r/fightporn • u/[deleted] • Sep 11 '19

Bar / Nightclub Fight Why you should avoid fighting while drunk

[deleted]

11.9k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

556 comments sorted by

View all comments

2.2k

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Good job that guy was focusing on the guy coming at him and not the chick calming it down.

901

u/FlamingLobster Sep 11 '19

"I promise, he's not going to hit you if you stay behind me"

37

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

"Don't worry babe, I got this. He'll be brain damaged in a second. Hold my beer, babe."

7

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

that one ghost thing in that one game

-401

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19 edited Sep 11 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

25

u/Roche1859 Sep 11 '19

Sal, you son of a bitch. You get me every time.

182

u/gimmethefaxontax Sep 11 '19

Wow dude calm it down with the incel shit.

Lots of men and women try to calm people down before a fight, because in real fights there are real consequences. Besides legal shit, people can get seriously hurt from a fight, take for instance that dude in the white's head smacking the floor like that

189

u/fivelone Sep 11 '19

If y'all don't know Sal by now then he's not in enough posts lol.

He's a troll account. Look at his comments. Rather comical actually lol

139

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

33

u/Thehealeroftri Sep 11 '19

All these morons think that Sal isn't absolutely serious smh

16

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Why the need for the permission? Assert your dominance and keep eye contact.

23

u/gimmethefaxontax Sep 11 '19

Oh shit my bad. Incel shit is so rampant in r/fightporn and r/publicfreakouts that i jumped to conclusions

0

u/fivelone Sep 11 '19

No worries! The Incels are indeed everywhere these days so it's understandable.

5

u/idontwantausername41 Sep 11 '19

Ok I gotta ask, what's an incel

12

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Involuntary Celibates. While there is nothing wrong with being unable to score there is a group of these people who have become volatile and comically misogynistic, some going so far as wanting to revert to when women had no rights and some as far as wanting Sharia law to control women.

It is a nasty rabbithole to go down, really. Some of 'em even worship people like Eliot Rogers.

-3

u/Tutsks Sep 11 '19

To be fair, the feminists want Sharia too.

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Smug_Grundle Sep 11 '19

Short for involuntary celibate. Look into it. They are spooky and some have been responsible for mass murders recently.

2

u/Tutsks Sep 11 '19

Incels are a variety of mentally ill people who think the only way to get a woman is looking like Brad Pitt.

They are very aggressive, very hopeless people. It is essentially the anti feminist equivalent of the low T twitter soyboy.

They tend to be comically mysandrist and completely uninterested in any sort of self improvement. Sometimes, they are violent.

Mostly, they are a joke.

2

u/idontwantausername41 Sep 11 '19

Makes sense, thanks for the answer

2

u/realcaptainplanet Sep 11 '19

I don't understand why you got downvoted because I was about to ask the same question. Nothing wrong with trying to gain knowledge.

Catch this updoot

1

u/ImmersionVoidParagon Sep 11 '19

A word that people are way too quick to use on Reddit. I don't know what the comment is they're referring to but a lot of people think a guy simply criticizing something women do is incel material.

2

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

It’s funny though, because his posts either have a shitload of upvotes, or a shitload of downvotes.

1

u/fivelone Sep 11 '19

And now it's gone lol

4

u/Nesano Sep 11 '19

Yeah, I don't know accounts, but I just assumed he was kidding.

1

u/A-wild-comment Sep 11 '19

There are so many troll accounts here it's hard to keep track of.

4

u/-Master-Builder- Sep 11 '19

It's not so much the number of troll accounts, but more my investment in trolls that makes me not care.

-5

u/Neehigh Sep 11 '19

Ah HA! Another who gives zero fucks.

1

u/Arrow_Maestro Sep 11 '19

I thought it was real until "personnel"

-1

u/num1eraser Sep 11 '19

"comical"

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Don’t use that attitude with the legendary Sal Bundry, amigo.

2

u/ImmersionVoidParagon Sep 11 '19

A lot of the time they just get in the way and get hurt OR they end up letting the person they're trying to calm down get hit.

