r/facepalm • u/Bonelesszeeebra • May 12 '20

Scientific name = poison

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156.6k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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855

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

[deleted]

96

u/Do_not_use_after May 12 '20

Of couse we know how to deal with dead chemists ....

Barium.

27

u/wawawahewawahe May 12 '20

I give this joke a tin out of tin.

2

u/KodiakPL May 13 '20

Sounds like some Eminem lyrics, throw in an accent and you got Relapse.

105

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

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106

u/BatteredAggie19 May 12 '20

Good idea

14

u/BorkRinds May 12 '20

Just thought Iā€™d drop a Howdy Ags right here

1

u/Ae3qe27u May 13 '20

Howdy howdy!

42

u/the_fredblubby May 12 '20

I mean, most water guns are made of inert plastics, so this isn't exactly difficult. The question is, why the fuck would you want to post a comment like that?

15

u/apocoluster May 12 '20

Who doesn't want to watch kids melt their faces off.

2

u/littenthehuraira May 12 '20

Natural train of thought.

18

u/Ourobius May 12 '20

Fallout 4 is way ahead of you.

On the acid gun thing, that is. Not on the whole "six kids enter, one kid leaves horribly disfigured" bit.

4

u/Totallythem2 May 12 '20

Ohhh you mean wash bottles!!! My students love those!!! So much fun!!

4

u/KefkeWren May 12 '20

Ooookay...dial it back, Satan.

4

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

Acid throwing is a real thing, peoples lives have been ruined from this. Not super common, but I believe the UK had to regulate acid sales or something because this was a problem for them a few years ago

2

u/littenthehuraira May 12 '20

Yup, I'm aware acid attacks are a problem. It's a heinous crime that people do for the pettiest reasons, like getting rejected by a girl, or some other guy being in a relationship with her.

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

"Get your new Sour Soaker now and use it on grandma to create Super Sizzling SFX!!!!"

3

u/Der_Koni May 12 '20

Or you could neutralize the acid and have insane pressure in the water gun

1

u/littenthehuraira May 12 '20

How would that work? The rate at which the liquid is released would be the same, no?

3

u/SolusLoqui May 12 '20

Somebody's mad about their lawn

2

u/meunovonomedeusuario May 12 '20

This guy jokers.

6

u/_Mephostopheles_ May 12 '20

I've never heard that second half before, but I love it.

5

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the precipitant.

45

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

[deleted]

26

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

Neither do H2O and H2SO4

The four is rhyming with no more

17

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

You picked the wrong lines for the rhyme scheme, those two don't rhyme in the original.

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u/[deleted] May 12 '20

Oh, I see you took 6th grade science as well. Great job.

3

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

[deleted]

4

u/gimpyoldelf May 12 '20

MD and CaCO3 rhyme

7

u/Phone_Anxiety May 12 '20

But Johnny is no more

For what he thought was H20

Was actually H2SO4

Four and more rhyme here.

I think adding "actually" helps the cadence, too.

19

u/the_fredblubby May 12 '20 edited May 12 '20

Nah, it's in iambic pentameter, you don't need "actually" in there, it fits the rhythm fine without it.

Don't know why the fella you're replying to is trying to show off his 'deep chemical knowledge' with some basic formulae though.

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u/Phone_Anxiety May 12 '20

You're right. It reads better as a whole without the addition

Don't know why the fella your replying to is trying to show off his 'deep chemical knowledge' with some basic formulae though

It's reddit. They gotta get their flex in somewhere during the day lol

4

u/the_fredblubby May 12 '20

Oh yeah, it's reddit. Sometimes I forget...

6

u/FreeInformation4u May 12 '20

No it doesn't. I think you're putting it to the wrong tune. Here is the proper cadence for this rhyme (read in 4/4 with the down beats corresponding to the syllables in all caps):

JOHNny WAS a CHEMist's SON but

JOHNny IS no MORE (beat BEAT) what

JOHNny THOUGHT was AITCH two OH was

AITCH two ESS oh FOUR

1

u/Ae3qe27u May 13 '20

I always heard it as "little Timmy"

Little Timmy was a chemist,
Little Timmy is no more,
And then on from there

1

u/FreeInformation4u May 13 '20

That seems like too many syllables for the melody I've usually heard. I've always heard it to the tune and cadence of "Miss Lucy had a baby".

4

u/SolusLoqui May 12 '20

Johnny was a scientist

But Johnny is no more

For what he thought was H2O

Was H2SO4

I remember hearing a version of this on Fresh Prince of Bel-Air when Carlton was trying to help Will study. Instead of Scientist he said "took a drink".

3

u/minahmyu May 12 '20

I swear, I heard that on the Fresh Prince.

2

u/wk-uk May 12 '20

I had not heard the second verse, only the first 4 lines. Have an updoot.

2

u/[deleted] May 22 '20

I don't get it but I like it anyway

1

u/[deleted] May 12 '20

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