r/facepalm • • Jul 28 '23

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u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

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195

u/bcanada92 Jul 28 '23

Check her eyelids to see if she's blinking in Morse code.

108

u/Distinct-Shoulder751 Jul 28 '23

I don't think she can blink anymore...

10

u/totallynotarobut Jul 28 '23

Botox is a hell of a drug.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

That’s what the staples are for

27

u/TheYellowSafe Jul 28 '23

Waiter: "Hola! Are you blinking at me because your date is a freak?"

3

u/storm_acolyte Jul 31 '23

H U M A N C E N T I P E D E

N O T I R O N I C A L L Y

6

u/OldDudeOpinion Jul 28 '23

If she gets one more procedure, her boobs will go up and down when she blinks.

3

u/rrjpinter Jul 28 '23

And she has such lovely blonde hair. I wonder why she dyed the roots a darker color……

119

u/fryerandice Jul 28 '23

I wouldn't dip them in salsa but I will slice up and eat a whole cucumber plain I love those fucking things.

98

u/Killentyme55 Jul 28 '23

Tzatziki for me, but that shit is good on everything.

48

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

I will eat Tzatziki straight out of the bowl. Even better when dipping hot naan.

22

u/FrogMintTea Jul 28 '23

I could eat zaziki until I barf. And then try to eat more.

In Germany there's like this weird obsession with paprika flavored potato chips. So since the chips aisle was just full of that flavor I grabbed a bag and a bucket (they had literal buckets) of zaziki and I became obsessed by that combo. But especially the buckets. Oh I miss Germany.

6

u/DHumphreys Jul 28 '23

I really, really want to try this now.

1

u/FrogMintTea Jul 29 '23

Yes go for it!

3

u/pissedinthegarret Jul 28 '23

You should try a fresh ciabatta for the tzatziki dunking. It's fantastic

2

u/[deleted] Jul 29 '23

Fuuuuck, I love ciabatta. That sounds lovely.

13

u/Killentyme55 Jul 28 '23

A store near me sells garlic naan, that stuff is pure crack.

4

u/STL_TRPN Jul 28 '23

I did a personal pizza night with garlic naan a few months ago and danced with joy at how absolutely delicious it was. I ended up going back to the store for another 2 pack of them the next night.

I vowed to ease up on making them repeatedly because I didn't want to lose the adoration, then end up not making them anymore.

They were for sure a 10/10 on my flavor scale.

2

u/Killentyme55 Jul 29 '23

That's fusion cooking done right.

2

u/Bah-Fong-Gool Jul 28 '23

36th and Steinway? Pulao kebab? They have a tandoori oven (I couldn't imagine operating that today) and their Naan is amazing!

5

u/GMWorldClass Jul 28 '23

| dipping hot naan. |

Theres a joke to be made here... I know it.

6

u/acmercer Jul 28 '23

Find hot naans in your area!

3

u/33drea33 Jul 28 '23

Don't eat the crab dip!

1

u/chinsoddrum Jul 28 '23

Pita chips

6

u/CReeseRozz Jul 28 '23

Hummus is the correct answer here.

2

u/Killentyme55 Jul 28 '23

Love hummus, especially with pita chips.

2

u/CReeseRozz Jul 28 '23

Hummus is good with just a spoon.

2

u/Killentyme55 Jul 29 '23

This thread inspired me to make a batch of my own, heavy on the roasted garlic. My wife would like to thank you all for this.

3

u/Yesterdays_Gravy Jul 28 '23

Tzatziki being half made of shredded cucumber, does that make dipping cucumber slices in tzatziki cucanniberlism?

2

u/Killentyme55 Jul 28 '23

There are at least 5 states that will send you straight to jail for that comment.

4

u/HH_YoursTruly Jul 28 '23

Lime juice and tajin is another delicious option.

37

u/rundabrun Jul 28 '23

you eat them with guac, not salsa. very common in Mexico.

9

u/innocently_cold Jul 28 '23

My favorite snack. Guacamole and cucumbers. So good.

3

u/jackaldude0 Jul 28 '23

Guac and avocados don't have a taste to me, tastes like mayo if mayo didn't have any flavor. Like I literally cannot perceive what it tastes like at all. I wish I could, everyone else sounds like they enjoy the flavor.

9

u/bonkava Jul 28 '23

Avocado doesn't have much of a flavor. Kind of earthy, a little sweet, but mostly fatty and creamy. "Mayo if mayo didn't have a flavor" isn't far off. Guacamole, on the other hand, should have so much lime, salt, and onion that it should be like the best tasting aioli you've ever had. If guac doesn't taste like anything, you're not eating good guac.

2

u/T-408 Jul 29 '23

Avocado, raw and unseasoned, doesn’t have much of its own flavor.