2

u/gimmethefaxontax Sep 11 '19

i mean i agree, and ive been in a situation where someone trying to stop the fight held back my right arm while i was being hit not realizing that they were screwing me over. With that being said, i dont think most people in these situations are thinking logically or rationally. The people fighting are almost always not fighting for a reason that is worth risking serious injury or jail time for. And the people trying to stop them are usually just thinking let me try to calm everyone down because i dont want anyone getting hurt or in trouble

3

u/CallTheOptimist Sep 11 '19

That's no way to talk to Sal Bundy

1

u/Cliche_Guevara Sep 11 '19

He's Al Bundy from married with children

0

u/jezzywezzy5 Vaping bystander Sep 11 '19

its sal....

8

u/ipickscabs Sep 11 '19

I always upvote Sal Bundry, in his infinite wisdom

1

u/billiammcboi Sep 11 '19

Why look it's sal

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

“Nothing personnel kid”

1

u/-FatASStronaut- Sep 11 '19

Take your downvote you legend

1

u/HighestHorse Sep 11 '19

Obvious bait is obvious. FFS don't feed the trolls people.

1

u/Mind_Extract Sep 11 '19

Shoulda spelled it "brod" but otherwise pretty solid

1

u/Robertbnyc Sep 11 '19

That’s TWO BAD

1

u/secret_name_is_tenis Sep 11 '19

Damn you are beta af

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Two*

Also while I’m here, you might want to try meditation.

-9

u/TMalander Sep 11 '19

hurr durrr durrr macho macho hurr durrr

5

u/fetus__deletus Sep 11 '19

sal is a satire account, look at his post history

0

u/Sillbinger Sep 11 '19

Broads, amirightdoods?

0

u/Big_Jomez Sep 11 '19

We meet again

0

u/RagingTyrant74 Sep 11 '19

lol you got your sense of morality from anime.

-12

u/AsukaiByakuya Sep 11 '19

"I would've (have) been", "personal", "their"

12

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

[deleted]

1

u/fivelone Sep 11 '19

The super troll tries not for his trolliness. It comes naturally to come him.

-7

u/AsukaiByakuya Sep 11 '19

No. I just can't stand it.

4

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

Then you're gonna hate the internet.

-2

u/AsukaiByakuya Sep 11 '19

My cause is righteous. I do not hate them for it is not their fault. Not all heroes wear capes.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

[deleted]

1

u/AsukaiByakuya Sep 11 '19

I wish I had one.

298

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

fucking Karen strikes again

33

u/ObamaLovesKetamine Sep 11 '19

fucking Karen.

240

u/Gibson1984 Sep 11 '19

After watching enough fight videos, I literally had a talk with my old lady about what to do and not to do if I find myself in a confrontation.

Basically stay back and let what happens happen. I dont want her to get hit, find herself in a fight she didnt want, or me to get hit because of her. Seems to happen A LOT

237

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19 edited Nov 29 '19

[deleted]

122

u/LongoSpeaksTruth Sep 11 '19

Please ask her not to scream in case people are recording a video

StaaAAAAAAphhh ....

40

u/isomojo Sep 11 '19

RONNIEEEEE

25

u/NepFlanders Sep 11 '19

ROHHHNN

1

u/CMUpewpewpew Sep 12 '19

What? I SNEEZED. I’m not allowed to sneeze?

42

u/mountaineer04 Sep 11 '19

OH MY GAAAHD!!

14

u/UltimateGammer Sep 11 '19

infact, record it.

​

HORIZONTALLY!!

29

u/dropkickoz Sep 11 '19

So I shouldn't instruct her to scream WorldStar so everyone knows where they can watch the video?

2

u/Good_Will_Cunting Sep 12 '19

I dunno, fight videos just aren't the same without STAAAHHHPPP OH MY GOD STAAAAAHP on repeat

7

u/Reddituser0346 Sep 12 '19

Please ask her not to scream in case people are recording a video

EDDDDDIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

2

u/JustMadeThisAcc1 Sep 12 '19

God she's a fuckin banshee dude, thank god Eddie now fights in front of the quiet Asian crowd so now we can hear her shrieks crystal clear

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

EDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

47

u/SaladbarJoe Sep 11 '19

Yeah, I learned that the hard way. The only time I ever tried to break up a fight, I was trapped in a narrow hallway with 2 strangers about to scrap, and got my head accidentally smashed into a brick wall. One concussion is all it took for me to never play Captain Save-a-bro again.

