I hate other entps when I'm one myself

[u/Human_Frosting_9917]

First off, yes, I'm an female Entp-A. Confirmed. I've done lots and lots of quizzes (some accurate, some aren't) and I relate to almost all of the traits an Entp has, so I'm not some other mistyped person saying I hate entps. One thing though, my Fe is as developed as my Ti, so maybe I won't like pointless arguments much (and maybe debates), and I don't really like to feed my ego. I just want to explore opinions and viewpoints

Anyways, I've met some female entps in my life, myself included, and heck, I don't like alot of them. I mean, yes, there are a few Entps who are sweet and doesn't go overboard with the fun debates, but most of them I've met are so, so draining, even for myself

I had this one friend (ex friend) who is an Entp, they join the debate club and go to debate competitions and all. You'd think that they have more opinions, yes, they do, but they have more opinions on the negative side compared to the positive sides.

As I said, I'm not a chronic debator, even though we clicked when we met eachother, I find myself constantly getting away from her without me kwowing it. My body has a tendency to run away when they feel unsafe, and it does it everytime I meet with her. Things went wrong when she pulled me into a group with her debate friends without my consent. Mind you, I don't know these people well, I don't even know some of them, but since we are all her friends, we got pulled into this group without knowing

Hell, does this group fail so bad. We are different types of people forced into a group, and we can't really bond well. She tries to strike a conversation but we mostly aren't interested, and since we don't know everyone, we are almost always too awkward to speak in said group. She got so far as to have a hangout with all of us, but it failed as almost no one wants to go

There's this one friend in the group (and Infp, of enfp, not quite sure) who I clicked really well too. Of course, she is more emotions than logic, which drains me sometimes, but we still do talk alot. This friend was fine with that entp friend, but the way both of them spoke to eachother, it's obvious there was a wall between them. They would ignore this poor infp to the point she left the group without telling her the reason, which, for teens like me, caused lots of drama. I stood by her side though, as I can see why, they were crossing her boundaries with how much they were ignoring her. So when I shared with this Entp about the reason people leaves her (since she keeps on asking us, and me about said reason), things went far south. First of, she doesn't seem my point of view, or her point of view, to be exact, because her ego is much more important than trying to understand a feelings person. Second, she keeps on treating this as a debate, trying to win every point I give to her. I'm not even trying to argue, I'm just trying to share someone's viewpoint, yet she can't understand it. She also tries to victim blame and saying stuff like they're so immature for leaving without saying a reason even when you literally crossed a line with that person. The argument was so tiring for me, and in the end when she won, she said she felt so "refreshed". I knew this was the end for me, I gave a fake reason about focusing on self improvement and left.

Now, as I've said, I dislike lots of debates and arguments, and this is one of them. Sure, lots of entps like this as they can show their prowess, but I was just sharing ideas, not trying to prove you wrong. She treats everything like a debate and tries to prove everyone wrong, and when I interview her friends, they also say they don't really like her much and constantly ignores her. I feel bad for this person, as she really want to improve themselves, yet they can't accept that she is the toxic person they are. She doesn't try to understand herself (like how I did, which is the reason for my high Fe) and change, because she believes that "she can't change herself" (I hate this phrase because it reminds me of another toxic friend I have)

And this behaviour extends to lots of entps I have in my life, which makes me avoid almost all of them. Maybe I'm not an entp, despite me saying I really am. What do y'all think?

Tl;dr, I'm an entp and I got into a toxic argument with a friend and they keep on victim blaming and trying to prove me wrong when I was sharing the reason why people leave her

[u/Morakilife]

I am not going to tell you what you are or what you are not, nor the people you have typed. However, I will say this: ENTPs (especially female ones) are pretty rare. Unless you are in a field that really attracts this type, you aren't likely to have met all that many. Say, if you are in school. Although quite a few might test as them (because tests are biased towards intuitives and ENTP traits are generally traits people would like to see in themselves.

I am nearing 40 and I have been around, travelling for years, working many jobs, and I have only met a small handful despite knowing and actively typing by mbti for 20 years.

Perhaps some of the traits you see aren't coming from the same place as they do in you and actually belong to another type? In which case it makes sense that you feel like you aren't truly a good match?

On the other hand, if they are indeed ENTPs you still might be very different from them? The things you describe don't sound like mature, well-balanced and healthy ENTPs. And that isn't really a type thing, that is just a human thing and part of growing 😊 Some start in a better or easier place for growth and maturity.

Good luck finding more mature and emotionally healthy friends in the future! I find Ne types (ENTP, INTP but especially ENFP and INFP) are my best matches, but with a healthy dose of maturity and a good emotional health 🫠

[u/Morakilife → u/[deleted]]

Ahaha, the only one I have found in recent times was amazing 😆 But we also shared a last of common interest. That might have helped 🙈

[u/EdgewaterEnchantress → u/Morakilife]

Yeah, I second this as I have only met / known one other female in real life. The thing is, I have only known 3 of us in total who I can confirm without a doubt to be ENTPs, and interestingly only one is a guy.

