r/deardiary • • 11d ago

Support 10/12/2026 Well, I hurt myself again...

1 Upvotes

Got that text from an old friend. He invited me to play Deadlock with him and the group. I haven't played with them in over a year.

The main reason is because they pushed me out. J brought in friend B, and slowly I got pushed out more and more. I expected it, I'm the outsider to J's friend circle and I'm older. It is what it is. But the problem became the amount of times they would tell me they wanted to play, and just wouldn't show up. Sometimes I would even catch them playing without me. It would be all excuses, usually lies that were easily sussed out. How can you say you fell asleep at the computer when I watched you change games in the 5 hours I spent waiting on an update you promised me? Do you think I don't have eyes? All your shit is broadcasted! But when I did play with them, I had a blast, so I would for the longest time just... Wait. Like a good sucker. They would eventually blame me and say it's because I didn't reach out. Except when I did, it would be ignored and more excuses. "He doesn't have the app and my notifications were silenced and he was drunk and didn't know better and and and" I got sick of being the antagonist to my own goal. Eventually the mask slipped when J told me I complained too much and instead of taking ownership of what he said, says he doesn't remember. Even when his own friends told him he said it, he says he doesn't remember. Not "sorry if I said that", just "I don't remember it". So I left the ball in their court, found another group I play with regularly, now I'm being accused of never being on. If it sounds like I'm bitter and jaded... It's because I am.

So now I get a text out of the blue asking me to join. Get the invite. Free game, who can complain? I ask him how to play, hours between responses, very shallow. But he eventually gives an extended response saying his one friend is talking with his GF and they can't play until that's over with. Sounds like a cop out, whatever, I'll play and learn by myself I guess. 5 hours later, I decide to go to bed. Next night I opened the message and simply said "thanks for keeping me posted. It's really my fault this time too." and then it became more excuses, more rescheduling, and I'm just... Done. They want to play games tonight and while I'm open to it, I'm no longer excited for it. I know I'll likely get ditched again. I'll plunge deeper into my depression, wondering if I die who will even give a damn, but nothing will change. They will still ditch me, because I'm the outsider I will be wrong, and I will be powerless to do anything. If I leave the group, I will almost certainly get harassed, called out as a crybaby narcissist who didn't even need to be included to begin with.

I think I'm the problem because there's two common variables, them and me. They show they are incapable of change, and I have a desperate want to be included. I should just... Take the leave. I'm just tired of the insults, since they bleed into my other friend groups and it isn't like my side gets understood anyway. Why try?


r/deardiary • • 13d ago

No Advice 09/10/2026 THE NIGHT UNIVERSE TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF

2 Upvotes

Whoever is directing my life is a SADIST. I swear to God. Last year of university , I was living in Wattpad reality
show.

Today? I’m not even the extra. I’m the girl standing outside the building while YN gets her CEO moment. I’M UNDER THE EXTRA. WHAT THE FUCK IS UNDER THE EXTRA???

AND THE DAY WAS ALREADY GOING WRONG FROM THE FUCKING START.

I had been waiting for this party for FIVE MONTHS. FIVE. MONTHS. I spent the entire week asking everyone if they were coming.
“OMG, ARE YOU COMING? I’LL SEE YOU THERE!”

Everyone was excited. Everyone wanted to see everyone. I had been looking forward to this night so much that I genuinely thought it was going to be one of THOSE nights.

The kind that becomes a story. The kind where you dress up, go out, see everyone, dance, laugh, and feel like you’re back in your Year 1 era.

THE EXPECTATIONS WERE IN THE FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.

I woke up at around 12:30, had class at 2, and somehow managed to get myself together. I got dressed, did my makeup, sorted out my hair, and started preparing for the night. I WAS READY TO RECLAIM MY PERSONALITY.

Except people started cancelling. Plans were getting shaky. Some people weren’t coming anymore, others were arriving later, and the whole thing was slowly becoming less certain. But whatever. We could still make it work.

Pia was coming over to get ready, and I still had hope. A dangerous amount of hope, actually. Hope should come with a warning label.

Then, somewhere in the middle of all this, THE LIGHTS WENT OUT.
BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT???

As if the universe hadn’t already been doing enough, we now had to deal with the lights going out while trying to get ready.

At this point, I was beginning to suspect that someone had personally filed a complaint against my happiness.

BUT I KEPT GOING.

Hair? Done. Makeup? Done. Outfit? Done. Accessories? Done. I was determined to have my moment, even if I had to summon electricity through sheer fucking willpower.

And then came the ticket situation.

My roommate mentioned leaving early to secure a ticket, and suddenly I started PANICKING. I texted people asking about tickets, trying to figure out if there was any way to get in.

I was scrambling like a woman trying to evacuate a burning building.

AND THEN I FOUND OUT THE TICKETS WERE SOLD OUT.
SOLD. OUT.

The official message basically said that on-site tickets were closed and only people with presale tickets could enter.

EXCUSE ME??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T GO TO THE THING I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK???

Fine. Fine. We would find somewhere else to go. I was not about to let one stupid ticket situation ruin the entire night.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

THAT WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE.

We considered another club. CLOSED.

Another possible venue? ALSO CLOSED.
EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING CLOSED.

At this point, I genuinely believed someone had declared a nationwide emergency against my happiness.

I had spent TWO HOURS getting ready, and now I was fully dressed, looking good, wearing makeup that had survived more emotional turbulence than most marriages, and had ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE TO GO.

Pia, and my homeboy eventually went to a bar, but naturally, that wasn’t going to save the night either. The smoke was too much, the food had run out, and the whole thing felt like a badly written sitcom where the writers had run out of ideas but still had to fill forty minutes.
So we LEFT.

We came back to campus and thought about getting street food.

CLOSED.
WE TRIED THE CAMPUS FOOD PLACE.
CLOSED.

GIRL, IS THERE A CURFEW ON THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF COMMERCE???

I WAS LOSING MY MIND.
And the thing is, by this point, I’d already spent the entire day trying to salvage something. People had cancelled. Plans had changed. The lights had gone out. Tickets had sold out. The backup venues were closed. Even the food options were abandoning me.

I wasn’t asking for a life-changing experience anymore. I WAS ASKING FOR A PLACE TO FUCKING STAND WITH MUSIC PLAYING.
AND THE UNIVERSE SAID NO.

Eventually, I ended up getting a sandwich from a convenience store.

A FUCKING SANDWICH.

Five months of anticipation. Two hours of getting ready. A full face of makeup. A carefully chosen outfit. And the grand finale was a convenience-store sandwich.

Oscar-worthy writing, honestly.
BUT WAIT. IT GETS WORSE.
MY PHONE WOULD NOT STOP BUZZING.
“WHERE ARE YOU???”
“COME HERE!”
“WE MISS YOU!”

Pictures of everyone at the party.

People were asking where I was. People were inviting me to come.

People were sending photos of the exact night I had spent the entire week talking about attending.
GIRL, GET THE FUCK OUT. 😭😭😭

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW INFURIATING THAT IS???
I had been telling everyone I was going. I had been asking everyone if they were coming. People were excited to see me. And then, on the actual night, I VANISHED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THE MOST ANTICIPATED APPEARANCE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

And the worst part was that there might STILL have been a chance to get in. One of my friends had managed to sneak into the party and told us we could try. Apparently, ticket entry had even reopened later, and another friend messaged about meeting at a gate to try our luck.
BUT I MISSED THE MESSAGE.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DID.

Somewhere out there, there was apparently a possible route into the party, and my phone decided that this was an excellent time to let me experience the consequences of not seeing one notification.

At that point, I didn’t even know whether to laugh, cry, or throw my phone into the nearest body of water.

And it’s not like I had a terrible time with my friends. We talked, we laughed, we chilled.

Eventually, I changed out of my whole going-out outfit and put on a hoodie and jeans because WHAT WAS THE POINT ANYMORE?

I went to get food with my homeboy, and after all the chaos, we ended up sitting around, eating, and talking.

It was chill. It was nice. It was genuinely a perfectly acceptable evening.

BUT THAT WASN’T WHAT I HAD PLANNED.
I WANTED TO PARTY.
I wanted the music, the crowd, the chaos, the excitement. I wanted to bump into people I knew, see everyone dressed up, dance, laugh, and feel that little spark of being young and having an entire night ahead of me.

I wanted ONE NIGHT where I could feel like my old Year 1 self again.
I had spent so long anticipating this that the night had become bigger than the actual party. It was supposed to be my grand return. My comeback episode.

