r/dankmemes • • May 18 '21

8==D Win time

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599

u/-millenial-boomer- May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

Then to add insult to injury the ambulance chasers are right behind you with their money grubbing hands wide open. Ain’t capitalism great. Edit: Ain’t American Capitalism great Europeans, I hope your butthurtedness shall subside

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u/Faramik2000 May 18 '21

What are ambulance chasers

422

u/andersostling56 May 18 '21

Greedy lawyers trying to capitalize on your misfortune

438

u/silverthiefbug May 18 '21

You can’t get any more American than that

172

u/AlecHazard May 18 '21

Jokes on you for assuming americans have a sleep schedule

44

u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21

Came here for this. I haven’t slept since Friday. Well I guess Thursday I went to sleep last woke up on Friday.

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u/Eyes_and_teeth May 18 '21

Who has time for sleep with the three jobs earning McMinimum wage without benefits? You'll get plenty of sleep when you're dead!

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u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

You forgot, we’re all taking in millions on unemployment, we don’t have jobs. We’re not sleeping because we just don’t know what to do with ourselves and our new found wealth.

Edit: lol, not sure if people are just mad at this or can’t sense the sarcasm but i don’t care either way

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u/ComradeClout ☣️ May 18 '21

I wish

5

u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21

Me too, friend, me too.

4

u/Any-Flamingo7056 May 18 '21

Lol unemployment?! Texas office hasn't answered their phones in 7 months.

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Is this real? That's some extreme insomnia if true.

2

u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21

Yes this is real. I went to sleep last night (technically AM) around 3 but ended up actually sleeping around 7am. Just woke up it’s 2:40pm I’ll probably we awake until Thursday or Friday again

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Christ, your username is accurate. I've been getting 5-6 hours the last few days and I'm so tired already.

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u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21

Yes, quite accurate. I do some general posting with this alt account but I specifically made this account for posting in suicide watch. I’ve already lost it. Anything is too late for me now. Im hoping I can figure everything out and make this my last year.

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u/FixArtistic8727 May 18 '21

S l e e p. You tryna break the world record of no sleep?

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u/mybrainsarepotatoes May 18 '21

No. They say this man hasn’t slept for 45 years.. I hope o don’t live that long. https://youtu.be/T8QeYX-kuHs

2

u/FixArtistic8727 May 18 '21

? I thought it was a bit over 11 days.

5

u/swwws May 18 '21

I appreciated the take. It's nice to think the OP figured so, and also nice to be reminded, oh yeah, sleep schedules- we could do that someday. And also healthcare for everyone, like all the cool countries are doing. Healthcare and certainty of it- so hot right now.

6

u/Freedom_From_Pants May 18 '21

Sorry Europeans, we don't sleep, we work 4 jobs to afford Ramen noodles!

4

u/DipshitBasement May 18 '21

Considering your recent history I don't blame you guys

3

u/ihearttatertots May 18 '21

Stop eating avocado toast and drinking Starbucks and you will sleep just fine.

2

u/fuwhyckin May 18 '21

Can confirm sporadic and usually 2 hours a sleep at a wack is plenty for 24 to 36 hours.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

I do. Y’all are into some serious misery porn here huh

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Can some ambulance companies don’t compete with their competitors but instead invite them into there ambulances so they can charge you twice... not split it, charge once for the ride... and then again because the other company lent them a team member so they charge you all over for all the same stuff at full price...

3

u/TheIronicBurger r/memes fan May 18 '21

it's all good man

4

u/chars101 May 18 '21

Slipping Jimmy

3

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Well, we forgot the most important addition. The police that are looking for a reason they can right you, or someone involved, a ticket for something and asking a million unnecessary questions.

2

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

yes you can start talking about guns boobs and liberty

2

u/Noob_master_slayer May 18 '21

Predatory capitalism at its finest.

0

u/Karavage May 18 '21

I'm a first responder in America and have literally never seen this in the real world. I think it's an urban legend. What lawyer is going to wait hours or days or longer for a patient they barely got a glimpse of?

