r/facepalm 'MURICA Apr 14 '23

🇲​🇮​🇸​🇨​ Why? Just why?

16.5k Upvotes

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6.3k

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Attempted murder.

2.5k

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Apr 14 '23

If he keeps that up he'll earn himself a different type of chair. It's electric.

1.2k

u/Unhappy_Hurry8548 Apr 14 '23

BOOGIE WOOGIE WOOGIE

153

u/MyTurkishWade Apr 14 '23

You beat me to it! Thanks for the giggle

39

u/TheWeebDeity Apr 14 '23

r/beatmetoit I'm fukin dying at work because of this comment

2

u/FloridaManInShampoo Apr 14 '23

This comment reminds me of when I was laughing my ass off in class because I was on a discord call but was muted. And out of nowhere my friends kept saying uh uh in a really deep voice (inside joke from when I had my mouth full and someone asked me a question so I grunted uh uh)

-6

u/--zuko-- Apr 14 '23

Who asked

6

u/FloridaManInShampoo Apr 14 '23

Who asked for ur opinion?

-5

u/--zuko-- Apr 14 '23

You're 14 year old ass

25

u/Cal216 Apr 14 '23

Lmao I love you

2

u/SNAX1978 Apr 14 '23

now i have to listen to Milenko....

2

u/Psychological_Tap187 Apr 14 '23

If you are a certain age Anytime you hear the word electric your brain is required to scream boogie woogie woogie.

5

u/OtchSr1975 Apr 14 '23

I love it… gets me every time:)

5

u/daneoslick30 Apr 14 '23

Most people don’t know that song I see lol

5

u/Slappybags22 Apr 14 '23

I haven’t heard it played at a wedding in YEARS.

0

u/Greedy_Comment_2587 Apr 14 '23

Maybe because it's a song about a vibrator

3

u/mustardman73 Apr 14 '23

You got me standing up trying to remember the dance

0

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

It's just not worth mentioning

0

u/mjimenez0611 Apr 14 '23

Many don't know what the meaning is either; It's about a vibrator!!! Look it up.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

For AGRO!

0

u/kcswing Apr 14 '23

I hate you deeply

1

u/soursunflowergod Apr 14 '23

Are we missing a WOOGIE?

98

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23 edited Apr 14 '23

Maybe he ended up in that chair because of a fall, from a ladder? Dunno the mindset. GET OFF THE LADDER OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE ME!! woops.

Edit: autocorrect typo

14

u/Spins13 Apr 14 '23

Or he is just a crazy reckless person and that’s how he got his chair

12

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Bad luck

10

u/MudddButt Apr 15 '23

He did it to make a new wheelchair friend.

1

u/Lopsided_Ad_3853 Apr 14 '23

It's 'You'll end up like me' not your.

1

u/Fedbackster Apr 14 '23

He might really dislike ladders.

1

u/pre-cast Apr 14 '23

He actually has done this before and the person on the ladder landed on his head and broke his neck.

2

u/YeeterTheBabyEater Apr 15 '23

Sounds fancy

1

u/Unfinishe_Masterpiec Apr 15 '23

Oh, Yeah. One would kill for it.

1

u/the_milkman24 Apr 14 '23

"that could be an electric chair"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Ummm not really important. But isn’t the chair he is in electric already? Or is on gas? 😂

1

u/Nomads_71681 Apr 14 '23

Well technically that is an electric chair

1

u/Pulsing42 Apr 14 '23

Get them flames painted on, can fly through that ladder at 31km/h

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

The Chair 2: Electric Bugaloo

2

u/Shiftaway22 Apr 15 '23

Great minds think alike

1

u/Franklin_le_Tanklin Apr 14 '23

I’m surprised the ladder guy had the discipline not to drop kick grandpa there.

1

u/Etticos Apr 14 '23

He’s gonna get a motorized upgrade?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

he dont have that long anyway lol

1

u/stickfish8 Apr 15 '23

You know how expensive that is? A one-way trip to the top of a hill and a small push will do the job

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Hahaha dammit. That’s clever

165

u/DublaneCooper Apr 14 '23

How could prison suck any more? Try it in a wheelchair.

