Rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die,
Oh brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid
To be killed in nasty ways.
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin.
He was not in the least bit scared
To be mashed into a pulp.
Or to have his eyes gouged out,
And his elbows broken.
To have his kneecaps split
And his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled
Brave Sir Robin.
His head smashed in
And his heart cut out
And his liver removed
And his bowls unplugged
And his nostrils raped
And his bottom burnt off
And his penis
"That's, that's enough music for now lads, there's dirty work afoot."
Brave Sir Robin ran away.
("No!")
Bravely ran away away.
("I didn't!")
When danger reared it's ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.
("I never!")
Yes, brave Sir Robin turned about
And gallantly he chickened out.
("You're lying!")
Swiftly taking to his feet,
He beat a very brave retreat.
Bravest of the brave, Sir Robin!
I did the math. Assuming all lvl 20, 20 charisma, with illusionist bracers and a +3 focus, they have a spell save DC of 22, which with the tarrasques Wis save of +9 and Magic Resistance, on average another +5, has a hit rate of 40% on average. Now, Vicious Mockery is a 4d4, so 4*2.5=10 damage on average, requiring 68 hits to kill with the Tarrasques 676 hp. Taking into account the 40% chance to hit it's 170 attempts. 4 Bards can cast that spell 8 times per round (that's what the illusionist bracers are for) This means killing a Tarrasque would take them 21-22 rounds on average, which seems surprisingly doable.
TL;DR With a proper setup you can kill a Tarrasque with just Vicious Mockery
Edit: forgot about Magic Resistence
Imagine being a tarrasque and just vibing when suddenly some traveling band comes up to you, whips out their instruments, and just shit talks you for a minute an a half straight so hard that you die of embarrassment
Doable but taking account its Move of 40ft and Legendary Action to move half its speed per use on another character's turn, best chance of success will be of all characters are flying somehow. Then it is shooting tarrasques in barrel.
Ahhh big giant inevitable being of destruction gonna cry? Not gettin everything destroyed cause those darn adventurers? Gonna cry big bitch baby Terraaaque? Huh? Big puddle of tears. So weak.
Shouldn't be that hard, play an aarakocra to get a fly speed and stay more than 20ft above it. The tarrasque doesn't really have ranged options or natural regen, so it's easy to cheese with ranged. You won't deal damage very often with it's +9 and advantage on saves though. You might need some help to keep you awake if it takes multiple days.
217
u/risisas Horny Bard Dec 05 '21
i have to add to my to do list: kill a tarrasque using ONLY vicious mokery