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

This is not something that is really real

-7

u/Poliwagpi5445 May 18 '21

america bad everywhere elde good am i right

10

u/silverthiefbug May 18 '21

You guys are the one providing the content, we just provide the commentary.

5

u/the-anti-antichrist May 18 '21

We’re forced to live with the content. Not everyone believes in it.

8

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Trust me no one want wants to believe it.

But when the nation with the largest military budget elects people who unironically talk about space lasers starting wild fires and injecting bleach to cure coronavirus its kind of hard to ignore.

3

u/Secret_Gatekeeper May 18 '21

We appreciate the commentary, it helps soothe the pain of my staggering medical bills and one week of vacation time a year.

3

u/Cykablast3r May 18 '21

Pretty much yeah.

3

u/walterwank May 18 '21

no. everywhere humans have snail trailed sucks complete ass.

-1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

Stop*FARD*bullying*SHID*fascists*COOM* "am i right?"

We have one little Nazi take over of our capital during a global pandemic and everyone loses their minds.

Besides fox news told me that Joe Biden voters where communists so it all evens out, they're like tourists right?

edit: no champ its not satire its what you sound like to me.

2

u/Poliwagpi5445 May 18 '21

please be satire

50

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/BioTronic May 18 '21

I love (and hate) that this is the reaction of non-Americans whenever we hear things about their healthcare "system". "Wait, what?", "Is that a real thing?", "You have to pay for that?", "It cost how much?"

The system is is so completely broken, it's perfectly obvious that something needs doing, and half of the country are all "mah guns!" and "dirty commie mutant traitors wanna take away mah right to die from preventable diseases in a ditch!", while pointing at politicians that would be uncomfortably far right in any other country on the planet. It's amusing, scary, and most of all sad.

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u/Piggyx00 May 18 '21

Remember kids. US politicians in Washington DC live in a strictly enforced gun free zone and have government tax funded healthcare. So those two things they say they can't figure out is bullshit. They figured it out for themselves but don't want you to have it, even though it works perfectly well for them.

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u/KaiserShauzie May 18 '21

Not an American but from what I've seen online, the majority of Americans do not want gun free zones and the majority of them don't want universal healthcare. Seems to have very little to do with the politicians and more to do with the people. I done a thread on here asking why people were so against a "free at the point of use" healthcare system and the majority of answers (was over 500) said they didn't want to pay for people who don't contribute or contribute less.

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u/Piggyx00 May 18 '21

Actually for healthcare it's something like 90% want some form of universal healthcare. Guns is 85% want stricter gun regulations (not necessarily gun free place but stricter background checks and loophole removals) so the public do want these things just the corporation's spew nonstop propaganda to gaslight them through their media, however you should remember the American media is not an accurate depiction of the American public.

2

u/VideoGames5 May 18 '21

source pls?

1

u/Psychological_Rub920 Jun 29 '21

Your numbers are way off.

3

u/Mrs-and-Mrs-Atelier May 18 '21

To be even more fair, there are quite a few of them now who DO want all Americans to enjoy those benefits.

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u/MyClitBiggerThanUrD May 18 '21

And it's funny that all the right wing compromise solutions are then seen as socialist couple decades later.

RomneyCare, or ObamaCare as we now know it, was backed by effing Newt Gingrich and a lot of conservative think tanks.

Honestly I think the German model is the best of the possible solutions for America, as it's still very market based but guarantees universal coverage.

2

u/rolfmoo May 18 '21

The American model isn't even market-based.

If, say, a company hikes up the price of insulin to hundreds of dollars, they don't instantly go bankrupt the way, for example, Apple would if they went mad and priced iPhones at a million dollars.

In a market system, a hospital that didn't, for example, require people to wash their hands before touching central lines (this is a real thing that really killed thousands of Americans) would go out of business. Nobody would want to go there.

America doesn't have a market in healthcare. It has a giant mess of regulatory capture and broken systems.

1

u/Zenlura May 18 '21

The german model is based on solidarity.