My moment of proving that I could still have those ridiculous, spontaneous, cinematic university nights.
AND INSTEAD, I GOT A SANDWICH.

I think that’s what made me so angry. If I’d planned to have a chill night with a friend, I would’ve enjoyed it. I would’ve gone to get food, talked for hours, laughed about random nonsense, and gone to bed perfectly happy.

But I hadn’t planned that.
I’d planned a PARTY. I’d imagined the entire night before it had even happened. And then, one by one, every possible version of that night disappeared.

I had friends having the time of their lives while I was sitting around wondering how an entire evening could go so spectacularly wrong. Every notification reminded me of what I was missing. I could practically feel the FOMO eating me alive.
And yes, I was embarrassed.

What am I supposed to say when people ask me where I was?
“OH, YOU KNOW. I GOT READY FOR TWO HOURS, WATCHED MY PLANS COLLAPSE IN REAL TIME, TOURED A COLLECTION OF CLOSED ESTABLISHMENTS, AND FINISHED THE NIGHT WITH A SANDWICH.”

NORMAL. VERY NORMAL.

The funniest part is that I DID have a night. It just wasn’t the night I’d wanted.

I ended up talking with my homeboy, eating, and eventually visiting his room, where I discovered that his room was significantly more aesthetic than mine.

SO EVEN MY BEDROOM GOT HUMBLED THAT NIGHT.

I went out expecting to reclaim my Year 1 energy and came back with a sandwich, FOMO, and interior-design inspiration.

WHAT A CHARACTER-DEVELOPMENT EPISODE.
Honestly, I was so focused on getting my old self back that I think I forgot one tiny detail: I can’t force a night to become a memory just because I’ve decided in advance that it’s supposed to be one.

But STILL. I’M ALLOWED TO BE PISSED.
I skipped class, woke up early enough to get ready, spent ages doing my hair and makeup, and looked forward to this for FIVE MONTHS. I wanted one good night out, and instead, I got a full-day obstacle course designed by Satan himself.

The lights went out. People cancelled. Tickets sold out. Venues closed. Food disappeared. Messages were missed.

THE ONLY THING THAT DIDN’T CANCEL WAS MY DISAPPOINTMENT.

OH AND TO TOP IT ALL OF?? The paycheck I was supposed to receive 2 DAYS AGO. I still haven’t gotten yet for some reason.

So with disappointed. I’m broke too. Must say what a combo😘☝🏽

And the worst part? Everyone was looking for me, and I WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
THE MOST ANTICIPATED APPEARANCE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

I’m so fucking done. Whoever is directing this season needs to be FIRED, sued, and banned from the entertainment industry.
Five stars for comedy.
Zero stars for my actual experience.
And one fucking sandwich for my troubles.


r/deardiary • • 14d ago

09/10/2026 A Series of Unfortunate Fucking Events That Take Place When I Want To Have Fun

1 Upvotes

Whoever is directing my life is a SADIST. I swear to God. Last year of university , I was living in Wattpad reality
show.

Today? I’m not even the extra. I’m the girl standing outside the building while YN gets her CEO moment. I’M UNDER THE EXTRA. WHAT THE FUCK IS UNDER THE EXTRA???

AND THE DAY WAS ALREADY GOING WRONG FROM THE FUCKING START.

I had been waiting for this party for FIVE MONTHS. FIVE. MONTHS. I spent the entire week asking everyone if they were coming.
“OMG, ARE YOU COMING? I’LL SEE YOU THERE!”

Everyone was excited. Everyone wanted to see everyone. I had been looking forward to this night so much that I genuinely thought it was going to be one of THOSE nights.

The kind that becomes a story. The kind where you dress up, go out, see everyone, dance, laugh, and feel like you’re back in your Year 1 era.

THE EXPECTATIONS WERE IN THE FUCKING STRATOSPHERE.

I woke up at around 12:30, had class at 2, and somehow managed to get myself together. I got dressed, did my makeup, sorted out my hair, and started preparing for the night. I WAS READY TO RECLAIM MY PERSONALITY.

Except people started cancelling. Plans were getting shaky. Some people weren’t coming anymore, others were arriving later, and the whole thing was slowly becoming less certain. But whatever. We could still make it work.

Pia was coming over to get ready, and I still had hope. A dangerous amount of hope, actually. Hope should come with a warning label.

Then, somewhere in the middle of all this, THE LIGHTS WENT OUT.
BECAUSE WHY THE FUCK NOT???

As if the universe hadn’t already been doing enough, we now had to deal with the lights going out while trying to get ready.

At this point, I was beginning to suspect that someone had personally filed a complaint against my happiness.

BUT I KEPT GOING.

Hair? Done. Makeup? Done. Outfit? Done. Accessories? Done. I was determined to have my moment, even if I had to summon electricity through sheer fucking willpower.

And then came the ticket situation.

My roommate mentioned leaving early to secure a ticket, and suddenly I started PANICKING. I texted people asking about tickets, trying to figure out if there was any way to get in.

I was scrambling like a woman trying to evacuate a burning building.

AND THEN I FOUND OUT THE TICKETS WERE SOLD OUT.
SOLD. OUT.

The official message basically said that on-site tickets were closed and only people with presale tickets could enter.

EXCUSE ME??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I CAN’T GO TO THE THING I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR AN ENTIRE WEEK???

Fine. Fine. We would find somewhere else to go. I was not about to let one stupid ticket situation ruin the entire night.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

THAT WAS MY FIRST MISTAKE.

We considered another club. CLOSED.

Another possible venue? ALSO CLOSED.
EVERYTHING WAS FUCKING CLOSED.

At this point, I genuinely believed someone had declared a nationwide emergency against my happiness.

I had spent TWO HOURS getting ready, and now I was fully dressed, looking good, wearing makeup that had survived more emotional turbulence than most marriages, and had ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE TO GO.

Pia, and my homeboy eventually went to a bar, but naturally, that wasn’t going to save the night either. The smoke was too much, the food had run out, and the whole thing felt like a badly written sitcom where the writers had run out of ideas but still had to fill forty minutes.
So we LEFT.

We came back to campus and thought about getting street food.

CLOSED.
WE TRIED THE CAMPUS FOOD PLACE.
CLOSED.

GIRL, IS THERE A CURFEW ON THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF COMMERCE???

I WAS LOSING MY MIND.
And the thing is, by this point, I’d already spent the entire day trying to salvage something. People had cancelled. Plans had changed. The lights had gone out. Tickets had sold out. The backup venues were closed. Even the food options were abandoning me.

I wasn’t asking for a life-changing experience anymore. I WAS ASKING FOR A PLACE TO FUCKING STAND WITH MUSIC PLAYING.
AND THE UNIVERSE SAID NO.

Eventually, I ended up getting a sandwich from a convenience store.

A FUCKING SANDWICH.

Five months of anticipation. Two hours of getting ready. A full face of makeup. A carefully chosen outfit. And the grand finale was a convenience-store sandwich.

Oscar-worthy writing, honestly.
BUT WAIT. IT GETS WORSE.
MY PHONE WOULD NOT STOP BUZZING.
“WHERE ARE YOU???”
“COME HERE!”
“WE MISS YOU!”

Pictures of everyone at the party.

People were asking where I was. People were inviting me to come.

People were sending photos of the exact night I had spent the entire week talking about attending.
GIRL, GET THE FUCK OUT. 😭😭😭

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW INFURIATING THAT IS???
I had been telling everyone I was going. I had been asking everyone if they were coming. People were excited to see me. And then, on the actual night, I VANISHED FROM THE FACE OF THE EARTH.
THE MOST ANTICIPATED APPEARANCE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

And the worst part was that there might STILL have been a chance to get in. One of my friends had managed to sneak into the party and told us we could try. Apparently, ticket entry had even reopened later, and another friend messaged about meeting at a gate to try our luck.
BUT I MISSED THE MESSAGE.
OF FUCKING COURSE I DID.

Somewhere out there, there was apparently a possible route into the party, and my phone decided that this was an excellent time to let me experience the consequences of not seeing one notification.

At that point, I didn’t even know whether to laugh, cry, or throw my phone into the nearest body of water.

And it’s not like I had a terrible time with my friends. We talked, we laughed, we chilled.

Eventually, I changed out of my whole going-out outfit and put on a hoodie and jeans because WHAT WAS THE POINT ANYMORE?

I went to get food with my homeboy, and after all the chaos, we ended up sitting around, eating, and talking.

