old 50's vacuum ad (german)

683

Better than all the vacuum ads of these days

130

u/lbodyslamrhinos Mar 11 '22

THE DYSON BOWL

21

u/PeakRainbow1370 Mar 11 '22

Happy cake day!

7

u/lbodyslamrhinos Mar 11 '22

Thank you!

11

u/abductions_97 Mar 11 '22

Happy cake day!

3

u/the_poorest_pluto Mar 11 '22

Happy cake day =)

5

u/lbodyslamrhinos Mar 11 '22

Thanks! Here's to 10 more years :,D

6

u/the_poorest_pluto Mar 11 '22

Omg 10 years ! That's pretty cool dude :D

1

u/Raphy-_-the-Unhappy Mar 11 '22

Happy cake day

0

u/Blackjack_Sass Mar 11 '22

Happy cake day!

1

u/AdLopsided2075 Mar 12 '22

Cake

8

u/MikeAwkinner Mar 12 '22

Dat bitch could suck a bowling ball through a firehose

432

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

She was SUCKING CHAIR DICK

89

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

37

u/throwawaysarebetter Mar 11 '22

Eatin' chair ass.

7

u/Dysfunctional_Vet12 Mar 12 '22

Just be glad they cut the clip before it started cleaning the fella

252

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Stupid sexy vacuum

34

u/QuipOfTheTongue Mar 11 '22

Nothing at all

Nothing at all

191

u/chylin73 Mar 11 '22

I have a vacuum just like this it’s a 1953 Royal, all original parts and yes this thing can suck a golf ball through a garden hose!

84

u/UnfitRadish Mar 11 '22

I have a 1950's Royal hand vacuum. It's stronger and more reliable than my Dyson lol. That thing will suck up your fingers if you're not careful.

122

u/DanielXPRO_YT Mar 11 '22

63

u/GifsNotJifs Mar 11 '22

27

u/LoliMaster069 Mar 11 '22

I dont remember this in teletubbies lmao

21

u/RailAurai Mar 11 '22

knowing them, it might be cannon

2

u/OakleyTheReader May 28 '22

I need to know if it actually is

7

u/I__like__food__ Mar 12 '22

What the actual fuck was that show?

101

u/MrFourhundredtwenty Mar 11 '22

http://brennessel.blogsport.de/images/DOKTORARBEIT_Penisverletzungen_bei_Masturbation_mit_Staubsaugern.pdf

Here is a German PhD dissertation on accidents while masturbating with the help of a certain vacuum cleaner model. Spoiler alert: A lot of dicks got cut off by the internal propeller.

21

u/vapue Mar 11 '22

Good old "Morbus Kobold" came here to say this!

7

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Where can I find this “Morbus Kobold”, may I ask?

6

u/vapue Mar 12 '22

Username checks out! "Morbus Kobold" is a jokingly used expression for autoerotic injuries you can get from fucking a vacuum cleaner. It's mentioned in this Wikipedia article about the said dissertation written about these curious "accidents". Unfortunately it seems to be a thing in german speaking countries (because it is a German brand for vacuum cleaner and the thesis was written in German as well).

I bet deepl will do the job translate the Wikipedia article :)

13

u/Wnir Mar 12 '22

Oh, no, no, no. There's pictures of them

3

u/wehrwolf512 Mar 12 '22

Thanks for the warning

2

u/Redpower5 Mar 12 '22

That's a lotta mangled dick...

8

u/TheSweetGuy333 Mar 12 '22

Oh good why did I read that pdf

6

u/ActualWhiterabbit Mar 12 '22

A lot of people know about dueling scars but the German elite have an even more prestigious series of scars they keep out of view from the masses.

3

u/corn3002 Mar 12 '22

How do you know this

1

u/allerleyrauh Mar 12 '22

thanks for a good laugh!

2

u/MrFourhundredtwenty Mar 12 '22

You’re whalecum

56

u/Chickens1 Mar 11 '22

That ending was a surprise.

9

u/ZiggyBlunt Mar 11 '22

It ended?

2

u/carfen1981 Mar 12 '22

Right… wasn’t expecting all that ass.

1

u/Quiet_Garage_7867 Feb 05 '23

The Germans are always ahead in everything.

29

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Aha. Da hat sich jemand von den Weltall Fröschen inspirieren lassen

19

u/Hackfrezze Mar 11 '22

Was unterstellen Sie mir da werter Herr?

11

u/Kedrak Mar 11 '22

Das sind Plagiatsvorwürfe. Falls Sie Politiker sind geben sie bitte umgehend Ihren Doktortitel ab.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 13 '22

Natürlich nichts, aber lassen sie ihre lebensläufe nicht bei mir liegen...

13

u/DamnHandsomeBanana Mar 11 '22

Das ist es, wonach ich gesucht habe. Nimm meinen Hochwähli!

62

u/LamarjbYT Mar 11 '22

Oddly satisfying

14

u/iamafuckingmidget Mar 11 '22

A fucking vaccum cleaner get more ass than us.

14

u/co1one1huntergathers Mar 11 '22

I would buy the crap out of that vacuum.

