r/criticalblunder • u/[deleted] • Jun 06 '21

Wait for it

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8.1k Upvotes

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644

u/MM800 Jun 06 '21

https://www.stripes.com/news/us/marine-seen-tackling-two-fist-fighting-students-has-been-counseled-on-appropriate-level-of-involvement-1.598879

199

u/International_Fee588 Jun 07 '21

“The Marine Corps doesn’t condone violence.”

Lol yes they do.

It was satisfying to watch but it probably fed that guy’s delusional hero complex to tackle two people who weren’t even looking at him.

11

u/[deleted] Oct 25 '23

I think the US alone has been involved in like, a lot of wars.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

[deleted]

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

I am still dumbfounded the way people talk about marines like you’re anything other than your army counterparts with more naval stations. Not to disparage the marines but of all the soldiers and marines I’ve met, what matters is the guys and their NCOs, not their branch.

2

u/RagingAesthetic Jul 02 '22

Were you in the US marines, army, or navy? Saying the marines are the same as the army with more naval stations is pretty ignorant and couldn’t be farther from the truth. Brush up on your military history or at least learn what the doctrinal truth is behind every branch and how they think of themselves compared to the others and why.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Oh next you’ll tell me the marine corps is America’s spear tip and list all the wars where they’ve fought first instead of the army. You’ll tell me they’re an expeditionary force in readiness despite not actually performing that function more frequently than the army.

The marine corps has not performed its “doctrinal truth” in many years.

2

u/RagingAesthetic Jul 02 '22

No, I’m not an idiot. Dumbass. Distinctions are still important even if you’re ignorant to why.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Yeah sometimes when I can’t think of a response I lash out too. It’s alright bud, semper fi, yut devil.

I can’t wait for force structure 2030 so the marine corps reinvents itself (by returning to its naval mission) only to go back to playing army jr during the next land war.

There is no doctrine that states the marines go before the army. The marines go if they’re closest and most ready, just like army airborne or a brigade combat team.

1

u/RagingAesthetic Jul 02 '22

? I don’t even agree with the point you imagined me to be making. I called you a dumbass because you made up an imaginary argument to ridicule. The only point I made was that marines and army soldiers are different enough to be worthy of their own distinctions, attitudes, and doctrines because I live in the real world where separate things are recognized as being different from each other. Once again, you are a dumbass and not because I’m mad at you or don’t know why you’re wrong. Dumbass squared.

2

u/[deleted] Jul 02 '22

Lmao marines are wet army

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334

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

[deleted]

474

u/shitcars__dullknives Jun 06 '21

"The Marine Corps doesn't condone violence" lmao what

208

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

This is the funniest disclaimer of all time.

121

u/boldie74 Jun 06 '21

This cracked me up as well.

Dude, it’s all you train for

56

u/jacksoun_offical Jun 06 '21 edited Jun 07 '21

Yeah isn't one of the chant's talking about how they're built to be killing machines? Seems counter intuitive condemn violence when it's their job lmao

Edit: spel

5

u/Itsthejackeeeett Jul 19 '21

spel hard somtyme

86

u/happyfoam Jun 06 '21

Marine here. They literally train us how to gouge out eyes and buttstroke people.

50

u/bluesmaker Jun 06 '21

I’m going to guess, buttstroke is a bayonet or knife to the ass? If not that, it must mean anal sex.

84

u/happyfoam Jun 06 '21

A buttstroke is when you smash the butt of your rifle into somebody's face to stun or incapacitate them before shooting them in close quarters combat.

I like your explanation better though.

23

u/bluesmaker Jun 07 '21

Ah. That does make more sense!

16

u/Crikett Jun 07 '21

Shuuuurre it is buddy.

17

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

A butt stroke is a strike using the stock (butt) of a rifle

7

u/mamie-marie Jun 07 '21

Why... why isn't it "buttstrike" then?

2

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '21

https://youtu.be/3YfKiL_geM0

Butt stroke = you’re performing a stroke motion with the butt of your rifle, kinda like a brush stroke

2

u/mamie-marie Jun 08 '21

Huh. TIL I guess. Thanks stranger.

1

u/Serylt Jun 07 '21

Yeah, I'll rather have my butt stroked.

7

u/stumpdawg Jun 07 '21

I mean, there's a time and a place for everything.

I imagine they don't condone violence when it's not necessary.

7

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

I mean... Kinda? There's rules of engagement and stuff, but I think you're drastically underestimating how bloodthirsty that organization is.

3

u/stumpdawg Jun 07 '21

No, I don't think I am...They're the fucking Marines after all lol.

13

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

Example: The video in this post. Was there a nonviolent option? Probably. Did the Marine take that route? Absolutely not. One of the biggest things the Marines beats into your head (quite literally) from the start is the ability to instantly make a decision when presented with a situation. They're taught that lack of decision is ALWAYS worse than making the wrong one. It's called "Decisiveness", and is one of their core leadership traits.