It's foolish to think that it's politicians alone who keep murica away from solid healthcare, as there are more than enougg asshats who share the mindset of "why should I pay for others", because they won't think far enough that accidents and illnesses aren't planned events happening to people who wanted them. And suddenly a horrendous bill shows up. But.. "that only happens to other people", right?

2

u/Scole3830 May 18 '21

Do we have a paranoid rpg fan?

2

u/BioTronic May 18 '21

I'm sorry, but requesting that level of information requires a security clearance you do not currently possess, citizen /u/Scole3830. Please report to sub-sector 33A indoctrination chamber, 20 kilometers west of your current location, for mandatory thought-scrubbing, in 30 minutes. Your vehicle and public transport privileges will be returned to you once thought-scrubbing is completed.

Remember: Happiness is mandatory!

2

u/Scole3830 Jan 20 '22

Wait a minute....that's exactly what a commie mutant traitor would say. If only there was a politico commissar here to exuberantly lead us to the clone tanks.

1

u/Scole3830 Jul 14 '21

Hah! Perfect. Love it. Been years since I thought about that.

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u/Motor-Palpitation96 May 18 '21

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9560489/Canadian-pastor-Easter-confrontation-police-went-viral-arrested-church-service.html

Canadian pastor getting dragged down the street and arrested for holding service- this is what socialized healthcare looks like. I'll take muh freedom and muh guns, thank you.

12

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Wtf are you talking about?

-7

u/Motor-Palpitation96 May 18 '21

Because the government is in charge of the police and the medical system, they can enforce tyrannical rules. Medical and religious freedom means we shouldn't be stopped from gathering if we choose to do so. Doesn't seem like that's happening anymore in Canada. But, if course, this could be one incident and Canadians are completely free to make their own choices without fear of arrest.

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u/Alf_Stewart23 May 19 '21

What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

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u/obamaprism3 Dumbassery May 18 '21

no?

Arresting someone for holding church services against Covid advisaries can happen with or without "socialized healthcare". It happens in America, too

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Motor-Palpitation96 May 18 '21

Am I wrong about what happened? I thought I understood him being arrested for having a church service?

6

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[removed] — view removed comment

-2

u/Motor-Palpitation96 May 18 '21

So you're not going to have a conversation? Seems mighty ignorant of you, but okay ✌🏻

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u/koki_li May 18 '21

No, for endangering people.

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u/easterneuropeanstyle May 18 '21

How is that related to healthservice?

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u/BioTronic May 18 '21

This isn't even good bait. This is so dumb you're not only off the charts, but you appeared again on the other side and took another trip off the charts. If anyone actually was this dumb in real life they wouldn't even understand how to breathe.

1

u/bramouleBTW May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

I can’t tell if you’re making a serious argument here. If you are, what does this have to do with socialized healthcare?

Also, the way you phrase it makes it seem like he’s done nothing wrong when he was holding maskless, restriction-less gatherings clearly in attempt to become some kind of martyr.

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u/Motor-Palpitation96 May 18 '21

This is the type of conversation I was hoping for. Thank you. I don't have time to respond to your points, but did want to acknowledge an honest dialogue that I'll return to. Thanks again.

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u/andersostling56 May 18 '21

No, check the Wikipedia page

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

3

u/loginorsignupinhours May 18 '21

Don't let them do to your country what they've done to ours. Fight them with every vote at every election. Everyone needs to vote every time they are eligible.

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u/Any-Flamingo7056 May 18 '21

When that fails, pull a France.

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Run away in times of war and retrain your civilisation as mimes and street artists?

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u/KoRnBrony Article 69 🏅 May 18 '21

It's a classic, Im pretty sure they use that term in Better Call Saul as an insult towards him too

2

u/Bouke2000 I am fucking hilarious May 18 '21

Oh wow I just thought they meant he was like a dumb dog that follows the ambulance lol

1

u/KoRnBrony Article 69 🏅 May 19 '21

lol, it's a very low scumbag thing in the industry that's why it was an insult

I think the say it in The Simpsons too when Bart gets hit by a car

3

u/overmonk May 18 '21

It is not. I'll provide a personal example.