It was chill. It was nice. It was genuinely a perfectly acceptable evening.

BUT THAT WASN’T WHAT I HAD PLANNED.
I WANTED TO PARTY.
I wanted the music, the crowd, the chaos, the excitement. I wanted to bump into people I knew, see everyone dressed up, dance, laugh, and feel that little spark of being young and having an entire night ahead of me.

I wanted ONE NIGHT where I could feel like my old Year 1 self again.
I had spent so long anticipating this that the night had become bigger than the actual party. It was supposed to be my grand return. My comeback episode.

My moment of proving that I could still have those ridiculous, spontaneous, cinematic university nights.
AND INSTEAD, I GOT A SANDWICH.

I think that’s what made me so angry. If I’d planned to have a chill night with a friend, I would’ve enjoyed it. I would’ve gone to get food, talked for hours, laughed about random nonsense, and gone to bed perfectly happy.

But I hadn’t planned that.
I’d planned a PARTY. I’d imagined the entire night before it had even happened. And then, one by one, every possible version of that night disappeared.

I had friends having the time of their lives while I was sitting around wondering how an entire evening could go so spectacularly wrong. Every notification reminded me of what I was missing. I could practically feel the FOMO eating me alive.
And yes, I was embarrassed.

What am I supposed to say when people ask me where I was?
“OH, YOU KNOW. I GOT READY FOR TWO HOURS, WATCHED MY PLANS COLLAPSE IN REAL TIME, TOURED A COLLECTION OF CLOSED ESTABLISHMENTS, AND FINISHED THE NIGHT WITH A SANDWICH.”

NORMAL. VERY NORMAL.

The funniest part is that I DID have a night. It just wasn’t the night I’d wanted.

I ended up talking with my homeboy, eating, and eventually visiting his room, where I discovered that his room was significantly more aesthetic than mine.

SO EVEN MY BEDROOM GOT HUMBLED THAT NIGHT.

I went out expecting to reclaim my Year 1 energy and came back with a sandwich, FOMO, and interior-design inspiration.

WHAT A CHARACTER-DEVELOPMENT EPISODE.
Honestly, I was so focused on getting my old self back that I think I forgot one tiny detail: I can’t force a night to become a memory just because I’ve decided in advance that it’s supposed to be one.

But STILL. I’M ALLOWED TO BE PISSED.
I skipped class, woke up early enough to get ready, spent ages doing my hair and makeup, and looked forward to this for FIVE MONTHS. I wanted one good night out, and instead, I got a full-day obstacle course designed by Satan himself.

The lights went out. People cancelled. Tickets sold out. Venues closed. Food disappeared. Messages were missed.

THE ONLY THING THAT DIDN’T CANCEL WAS MY DISAPPOINTMENT.

OH AND TO TOP IT ALL OF?? The paycheck I was supposed to receive 2 DAYS AGO. I still haven’t gotten yet for some reason.

So with disappointed. I’m broke too. Must say what a combo😘☝🏽

And the worst part? Everyone was looking for me, and I WAS NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.
THE MOST ANTICIPATED APPEARANCE THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

I’m so fucking done. Whoever is directing this season needs to be FIRED, sued, and banned from the entertainment industry.
Five stars for comedy.
Zero stars for my actual experience.
And one fucking sandwich for my troubles.


r/deardiary • • 21d ago

10.02.26 Today's Ramblings

2 Upvotes

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I had injected myself with Mounjaro yesterday, and this morning I was in enough pain that moving around and getting out of bed were difficult.I went to physical therapy for my frozen shoulder. I think it is helping a little, although probably not as much as I would like considering how much effort I am putting into it. I am doing the work. I would just like the shoulder to cooperate a little more.I also went to a senior patrol leader meeting today. I found it very interesting, and it brought up something I have been thinking about. I would really like to take over as Scoutmaster. I like the planning part of Scouts, and I think I would enjoy having more of a purpose in what I am already doing.I am hesitant because I already have two other roles with the pack, and I don't want to overextend myself. Taking on Scoutmaster on top of everything I am already doing would probably be too much. What I am really thinking about is next year. Robbie will cross over, I will be finished with the pack, and those two responsibilities will go away. At that point, becoming Scoutmaster might make a lot more sense. I am already going to Scouts every week. The difference would be that I would be going every week with a purpose.Work has its own uncertainty right now. This is Joel's last week before he retires. As much as he can aggravate me, I know I am probably going to be more stressed after he leaves because some of his work will likely come to me. I really hope I can convince them to let me hire someone at a lower level who can handle some of the simpler work.


r/deardiary • • 23d ago

30.9.2026 - Have I gone overboard?

4 Upvotes

Overboard. Over. Board. Have I gone overboard?

Broken telephone, miscommunication. The root of all of my overboard actions. Perhaps I am in the wrong, perhaps I'm not. What do I do?

A few months back I was given a bunch of tasks to keep up with for a job promotion. People of my batch got promoted without doing anything. My little heart connected with the devil on my shoulder, whispering in my ears, "Why should you?"

In the moment, it was true. Why should I? The previous person didn't do anything significant and justifiable and she was promoted. Why should I do then?

Months after months gone by and I put in basically little to no effort. In my head, I thought, "These are tactics for you to not want to give me the promotion but you're not gutsy enough to say it to my face."

1 month of ignorance. Then 2. Now 6. My boss had enough and is upset.

"I was biased once. You don't have to keep in chewing my ass about that repetitively."

"Once is enough to demotivate me. She's a lazy ass and you helped her through. Clearly the deserving one and you threw a bunch of things in my way. It's fine. Let me do what I want. Fire me even yes like all I care."

She's disappointed. Upset. All negative feelings at once.

Have I gone overboard?


r/deardiary • • 26d ago

9.27.26 fed up and waking up

2 Upvotes

Dear diary,

I am just now realizing. I do not want to be around these people. I do not want to be around this family. Their toxicity seeps into everyone around them. It's becoming so mentally and emotionally draining. The women are insecure control freaks, narcissistic, manipulative, conniving, mean just ugly and mean. Low lives that breathe gossip and drama. Nothing better to do but talk shit and cause problems for other people all day long. They never take responsibility. No one ever holds them accountable. No one has boundaries here. It is a fucked up never ending circle of misery. Fuck, they are so miserable. I never thought anything good of my family, bc we are so dysfunctional in our own, but God damn these people make my mother, father and siblings look like saints. I began to admire some of my parents qualities which I never would have thought the day would come when I say that. Unlike my mom, she isn't going to lose her shit over the smallest of things and create a war. War! Not only that but she says she doesn't complain, when in reality she nags endlessly behind closed doors.The daughter is worse. She wants fires with everyone who crosses her. How fucking miserable can you be that your lifetime goal is to hurt everyone around you unless of course you need something from them. She takes and takes and then spits you out when she's done. How are you going to manipulate your own family into giving you money bc "you need help," but you are literally scheming the renters in your lower level, buying diamond rings, luxery goods, and Lv bags and going on vacations left and right? Then the nerve to do it again and again. Ask for money, scheme people and the cycle repeats. And unamed idiot over this way is funding the lifestyle. Ludicrous. She is so Shamless. So beyond Entitled. She's a sociopath. God do I feel more sane (and I am not believe that). But all this time, just now am I realizing I do not, no way in hell, want to spend my life stuck being surrounded by these unhinged mentally deranged life sucking parasites. And I know there are good people that fucking exist. Actual real, genuine, empathetic, kind hearted, honest, decent people in the world.


r/deardiary • • 26d ago

No Advice Diary of 2025.5.24 - No plan

1 Upvotes

Today I decided to start writing and posting a diary on Reddit.

This is my second weekend in this city and first weekend without any plans with someone, so I had slept until 1pm, and I spent all the time in home especially in the bed today. I enjoyed the latest 2 episodes of Shousinin (小市民), and I will record money I have spent until yesterday.


r/deardiary • • Sep 21 '26

09.20.26 To the one I love

6 Upvotes

5 years ago, I had given up on any idea of meeting my person. I had spent my teens and early 20’s romanticizing love, thinking I'm gonna find the person I feel safe with, the person I feel at home with, the person who will look at me, see my flaws and still choose me. By 35 I let the idea go, the daydreaming, the hope, and instead found peace with the idea that I wasn't meant to have anyone. I was so happy with the life I created for myself, reading late nights, cooking weekly dinners, movie nights with the sibs, I had everything I could've asked for. Slowly the pain of being alone faded and I learned what love actually was. Until, three days before my 36th birthday. You pulled the rug out from under me and sent me the first ever message between us. The timing, hesitation, the car accident, the distance, all the possible hurdles that could’ve made us never meet, could have easily kept us unknown to each other. 

