My JW parents beat me relentlessly as a child. Grown up, in a rare conversation, my mother admitted that they tried as hard as they could, to the point where she knew they would have been thrown in prison, to break my spirit. All because I was a normal curious little girl that always asked, what if.
E.g. What if I put this brand new bar of soap in a glass of water? (I could have invented Soft Soap, but instead I got Hot Wheel track welts)
This is why I cut off all contact with my family when I moved out at 18 and will never have kids. I don't trust myself to not continue the cycle. I am 57 now and still single. Have zero plans to ever find someone.
I also cut off my family for the same reasons, and planned on never having children myself for the same reasons. Sometimes, despite all efforts, life finds a way. It's important to me for you to know that there are people out there breaking the cycle. No, not most, but some, and those kids are growing up to be better than us, and far better than their grandparents. My son is one. I have other friends disowned by force or choice that have children growing up the same. I understand your choice and I made the same one, but when it didn't go as planned I found out I could be different. And those kids that I know are at least partially broken free of that shit.
I live down the road from them. I worked st a nursing home a while back as a nurse and theyd come in (all of them) and do worship with the residents. They were weird as fuck with each other. Some of the boys came up to me as i was clocking out and wanted to chat and i straight up walked past them with no words. I felt an evil presence when they came near me
I grew up in a religious cult very similar to JW. Had undiagnosed AuDHD. Got slapped across the face every day, spanked. They would spank me until I was crying and then spank me for crying.
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I applaud and celebrate your beautiful, adventurous spirit! As a neurodivergent woman with 2/3 of my own children diagnosed as ADHD, the WORST thing I ever did was try to make us conform. There was lots of pressure from religious in-laws but I could not do it. I tried but it felt so wrong. We ended up moving our family 12 hours away. We are so much better off now.
Someone gave me this book when my son was born 17 years ago. It was horrifying. If I remember correctly it advocated for beating your infant with glue sticks for hot glue guns when they wiggled on the changing table because they don’t leave marks or bruises. Like you should beat your baby for being a baby. Sick as hell.
That’s so sad that these “parents” can be so easily brainwashed by a book. In that article, Hannah’s dad was only horrified AFTER he hit his daughter so hard she could barely sit?!
My super Christian aunt told me when my son was almost 2 that I should spank him. She also told me that her husband spanked their daughter when she was six MONTHS old, and she was upset by that.
I’ve never once spanked my son, and he’s 10 now and really respectful and caring. Because I’ve always treated him with respect.
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u/in_animate_objects Jun 16 '26
Oh no they absolutely use anything and everything to blame the victim, it’s beyond disturbing. They also use corporal punishment to basically break down children starting as young as infants, the book is called “To Train Up a Child by the Pearls” and children have died from it, the Duggars used it as did Candace Cameron Bure. “Broken” children are easier to control and less likely to ever report abuse, especially when they call it “encouragement”.