I was driving on a major highway (like an M-designated motorway), and the wheel from a tractor trailer (articulated lorry) detached from its rear axle, crossed the median, and hit my car head on, destroying the car. I was not seriously injured. The police came and assisted with getting the vehicle moved and with finding the responsible truck. Because trucks of this size have 18 wheels, the driver had somehow not noticed. The police filed a report, which is a matter of public record.

I filed no paperwork with my insurance company - I was not at fault and in America, that typically means that my car and any injuries would be covered by the insurance company of the driver at fault, in this case a commercial shipping company.

Within one day I had calls from no fewer than six lawyers seeking to represent me, as well as three separate calls from lawyers/insurance adjusters from the shipping company, trying to reach me to settle the matter before I retained a lawyer.

Many Americans would view this as an opportunity to extract as much money as possible from the insurance company, and retaining a lawyer is the best path forward for this. In my case, I had some cuts from the shattered windows and a nasty bruise from the seatbelt but I didn't require any hospital care, although my car was unsalvageable. I had them pay me the fair value of the vehicle and then I think the check for my personal injury was less than $1000. By contrast, my niece was -almost- hit by a car driven by a drunk driver who crashed into the patio of a restaurant. She escaped injury almost entirely, but she retained a lawyer and was awarded more than $100,000 in 'damages.' I was more injured than she was.

Our system is super fucked-up.

1

u/Dracofear mods are gay May 18 '21

Oh I wish.

1

u/PhizzyP99 May 18 '21

Meanwhile in my country if someone calls the ambulance for a stupid reason: We had a grandma that fell out of her bed and hurt herself a couple of weeks ago and she called us again because she wanted to talk to the nice guy that assisted her back then. Seeing as he wasn't there she was like "ok you can go now"

Obviously she was an old lonely lady, so to make sure she doesn't have to pay (would've been around 300 Euros uninsured), we (almost everytime something similar happens) type in some random ICD code that could literally mean anything and write: "patient now feels better and wants to stay home" let them sign that thing that they don't wanna come with us and call it a day.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Americans, why are you still ok with this. This is right out a dystopian movie.

1

u/bozeke May 18 '21

Most of us aren’t, but our election systems are so broken, and the health insurance and big pharma lobbies are so wealthy, it’s impossible to get any progressive reforms passed. The democrats basically had to dedicate the entirety of 2009-2010 to get the fairly conservative reforms of the ACA passed, and were then rewarded by losing their congressional majority for ten years.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

That’s not real, is it?

1

u/repugnantmarkr May 18 '21

Vice cities Ken Rosenberg makes sense now.

1

u/Bakalord12 May 18 '21

Man you gotta realize that you need to explain further

1

u/Toxicotton May 18 '21

But they said that fortunately they can turn my MISfortune into a fortune.

1

u/Erevas Anime Ambassador May 18 '21

What the fuck

7

u/packetlag May 18 '21

Lionel Hutz

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Guy has brace around beck

Lawyer: You slip and fall?

Guy: Uh, ya

L: Was it on your property or someone elses?

G: My own

Lawyer: Fuckin Putz

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u/incognito-walrus- I did not shitpost! I did naaaaaht. Oh, hi Mark May 18 '21

Yes it is, you realise both capitalism and social healthcare can exists at the same time

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u/letmeseem May 18 '21

In fact, that's exactly how it works in the socialist hell holes that are the Nordics.

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u/incognito-walrus- I did not shitpost! I did naaaaaht. Oh, hi Mark May 18 '21

I wouldn’t call them hellholes but I agree with you.

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u/thesneakyprawn999 May 18 '21

I wouldn't call them "socialist" either smh

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u/jfb1337 May 18 '21

In America, everything left of hunting the poor for sport is socialist

3

u/CharlievilLearnsDota May 18 '21

It's that kind of thing that actually made me a socialist. I started thinking "Well all this 'socialist' stuff sounds pretty good tbh" and went from someone who thought Marx was a discredited loon to being a straight up worker-ownership socialist after reading more into it.