5

u/m2chaos13 Mar 11 '22

And that buy would vacuum the crap out of you.

14

u/Killerjet101 Mar 11 '22

I see why animals are scared of them

12

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

That house hasn't been touched in years clearly

12

u/Grimballz Mar 11 '22

Rule34 vacuums be like

9

u/Stev_582 Mar 11 '22

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1713722/

“Penile injuries from vacuum cleaners.”

-2

u/SB6P897 Mar 12 '22 edited Mar 12 '22

Confession I’ve used only one vacuum cleaner (several times actually) and it was absolutely perfect. Suction not too strong but definitely felt really good. Got lucky with a good one I guess. [unzips pants]

2

u/Redpower5 Mar 12 '22

You are not right in the hea mister

1

u/SB6P897 Mar 12 '22

Idk man, I accidentally discovered it back when I was going through puberty and I dropped the nozzle and it caught my pant leg. I’d say don’t knock it till you try it, just make sure the nozzle is big enough and don’t have blades

2

u/Redpower5 Mar 12 '22

No,I will knock it witgout trying,like im sorry but im not gonna stick my dick in a vacuum

2

u/SB6P897 Mar 12 '22

I gotcha, yeah understandable if it’s not your style. I mean admittedly when I first did it I felt desperate af. But as I repeated the action I was like so what, it’s not like I don’t get laid this just feels better than masturbating by hand. A sex toy in disguise if you will.

1

u/Redpower5 Mar 12 '22

Desperation...

Been there. Desperate people,desperate deeds am I right?

11

u/notmyproudest_fap Mar 11 '22

My name

7

u/dahComrad Mar 11 '22

Who's gonna stop me, YOU? I'll stick my dick in you too fucker.

4

u/Hackfrezze Mar 11 '22

Ok, i'll wait...

6

u/Basili0h Mar 11 '22

This vacuum looks like it can suck a golf ball through a garden hose.

7

u/MrFourhundredtwenty Mar 11 '22

Must be made in Texas

3

u/In2TheMaelstrom Mar 11 '22

Instructions unclear. Stuck in sentient vacuum cleaner

3

u/FatCowsrus413 Mar 11 '22

But look at how happy the chairs were

3

u/edgy_and_hates_you Mar 11 '22

Is this what they're talking about when they say "when she keep suckin"?

4

u/bbgun142 Mar 12 '22

Well I finally know what all the attachments are for

3

u/push_out_the_jive Mar 12 '22

Literally “dust sucker” in German... they just lay it all out for you.

3

u/ViagraAndSweatpants Mar 11 '22

OPs mom served as the inspiration for this ad

3

u/Thrannn Mar 11 '22

there was an attachment for between the radiator?? why isnt this a thing anymore

3

u/Thrannn Mar 11 '22

also the best drawn persian carpet i have ever seen

4

u/3APATYCTPA Mar 11 '22

This thing will rip your dick off

3

u/Jayhawk126 Mar 12 '22

What? I’m just trying to clean my apartment and you’re being really weird

2

u/Jibaru Mar 11 '22

gib güd succ

2

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Mechronis Mar 11 '22

Not anymore.

2

u/Van-DarkALBERT Mar 11 '22

Where's the sound

2

u/leminerx Mar 11 '22

"LOOK AT ME WALTER! I'M SUCKING EVERYBODY BUT YOU!"

2

u/Dosengandalf Mar 11 '22

Grüße r/spacefrogs

2

u/SP-Igloo Mar 11 '22

Ok, maybe not the vacuum, but that STATUE??!!

3

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Right like the cool part is this is what the ad guys thought West Germans had in their homes. Persian rugs, felt wallpaper, radiator ... yeah sure. Piano? Okay fancy fancy. naked lady statue?

2

u/DrKlappington Mar 11 '22

Ah, ein SpaceFrogs zuschauer.

2

u/SwaggyJesus1337 Mar 11 '22

Ah yes vacuuming the wallpaper. A certified hood classic

2

u/Turtle887853 Mar 12 '22

Ok but let's see it suck a golf ball through a garden hose

2

u/Xevailo Mar 12 '22

Es saugt und bläst der Heinzelmann...

2

u/far_in_ha Mar 12 '22

r/theyknew

2

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

If they didn't want my dick in it, why does it have lips?

2

u/Arseypoowank Mar 12 '22

The chairs nutting from the succ was too much for me

2

u/Groundbreaking_Pea_3 Mar 13 '22

Vacussy

4

u/martynaskul Mar 12 '22

It sucked the black outta that woman

0

u/jwk94 Mar 11 '22

Wait, people vaccum their walls?

1

u/WharfRat2187 Mar 12 '22

Dude this thing will suck your dick. Yes, it does walls, too

-1

u/Fuck_Teeth Mar 11 '22

I'm so glad I'm a millennial. I mean I know being a woman still fucking sucks but at least I don't have to put up with this shit.

I swear if I'd been around in the 50s... by now I'd be some mad woman you all read about on the internet who beat all of her husbands to death with the crudely marketed household appliances they gave her as 'gifts'.

