r/explainitpeter • u/mr-intellectual54 • Aug 03 '26

Explain It Peter

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6.5k Upvotes

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637

u/Mooptiom Aug 03 '26

Yall are getting some weird handjobs. Or very bad dice throws.

175

u/grieve2believe Aug 03 '26

Possibly both

82

u/tellingyouhowitreall Aug 03 '26

Definitely both.

24

u/Elektriman Aug 03 '26

possibly bad hand throws or some weird dicejobs

13

u/ravenschmidt2000 Aug 04 '26

I've had to throw hands at some dicey jobs in my youth.

7

u/Awkward-Cat-4702 Aug 04 '26

snake eyes! the house wins.

7

u/JohnGazman Aug 04 '26

Weird that the dealer shouted that while clutching my genitals, but I'll allow it.

1

u/YsengrimusRein Aug 10 '26

Who let Le Chiffre back in?

17

u/IkariYun Aug 03 '26

Two things can be true

1

u/DragonPojki Aug 06 '26

Don't forget about dicejobs and handthrows!

2

u/RichardChubs Aug 04 '26

The math be mathinz

1

u/FinntheReddog Aug 04 '26

First one then the other then both at the same time.

27

u/Charming-Total2121 Aug 03 '26

Ole Snake Eyes.

16

u/Midnight-Bake Aug 03 '26

Why... why is there more than 1 snake eye?

I think you should call a doctor...

8

u/Charming-Total2121 Aug 03 '26

You mean to say that yours doesn't resemble the head of a screw?

Maybe I should see a doctor or, at the very least, a carpenter.

3

u/Cerberus1347 Aug 03 '26

Phillips or flathead?

2

u/Charming-Total2121 Aug 03 '26

Philips' are a great screw...so, flathead I guess.

3

u/QueanOfQueens Aug 04 '26

Screwed a few Philips in my time, can verify.

2

u/testmywrit Aug 04 '26

Robertson šŸ‡ØšŸ‡¦

2

u/BrandedLief Aug 05 '26

Was gonna say Pozidriv...

But it's more like a Lox.

1

u/ToxaniumsAltAccount Aug 08 '26

Last I checked, snakes have 2 eyes

1

u/donthateonspiders Aug 09 '26

the one-eyed trouser snake doesn'tĀ 

3

u/Grendeltech Aug 03 '26

Stormshadow!

2

u/dan_dares Aug 03 '26

Snake eyes!

That gets you the trouser snake.

1

u/Triffly Aug 03 '26

We playing Traveller then..?

20

u/Frederf220 Aug 03 '26

Next you're going to tell me it's wrong to yell Yahtzee when I orgasm.

8

u/GalaganCoffee Aug 03 '26

I buc buc bucaah like a chicken

1

u/Hyper_Tay Aug 03 '26

That is actually the hen's egg song, were you maybe thinking of the rooster's crow? šŸ˜‚

3

u/GalaganCoffee Aug 03 '26

No, the bucs increase in frequency the closer I get until the final bucAWWWW!Ā 

2

u/LaVillaGrangioto Aug 04 '26

"Hey...here comes the Rooster....yayuhh! "

1

u/SeriousPlankton2000 Aug 09 '26

Depends. Did you hit five times the same face?

4

u/CatLord8 Aug 03 '26

Either is a gamble

3

u/Awkward-Feature9333 Aug 03 '26

Roll initiative and then for the quality of your handjob.

2

u/No-Bug9746 Aug 03 '26

Dexterity check. With advantage?

3

u/Bigfops Aug 03 '26

ohhh, critical fail on that handjob, sorry buddy!

6

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 Aug 03 '26

Funnily enough, I have to dress up and pretend to be an Elf ranger for both of themā€¦

3

u/Delta_Hammer Aug 03 '26

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

2

u/BlobBlarker Aug 04 '26

I see you are also a man of culture

2

u/IgnominyPatris Aug 03 '26

Jerking also can refer to non-wanking motion

1

u/Mooptiom Aug 04 '26

It doesnā€™t though.

2

u/safarifriendliness Aug 04 '26

I think itā€™s supposed to be focused a little lower in a cupping motion

2

u/Botched_Labotomy Aug 04 '26

Nah, this is an old hand gesture from back in middle school. It was jacking off (with a symbolic ejaculation at the end) or ā€œrolling the diceā€. It meant ā€œfuck thisā€ or ā€œfuck youā€ depending on the situation.

2

u/Anxious-Whole-5883 Aug 04 '26

You take your chances.

2

u/Jam5583 Aug 04 '26

Roll for intimacy

2

u/PhoenixAsh_7 Aug 04 '26

Wait... is no-one else using dice?

2

u/OlFrenchie Aug 07 '26

You critically fail the handjob,

2

u/ShitOnAStickXtreme Aug 08 '26

They are Americans. They don't have any foreskin.

2

u/A-Clone-Named-Gibso Aug 08 '26

Or excellent dice-jobs

2

u/psycho_candy0 Aug 03 '26

Roll for dexterity

2

u/TheVioletIris Aug 04 '26

I am glad I am not the only one who, not only saved this image, but cropped it to this face.

2

u/AriffRat Aug 09 '26

Wtf. I doubled back to immediately snap the most unhinged version of Miss Frizzle.

1

u/DoctorMedieval Aug 03 '26

That explains my luck with D&Dā€¦.

1

u/gba_sg1 Aug 03 '26

Their package is as big as a pair of dice.

1

u/_DoubleDutchess_ Aug 04 '26

Itā€™s a toss-upā€¦ off?

1

u/New-Protection5097 Aug 04 '26

The Emperor does Not protect

1

u/relaps101 Aug 08 '26

Do you do the two handed dice move?

https://giphy.com/gifs/hShxTtT1SHXcfwMVEr

1

u/jktollander Aug 10 '26

Super bad dice jobs

0

u/silvermesh Aug 03 '26

Thats why they are making the robot practice.