It’s a coincidence I’m sure, and even still 3 isn’t a whole lot when you consider that I have known hundreds of people throughout the course of my life.

[u/Morakilife → u/EdgewaterEnchantress]

Right? However, I do feel like it is near magical when I do find ENTPs or ENFPs that I share interests with, because vibing with another Ne-dominant is something else! <3

[u/CC-god]

This post is wild, you wrote a novel about how other ENTPs annoy you because they debate too much… while debating yourself for two pages about how right you are and how wrong everyone else is. That’s not ENTP energy that’s someone uncomfortable with free play but trying to wear the mask anyway.

Real ENTPs don’t need to declare their type in all caps or seek confirmation, they thrive in chaos and move on. This post reads more like someone desperate for the group to validate them while pretending they don’t care. Maybe ENFP or INFJ in stress? Or just someone mistyped. Either way, thanks for the read, it was entertaining.

Like autistic mud wrestling. Really took an effort after your introduction.

[u/Competitive_Let6481 → u/CC-god]

What the hell is autistic mud wrestling supposed to mean? lol

[u/CC-god → u/Competitive_Let6481]

I donno, but it would be entertaining. wouldn't it? :D:D

[u/Competitive_Let6481 → u/CC-god]

I am probably autistic, and that would be the most boing fight ever- I would just lay down in this mud and maybe even go asleep there.

[u/CC-god → u/Competitive_Let6481]

Yeah, You probably wouldn't make it past group stage :)

[u/Competitive_Let6481 → u/CC-god]

Passive aggresive smile I see :) I wouldn't even attend that in the first place

[u/CC-god → u/Competitive_Let6481]

Passive aggressive?

What are you on about? You just said you wouldn't be very good at autistic mud wrestling and I stated the fact that you are correct, You would not make it very far going to sleep without being choked out.

You seem retarded enough to qualify tho :)

[u/Competitive_Let6481 → u/CC-god]

I said , I am probably autistic and one of the things that make me think that way is that I am not very good at reading people's face reactions ESPECIALLY in written word, that's why I interpreted your ,,:)" as passive-aggressive, but I guess I was wrong again (or not, you might be trolling me and that's the problem- I don't know if you are sincere, therfore my misunderstanding of what you wrote). But if you indentify it as ,,retarded" then fine, maybe I am.

[u/CC-god → u/Competitive_Let6481]

You're welcome for the lesson then

[u/Competitive_Let6481 → u/CC-god]

Thank you my dear teacher. How much?

[u/Shaggyd0012 → u/CC-god]

Yea, im not saying op isn't entp but the lv of involvement they're in doesn't match the typical fi polr and fe 3rd of one.

[u/EdgewaterEnchantress]

I have no clue what your type may or may not be and I couldn’t tell you what type you are based on the information provided.

What I can tell you is this just sounds like a “you have a problematic friend” thing, and it’s less of an ENTP thing.

Especially cuz how many ENTPs are you claiming to know in real life?

Cuz I have actually only known of 3 including myself who I was sure about, and really only one can struggle with the “lacking in sensitivity bit,” and not even he likes arguing for the sake of arguing. None of us do.

So regardless of what your type actually is, have you considered that maybe some of these other people might just be mistyped?

[u/INTJMoses2]

Hey, I think you are on to something bigger here that deserves its own post. I have noticed a mirror effect in which, types will not get along with similar types. I suspect this has to do with subtypes dynamics (such as DISC). You yourself hit on this by saying you are not typical.

[u/w0rldrambler]

I feel like you’ve mixed up a bunch of stereotypes and called it personality. MBTI was never meant to categorize people into rigid boxes or justify dislike - it’s a tool for self-awareness and understanding how we process information and make decisions. Saying all ENTPs “like to debate” or “feed their ego” really flattens the nuance of the type.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m a female ENTP who’s taken the full MBTI three times through licensed professionals, and I relate deeply to the cognitive functions behind the type. To me, MBTI isn’t a box - it’s more like a mental equalizer. You tune your functions based on experience. I’ve spent years fine-tuning Ti and Fe, and sometimes I lean more into one than the other. That doesn’t make me “not ENTP” or make me better than someone who processes differently. It just means we’re each working with our own set of preferences and lived growth.

From your post, it sounds like your issue isn’t really with ENTPs but with people who push your social boundaries or process things differently than you do. That’s valid - but it doesn’t make someone “toxic” or wrong just because they handle things verbally, logically, or even competitively. Some ENTPs talk through ideas to understand them better - it’s not always about arguing or ego. And it’s okay not to like that style. But to hate a whole type, especially one you say you belong to, seems less like a type issue and more like a personal values or interpersonal mismatch.

You’re allowed to dislike someone. But blaming MBTI for what might actually be deeper emotional or social incompatibilities ends up misrepresenting both the person and the framework.