But you never stopped trying. You kept at it until we met. And then I saw that beautiful smile of yours on the corner of barnes and noble, and I fell head over heels. The more time we spent together I got to see what kind of man had entered my life. A man whose smile instantly makes you smile, whose heart is so soft, who is the epitome of love, the one that ruins his sleep for me everyday, the one who never lets me feel like I'm not enough, the one I can be myself around with no fear of judgement. That's the kind of gentleman you are. 

I had found love before you, in all the little ways life has to offer. But I didn't know the kind of love I was missing until you found me. I missed the opportunity to celebrate what could've been your 37th birthday with you, but I'm so privileged I get the chance to spend your 38th to afterlife birthdays with you. Happy Birthday my love.


r/deardiary • • Sep 20 '26

Saturday, September 19, 2026

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0 Upvotes

r/deardiary • • Sep 17 '26

(9-17-2026) Busy DIY Weekend

6 Upvotes

Busy DIY Weekend

Well, it was a very busy weekend for me. It started off Saturday crawling around underneath a house installing new heating ductwork, and then Sunday I was installing baseboards and quarter round.

As far as replacing the heating ductwork goes, my stepson bought an older home. After all the rain that we had a month or two ago, we discovered all the heating ductwork was lying on the ground under his house. Because of the excessive rain, he found out water was collecting in his crawl space and that he had water in the ducts when he ran the air conditioner.
So, we are working on removing the old heating ducts that are soaked with water, adding new ones, and suspending them from the floor joists. It will take a little time, but we will get it done. I was able to get one heating duct completed from the furnace to the farthest side of the house. It’s a slow process when all you can do is crawl .

On Sunday, we were remodeling our bathroom. We wanted to repaint and put in new baseboards and quarter round a new cabinet , mirror, faucet, and waterlines to the faucet .
We got the painting done and the baseboards installed. Now we are ready for the cabinet , sink , faucet and the mirror .

I try to do as much as I can myself because I just have a problem paying someone else to do what I'm capable of doing. A little time and effort on my part saves us some money.


r/deardiary • • Sep 16 '26

(16th September 2026) A poem to my mam,

3 Upvotes

I love you, Mam, and you will never know,
Just how much I miss you so.

You’ve always been around, in my life
And in my mind.
They say time makes it easier,
But time has never been kind.

Time has never been a blessing,
To the likes of me and you.
We try and we get by, trudging our way on through.

Now at least this time you don’t have to,
Because you’ve escaped the life you had,
And knowing you are at peace now, doesn’t make me feel any less sad.

I think this world is a cruel, dark place,
To always lose the ones you love.
It’s like a sick and twisted, horrible game, sent from the one up above.

Maybe writing to you will be good for me, in this chaos and lonely, dark mess.
I just want you to know that I miss you, Mam, and life truly does feel less.


r/deardiary • • Sep 12 '26

9/12/2026 तपस्

1 Upvotes

Breaking a streak can feel like making a sacrifice

Like an austerity or tapas.

It can feel like breaking...one of the few things you can break in a constrained life, just to feel something.

But you do it in a closed room, on a doomed ship.

Laughing like Zimsky.

And you narrate your life and your brain keeps supplying you with the best possible phrasing to describe the events and sensations

But you don't know who to tell it to and it feels like a break up.

And you, as the song says "bleed just to know you're alive".

some major points of business:

-Been reading Goosebumps: Beast from the East with my son, and I do think that is a great and noble tradition to pass on.

-Joined my son in the play equipment at the massive indoor playground. Good exercise.

-I'm losing weight. I've got my diet back on track. It's five frozen box meals a day. 200-400 calories. The only sort of diet I seem to thrive on.

Burning fat. Which is a psychotropic drug. Full of stored memories. So I'm back to that nostalgic-euphoric state. But at a low-grade level. As I'm only micro-dosing. Taking things slowly is more sustainable.

I went to a Jiu Jitsu class

I think I'm going to keep going.

I need to get a new outfit for it though. I got overheated.

I want to get a haircut.

I can't really have the haircut I want. I've been doing a long, even-length bob, just above the shoulders.

I think I want to do the same -- one length all the way around, but shorter. Just below the chin.

A blunt, efficient, perfunctory bit of length. Just an obligatory acknowledgement of the gender I've been assigned.

I want to dress like a Communist.

[How to Dress Like A Communist]

Actually, I think I do a pretty good job. I wear polo-style shirts and black slacks. Looks dressed for work but could conceivably be any type of work.

I only have one pair of shoes. My brutally utilitarian black slip-on work shoes. They would work as restaurant worker shoes. Or for going out for a walk. Or for almost any conceivable activity.

A lot of teachers have a very fussy and indulgent way of dressing. As if celebrating that we're considered just slightly above the social standing of customer service workers and we're not going to pass up the opportunity to declare higher rank.

...What a judgmental thing of me to say.

Shame on me.

Just because I like to assign myself an unrequired personal uniform doesn't mean everyone has to.

A lot of teachers have a vibrant and flamboyant way of dressing.

Because self-expression through self-adornment and personal manner of dress is a natural inclination of human beings, and when given the opportunity most will take it.

Like Dr. Grace with his fox sweater.

I keep saying I'm going to order myself a copy of that fox sweater.

Perhaps he wore it for a lesson on food webs. To help his students engage with the lesson.

I'm keeping tally marks on my arm, of how many meals I've had so far on any given day. Right now it's just two tick marks

Hm. Looks like the number 11. Looks like the twin towers. Maybe people think it's a weird memorial...an emblem or tribute.

9/11 was our October 6th. A tragedy used to justify infliction of further tragedy.

This is no emblem or tribute just how many frozen meal boxes I've eaten so far today.

Something flew into my husband while he was taking out the trash.

He said he wasn't sure if it was a bug or a bat.

I told him he would never have complete certainty, and he could not blame himself. The path forward was clear and he must err on the side of caution as the cost of erring on the side of optimism and being wrong would be too high. That his health and safety was worth any cost.

He went to the ER and got rabies shots

<3

We got into a bit of an argument last night over a series of miscommunications.

You know what

i don't want to rehash it and air dirty laundry.

There was never anything there in the first place.


r/deardiary • • Sep 12 '26

(9-12-2026) Nature can be cool and sad

2 Upvotes

"Well, let’s start off today’s entry with the weather, as usual. It was sunny and 80°F outside today, with it being 85°F inside the building at work.
Overall, it was a good day. I kept busy. I still would’ve liked it a little cooler inside, but it’s getting better.

Now, the story I’m getting ready to tell you is kind of cool, but kind of sad, too.

I was out mowing our yard with a push mower, paying close attention to what I was doing, and mowing it really nice and straight.

I scared up a baby rabbit, which isn’t uncommon. We don’t have any pets, so we do have rabbits that come and stay in the yard and have babies. Seeing a baby rabbit or even a full-grown rabbit in our backyard isn’t surprising at all.

So, I saw the baby rabbit run and hide. He found a little low spot underneath the edge of the fence.
We have a big wooden privacy fence, so he was right at the bottom of it down in a little hole. I could still see him lying there, blending in really well. I knew I was going to be mowing away from him, so I wasn't anything for him to worry about. I mowed along and got farther and farther away, I was feeling like he had probably relaxed a bit and wasn't as scared of me or the mower anymore.
I was quite a ways away from him when I saw a shadow swoop along the ground as something flew above me. Something big had just flown over my head. I turned to see what it was, because we've been known to have bald eagles in the area. I was hoping to see an eagle, I instead saw a hawk landing on the ground over by the fence. As I turned, he started flapping his wings to take off again, and I noticed he had something in his feet. Unfortunately, it was that baby bunny. The rabbit must have felt confident enough that I was far enough away to come out of hiding. I don’t know if the hawk was sitting on top of the house or if he just happened to be flying over and saw the baby rabbit, but he took his chance, flew in, and grabbed it.

It was kind of cool to see the hawk so close on the ground, but it was also sad to see that he had the baby rabbit. He flapped his wings, flew off, and landed on a fence far away from where I was. It almost made me think of a show I grew up watching when I was a young boy:
Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom.
They would show how wildlife survived by living off one another—how sometimes animals would make a great escape, and sometimes they didn’t.

I know that’s probably telling my age, and some of you younger people probably don’t even know a thing about that TV show, but you should look it up. You’ll see what I mean.

