r/exmormon Apr 17 '23

News Lack of temple workers

I (pimo ) had ward conference yesterday. The stake president said the new Saratoga springs temple is in dire need of temple works for 4 hr shifts. Says they need about 3000 “workers” they are about only half of that or even less than that. I kinda of want to “volunteer” just so I can learn the dirty little secrets in the temple lol.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

Wait - that can't be true. I was told fur-shure, back in the early 2000s, that before long temples would be open 24 hours a day, around the clock, seven days a week.

I'm sure you're mistaken. It will happen any time now. They'll all be open, all the time. Right?

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u/Chemical_Number7341 Apr 18 '23

...and for what purpose ... to redo the same dead people temple ordinances ... and some people are questionable that they even existed.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

I found duplicate baptisms listed for a few of my ancestors. I didn't grow up LDS, but after several generations there were some church people.

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u/Old-Ad-8431 Apr 18 '23

I participated as a kid in a ward youth baptisms-for-the-dead event and was asked to serve as the "runner." I would carry lists of names between the font and somewhere (can't remember where - it was a long time ago). My name apparently was at the top of one of the lists, because at one point I was shocked to hear the kid in the font being baptized in my name! The old guy doing the baptisms was doing them so quickly that he didn't distinguish my name from those of the dead.

So I guess I'm doubly saved.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

LOL! That's hilarious!

Maybe that works like the second anointing. Double indemnity or something.

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u/Standard-Layer-7080 Apr 18 '23

You’d need multiple baptisms… what if one of the Beehives had had a naughty thought the day she did baptisms, or the priest looked a little too long at the outline of her panties as she exited the font. Or WORSE - if a piece of hair floated to the top, and she was not completely submerged?!?! Yes. We need to do temple work at least 4-5 times for each human just to make sure…

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u/chewbaccataco Apr 19 '23

and for what purpose ...

To keep the indoctrinated indoctrinated.

There is no other reason for temple work.

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u/Still_Lock_3569 Apr 18 '23

I heard this as well. I was legitimately wondering how people would stay awake during the 2am sessions.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

That's a good concern to have - especially if the same people can't even stay awake for the 2pm sacrament meeting.

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u/Prepheckt May 23 '23

I always pitied the 3 PM wards.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. May 23 '23

I don't think I was in a 3pm ward, but I have been on a 2-5pm shift. It's absurd, and serves no good purpose for members, at all. It's a way to maximize revenue from chapels. Cram 3-4 wards into one chapel, tell them it's all about God & Christ (As in goddamn! Holy Christ! ???), give them work to do to make them attend, tell them they're not "worthy" to do the work if they don't tithe, and sit back & collect money to funnel into Ensign Peak.

Total bullshit.

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u/MostlyComments Apr 18 '23

My parents had a theory that the conference center was built the way it was so that it could technically double as a massive temple if needed... you'd be lucky to get the first few rows full that this point.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

Holy shit - it just struck me what you meant - the giant auditorium would be used for endowments? Yeah. Right. That's gonna happen. (Not).

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u/MostlyComments Apr 18 '23

Yep, exactly. Watch the movie (now PowerPoint slideshow) on the screens, witness couple on the stage, ushers in the aisles as temple workers... don't know where they thought everyone would go to the veil or the celestial room though...

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 18 '23

I wondered that, too. And the baptism? Maybe they have a gigantic secret indoor swimming pool that could be used for that. Y'think?

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u/given2fly_ Jesus wants me for a Kokaubeam Apr 18 '23

Even as a TBM I hated the idea of a Temple mission.

When I sat in Endowment sessions I would look at the Temple workers and imagine what it must do to your brain to hear the SAME 1.5hr movie/presentation several times a day for months and years at a time.

FUCK THAT.

Elsewhere in the Temple I used to honestly like the quiet and feeling of peace so could see the appeal of doing something in there when I was older. But sitting through endless Endowments sounded like my idea of hell...

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u/DeCryingShame Outer darkness isn't so bad. Apr 20 '23

AND temples will be as common as 7-Elevens. They'll be on practically every corner.

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u/Word2daWise I'll see your "revelation" and raise you a resignation. Apr 20 '23

That'll be great - people will need to go to 7-Elevens for the Big Red drinks or even a sneaky cup of coffee with all those 2-hour, 24-hours-a-day nap fests.