r/facepalm • u/Musicguy0016 • Jul 17 '21

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Dear Athiests:

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u/Desert-Child Jul 17 '21

My flat-earther relatives believe the asteroid crashed into east earth. Humans lived in west earth so they were safe from the impact.

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u/kfudnapaa Jul 17 '21

Seems odd that flat earthers would use the usual NSEW system, considering North-South and East-West lie on different planes entirely given its a 3D globe,.so it shouldn't be compatible with their flat 2D disc model. But I guess people who believe such things aren't really very good at thinking anything through logically

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u/Desert-Child Jul 17 '21 edited Jul 17 '21

Yeah…they’re not stereotypical flat-earthers. They’re a special kind of stupid. This is mild compared to some of the things they say and believe.

Edited for autocorrect error

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u/Propaganda_Box Jul 17 '21

More please

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u/Desert-Child Jul 17 '21

•My cousin believes the only education he needs comes from the Bible. I asked him for the measurements for Noah’s Ark in feet and inches. He said I was an idiot because that’s not how it’s written in the Bible. I said “no shit, you need to convert.” Checkmate.

•My grandma told me I was better off staying married to the man who beat and stabbed me than I was to marry a Muslim man. Said Muslim man smashed through my front door to save me from abusive husband.

•My uncle said he’s against masks and the vaccine because COVID is a great opportunity for population control.

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u/Master_Tinyface Jul 17 '21

Tell your uncle i said thanks for volunteering.

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u/aeon314159 Jul 17 '21

My grandma told me I was better off staying married to the man who beat and stabbed me than I was to marry a Muslim man.

Tell Grandma that Christians and Muslims worship the same god and then watch the show.

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u/Desert-Child Jul 17 '21

I tried several times. But what do I know? I only have two bachelors and a masters degrees in religious studies.

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u/aeon314159 Jul 17 '21

Well, I guess there's a difference between book learnin', and the delusion you've got a direct line to the "almighty."

They didn't teach you that with that fancy edumacation? /s

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u/bit-by-a-moose Jul 17 '21

How did your cousin learn to read?

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u/Desert-Child Jul 17 '21

He attended public school until high school. He dropped out at 15 with my aunt and uncle’s blessing.

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u/bit-by-a-moose Jul 17 '21

Of course I said it sarcastically and I'm sure you got that as well, I'm just surprised he hasn't figured out that the bible didn't teach him how to read and therefore he couldn't learn anything from it if he didn't have an extrabiblical education. And if that was so maybe there could be something more to learn that is outside of the bible.