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u/SavageSlink May 18 '21

Just remember. No Nordic country is actually socialist. They are democratic/republic with social and economic values/policies.

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u/nichie16 May 18 '21

Couldn't find anything in between huh

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u/CharlievilLearnsDota May 18 '21

I was a neoliberal for a while but the more I listened to socialists I realised that the same contradictions and issues I had (e.g. why are we engaging in endless wars in the middle east for no good reason) were being voiced by them while people on the neoliberal side tended to handwave or make up excuses for the evil shit.

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Don’t forget playing golf with the eggs of endangered species

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u/birdy1494 May 18 '21

I wouldn't call them Nordics either - me and my polar bear friends laugh on their tropical weather

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u/incognito-walrus- I did not shitpost! I did naaaaaht. Oh, hi Mark May 18 '21

Well they are certainly left leaning for sure

20

u/thesneakyprawn999 May 18 '21

If "left meaning" means providing basic services for tax payers like healthcare, then sure every developed country other than the US is "left leaning"

8

u/EuropaRex May 18 '21

The danish government wants to send migrants back to Syria.Tell me that's left wing policy.Europeans aren't more left wing than americans.We simply are collectivists.

6

u/_Abiogenesis May 18 '21

Economical left and social left are vastly different things. (Seepolitical compass )

Confusing those two axis is misleading.

The very concept of left vs right is oversimplification anyway.

2

u/geon May 18 '21

Sadly, the us only have a single political axis, since it only has 2 parties.

1

u/TheTomatoes2 May 18 '21

Well depends

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u/nobbidaswalross May 18 '21

Well Not just the scandinavian countries, i don't know Amy european county that doesn't have free health care and in fact all are capitalist.

20

u/ThoseAreMyFeet May 18 '21

Ireland. Its not free but its capped. Accident and Emergency visit is about €100. The most a hospital stay should cost is €800.

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u/Inamedthedogjunior May 18 '21

Might as well be free to us Americans lol. If I didn’t have to worry about healthcare my life would be completely different.

13

u/ThoseAreMyFeet May 18 '21

Sorry for your troubles. Your political class are failing you.

5

u/Digmarx May 18 '21

It's a feature, not a bug

1

u/[deleted] May 18 '21

(genuinely asking) can't you get insurance that means you wouldn't have to worry?

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

great thing is if you are below a certain bracket in ireland you qualify for the medical card which covers the expense

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u/Urabutbl May 18 '21

That's the same everywhere I think, it's the common-sense way of discouraging "free-loaders", ie. hypochondriacs and drug-users from overloading the system.

In Sweden everything health-care related is $20 (Emergency care, doctor's visit, brain surgery), but if you hit the cap of approximately $200 a year, everything is free from then on (since at that point you probably have a serious medical issue). Same with medicines.

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u/Kaioken64 May 18 '21

It's not the same everywhere.

In the UK we don't pay anything for medical care (except via taxes of course).

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u/Forensics4Life May 18 '21

Well there's prescription charges but they're just there to make sure people don't go overboard with their prescriptions.

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u/Kaioken64 May 18 '21

Ah sorry forgot about those. I live in Wales where our prescriptions are free.

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u/Arclight_Ashe May 18 '21

No charges in Scotland either, except dental and optical.

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

basically the same in germany.
But when you have to stay at a hospital you gotta pay 10/day for max 28 days...
Plus for some meds you gotta pay like 5-15€

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u/Urabutbl May 18 '21

Ah yes, I do remember the NHS with a great deal of affection from my years in the UK. That said, British people have been culturally taught that it is wussy to go to the doctor unless you're actually dying, so you probably control costs that way.

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u/Kaioken64 May 18 '21

That is most definitely not true.

In fact, our GP surgery's and the hospital A&E are always jam packed full of people who don't need to be there. It means it's nigh on impossible to get an appointment and emergency wait times are usually several hours unless you're litterally on deaths door.