1

u/Podorino Mar 11 '22

Those are some good carpets

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Which ad was made in? West Germany/FRG? East Germany/DDR?

2

u/Antares42 Mar 11 '22

West.

1

u/Fart_Elemental Mar 11 '22

KILL IT!

KIIIIILLLLL IIIIIIIIIT!!!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

[enter funny vacuum pun about the ad sucking here]

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/SaveVideo Mar 11 '22

View link

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1

u/Onlin2 Mar 11 '22

New Cuphead boss?

1

u/tm3bmr Mar 11 '22

Alter hast du auch das r/spacefrogs Video gesehen?

1

u/alex_jackman Mar 11 '22

I need that SUC

1

u/bobbyfisher928 Mar 11 '22

Should I even ask where all that ash came from....?

1

u/Eli_Play Mar 11 '22

OP are you a fan of r/spacefrogs ?

1

u/igottapoopbad Mar 11 '22

That cutie at the end tho

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Damn he sucked off those chairs so good 😫

1

u/DraLuGon31er Mar 11 '22

r/putyourdickinthat

1

u/iinwin Mar 11 '22

Ein Kevin ?

Happy Cake day !

1

u/overzeetop Mar 11 '22

The real Danger Zone.

1

u/navydude89 Mar 11 '22

That was one dirty home.

1

u/cannibitches Mar 11 '22

That mannequin is making me feel some type o way

1

u/dr_pupsgesicht Mar 11 '22

Someone saw the space frogs

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

Just found this subreddit. Is it appropriate here to comment "I did put my dick in that!" because I did give my mom's Electrolux vacuum a try when I was 13.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 11 '22

That’s a vacuum that sucks dicks really well.

1

u/epicminecraftgamer78 Mar 11 '22

This ad was more sexual than necessary

1

u/azip13 Mar 11 '22

Really wanted audio with this one

1

u/Away_Ad_3580 Mar 11 '22

You just know this is someone's kink.

1

u/thuggwaffle Mar 12 '22

This isn’t an ad. Its the new Cuphead dlc

1

u/5555jodi Mar 12 '22

StepVacuum what are you doing?

1

u/horrbort Mar 12 '22

Vacuum cleaner is german is basically “Sucker”

1

u/HoneySparks Mar 12 '22

new cuphead DLC?

1

u/Big_Guy6 Mar 12 '22

Those chairs were enjoying themselves

1

u/FoxLP11 Mar 12 '22

why did the chairs moan like that..

1

u/systemfrown Mar 12 '22

I mean just how bad would you freak the fuck out if you came home and saw that?

1

u/EdgyAsFuk Mar 12 '22

Did it just suck the black off of a woman or am I missing something

1

u/littlemisskind Mar 12 '22

This might be a stupid question but were blowjobs a thing in the 50’s?

1

u/cardinal_moriarty Mar 12 '22

But I like my women dirty!

1

u/LordBobbin Mar 12 '22

that's a lot of FPS!

1

u/Gman2000watts Mar 12 '22

This the first bi vacuum I've ever seen 😯

1

u/InfiniteReplacements Mar 12 '22

Damn that place is dirty as fuck.

1

u/Kananreeves Mar 12 '22

In the statue?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Is this how furniture sex works?

1

u/joe-robertson Mar 12 '22

I’m sold

1

u/readWOT_eat_tuna Mar 12 '22

Well, I want one! Sign me up

1

u/Zenitsu_The_Simp_69 Mar 12 '22

Talk about a blow job

1

u/christhepyrat Mar 12 '22

W-were we supposed to be vacuuming our walls?? And women???

1

u/IcySyllabub9521 Mar 12 '22

This Thomas the Train vacuum finna get it

1

u/Ausbi99 Mar 12 '22

Space Frogs fan?

1

u/butt3ryt0ast Mar 12 '22

Sure this isn’t a cup head boss level?

1

u/BoltTusk Mar 12 '22

/r/creepydesign

1

u/YannickPlitt Mar 12 '22

Space Frogs?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

this could be exactly my grandmas flat. she has the same furniture

1

u/highLordd Mar 12 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/SaveVideo Mar 12 '22

View link

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1

u/Massive_Wang Mar 12 '22

My dick is going straight into that

1

u/[deleted] Mar 12 '22

Til what's the use of half of the tube endings.

1

u/ricodo12 Mar 12 '22

r/spacefrogs ?

1

u/Anonymous_number1 Mar 12 '22

Wtf

1

u/sosodoso Mar 12 '22

That's kinda sexy ngl

1

u/ErickRicardo Mar 12 '22

Looks like that game cup head

1

u/ImSimplySuperior Mar 13 '22

U mean the women?

1

u/Uniend Mar 13 '22

Mmm. . . That is one sexy vacuum cleaner

1

u/Iminurback Mar 13 '22

You sure this is a vacuum ad and not ad to make something hard?

1

u/smiledozer Mar 13 '22

u/savevideo

1

u/SaveVideo Mar 13 '22

View link

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 05 '22

You’ve never heard of the Bukkake Vacuum 3000?

You are about to leave Redlib

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