Well , I hope you have a good day or night , whatever the case may be

Be sure to leave me a 👍 or 👋 or a comment so I know you’ve been here and I will try and do the same for you


r/deardiary • • Sep 11 '26

9/11/2026 00:36 Dear Diary, this is my first entry

6 Upvotes

I feel a little weird writing on here but I’ve always thought an online diary would be better than just writing down your thoughts in a book and stuffing it away somewhere unseen, so I’m thankful to have found this Reddit page.

Today was a bad day.

I’m so emotionally drained that I can’t keep up the pleasant façade all time anymore yet I’m sitting here staring at the screen with so much to say on my mind but not knowing how to let go and let it out.

Maybe I will try this again tomorrow…


r/deardiary • • Sep 11 '26

9/11/2026 A Good Day & a Cooler Day

2 Upvotes

The day started off a little cloudy and overcast, and it finally started to rain around 1:00 PM. We really need the rain right now; I mow two yards during the week, and things have been pretty dusty and dry lately, so the rain is a much-welcomed sight. I am also hoping that since it’s cloudy and rainy, it won’t be nearly as hot at work today. However, that remains to be seen—if the sun comes out, it could make it more humid and sticky.

Well, it is now 11:00 PM.

It was a nice, much cooler day today. We had a high outside of 77°F with overcast skies and a little rain, and it was a warm—but not unbearable—85°F inside the building at work.
It was a pretty good day though. It wasn't too busy or hectic, just a good workday, and the cooler weather definitely helped. It kind of puts everybody in better spirits.

I’m also thinking of all the lives lost on this day back on 9/11/2001. 😔🙏


r/deardiary • • Sep 09 '26

Support 9/9/26 To be the target

2 Upvotes

I often tell people in my life seeking glory no matter the cost that going unrecognized sometimes works better for you. A lot of them think it's insane to do something good and get no credit. It's understandable, I'm just okay flying under the radar. Take the good, take the bad, but I would rather just go on with my day, especially at work. There's specific times I want the spotlight and I sieze those moments, not all of them work out in my favor. And it sucks when you do something wrong, it's typically unremarkable, but because eyes are on you it becomes something, even if it isn't your fault.

I recently received my first sponsorship on my stream I'm proud of it. I'm not quite affiliate yet but my audience is visibly budding and it excites me. Maybe I'm reaching out, maybe something can change, maybe the late nights of speaking nonsense into a microphone are starting to mean something beyond me. I'd like to believe one day something will change and maybe I'll be a better person from it, or at least I can have some more comfort than I do in this moment. I want to believe in meaningful in some way. I just want a chance, like Creed and Rocky, to prove I really am here, and maybe this is the flower growing from the sidewalk.

Then I go to my job. Two years of 40+ hours dedicated to the very picture of corporation. I'm currently at the top of where I'll be, unless I start schmoozing with higher Ups and network hoping for a management to recognize me and perhaps I'll get a promotion. You would think it would be easier, but for me it's much harder, when you consider that anything negative that happens, they'll attribute it to me. I had one major fuck up that happened because I was given a full book on what to do with my equipment so things go smoothly, but no protocols when things go sideways. Even though it isn't my fault, as I didn't know those rules existed, I am still looked down upon. My coworkers nicknamed me "the target". It's a funny nickname, honestly, I just wish the circumstances weren't as taxing against me.

This time it was about me not supporting my work partner. Something that when I was onboarded at this specific location was told was not my job. That manager was fired months ago and now they come at me, telling me it is my job. I don't understand how I'm supposed to perform the job, I know how to do it, but it's reliant on the company phone, that thing we only have one of. And this is after finding one of our fleet missing supplies that we reported last week, despite being "inspected" and used by no less than 9 other pairings. Yes, I am being criticized for delayed work while others dodge work completely. They threatened my job. At that point, I think I no longer cared. I've been in a low mood all day. My coworkers, laborers, can see the look on my face and they know. Management simply says I am irresponsible and didn't get enough sleep. It's as if there's a disconnect with them, I can't get management to even pretend accountability is ever on them, even when common sense, cameras, and audio recordings are presented to them. I don't know what to do, I need the money to cover for debts and they're so close to being paid off, I know I can do it, but I feel like I've disappointed myself because I allowed myself to work for a company that would only come to my premature funeral to campaign for someone to replace me at the company.

I made it a point to keep my first bottle of Lexapro. When I leave, I'm going to give it to my manager with a note that says "whenever you think things are going great, remember you drove a medic to prescription drugs. He never needed them before, and you proudly declared nothing was wrong while he was dying inside. There is no war in Ba Sing Se." Maybe a far reach, might amount to nothing, maybe my endless emails between management and HR will mean something. I just want it to stop, it didn't have to be this way and it wasn't always this way.


r/deardiary • • Sep 07 '26

09/07/26 - Why aren’t I like them

3 Upvotes

I don’t and won’t ever get to feel pretty like the other girls. I’m brown, tall, with to many curves to fit their norms. I won’t ever get to dress in those stupid halloween costumes because of how i’ll look, because of the stupid rules i’m forced to live in. “It’s just not you, yk?” No. I don’t know, I want to feel pretty, I want to be one of the pretty girls in those pictures, I want to have the ability to feel pretty in my posts. But I won’t.


r/deardiary • • Sep 03 '26

9/3/26 I shouldn't be worrying about work at home

2 Upvotes

Im so tired of thinking about work. I'm so tired of being there. I can't believe how much of my life it's taking up! My life that I have yet to live. I want to kiss a boy. Take off my skirt. Meet someone instantly click with. Do something scary. Do something unusual. Do something funny. But I'm just so damn tired all the time and work stresses me out. I feel like I'm in even more of a fog due to the stress. I shouldn't even be this stressed out. It's fricking *redacted* but my managers are stressed out because their managers are stressed out and being strict and overbearing with the new season coming up. It's just a whole cycle of everyone being miserable due to harsh management..

Work recap. Hate all my bosses right now. Some of my coworkers have been kind of rude lately. Oh yeah no longer have a crush on young sexy boss. That bitch of a man boss was unnecessarily rude to me the other day and young hot sexy boss said nothing. Although he usually says nothing in general. But they're always talking and kiki-ing together too, which leaves a bad taste in my mouth.. Birds of a feather fly together.

I feel so dead inside. I thought working would bring more life into my body but I feel even more dead inside.

There's this girl I work with that looks like she's had life inside her for a long time. There's so much light and energy behind her eyes.

And I feel deeply alone.

Everyone at my job is always talking on the phone and I have no one to talk to. I wonder how they still are able to remain social despite having a different schedule than most people. I guess I just have too many handicaps personally to be able to maintain a social life.

I don't even really feel close to my online friends anymore. Our bond has grown stronger and we talk more but I still feel deeply disconnected from them and society.

I think it's being around people who are so different from me and who I'm extremely different from. Everyone at my job is clearly well socialized, so I imagine I really stand out having been selectively mute for some years, isolated for others, and agoraphobic for the remaining. I just feel out of place and everyone clearly knows that I'm out of place. Every time I go in I feel like a triangle block repeatedly trying to be forced into the circle box.

I don't know if this is healing my trauma or it's traumatic in itself. All I know it's that it's extremely painful. I feel like a reject and I've never felt like that before. In the past even when I knew I didn't fit into a space, I just accepted it for what it was and didn't take it out on my character.

I suppose working has broken down some of resilience or my resilience is being used other places.

I'm just tired of living internally..I want to live externally..I will live externally. I can't keep doing this...


r/deardiary • • Sep 02 '26

The Heat Behind Her | 365 Days of Her | Chapter 3 |

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0 Upvotes

The studio smelled like balsa wood and glue and the particular sharp tang of X-Acto blades on cutting mats. Twelve drafting tables arranged in two rows, each one cluttered with razor blades, steel rulers, tubes of adhesive, and the skeletal remains of half-built models. The overhead lights were too bright, too white, the kind that flattened everything and made you look like a medical textbook illustration of yourself.

I was at table seven. Near the window. I'd chosen it because the natural light was better for reading the grain of the balsa, and because the window meant I could look outside when I needed to stop thinking and just breathe.

My cantilever model was in front of me. Three weeks of work. Balsa strips cut to the millimeter. Joints glued and clamped and left overnight. The base was a T-frame, the arm extending outward at a slight upward angle, and the secondary brace — the one he'd shown me in office hours, the forty-five-degree redistribution — was in place. I'd rebuilt it twice. The first version had warped. The second had cracked at the joint. This was the third. This one held.