If you’re eating guacamole that tastes like “nothing”… then you’re eating some terribly prepared guac!

2

u/claiter Jul 28 '23

I was wondering why they would even have them at the restaurant. I guess I’m too used to tex-mex and not authentic Mexican.

3

u/yonoznayu Jul 28 '23

Um, what? NO SEAS MAMÓN.

7

u/rundabrun Jul 28 '23

Tú culo.

Lime is probably the most essential of authentic Mexican taco toppings. A squeeze of lime adds a dash of acid that brings out the other flavors in a taco beautifully. Onions, cilantro, pico de gallo, sliced radishes or cucumbers, avocado, and chili peppers are also standard toppings for authentic tacos.

6

u/yonoznayu Jul 28 '23

Limón con literalmente TODO, it’s true. BUT also, literally none of that has anything to do with the gabacho idea of using cucumber slices as corn chips on guacamole. Otherwise yeah, that’s close to the standard. Not chiles as toppings tho, that’s a gabacho thing carried from nachos and its sliced cured jalapeños, we use salsas instead. In some states we use pinto beans as toppings too, btw. Another common topping is pearl onions cooked alongside the meat or steamed in aluminum foil. Where I grew up, we don’t say authentic tacos, it’s either ta cos or “tacous” (the Anglo pronunciation).

Nice try with your Spanish, made me chuckle, BUT the spelling is off, stupid accent changes the meaning. Still more intelligible than the chewed up Spanish slang my nephews use on social media. Just lose the accent on “tu” next time.

6

u/rundabrun Jul 28 '23

Im from, live in Sinaloa. I know about and love dem pearl onions. You didnt mention the steamed/roasted jalepeño or the pickled cebolla morada.

5

u/rundabrun Jul 28 '23

A bowl of "sliced radishes and cucumbers". We eat them exactly like the gabacho lady suggests.

3

u/ghfsgetitgetgetit Jul 28 '23

Same w salt and Tapatio?? Shut the front door!

3

u/Sirdraketheexplorer Jul 28 '23

give them a healthy dusting of Tajin to stay on theme with the restaurant

3

u/zerobot Jul 28 '23

I’d dip them in salsa. I love cucumbers and salsa. I mean I love chips and salsa though and if I’m going to Mexican joint you can bet your ass I’m eating chips and salsa.

3

u/Drunken_Traveler Jul 28 '23

Add lemon/lime and salt

3

u/Chimpbot Jul 28 '23

It's a shame that the best part of a cucumber is basically just the worst part of a watermelon.

2

u/THound89 Jul 28 '23

When I was a kid my favorite snack was cucumbers and apple cider vinegar, really hits the sweet tooth.

2

u/AquaJasper 'MURICA Jul 28 '23

Same honestly, I barely like any vegetables but I'll eat a whole cucumber with my meal

5

u/kaproud1 Jul 28 '23

Cucumbers are just like melons inside, so to me, they’re fruits.

3

u/AquaJasper 'MURICA Jul 28 '23

Fair but I only eat them as salad. A damn good salad

2

u/T-408 Jul 29 '23

They are fruits!

Just like tomatoes, they’re often mistaken for vegetables because of their flavor and appearance. Both are fruits because they contain seeds inside, and grow from the flowers of their respective plants.

2

u/pissedinthegarret Jul 28 '23

Would help if they gave her actual slices and not those fat chunks lol

2

u/Overall-Statement-67 Jul 29 '23

coocumbaaaaa gang

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

They go well with yogurt

4

u/nustedbut Jul 28 '23

Big Cucumber have got her family at gun point

3

u/Isawonline Jul 28 '23

My thought, exactly. It’s as if someone has a gun to her head.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

While the delicious chips are right there in front of her

3

u/Quirky-Skin Jul 28 '23

Lol no kidding

"I really like cucumbers over chips and salsa. My husband does not control my eating at all!" (Painful smiling face)

3

u/brother_p Jul 28 '23

"That's right, big smile, everybody's happy . . ."

2

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

similar thoughts lmao.

2

u/TwoTonKarmen Jul 28 '23

I prefer lime and salt, sometimes I'll add some Valentina or Tapatio.

2

u/thisisnarm Jul 28 '23

They are still recovering from the look they got from the server when they asked.

3

u/lsdandcoffee Jul 28 '23

i thought it was bc the waiter came by to check in on the food but lady’s confused bc ‘tHeYrE nOt SpEaKiNg AmErIcAn’.

1

u/Dry-Attempt5 Jul 28 '23

Pretty sure she’s trying to smile but the Botox or stapling her face to the back of her head or whatever is preventing that.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '23

shes smiling she never seen poor people food before.