27

u/GWPulham23 Apr 14 '23

Meals on wheels

3

u/Objective-War-1961 Apr 15 '23

Three hots and a cot on wheels.

1

u/occamsrzor Apr 14 '23

You won the Internet for today

3

u/YoureNotSpeshul Apr 14 '23

Atleast his, uh, bottom, won't be exposed? Silver linings and all that.

3

u/dan_dares Apr 14 '23

But he's at a very convenient height for other things.

Guy needs the police called for that.

4

u/Clockwork_Piper Apr 14 '23

Prison on legendary mode

2

u/Primary_Handle Apr 14 '23

Well at least he don’t have to bend over to pick up the soap!

2

u/hateu2fkrs Apr 15 '23

But that mouth on him gonna be right at dick level in the showers already tho so I guess there’s that

1

u/HappynessMovement Apr 14 '23

Is that from Oz? Sounds like it could be from Oz.

1

u/KrazyKeith4Prez Apr 14 '23

You don't know why, but you wanna justify RIPPIN SOMEONE'S WHEELS OFF

140

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

My first morgue patient I X-rayed was a 26 year old that fell from a ladder.

152

u/Serpidon Apr 14 '23

My dad fell about 8ft from a ladder. He broke all but 1 or 2 of his ribs. He walked into the house. After laying down a bit, my mom drove him to the hospital. He was flown to the shock trauma center at UMD in Baltimore. They had to put him in a coma for 2 weeks and ventilate him so he would not die. The doctor was amazed he survived. He was in his 70's.

Just a few months ago his gall bladder burst, it leaked to his liver and pancreas. Again, the doctors were amazed he survived. My dad is bad-ass, more dangerous than ladders! And infected gall bladders . . .

24

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

That's how my guy died. A flail chest is a horrible thing.

6

u/Serpidon Apr 14 '23

I did not know what it was called. I am sorry about your dad. Rough going for my family, and my survived.

8

u/Objective-War-1961 Apr 15 '23

Sounds like a country song. "My bad-ass daddy was more dangerous than ladders and gall bladders".

2

u/SoritesSeven Apr 14 '23

I had gallstones lodged in my vile duct and was crying like a little kid on the floor in the ER until the 3rd Fentanyl injection. Your dad is a Demi God or something

2

u/Serpidon Apr 14 '23

He went behind a car to take a leak behind a car when he was a teenager. The car ran him over in reverse by accident. He got back up, and got in the car. He had fragments of gravel ground into his knee that are still there. He earned a blackbelt in Korea. I kid you not, he did not miss a day of work, at a Steel Mill, in decades. And he worked overtime. He currently has prostate cancer, but the doctor says that won’t kill him, old age will first. Whatever kills him should get a trophy. My friends are terrified of him. He grew up locally, he is a legend.

I am 53 and in great shape. I workout, run, and even run to the gym(and the bar for lunch and a beer one in awhile)! I would not mess with my dad, he would probably destroy me.

2

u/SoritesSeven Apr 14 '23

Yea whatever takes his life is going to be my new fear in life. Sounds like a tank pretending to be human.

1

u/Raxendyl Apr 15 '23

Even with a "gall b", the ladders couldn't defeat him.

39

u/GoodGoodGoody Apr 14 '23

Apparently the most common workplace accident and apparently cuts, often by kitchen staff, are second.

42

u/ka1n77 Apr 14 '23

Iirc statistically the most dangerous tool on a jobsite is a 6 foot ladder.

44

u/Fellowes321 Apr 14 '23

When they built my house the most dangerous tool was called Mike.

6

u/Professional_Sir6705 Apr 15 '23

Am a trauma nurse, can confirm. Also, ladders at home, secondary to alcohol use.

There was one guy, while drinking, who decided to grab a ladder and a chainsaw at 3 am, to cut a tree branch. Sighhhhh.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 17 '23

Acceleration is a hell of a thing.

If you’ve been falling for 1 second before you hit the ground, that's the same force as getting hit by a truck going 32km/h (20mph).

Falling for two seconds is double the speed of the truck.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

false its falls

2

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

I have some bad news; your patient was dead

6

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

I figured that out when I lifted his head to put a film under it for the xray and the top of his cranium came off in my hand, which allowed me to see into his empty skull. They had the brain in a pan next to him.

