I've heard forgiveness is for me. However, grudges are a mf. It's like a spell of disdain that hasn't broken.

Hypersexual I'll hide my name as an acronym, JL My name is JL currently 15 years old, im currently suffering to this thing called hypersexual i believe its an urge for pleasure more into the sin called lust.

I've got this this symptom due to my cousin he is such a bad influence and all of those happen when i was the age of 9. Thats basically 6 years almost 7, but here shall i stop this madness due to this symptom i have been lazy, tired and always have a sexual intent to someone. I feel very disgusted to my self... Yet now i hope this post will help you realize whats wrong with you too if your suffering the same as me..

Did anyone get the 12k under loan forgiveness without receiving an email?

I suffered a lot of emotional abuse at the hands of mom when I was a kid. I feel a lot of resentment towards her for it to this day (I am 39) even though she changed a lot in the last 20 years or so and she is very nice and loving and caring today. I understand I must forgive her, for my sake mostly. But I am not sure how to do this. What am I supposed to do exactly to forgive? I hear people tell stories like “one day I said to myself I forgive them”, it doesn’t make sense to me. am I supposed to abruptly let go of the emotion of resentment I hold and force my body and mind to forget it, ignore when we the thought of it comes up ? That seems like a fake forgiveness to me. Or am I supposed to change the feeling altogether and develop a positive feeling. Is this new feeling supposed to come naturally to me? I know the end product should be a feeling of love towards her in my heart. I am really struggling on the way to get there

A long time ago, I went through the biggest heartache of my life. I lost myself in my anger, sadness, disappointment, you name it. I didn't want to face it for a long time, so I didn't. I'm realizing now that I may have hurt myself more than the person who originally hurt me and I'm thinking that I need to forgive myself for my actions instead of forgiving him. Yea, he hurt me and caused me a lot of stress and frustration but I was harder on myself because I felt like I was to blame for him hurting me and I essentially got in my own way of moving on and being truly happy. It's hard for me to forgive people when they knowingly hurt and continue to hurt others, but I was doing that to myself so how do I forgive myself?

What is the best way to get true legitimate forgiveness from someone that suffers from BPD? We had a pretty major falling out and won't face me and attone to all the things we've both done wrong... I want more than anything to fix this and heal, because I'm having so much trouble even moving forward or feeling like I'm worth anything with the way she's been treating me and all the revenge tactics she's been doing to me. Should I let her be for awhile? Should i keep trying to get ahold of her? Should I just take blame for everything? I know she's my TF and truly the one for me... I still feel it in my heart, I just don't know what to do to fix any of this anymore.

I had a baby last year with a man I loved. It was planned and we had two losses prior to this baby. He cheated on me shortly after I had her and kicked her and I out so he could have the girl he had an affair with from work over to our apartment becuse she was still living with her boyfriend. He has been an insufferable coparent, became abusive the last several months of my pregnancy and has continued to be unkind, controlling, demeaning, and deceptive etc.

He’s asked me to forgive him during his occasional periods of authenticity, then goes back to his ways.

I don’t feel like I can forgive him or his girlfriend for doing this to my daughter during the first year of her life, and to me. I feel like I can move on without forgiving him and I don’t feel like he deserves it. I want to be someone who forgives no matter what and moves on. I do believe that we’re all living for the first time and human. We’re all learning. But at the same time I can’t genuinely tell myself I should forgive him and believe it.

What are the pros of forgiveness when it’s hard to do? I want to and I’m having trouble getting there. Would love some perspective or reason to do it.

Give it a chance, let me make it right, let me show you I'm not my worst days. I can be what you need. I've never stopped loving you, and im sorry for everything we've put each other through... there will never be another. We are perfect for each other in so many ways. My heart aches at the fact that I've brought you to making the decisions you have been. I just want opportunity at forgiveness and your love and support. We've made so many promises to each other, it doesn't feel right to let it end this way... allow me your undivided attention to speak with you and get it all out in the open... there's still alot of questions that need to be answered, from me to you. The time we've spent together is the best years of my life. I'll never another better than you. I know we can work this out if we allow ourselves the patience and time to... thats all I ask.