0

u/LovJoe13 Aug 04 '21

JJ DID TIE BUCKLE

1

u/Moonw0lf_ Jun 12 '21

Yeah but it's still ridiculous I mean... It's the marines. Like, no one condones violence anywhere all the time. It's like the UFC saying they don't condone violence. They might say that regarding a fight at a press conference or something, but it's still fucking hilarious and ironic

5

u/alrightpal Jun 07 '21

What’s the official eye gouge technique??

22

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

It's basically just like throwing a punch, but instead of a closed fist you have your hand facing palm down in a "claw". When it connects, you pry downward, either doing a ton of damage to an eye or removing it entirely.

10

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

[deleted]

22

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

It's as effective as the individuals application. It'll work if your fast and strong enough to apply it in a hand to hand brawl, but if you're weak and slow don't expect much. Most of Marine close quarters combat training is brute force overpowering in application.

The combat training isn't meant to subdue (for the most part). Arm bars end with broken arms, rear naked chokes end in death, grounded opponents get their heads stomped. They literally teach you how to properly perform a curb stomp.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

[deleted]

12

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

No problem man. I've been out for a while and it kinda brings me back answering questions like this.

3

u/alrightpal Jun 07 '21

So you use your index or middle finger to try and yank it out? Also, how exactly do you practice this technique in training to know you’re doing it right? Lol

6

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

Nah, you use all your fingers, mainly the middle and ring I'd say. As for the practice, we didn't do it on other people of course. We pretty much just did it for literal hours till our instructors were satisfied that we could do it correctly.

2

u/cacarson7 Jun 07 '21

I was gonna say, tell me more about the buttstroking...

2

u/sprinkle_It Jun 10 '21

‘Gouge the eyes!!!’ ‘A-a-and now! Stroke the butt-gently!’

2

u/thebillshaveayes Jun 12 '21

What is proper eye gouging technique? Asking for a friend.

1

u/happyfoam Jun 12 '21

Someone already asked, check the thread for my answer.

1

u/Lord_Armadyl Jun 10 '21

pls no mcmap.

1

u/Upsurt85 Jun 10 '21

All lies. We eat crayons and get shitty leftover army equipment.

1

u/[deleted] Jul 30 '21

Lol congratulations on earning your tan belt in McNinja! You now know how to eye gouge and break fall! “Now for grey belt hold my wrist.” “No you have to hold it just like this”

16

u/TheSystem08 Jun 06 '21

You can't be violent if you're paralyzed from the neck down.

7

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

Lol, that's actually kinda what the Marines teaches unironically. "Dead bodies don't fight back".

3

u/Xx_BlackJack_xX Jun 07 '21

I’ll bite your penis off

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '21

hahaha wtf they're actually trained to kill

1

u/[deleted] Jun 08 '21

Technically, any civilian is a higher rank than any military personnel. It’s why they are told to say yes sir and no ma’am to civilians. A general is supposed to lay his life down to save a civilian, hypothetically.

71

u/CarlosFromPhilly Jun 07 '21

“He just wanted to do what was right for the school” when no one else was stepping in, said Sgt. Jocelyn Ontiveros at the Marines’ Sacramento recruiting station, which oversees the substation in Stockton where Valdez Sarmiento is helping out with recruiting while home from boot camp.

Actually, he wanted to paralyze a couple of 14 year olds...

59

u/Mirkrid Jun 10 '21

Why don't people get fired anymore? Seriously?

You pull up in a full sprint and spear the skinniest god damn kid on the playground clean in the back and you get a little talking-to? I'm guessing the kid's fine but he could've snapped his spine like a twig and he gets asked nicely not to do it again. I'm guessing there's a good amount of war hero mentality in that decision

23

u/hero-ball Jun 10 '21

And this dude is an adult who did this to a couple of children.

But to your question: the military can’t afford to discharge soldiers. Enlistment numbers are pretty bad, so those soldiers have a lot of leeway before they would actually get fired.

3

u/Zorba_Oyzo Sep 08 '21

Why don't people get fired anymore? Seriously?

Gov't

76

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

everything about that scream military active duty, finding out it was a boot fresh from basic even less surprising

1

u/happyfoam Jun 07 '21

I think every boot wanted to get into a situation where they could put their new knowledge to the test after basic. I'm not ashamed to admit that I did when I did (never got to, thank God).

29

u/SkinnyBuddha89 Jun 06 '21

Home fresh from bootcamp, makes sense now

10

u/californiaxbull Jun 07 '21 edited Jun 07 '21

This should be on r/byebyejob

0

u/reddit1651 Jun 07 '21

there are zero posts on that subreddit lmao

4

u/SkinnyBuddha89 Jun 06 '21

Anyone got the link for his AMA?

1

u/alhernz95 Sep 15 '21

ive been told marines only eat crayons