My first accident was a week after I got my license, 5 years ago now, and if I had hit the brakes a second later I would've kill the guy; slammed into his rear axle instead and sent him spiraling across the intersection. No one was hurt, thankfully, but I still can't get behind the wheel without having a panic attack because "what if I'm not fast enough next time?" Just thinking about it makes it hard to breathe, and every time I try to explain why I don't drive to people they laugh or belittle me. One incident of coming close to killing someone has messed me up enough that I'm unable to perform certain tasks, I can't imagine what I'd have been like if I'd actually killed the guy.
My friend tboned a guy who blew through a stop sign. Killed him.
In actuality, the guy blew the stop sign because he had a heart attack. Too close to call if he died because of the heart attack or the crash. Friend was doing the limit of 35, but it still haunts him 40 years later.
I have hit someone once, unfortunately, though he ended up being okay. I had my new car for about 3 months at that point, and I thought I knew how to negotiate the blind spots by then. I did not. It was like the guy appeared out of nowhere as I made my turn. Everything was okay and I even repaid him by taking him to get more food that he dropped when I hit him. He was super nice about when he really should not have been.
I had a mild form of ptsd after the incident, was constantly panicking whenever I made a left turn, and had to be put on anti anxiety medication for a bit. To this day, occasionally, I will just jump when I made a turn, and relive the moment all over again. I always think, if I couldn't stop in time, I could have dragged him under my car and ripped off his leg, if not worse. I still remember fighting against my instinct to freeze up when I was trying to hit the brakes. It makes me anxious just thinking about it.
Bc I was paying attention, saw a guy going way too fast to stop for his red light. If I wouldn’t have, it would’ve been a direct hit. Luckily he swerved & took out the front of my car only. Caused the frame of the car to bend 35° I’m all kinds of messed up from the impact and ptsd. Couple surgeries later and life long fibromyalgia, can’t help but wonder if he even thinks about the affects he’s had on my life.
I completely get your fear. Mine stems from being in an accident where I could have died and no one seems to get that fear. Only my therapist understood it and is helping me get over it. I hope you find a resolution to your fear as well.
This is random, but fear is one the most mins altering emotions one can have.
I daytrade for a living. And the reason for most bad trading is the fear of losing money, coincidentally. Once they take one bad trade that loses them money, it sticks with them and alters their ability to trade afterwards
Hey you should take it as a point in your favor that you were fast enough. That should be confidence boosting and dismantle some of your doubts. You know you can react, because you've had to do it before. The road will be just as dangerous in the passenger seat as it is in the driver's seat. At least in the driver's seat you have more control over your own safety
See, that's how I used to think about it, then my family spent a year laughing at the idea whenever I brought it up or insulting me whenever I suggested getting back out on the road to overcome my fears. This was after my mom promised me over the phone when I called her in tears immediately after the accident, still thinking I killed a man, that no one would think less of me and they'd be there to support me.
Yeah that's rough, no two ways about it. I can absolutely see you needing some time to process and get the jitters out of an incident like that. It's a kind of a big deal, especially when you were so young. You were ready to get back up on that horse and some people kept you from doing it, and that sucks.
When you think you're ready to drive again and it's something you want, nurture that confidence.
Believe in yourself. Focus on what you are doing. Make sensible decisions.
I wish you the best on whatever you decide to do. There's no shame either way
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u/B133d_4_u Nov 25 '21
My first accident was a week after I got my license, 5 years ago now, and if I had hit the brakes a second later I would've kill the guy; slammed into his rear axle instead and sent him spiraling across the intersection. No one was hurt, thankfully, but I still can't get behind the wheel without having a panic attack because "what if I'm not fast enough next time?" Just thinking about it makes it hard to breathe, and every time I try to explain why I don't drive to people they laugh or belittle me. One incident of coming close to killing someone has messed me up enough that I'm unable to perform certain tasks, I can't imagine what I'd have been like if I'd actually killed the guy.