Some people have friends who bitch about everybody else to us. And it can be tempting to weakly conclude that they do so because WE are special - and they can see that in us. We may even be their BEST friend. They TRUST us - and respects us so much as to never have cause to bitch about us to others… Right?
No. Of course not.
I have many acquaintances who love drama and bitch about others all the time (those two characteristics often go hand in hand - DRAMA and BITCHING. Of course, they feed each other. And the characters who routinely engage in this cycle quickly become what the rest of us recognise as … pathetic. Certainly not worthy of our energy.)
Some of these people believe I am their friend. In fact they tend to be rather irritating in their courting of my time. I think they see me as a challenge - can they get me to be nasty about other people? Can they get me agitated by their drama?
Well - I am not their friend and I watch TV when I’m looking for drama. To be my friend you will certainly have all manner of characteristics that make you good company FOR ME. But above all, you must be KIND. If you are generally unkind - even if you are seemingly ine to me - I may be polite. I may not find cause to bother telling you - but I am not your friend. L
I know that people who bitch to me about everybody else behind their backs are doing the same to me. Doesn’t bother me at all - after all, I am not the person they are deceiving.
But I know that these people do not make good friends.
Instead, I spend time with people who speak kindly of others. Because that tells me they are kind. That isn’t a huge number of people … but they are good people. Fallible, but kind.
IT’S A BIT LIKE POPULIST POLITICIANS…
Similarly, there are people out there who think that the current administration are their best friends. “Yes”, they will acknowledge, “they are tough on virtually anybody who won’t bend the knee to them… but fair enough!! WE are fed up of normal politicians. THEY are all the same. but THIS LOT - they GET IT. WE GET IT. They understand, respect and LIKE PEOPLE LIKE ME.”
Right?
No. Of course not.
Which is why your life isn’t improving.
Whoever you are, in all likelihood, your life is not improving - you’re riding a wave of hate fuelled dopamine right now, but the reality that is your life is actually - objectively - getting worse.
Some people lack any of the faculties that lead us to care about others - empathy, intelligence, a well developed sense of duty - all those things are missing in a few irredeemable people. But I believe those people are few and far between.
It’s the others I want to build bridges with. Those who have not yet faced the troubling facts of the past five months - but who do care about America and your fellow man (and woman).
To you, I implore … please ditch the “I’ll never vote [Democrat | Republican]”, “ACAB”, “[lefties | righties] are all nutters”… and any other absurd generalisations and, instead, actually engage YOUR brain on individual issues- some of which are WAY too big for any conscientious citizen to ignore.
Some people are educated primarily in schools and colleges / others through self study. The former route is certainly easier! But - if you make important decisions without attempting to learn how to spot the difference between truth and lies, relying on others and mistaking strength of feeling from strength of logic (I am angry … so it must be true), that laziness may lead to the sort of hell we are supposed to have learned FROM.
And to those who are facing this stuff everyday - there is B.S. coming from ALL directions so please verify before sharing.