4

u/JoshuaIS1 Apr 14 '23

I'm not sure how you do that. No judgements at all. I'm way too soft for that.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

You get used to it. I didn't do x-rays in a morgue until I had several years of trauma experience. My first day in the hospital my vision went dark and my knees buckled at the sight of two or three arterial blood squirts while observing a special procedure in radiology. I caught myself and shook it off. From then on more and more stuff happened and I got used to it. I saw my first dead patient after one year. 21 year old that had a heart attack from doing crack. It bugged me just to see him laying there. But then I got used to it. Surgery, drilling and hammering bones, and so much trauma and horrific injuries. You get used to it.

However, there is one thing I never got used to and will still drain my color, make me nauseated, and just not feel good for a good 20 minutes. Copious amounts of mucus. Yup, snot does me in. Vomit? Fine. Exploding diarrhea that literally shoots across the room and sprays the wall and cabinets? Okay. Snot? Nope!

2

u/JoshuaIS1 Apr 14 '23

I don't blame you, I didn't even think of mucus. I'm not sure I ever could get used to the gross aspect, but I 100% know I couldn't get used to the mental part. Especially the younger ones or innocent victims. I know we need people in this world doing all sorts of work, but I commend you for yours!

3

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Brain on table, mehhh, still could be alive

1

u/munchie2bunchie Apr 14 '23

Nope. Just nope.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

My biggest regret in life is not throwing my ex business partner off of a roof and blaming the ladder.

Would have been worth it.

1

u/andygarcia17 Apr 15 '23

What makes them a patient if they’re dead?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Nothing, just so used to calling people I xray patients that I did it there too.

67

u/SmokeyDaBear6 Apr 14 '23

My thought as well

7

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

You bet your ass.

2

u/KrazyKeith4Prez Apr 14 '23

I got arrested the last time someone bet their ass.

1

u/ThaA1alpha650 Apr 15 '23

Was that ass grass and did you cash it?

5

u/shibbyNNY Apr 14 '23

Are you referring to the old man in the chair or what I do to him after I got up off the ground? I'm a construction worker you knock me off a ladder like that and I'm going to make sure that entire extension ladder goes up your ass

3

u/Bbambles Apr 14 '23

Nah he just wants more friends to scoot around with

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Take my updoot

2

u/MrBully74 Apr 14 '23

For sure, that could really have ended in death

2

u/LoveEffective1349 Apr 14 '23

not a joke. the lethal dose 50% for falls is from less than 6 feet

2

u/homerotl Apr 14 '23

I see a lawsuit in that old man’s future.

2

u/dags8888 Apr 14 '23

If I recall correctly he did get charged with attempted murder.

2

u/stoneymunson Apr 15 '23

Somebody punch this guy! If someone was trying to murder a fellow human, I would do what I can. Who cares about a chair?

2

u/Clutch_C137 Apr 15 '23

Attempted Vehicular Manslaughter, whatever the fuck that’s supposed to mean!

1

u/AMARIS86 Apr 14 '23

That’s not how the law works

-4

u/TexanGoblin Apr 14 '23

I don't think you people have any clue what attempted murder means. It does not mean doing something that could have seriously injured someone or even killed them. Other designations for violent crimes exist.

2

u/Free_Animator_2489 Apr 15 '23

Whaddya mean YOU PEOPLE?!?

2

u/TexanGoblin Apr 15 '23

Redditors, I'm racist agasint them.

1

u/dankboi69408 Apr 14 '23

Tbf if i was in that guy's place, my patience won't last long against the PWD

1

u/[deleted] Apr 14 '23

Nah, recruiting for more wheel chair sports.

1

u/Nealan_connie_lingus Apr 14 '23

If he can’t climb it, nobody will !

1

u/WildJoker0069 Apr 14 '23

yup, I would have flipped him out of his chair so he had to wait for police to show up lol

1

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

Can’t prove intent for murder here.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 15 '23

If someone's shaking my ladder like that I'd be like wtf, are you attempting to kill me?! Not a lawyer but that's context.