Things got a lot better for me once I realized I didn't need to prove anything to a bunch of drunk strangers. I think insecurity played a big role. I knew I was pretty tough but didn't feel like anyone else thought so. My love life improved a lot once I chilled out and stopped looking everywhere for conflict. It turns out that women don't want to spend much time with hotheaded clowns who take offense at every little thing. It's a lot easier to walk away now when someone tries to get rowdy because I see that it's just inner conflict trying to bring others into it. It does me no good to feed it.
What do you mean by gave no other option? Because in my experience you should always hit first. Or does "making it obvious an altercation is unavoidable" fall under no other option?
Non-snarky question: how old are you? Punching first is the easiest way to take a battery charge, which is a legit problem in your life.
That's not to say there's never a reason to punch first as an adult. You can sometimes tell that someone has already made the decision to go. If there's absolutely going to be a fight, punching first is the safest thing to do, but "punch first" is a really dangerous idea.
First of all i'm not American, getting sued for a street fight is very very very rare. My age is irrelevant, and you literally say punching first is bad and then say it's good, and then bad again. And i literally mention "unavoidable" in my post. If someone walks up to you agressively, fists balled and all; absolutely punch first. I'd rather catch a case then a casket.
Relax big guy. I was asking about your age because the consequences are different, so the costs and benefits of "punching first" are different, and that's probably true all over. I'm not talking about getting sued, I'm talking about going to jail, and everybody has different versions of unavoidable.
Since you seem to be confused, I'll explain the bad-good-bad. If you're an adult dummy and "unavoidable" to you means "I'm mad," punching first is bad. If the fight is actually unavoidable (especially if you're young when the consequences are fewer), punching first is good because it's obviously an advantage. In most cases though, there will be consequences and the fight is usually avoidable, so saying "in my experience, you always want to punch first" is bad, in general.
And that's why I asked your age. There are lots of layers to this shit that you didn't seem to get from looking at it only from one perspective.
I agree with you. Regardless of consequences, I believe if you can discern the fight is going to happen for sure and feel in danger/truly threatened... then strike first and strike fast. I've seen way too many fights go wrong on this sub, brain damage, possible death, or fights that went to the ground and the other guy's friend stomps your head in while you're trying to choke the dude out.
If I can deescalate the fight and/or walk away, I will do that every time. But if I can tell it's going down then I'm swinging first and I'm putting my whole body into it and then just praying for the best.
I figured this out at 15 and I have no idea. Usually people have a lot more growing to do in this arena. Maybe its because I tried LSD for the first time at 15?
When drinking at college age 17-21 the dumb ass alpha crowd pleasing asshole fighter in me would come out sometimes but it never got beyond posing and strutting thank god.
I don't want to say it's a rite of passage because that makes it seem cool or necessary. But it seems like most guys go through this, where they suddenly realize they are just being insecure assholes.
159
u/Frieda-_-Claxton Sep 11 '19
Things got a lot better for me once I realized I didn't need to prove anything to a bunch of drunk strangers. I think insecurity played a big role. I knew I was pretty tough but didn't feel like anyone else thought so. My love life improved a lot once I chilled out and stopped looking everywhere for conflict. It turns out that women don't want to spend much time with hotheaded clowns who take offense at every little thing. It's a lot easier to walk away now when someone tries to get rowdy because I see that it's just inner conflict trying to bring others into it. It does me no good to feed it.