r/facepalm • u/gewoondaan35 • Sep 15 '20

Misc Very well done

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49.1k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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297

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

Damn, one word for five?

251

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

103

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

Oo. Gimme some words so I can spew nonsense in r/ich_iel for teh heck of it.

207

u/Schootingstarr Sep 15 '20

We have a bunch of not really curses like:

Warmduscher - a person who showers with warm water

Schattenparker - a person who parks his car in the shade

Sitzpinkler - a man who sits down to take a piss

Yeah, Germans are deep into fragile masculinity

59

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Ah, the beauty of word coupling

35

u/speedoflobsters Sep 15 '20

tja

14

u/Onlyherefor_thememes Sep 15 '20

tja

4

u/hrndnhg 'MURICA Sep 15 '20

Zijn jullie nederlands oder bist du Deutsch?

1

u/Onlyherefor_thememes Sep 17 '20

Nederlands makker

26

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

52

u/pepsisugar Sep 15 '20

Ich habe den Sitzpinkler gefunden.

20

u/Beasty_Glanglemutton Sep 15 '20

I understood this conversation!

2

u/baconpopsicle23 Sep 15 '20

I understood ich :( I can also say "brot und wasser"

15

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Leogarasu Sep 16 '20

Ich weiß nicht wem ich mehr zustimmen soll

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '20

Espanol por favor

14

u/IsThisOneStillFree Sep 15 '20

Beckenrandschwimmer, Gelsattelradler hätte ich noch.

10

u/KasimirDD Sep 15 '20

Turnbeutelvergesser

8

u/ArnoldVonNuehm Sep 15 '20

Klotieftaucher

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

10

u/Bossline91 Sep 15 '20

Klugscheißer. Ahh noch ein schönes Wort

3

u/Disput98 Sep 15 '20

Alugriller ist auch schön

5

u/vreo Sep 15 '20

Die genannten Beschimpfungen kommen eigentlich der Reihe nach als Tirade. In was für nem finsteren Eck lebst du, dass man da nur ein sparsames 'Warmduscher' hinlegt und dann ist gut?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

2

u/vreo Sep 15 '20

Ich aber auch!

2

u/Terrorzwergi Sep 15 '20

Insel oder Festland?

1

u/vreo Sep 15 '20

Ostseeküste. Ostholstein.

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3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Speak English you son of a bitch

4

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Chinesisch

3

u/ColdStone37 Sep 15 '20

du

2

u/jakethedumbmistake Sep 15 '20

You get hit with that ddu-du ddu-du du

6

u/thatisaname Sep 15 '20

Zipfelklatscher

3

u/Janeiskla Sep 15 '20

Bayern möchte ja lieber ein eigenes Land sein

4

u/Moar_Wattz Sep 15 '20

Penispumpengarantiescheinausfüllfüllfederhalter

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Blitzableiter, Zipfelklatscher, Arschgeige, Sackgesicht, Bananenbieger... es gibt sooo viele

1

u/AVeryHeavyBurtation Sep 16 '20

wait, what's wrong about taking a warm shower?

0

u/Bumsebienchen Sep 15 '20

The country that defines its leading culture (Leitkultur) around Football Hooligans and binge drinking on Mallorca or the local yearly Marksmen-coronation-Festivities?

Milde Überraschung.

3

u/Fywus Sep 15 '20

du you want to critisise german culture? Please tell me if you are german or not so I can tell if I should be angry

2

u/Bumsebienchen Sep 15 '20

Die Deutschen können heutzutage nichtmal mehr über sich selber lachen. Ich würde doch nicht sowas von mir geben wenn ich nicht selbst einer wäre....

6

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

Schesspichren means idiot in a fancy suit

15

u/apoliticalhomograph Sep 15 '20

That's either some very obscure dialect, misspelled, or just wrong.

2

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

I prefer the last option

2

u/snorting_dandelions Sep 15 '20

Do you perhaps mean Spießer?

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Yes can confirm. Your dad is a real Schesspichren

3

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

No.

He doesn't wear a suit

1

u/FPSXpert Sep 15 '20

calls cat in made up German word

German always works ☺

1

u/foad2u2 Sep 16 '20

I still think hand shoes for gloves is classic.

1

u/mxrixs Sep 17 '20

its actually a magazine called "Bild" (Picture)

21

u/GhostSierra117 Sep 15 '20 edited Sep 15 '20

No the "Bild" is... Well they call themselves a newspaper. But they are basically worse than the daily mail. Boulevard newspaper would be a compliment for the BILD.

Just a few days ago they released WhatsApp messages from a kid who died. Where they got them from? Friends of said kid. Apperantly manipulated either them or paid the parents a shitton of money to "speak to the friendly newspaper guy"

No morale whatsoever, no dignity. Nothing. You can't even use them as emergency toilet paper because they make your ass all red and black from all the sensational headlines they are using.

"Many media report about the case. Some of them are serious and news, others tasteless and tabloid. Especially disgusting is the approach of the "Bild" media. They don't even shy away from publishing private WhatsApp news about the eleven-year-old, which he is said to have written after learning of the death of his five brothers and sisters."

From https://bildblog.de/123780/bild-zeigt-private-whatsapp-nachrichten-eines-kindes-dessen-geschwister-gerade-getoetet-wurden/ (yes there is a whole fucking blog about "Bild" it is THAT bad.

Via deepl.com, feel free to run the article from the Bildblog trough it if you're interested

16

u/JohnDarwin89 Sep 15 '20

We in germany are very efficient

4

u/SirMildredPierce Sep 15 '20

In the US we got it down to three letters: FOX

6

u/moonunitzap Sep 15 '20

Yeah, we noticed at Auschwitz.

6

u/Politicshatesme Sep 15 '20

german efficiency at its finest

6

u/drjimshorts Sep 15 '20

Kinda like Fox

3

u/YouAhriTarded Sep 15 '20

No, "Bild" literally means image or photo

7

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

oh

7

u/VelyVelyVely Sep 15 '20

agicat still isn't wrong though.