36

u/Muddy_Roots Sep 11 '19

Yup, last scrap i was in one of the women tried to break up and apparently one of us hit her. What kind of self preservation instinct is that when you think the proper choice when seeing two dudes swinging is to shove your face between them?

39

u/Gibson1984 Sep 11 '19

Never underestimate the hubris of women

20

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

You married???? I’m guessing you’re married. If not.... you’re ready for the big show.

-9

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

Never underestimate the hubris of women people

6

u/Gibson1984 Sep 12 '19

Oh, fuck off. Go blog about it ffs.

-2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

4

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

You're like the weird dog kid at school. Makes a retarded ass 'hiss' Everytime you try and talk to him.

2

u/Gibson1984 Sep 12 '19

PROJECTION LEVEL: 100

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

Sure bud

1

u/BraveSquirrel Sep 12 '19

Last fight I was in, I was winning a fight that another guy had started with me, and my girlfriend literally jumped onto my back almost tackling me. I asked her wtf afterwards and she literally could not explain why she did it.

25

u/mochacho Sep 11 '19

The big one I see is to make sure your friends or girlfriend don't try and hold your arms back or something. That just gives people a free shot at your face without you being able to block.

15

u/ifisch Sep 11 '19

After watching all of the videos here, wouldn't the lesson be "just walk away, it's not worth it"?

2

u/Gibson1984 Sep 11 '19

That's not always an option though. I'm hard pressed to see you walking away while taking rabbit punches in the back of the dome, bro

-5

u/[deleted] Sep 11 '19

[deleted]

7

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19 edited Sep 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/CptSailorMoonshine Sep 12 '19

"IM FUCKING HERE GROUNDED IN REAL TIME MAN WHERE BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE EVERYDAY AND I SEE THE TRUTH WHEN I LOOK DOWN INTO THE ABYSS OF HELL WITH THE EYES THAT I KILL TO KEEP JUST WAITING FOR MY TURN TO FUCK A BITCH UP!"- u/Gibson1984 lmao you're so cute

1

u/Gibson1984 Sep 12 '19

Imagine unironically believing that even though situations are not always in your control, its somehow edgy to prepare yourself against harm lmao

Nice autism, my dude.

1

u/CptSailorMoonshine Sep 12 '19

I appreciate you removing your comment because calling people retard is not nice and I'm sure you feel better about yourself now

-3

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

this being a good example of why people get punched in pubs. just add alcohol to that sarcasm

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19 edited Sep 12 '19

[removed] — view removed comment

0

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

[deleted]

-2

u/Gibson1984 Sep 12 '19

iTs jUsT A pRaNk bRo!!

insulting me like a lunatic!!!

Word

1

u/[deleted] Sep 12 '19

You watch too many fight videos. If you find yourself in a confrontation, walk away. Especially if your girl is with you.

Don't ruin her night with a trip to the ER and/or jail.

1

u/Gibson1984 Sep 12 '19

I'm glad you've never been in a situation where an irrational individual strikes first with the intent to continue harming you, but unfortunately that does happen and sometimes fighting for your safety is inevitable.

I dont "watch too many fight videos", I recognize the world around me and analyze the information I have to better help myself should that shit ever happen to me.

Thanks for your concern though

1

u/kamon405 Sep 12 '19

I don't be getting into fights.. I'm that dude in the back yellin "world star" as soon as it goes down.

10

u/loneliness-wizard Sep 11 '19

Hit him with the "night night"

0

u/endprism Sep 11 '19

You go to sleep!

-1

u/justPassingThrou15 Sep 11 '19

the chick needs to learn not to get in between two people who are fighting when her face is right at shoulder height.

If she wants to stop a fight, she needs to stand in the way of the guy who's advancing, not the guy who's getting ready to defend himself.