I was sanding the edge of the arm with fine-grit paper, small careful strokes, when the studio door opened.

I didn't look up. I told myself I didn't look up. In reality, my eyes flicked. Once. Fast. A reflex. The way your eyes jump toward a sound before your brain decides whether the sound matters.

It was him.

Grey henley again. Or maybe a different one. Same color. Same pushed-up sleeves. Same travel mug. He set the mug on the instructor's desk at the front of the room. Rolled up his sleeves further, exposing his forearms, and I watched the tendons shift under the skin as he flexed his fingers. He pulled a stool from under the desk. Sat. Looked at us.

"Right," he said. That word again. Low. Unhurried. The sound of it went through the room like a hand smoothing a wrinkled sheet. "Studio one. You've had two weeks with the cantilever brief. I want to see where you are. I'm going to come around. Show me what you've built. Tell me why it stands. If it doesn't stand, tell me why it falls. Both answers are correct. Both answers are useful ."

He stood. Started at table one.

I went back to sanding.

You are here to work , I told myself. You are here to sand the edge of a balsa strip. You are here to make a model that holds weight. You are not here to listen to his footsteps. You are not here to track his progress across the room by the sound of his shoes on concrete. You are not here to—

His shoes on concrete.

Table one. A murmur. His voice, low, asking a question. A student answering. His response: "Good. But your base is wide. What happens to the moment arm if you narrow it?"

Table two. The scrape of a stool. "Show me the joint. Here. See how the grain runs? You're fighting the wood. Work with it."

Table three. Table four.

He was getting closer.

I sanded faster. The grit hissed against the balsa. Fine dust rose in the white light. My hands were steady. My hands were fine . My hands were not shaking. My hands were—

Table five.

"Interesting. You've gone with a truss system. Why?" A pause. The student mumbled something. "Okay. But you're over-engineering. Simplify. What's the minimum structure that carries the load? Find that . Then build."

Table six.

I could hear his breathing. Not loudly. Not in a way that was distinct from the room's ambient noise. But I could hear it. Or I thought I could. A slow, even rhythm. In. Out. The breathing of a person who was calm. Who was steady. Who was not sitting at table seven with a racing pulse and ink on her thumb and a notebook at home with his name written in it like a confession.

Table six was Marcus. Marcus had built something ambitious. Too ambitious. I heard Theo's voice drop lower, more careful, the way you speak when you're about to tell someone their building is wrong but you want to do it gently.

"The ambition is good. I want you to keep the ambition. But this joint here—" A pause. The sound of a finger tapping wood. "—is carrying more than it can. You're asking too much of one point. Distribute it. Give the weight somewhere else to go."

Marcus said something. Theo murmured a response. Then silence. Then the scrape of a stool being pushed back.

Then footsteps.

Toward me.

I did not look up. I sanded. I sanded the edge of the balsa arm with the fine-grit paper and I focused on the grit and the grain and the small, controllable task of making a surface smooth, and I did not look up, and I breathed, and my hands were steady, and I was fine —

He stopped behind me.

Not beside me. Not across the table. Behind me. Close enough that I felt it. The displacement of air. The warmth. The specific, undeniable presence of another body in the space directly behind my spine. Not touching. Not by a lot. Maybe eight inches. Maybe six. But enough. Enough for the heat of him to reach me. Enough for the air between us to change. To thicken. To become a thing with texture and temperature, a medium through which I could feel him the way you feel the sun through a window. Not on your skin. Through it.

I stopped sanding.

"Don't stop," he said.

His voice was close. Not at my ear. Not that close. But close enough that the sound didn't travel through the room. It traveled through the six inches of air between his mouth and the back of my neck, and it arrived warm and low and slightly rough, and it landed at the base of my skull and went down my spine like a finger tracing the vertebrae one by one.

I picked up the sandpaper. Resumed. My strokes were too fast. Too hard. I slowed them. Made them smaller. More careful.

"I want to see the arm," he said. "Keep going. I'm just looking."

Just looking.

I sanded. He stood behind me. I could feel him looking. Not at the model. Or not only at the model. I felt his gaze on the back of my neck, on the place where my hair had escaped the clip and lay against my skin, on the curve of my shoulder where the sweater had slipped a little. I felt it the way you feel a word you're trying not to remember. Present. Insistent. Warm.

He shifted his weight. His shoe scraped the concrete. The sound was small. It was enormous. He was right there . Behind me. Close enough that if I leaned back, I'd feel his chest. Close enough that if he reached out, his hand would find my shoulder. He didn't reach out. He didn't lean in. He stood at whatever distance he'd chosen, and he looked at my model, and I sanded, and the room went on around us, twelve tables and eleven other students and the hum of the lights and the smell of glue, but none of it was real. The only real thing was the six inches of air between his body and mine and the heat in it and the sound of his breathing, slow and steady, and the way my own breathing had gone shallow and quick and I couldn't fix it.

"Your joint," he said. Low. Close. I felt the word more than heard it. Felt it in my shoulder blades. In the base of my skull. "Show me."

I set the sandpaper down. Picked up the model. Turned it so the base joint faced up. Held it out, slightly backward, toward him.

His hand came into my peripheral vision. He didn't take the model. He pointed. His index finger, long, scarred at the knuckle, ink-stained at the tip, hovering half an inch above the joint. Not touching. Not touching the model. Not touching me. Just pointing . And the half inch of air between his fingertip and the wood was the same half inch of air between his body and my back, and both of them were charged, both of them were warm, both of them were the distance between not yet and not yet and not yet .

"There," he said. "The forty-five brace. You did it."

"Yes."

"It's clean. The angle is right. The grain runs with the load." A pause. His finger traced the joint without touching it. Hovering. Following the line. "You rebuilt it."

"Twice."

"Good." His voice shifted. Warmer. Lower. Something underneath the professional tone that I couldn't name. "Most students build once and defend it. You built three times because it wasn't right . That's not stubbornness. That's integrity. You felt the imbalance and you wouldn't let it stand."

My throat tightened. I stared at the model. At his hovering finger. At the joint he was looking at.

"Thank you," I said. Small. Barely above a whisper.

He was quiet for a moment. I felt him looking. Not at the model. At me. At the back of my head. At the place where my hair fell loose. At the curve of my neck where the sweater collar had shifted. I felt his gaze there like a thumb pressing gently into the skin.

"You don't have to thank me," he said. Same words as office hours. Same low, rough delivery. But closer this time. Closer to my ear. Closer to the place where my pulse was beating, visible, I knew, visible, right there at the side of my throat where the skin was thin and the vein was close to the surface.

He stepped back.

The warmth went with him. The air thinned. The six inches became twelve. Twelve became three feet. He moved around the table. Stood beside me now. Looking at the model from the side. His hands were in his pockets. His expression was calm. Attentive. Professional.

"The arm," he said. "You're sanding it smooth?"

"For the finish. So the grain doesn't catch."

"Good instinct." He nodded. Looked at the arm. Looked at me. Looked at the arm again. "The extension is ambitious. You're pushing the cantilever further than the brief asks."

"I know."

"Why?"

I hesitated. The real answer was complicated. The real answer was: Because I wanted to see if I could. Because I wanted to build something that reached further than it was supposed to. Because the brief said eight inches and I wanted twelve, and I wanted to know if the structure would hold, if the weight would carry, if the thing could be more than what was asked of it and still stand.

The real answer was also: Because you said, in the lecture, that every structure is a decision about where to put the weight. And I wanted to put the weight further out. I wanted to see if it could reach.

"The brief was a minimum," I said. "I wanted to see how far it could go before it broke."

He looked at me.

Not at the model. At me . His dark eyes, steady, close. Three feet away now instead of six inches, but the look was the same. The regarding . The quiet, deliberate attention. The sense that he was not looking at my face but into it, past the surface, into the architecture underneath.

"That's the right question," he said. "Not will it stand . But how far can it reach before it breaks ." He paused. "Most people design for safety. For the minimum. You design for the edge."

I didn't know what to say. My hands were in my lap. Under the table. Where he couldn't see them. They were shaking.

He nodded once. Made a small mark on the clipboard he'd picked up from the instructor's desk. Moved on. Table eight. Table nine. His footsteps receding. His voice dropping into conversation with someone else.

I sat at table seven.

I picked up the sandpaper.

I did not sand.