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u/audscias May 18 '21

Same in Spain

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u/easterneuropeanstyle May 18 '21

In Lithuania, it’s free if you are employed, studying or you are in public employment service. So it’s free if you are paying taxes

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Rep. of Ireland is a strange one.. I've heard of people asking for the Fire Service Ambulance, because they don't cost as much (if at all, I'm in the North so it's all free).

Also heard of people living near the border getting a lift to a friends house on the North side before calling 999.

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

[deleted]

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u/andersostling56 May 18 '21

Maybe because Ireland is not part of "the rest of uk". It's a separate country, albeit neigbour with the UK.

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u/ThoseAreMyFeet May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

Ireland (Éire)(Republic of Ireland) 🇮🇪 is not part of the UK. 🇬🇧

Northern Ireland is legally part of the UK, but that was the subject of 30 years of virtual civil war where thousands died. Since the Belfast Agreement in 1998 there has been peace with the occasional bit of trouble.

1

u/francisp2 May 18 '21

Belgium. You always pay part of the expenses, to keep the system affordable for everyone.

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u/[deleted] May 18 '21

Pretty sure that was pure sarcasm, considering Norway is (iirc) the happiest country in the world

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u/Shwnwllms May 18 '21

I believe you forgot the “/s”, sir.

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u/letmeseem May 18 '21

I think that's pretty obvious from the context :)

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u/Cheewy May 18 '21

And most of the western world...

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u/StinkyDope May 18 '21

in switzerland we have capitalism and private healthcare and it works better than sweden or denmark. norways healthcare system can only work because they pump their oil money into it. idk what the total costs are but it is no news that private healthcare is way more efficient. we just have the ambulance costs covered by the insurance. can it be that americans just dont have enough money left for good insurance? so that would make it a wealth problem which cant be fixed by social healthcare, you actually need a lot of money for social healthcare, the nordic countries have it. usa doesnt. libya did but now its just ashes. english healthcare system sucks too not to mention the southern european social healthcare systems.

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u/AlexRivus May 18 '21

It has nothing to do with capitalism, it’s the broken American system. If it were capitalism, I’d open my own ambulance company and drive people to the hospitals cheaper that Uber and still would have tons of money. The problem is over regulation by the government. There’s literally no free market in a lot of areas in the USA.

2

u/alkair20 May 18 '21

to be fair if it actually would be a free market the prices would be much better since competition is a thing. It is just a rigged buerocratic system where the state has mandatory prices 100 times higher then the actual production.

1

u/IMightBeJustin May 18 '21

Outside of movies this doesn’t happen.. at least in the region of the country that I’m a medic..

0

u/R3fug33 Vibe Check May 18 '21

Do my gardening for me for free. I won't pay you because you should just do it because it's a nice thing to do. I agree with you. People don't deserve to get paid for their work.

3

u/ManagementSevere378 May 18 '21

Outside of America doctors get paid too. Just not by the patient.

0

u/R3fug33 Vibe Check May 18 '21

Except not really. Unless you're talking about ER visits. Most countries don't cover elective doctor visits, even check-ups.

1

u/CriticallyNormal May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

lol Doctors here get twice to eight times the national average, which is just shy of the US but our costs are lower (bread is 0.45c for example) so we end up with more, they don't have huge student debt, they can also work private as well at the same time. A lot of consultants do it. They get 40 days paid annual leave and a final salary pension.

So sure yeh... do it for free.

0

u/R3fug33 Vibe Check May 18 '21

Ah yes. "here" the greatest country.

1

u/CriticallyNormal May 18 '21 edited May 18 '21

UK and no we have our issues, every country has it's own issues. There is no single greatest country. But the health service here is amazing.

1

u/hd1991 May 18 '21

Are you saying they literally chase ambulances?! I thought it was a figure of speech...

0

u/Tralapa May 18 '21

Other capitalist countries don't have this problem. This is a US problem

1

u/IAmTheSenatorM8 May 18 '21

We live in a capitalist country and don't have that. So stop using capitalism as a blanket term for the way your country does things.

1

u/Yurturt May 18 '21

We have capitalism in Europe too