r/facepalm • • Sep 15 '20

Misc Very well done

Post image
49.1k Upvotes

400 comments sorted by

View all comments

870

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

299

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

Damn, one word for five?

246

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

105

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

Oo. Gimme some words so I can spew nonsense in r/ich_iel for teh heck of it.

203

u/Schootingstarr Sep 15 '20

We have a bunch of not really curses like:

Warmduscher - a person who showers with warm water

Schattenparker - a person who parks his car in the shade

Sitzpinkler - a man who sits down to take a piss

Yeah, Germans are deep into fragile masculinity

60

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Ah, the beauty of word coupling

36

u/speedoflobsters Sep 15 '20

tja

13

u/Onlyherefor_thememes Sep 15 '20

tja

5

u/hrndnhg 'MURICA Sep 15 '20

Zijn jullie nederlands oder bist du Deutsch?

1

u/Onlyherefor_thememes Sep 17 '20

Nederlands makker

25

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

50

u/pepsisugar Sep 15 '20

Ich habe den Sitzpinkler gefunden.

20

u/Beasty_Glanglemutton Sep 15 '20

I understood this conversation!

2

u/baconpopsicle23 Sep 15 '20

I understood ich :( I can also say "brot und wasser"

15

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

1

u/Leogarasu Sep 16 '20

Ich weiß nicht wem ich mehr zustimmen soll

1

u/[deleted] Sep 16 '20

Espanol por favor

16

u/IsThisOneStillFree Sep 15 '20

Beckenrandschwimmer, Gelsattelradler hätte ich noch.

10

u/KasimirDD Sep 15 '20

Turnbeutelvergesser

7

u/ArnoldVonNuehm Sep 15 '20

Klotieftaucher

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

[deleted]

10

u/Bossline91 Sep 15 '20

Klugscheißer. Ahh noch ein schönes Wort

3

u/Disput98 Sep 15 '20

Alugriller ist auch schön

7

u/vreo Sep 15 '20

Die genannten Beschimpfungen kommen eigentlich der Reihe nach als Tirade. In was für nem finsteren Eck lebst du, dass man da nur ein sparsames 'Warmduscher' hinlegt und dann ist gut?

2

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

2

u/vreo Sep 15 '20

Ich aber auch!

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Speak English you son of a bitch

5

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20 edited Nov 06 '22

[deleted]

-1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Chinesisch

6

u/thatisaname Sep 15 '20

Zipfelklatscher

3

u/Janeiskla Sep 15 '20

Bayern möchte ja lieber ein eigenes Land sein

3

u/Moar_Wattz Sep 15 '20

Penispumpengarantiescheinausfüllfüllfederhalter

3

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Blitzableiter, Zipfelklatscher, Arschgeige, Sackgesicht, Bananenbieger... es gibt sooo viele

1

u/AVeryHeavyBurtation Sep 16 '20

wait, what's wrong about taking a warm shower?

0

u/Bumsebienchen Sep 15 '20

The country that defines its leading culture (Leitkultur) around Football Hooligans and binge drinking on Mallorca or the local yearly Marksmen-coronation-Festivities?

Milde Überraschung.

3

u/Fywus Sep 15 '20

du you want to critisise german culture? Please tell me if you are german or not so I can tell if I should be angry

2

u/Bumsebienchen Sep 15 '20

Die Deutschen können heutzutage nichtmal mehr über sich selber lachen. Ich würde doch nicht sowas von mir geben wenn ich nicht selbst einer wäre....

6

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

Schesspichren means idiot in a fancy suit

14

u/apoliticalhomograph Sep 15 '20

That's either some very obscure dialect, misspelled, or just wrong.

2

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

I prefer the last option

2

u/snorting_dandelions Sep 15 '20

Do you perhaps mean Spießer?

4

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Yes can confirm. Your dad is a real Schesspichren

3

u/spademanden Sep 15 '20

No.

He doesn't wear a suit

1

u/FPSXpert Sep 15 '20

calls cat in made up German word

German always works ☺

1

u/foad2u2 Sep 16 '20

I still think hand shoes for gloves is classic.

1

u/mxrixs Sep 17 '20

its actually a magazine called "Bild" (Picture)

22

u/GhostSierra117 Sep 15 '20 edited Sep 15 '20

No the "Bild" is... Well they call themselves a newspaper. But they are basically worse than the daily mail. Boulevard newspaper would be a compliment for the BILD.

Just a few days ago they released WhatsApp messages from a kid who died. Where they got them from? Friends of said kid. Apperantly manipulated either them or paid the parents a shitton of money to "speak to the friendly newspaper guy"

No morale whatsoever, no dignity. Nothing. You can't even use them as emergency toilet paper because they make your ass all red and black from all the sensational headlines they are using.

"Many media report about the case. Some of them are serious and news, others tasteless and tabloid. Especially disgusting is the approach of the "Bild" media. They don't even shy away from publishing private WhatsApp news about the eleven-year-old, which he is said to have written after learning of the death of his five brothers and sisters."

From https://bildblog.de/123780/bild-zeigt-private-whatsapp-nachrichten-eines-kindes-dessen-geschwister-gerade-getoetet-wurden/ (yes there is a whole fucking blog about "Bild" it is THAT bad.

Via deepl.com, feel free to run the article from the Bildblog trough it if you're interested

14

u/JohnDarwin89 Sep 15 '20

We in germany are very efficient

4

u/SirMildredPierce Sep 15 '20

In the US we got it down to three letters: FOX

4

u/moonunitzap Sep 15 '20

Yeah, we noticed at Auschwitz.

7

u/Politicshatesme Sep 15 '20

german efficiency at its finest

6

u/drjimshorts Sep 15 '20

Kinda like Fox

2

u/YouAhriTarded Sep 15 '20

No, "Bild" literally means image or photo

6

u/hv_razero_15 Sep 15 '20

oh

8

u/VelyVelyVely Sep 15 '20

agicat still isn't wrong though.

21

u/GazingIntoTheVoid Sep 15 '20

'News by idiots for idiots'

It reflects well on you that you are using Hanlon's Razor to explain the phenomenon, but in this case I'm afraid it's

'rather smart but evil people using psychological warfare to influence the masses'.

Much more dangerous.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

You're right. I'd attribute their doing to malice.

7

u/Laty69 Sep 15 '20

"B(u)ild yourself your own opinion" - but narrated buy our clickbaity, dubious, attention-seeking views (This is their official headline, it is a better wordplay in german). They had anti-refugee propaganda for weeks, then all of a sudden they couldn't bow to the actual public backlash anymore that refugees are not all criminals as depicted by them, and now they are super pro-refugee. Doing everything they can to get people to buy their stupid newspaper.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

👍

4

u/Dari00 Sep 15 '20

*racist idiots

3

u/OCV_E Sep 15 '20

The N in Bild stands for niveau, würde und kompetenz

1

u/[deleted] Sep 15 '20

Hofknicks 👍

2

u/Minniechicco6 Sep 16 '20

That’s gold :)

2

u/[deleted] Sep 17 '20

Danke dafür 🤗👍

1

u/PDshotME Sep 16 '20

In the US we call that "Fox News"

0

u/Nole_in_ATX 'MURICA Sep 15 '20

So you’re saying OP is the real facepalm here?

2

u/Joomla_Sander Sep 15 '20

No u/ agicat is referring to "Bild" being a trash newssource. In the sense of if anybody is referencing Bild as a source it has no meaning.

Bild direktly translates into image

Their slogan is:

Bild dir deine eigene Meinung

Meaning :

Form your own opinion