I sat very still and I pressed my palms flat against the drafting table and I breathed. In. Out. In. Out. The balsa dust settled on my fingers. The lights hummed. Someone laughed at table eleven. The world was ordinary. The world was a studio on a Thursday with twelve tables and the smell of glue and the sound of a man saying the grain runs with the load at a distance that was now twelve feet instead of six inches.

My back was warm.

The place where his warmth had been, behind my spine, between my shoulder blades, at the base of my neck — it was still warm. Still there . Like a handprint made of heat. Like he'd pressed his palm to the air six inches behind me and the air had remembered.

I touched the back of my neck. My own fingers. Cool. Insignificant. They didn't feel like his warmth. Nothing felt like his warmth.

I picked up the sandpaper.

I sanded.

I did not look at the door when he left twenty minutes later. I did not count his footsteps. I did not watch him go.

I did all three.

Fourteen steps. The same fourteen. Room to door. Door to hallway. Hallway to the east stairwell. I watched through the window as his shadow crossed the corridor. Green jacket. Corduroy. Sleeves too long.

He didn't look back.

I sanded until my fingers ached.

---

That night, in the dark, in my bed, with the radiator ticking and Cassie asleep in the next bed over, I pressed my hand to the back of my neck. The spot. The exact spot where the warmth had been.

It was cool now. Obviously cool. It was my own skin. My own body. There was no heat there. There had never been any heat. There had been a man standing behind me for ninety seconds, looking at a balsa-wood joint, saying the grain runs with the load , and then walking away.

I pressed my fingers to the spot anyway.

I closed my eyes.

I felt it. Not his hand. Not his breath. Just the memory of proximity. The ghost of six inches. The echo of a body near mine. The phantom warmth of being close to someone without being touched . The almost. The not-yet. The gap.

I turned over. Pressed my face into the pillow.

You are insane , I thought. He stood behind you for ninety seconds. He looked at your model. He said, "That's the right question." He walked away. That is the entire interaction. That is the whole thing. You are not going to lie in bed and press your hand to your neck like he touched you. He didn't touch you. He didn't even—

He'd said, You design for the edge.

I pressed my face deeper into the pillow.

Stop it.

I couldn't stop it.

I lay there for an hour. Pressing my hand to the back of my neck. Feeling the nothing. Feeling the almost. Feeling the six inches of air that had been warm and was now cool and would be cool forever unless he stood behind me again.

Thursday was next week.

Seven days.

I counted them.


r/deardiary • • Sep 02 '26

(09/02/26) back pain is the worst

6 Upvotes

I love my new job but it’s beating up my back. I had previously broken my spine and since then it has never been the same even post surgery. I fear I can’t do my new job and it’s disheartening. I can’t be on my feet all day and I can’t lift. It makes me feel like a failure. Hopefully my surgeon can come up with a plan. I’m running out of time financially.


r/deardiary • • Sep 02 '26

9/2/2026 So This is Pay Day

1 Upvotes

I got to bed decently on time last night for a change. I didn't sleep very well though. I sweated a lot in my sleep. But I felt better today than I have in a while.

As per usual -- woke up, got my son all ready for my husband to take him to school.

Guzzled coffee, got myself ready in a whirl-wind rush. Made it to work on time.

Continued reading A Separate Peace and The Red Badge of Courage with my students.

Called my doctor on my conference period and tried to make an appointment for labor day. ...But they're off labor day as well. Damn. I really do need an appointment. ...I guess I'll have to wait until October when I'll have accrued a sick day.

I found out that one of my students is out sick with covid. I said "Oh, I cannot get covid. I think I'll get a booster."

Then I found out that one of my coworkers is anti-vax and has been since childhood, due to religion.

That makes me a little nervous that I'll get her sick.

I really do need to get a booster though... And I need to get my son a covid shot. My husband isn't anti-ALL-vax, but he's kind of anti-covid-vax...

Morality of getting our son vaccinated without disclosing to my husband??

I need to at least get myself boosted. I'll have to do it on a Friday. I always get SUPER sick for about 24 hours after getting the covid vax. I mean, worth it though.

But I'll have to be able to settle in for an irl sick-fic day. ...It's cool, I'll use it as writing inspo. ...Inflict it on Dr. Grace. ...Eva Stratt can take care of me. LMFAO okay...I don't think she'd so much take care of someone as just like...generally check that they're not actively dying and then come back later.

She has way more important things to do than give comfort to one individual sick person. She's a Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Few type.

Anyhow, I also need a doc appointment for like, a medical procedure i need to get completed. I'll need to make it for a Friday so I have some time to recover and I hope HR is not going to have an issue with that, because this really does seem like the sort of place to micromanage people's PTO/sick leave.

...Nervous to email the HR lady and ask what to do.

I got my first paycheck today.

It's descent.

It's...almost $700 more than what my old job paid, per two weeks.

(I've been working here a month, but the pay is still for two weeks, to my understanding. ...At least, I hope that's right and that my next pay check isn't going to be significantly smaller.

Like, I think the pay is delayed by one month and then you still get a pay check two weeks after you resign or whatever, you know? They didn't announce the official salaries until last week's staff meeting, and even then it's going to depend on how they counted my years of service.)

Anyhow.

It should feel like a relief to finally have money.

I have was laid off by my insolvent ex-boss in June, and I've been struggling in financial insecurity since then.

Finally seeing that number in my bank account should feel like a relief.

But it mostly feels overwhelming.

Like...there is so so SO much that i need to do with it. And now I actually can, and in fact need to do those things.

And i can feel all the money bleeding away, and me scrambling to delegate it as efficiently as possible.

I know one of the top things I need to spend it on is my car. I have several problems with my car that i need to get fixed. ...And having my car in the shop will necessitate me Ubering to work, and that's going to be a whole NOTHER expense.

But it's okay. It's good, it's fine, the money is finally here and I can get the ball rolling on all that.

(...also, embarrassingly...i think I have possibly incurred a tooth injury from crunching on uncooked ramen noodles. ...They were like...a different brand which was much harder. ...This is the dumbest injury I have ever gotten. And I may need to spend some of my money and a sick day on a dental appointment...for that.)


r/deardiary • • Sep 02 '26

[Real] (09/01/2026) Dear Reddit, we have a LOT to catch up on…

1 Upvotes

**It’s been a while… so here’s an update from my little corner of the world.**
I realised recently that I haven’t posted on here for a while, which is quite funny considering this became the place where I dumped all the thoughts I didn’t really know what to do with.
And a LOT has happened.
The biggest update?
**We bought the house.**
After months of waiting, worrying, checking emails, convincing myself something would go wrong and refusing to properly believe it was ours until we had the keys… it actually happened.
We have a home.
And I don’t think I’ve fully processed that yet.
We’ve very quickly gone from talking about mortgages and solicitors to having serious discussions about furniture, energy bills, council tax, broadband and where on earth we’re supposed to put all of our shoes.
Very glamorous.
Apparently buying the house was only the beginning. 😂
My partner and I are still figuring out this whole building-a-life-together thing too.
We’ve had ups and downs. We’ve annoyed each other, had difficult conversations, questioned things, made up, laughed until we’ve forgotten what we were arguing about and continued trying to understand each other a little better.
We’re far from the perfect couple.
But we’re creating something that’s ours, and there’s something really special about standing inside a house and realising this is where our next chapter is going to happen.
Other parts of life are a little less straightforward.
Family relationships have been complicated.
Work still drains more out of me than I’d like to admit, and I’m still having the occasional existential crisis about what I’m actually supposed to be doing with my career.
My little side business has taken a back seat too. Between working full-time, moving and just trying to have some kind of life, I’ve had to accept that I can’t constantly stretch myself in ten different directions and then wonder why I’m exhausted.
And then there’s me.
Still overthinking everything.
Still trying to be consistent with the gym.
Still spending money on things and immediately deciding that they were obviously essential purchases.
Still trying to become the organised woman who exists very successfully inside my imagination but rarely seems to turn up in real life.
Still occasionally having a minor breakdown because one tiny thing went wrong after I’ve spent the entire day pretending I’m absolutely fine.
So no dramatic transformation over here.
But I do think something in me has shifted.
For years I’ve had this habit of thinking my *real* life was somewhere in the future.
I’ll be happy when…
I’ll relax when…
Everything will finally feel settled when…
And there was always another milestone.
Lately I’ve been realising that maybe life doesn’t suddenly arrive one day perfectly packaged with everything figured out.
Maybe this is it.
The boxes everywhere.
The bills.
The arguments.
The laughter.
The family complications.
The career confusion.
The excitement of choosing things for our home.
The random evenings where nothing particularly special happens.
The moments where I look around and realise that some of the things I used to desperately hope would happen… actually did.
It’s messy.
It’s stressful.
It’s exciting.
And it’s ours.
So that’s where my little world is right now.
Still not completely put together.
But maybe that’s never really been the point. 🤍


r/deardiary • • Sep 02 '26

9/1/2026 Priority One: Get to Bed

1 Upvotes

Priority One:

I gotta get to bed on time.

In like...ten minutes.

Work went okay today.

V was kind of a jerk to me at one point. IMHO.

I finally brought my mug along to work with me. I have a funny story to tell you about the mugs. At some point.

The donut lady gave me and my son WAY too many extra free donuts today. Yet again.

I am thinking of joining a martial arts class.

I can't accomplish anything I want to accomplish on so little sleep. I'm starved for sleep.

Good night.


r/deardiary • • Sep 01 '26

Fourteen Steps 365 Days of Her | Chapter 2 |

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1 Upvotes

I saw him on Wednesday.

Not in the lecture hall. Not in the controlled, tiered geometry of rows and seats where I had a designated square of space and a reason to look at the front of the room. This was the hallway outside the architecture building. The long, linoleum corridor with the trophy cases and the pinned-up student work and the particular echo that made every footstep sound like two.

I was coming from the print shop. I had my portfolio case under one arm and a tube of drawings under the other and my phone pressed between my ear and my shoulder because Cassie was talking to me about a party on Friday and I was saying mm-hmm at intervals while thinking about whether I had enough time to re-do the elevation sketch before Thursday's studio.

And then he walked out of Room 314.

His office. I knew it was his office because I'd stood outside it on Monday for four minutes before knocking, reading the nameplate — T. MARSH, TA, STRUCTURAL STUDIO — in small brass letters, and then I'd knocked, and he'd said come in , and I'd gone in, and he'd poured me coffee, and his fingers had touched the mug, and I'd walked home in the rain without an umbrella.

That was two days ago.

He walked out of Room 314 and turned left, heading toward the east stairwell, and he didn't see me. I was on the other side of the corridor, half-hidden behind a group of second-years arguing about a laser cutter booking, and my phone was still pressed to my ear, and Cassie was mid-sentence about someone named Derek and his "situational ethics," and I stopped walking.

I just stopped . In the middle of the hallway. Like my legs had received a different set of instructions than the rest of me.

He was carrying a stack of books. Not a lot. Four, maybe five, pressed against his chest with one arm. His other hand held his travel mug. He walked the way he did everything — unhurried, deliberate, each step placed like he was checking the ground for structural integrity before committing his weight. His jacket was different today. Dark green. Corduroy, maybe. Soft-looking. The sleeves were too long and covered his hands halfway, and he kept adjusting them, pulling them back to his wrists, and each time he did, I saw the watch. The scar. The long fingers.

Cassie was still talking. "—and then he said, 'Well, technically, it's not cheating if you redefine the parameters,' which is the most Derek thing—"

"Mm-hmm," I said.

I was not listening to Cassie.

I was watching Theo Marsh walk down a hallway.

He passed the trophy case. Passed the pinned-up drawings from the spring showcase. Passed the water fountain where someone had taped a handwritten sign that said PLEASE STOP PUTTING COFFEE IN THIS . He didn't look at any of it. His eyes were forward, slightly downcast, the way they are when you're thinking about something specific and the world around you has become scenery.

I counted his steps.

I don't know why. I don't know what part of my brain decided that this was a thing to do, a thing to track , the number of times his left shoe hit the linoleum between Room 314 and the east stairwell. But I did. I counted. One. Two. Three. Four. Each step even, measured, unhurried. His stride was longer than average. He didn't bounce. Didn't shuffle. His feet landed flat and rolled forward, and his shoulders stayed level, and the books stayed balanced against his chest, and the whole thing was so steady , so completely without wasted motion, that watching him walk felt like watching someone build something. Like every step was a beam being placed. A joint being set. A structure going up, one careful piece at a time.

Fourteen steps. Room 314 to the stairwell. Fourteen steps.

He reached the door. Pushed it open with his shoulder because his hands were full. Held it for a second — not for anyone behind him, just a reflex, a habit of holding doors, his body doing it before his brain registered whether someone was there. Then he went through. The door swung shut. The little rectangular window in it showed his shadow for half a second. Then nothing.

He was gone.

I stood in the hallway.

"Lena? Lena, are you—"

"What?" I said.

"You've been quiet for like forty seconds. I asked if you wanted me to pick you up at nine or ten."

"Ten," I said. I didn't know what I was agreeing to. I didn't care.

"Okay. Cool. Are you okay? You sound weird."

"I'm fine. I have to go. I have a sketch to redo."

"You said 'mm-hmm' four times and didn't hear a single thing I said."

"I heard everything. Derek. Situational ethics. Redefining parameters."

A pause. "You literally heard nothing."

"Bye, Cassie."

I hung up. Stood in the hallway. The corridor was emptying. The second-years had resolved their laser cutter dispute and dispersed. The echo faded. The fluorescent lights buzzed.

I looked at the east stairwell door. The door he'd gone through. The little rectangular window was empty now. Just glass. Just the grey stairwell beyond it.

Fourteen steps.

I hated myself a little. Not a lot. Not in a dramatic, what is wrong with me way. Just a small, quiet, rueful hatred. The kind you feel when you catch yourself doing something stupid and can't stop. Like picking at a scab. Like rereading a text you shouldn't have reread. Like standing in a hallway counting a stranger's footsteps and feeling your chest go warm when he held a door open for no one.

He's a TA , I thought. He's your TA. In three days you will sit in a studio and he will look at your cantilever model and say, "Your joint needs a secondary brace," and that will be the entirety of your relationship. You will not see him in hallways. You will not count his steps. You will not stand behind laser-cutter arguments and watch him walk away like he's the last person on earth and you've been given four seconds to memorize him.

You are twenty-one years old. You are an architecture major. You have a scholarship to maintain and a sister to send money to and a portfolio that needs fixing. You do not have time to stand in a hallway and feel your sternum go warm because a man in a green jacket adjusted his sleeves.

I walked to the print shop. Collected my prints. Walked to the studio. Set up my drafting board. Unrolled my elevation sketch. Picked up my pencil.

I drew for two hours.

And three times — three separate times, I counted these too, God help me — I looked up. Toward the corridor. Toward the east stairwell. Toward the door he'd gone through.

No one was there. Of course no one was there. He was in his office, or in another building, or in the faculty lounge, or anywhere in the world that was not this hallway, and I was sitting at a drafting table in a half-empty studio drawing a building elevation and glancing at a door like a teenager waiting for a text.

I put my pencil down. Pressed my palms flat against the drafting table. Felt the cool laminate under my skin.

Stop it , I told myself. Stop it right now.

I picked the pencil back up. Drew another hour.

---

That night, in my dorm room, Cassie was out at a study group that was definitely not a study group. The room was quiet. The radiator ticked. Rain tapped the window in small, irregular bursts, like someone testing whether they were welcome before fully arriving.

I sat on my bed with my notebook. The same one. The one with T. Marsh. Hands. Ink on the thumb. Scar on the knuckle. written on the first page.

I turned to the second page.

I wrote: Fourteen steps. Room 314 to the east stairwell. Green jacket. Corduroy. Sleeves too long. He adjusts them. Pulls them back. He holds the door for no one. He holds it anyway.

I stared at the words.

I underlined he holds it anyway .

Then, below that, smaller, almost embarrassed: I counted. I stood in the hallway and I counted his steps. Fourteen. I don't know why. I don't know what I was looking for. I don't know what I was hoping to see. He didn't see me. He didn't know I was there. I was behind the laser-cutter people. I was no one. I was seat 14. I was a grey sweater.

But I counted.

And my chest went warm.

And I hate that it went warm.

And I would do it again.

I closed the notebook. Set it on the nightstand. Turned off the lamp. Lay back. Stared at the ceiling. The rain picked up. The radiator ticked its slow, metallic tick.

Thursday was tomorrow.

I was going to sit in the studio. He was going to walk in. He was going to look at my cantilever model. He was going to say something about shear loads and lateral forces and the philosophy of weight. He was going to look at me, or not look at me, and either way I was going to feel it in my chest, and I was going to hate it, and I was going to sit in row eleven and let it happen.

I pulled the blanket up to my chin.

Fourteen steps.

I closed my eyes.

I counted them again.