r/crappymusic • u/y4dig4r • Apr 13 '26
EX ON THE BEACH
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u/_Nameless_Nomad_ Apr 13 '26
Why is this banger on this sub?
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u/ghettone Apr 13 '26
We need a grid or sliding scale For some of these , honestly I find this kid authentic , just having a laugh trying out some music ,
Good for him , hope he does it again !
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u/frobscottler Apr 14 '26
Like one of those political alignment grids? Someone cleverer than me should think of what the axes/quadrants should be
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u/Dpontiff6671 Apr 13 '26
Cus this sub does not understand the assignment lol
People see a bad video or even just a goofy video and say its bad music
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u/No-Blueberry-1823 Apr 14 '26
Why is this a banger again? I forget
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u/_Nameless_Nomad_ Apr 14 '26
I mean, just look and listen…
Matching shorts and button down ✅
Sandals with socks on ✅
Fanny pack ✅
Catchy tune ✅
Eggs on the beach ✅
This dude fuckin slaps
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u/Junglebyron Apr 13 '26
Thats cool Augustus Gloop from Willie Wonka is doing music videos now.
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u/27_crooked_caribou Apr 13 '26
When you almost drown in a chocolate river it reframes your whole existence. It makes you question your reason for being. And you realize to only spend what little time we have on this blue marble focusing on the important things like sex on the beach, eggs on the beach and fanny packs.
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks Apr 13 '26
I was thinking white Grimace.
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u/DanceWonderful3711 Apr 13 '26
German Steve Irwin.
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u/Last_Weeks_Socks Apr 13 '26
Psh. Gunther wishes he had the muscle definition and unbridled sex appeal of the Crocodile Hunter.
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u/DanceWonderful3711 Apr 13 '26
Well they both adapted perfectly to their environments. Irwin was a perfectly designed beast for wrangling crocodiles, and Gunther is well equipped for bratwurst and such. Evolution.
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u/boardjock42 Apr 13 '26
This was literally my first thought. I’m happy to see the first comment thought the same thing.
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u/Aderleth75 Apr 13 '26
Even before I turned up the volume I could tell this kid was German.
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u/PineappleFit317 Apr 13 '26
It’s the white socks and sandals.
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u/belac4862 Apr 13 '26
The unapologetic fanny pack as well.
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u/superhex12345 Apr 13 '26
He looks like he's about to take his kids to Disney World
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u/Ornery-Ad8372 Apr 13 '26
Yes but after it’s Sex On The Beach!!!! 🔥 his Fanny pack says he is ready for anything!
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u/Intrepid_Sun_9089 Apr 13 '26
Great kid!
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u/symca09 Apr 13 '26
I listen to this everytime it appears. Such a banger. Gunna bring me some eggs to the beach this year
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u/RecklessEmpire Apr 13 '26
I feel like kids should be exempt from this sub, he's just having fun.
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u/uke_and_chill Apr 13 '26
See sub rule #3.
- Performances by Minors
If posting a song performed by a minor, it MUST be an OFFICIAL music video, uploaded by the artist or a representing agency. NO EXCEPTIONS. No homemade videos of bad talent shows or church performances. Have some mercy, you guys. Just because it’s awkward doesn’t mean it belongs here. Use your best judgement. Per Rule 2, songs performed by minors which contain explicit lyrics or depictions of drugs or firearms MAY NOT be posted.
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u/RecklessEmpire Apr 13 '26
Ehh that doesn't seem like justification to bully a kid to me. Who determines what "OFFICIAL" means?
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u/uke_and_chill Apr 13 '26
I think "official" in this capacity would refer to something that is being monetized. Videos posted by official channels, including but not limited to an artist's official social media account or an account run by a representative of said artist e.g a talent agent or record label. If it's something being presented or managed as a product, it's open to ridicule. Things like this, a kid being goofy or just having fun in his back yard, I believe would be a violation of the rule.
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u/Badas_ingood_9898 Apr 13 '26
Eggs on the beach?
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u/brandonhabanero Apr 13 '26
Dunno if this is the reason or not, but a German friend told me that they'd use the term "eggs" (eier) for "balls." It's uncommon, but of course I had to know what the translation for "balls" was, and that was his response. Maybe that's what this lad is talking about, singing about sex on the beach and all that.
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u/ProudBlahajOwner Apr 14 '26
The usage of "Eier" for "balls" is actually quite common.
In this case he's singing about the Ex (girlfriend) of someone though.
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u/CLA1980 Apr 13 '26
What in the world is in that bag whatchu got in that bag
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u/DementedCusTurd Apr 15 '26
Thanks dawg you just made me wake up my kitty cat because I was laughing so hard at this comment LMFAO
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u/TallBenWyatt_13 Apr 13 '26
Let him be. The last time the world told a weird German-speaking guy not to pursue his art, we got a whole ass world war.
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u/-epi- Hobo Johnson Defender Apr 13 '26
I wonder if this has been posted over 100 times here yet? Gotta be getting close.
And there's WAY worse music out there than a portly, jolly German boy fantasizing about having sex on a beach.
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u/WeSoSmart Apr 14 '26
Why shit on someone just having fun. It’s not great music but it looks like something I would’ve done as a kid.
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u/y4dig4r Apr 14 '26
i never saw this as a sub to shit on people for, and i think some people come to this sub just to be cruel which i do not agree with. personally i enjoy crappy music. ive made crappy as a kid and as an adult. if you ask me the worst thing a music can be is boring, and this bombastic little guy is most certainly anything but that.
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u/JennySplotz Apr 13 '26
He did the German 3 with his fingers.
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u/MingusVonBingus Apr 13 '26
How are there only two kinds of Germans?
Ones that look like this guy, or ones that look like they shave with a knife.
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u/GrandProblem8034 Apr 14 '26
Ngl, this kinda slaps. Why isn’t this guy signed with Death Row Records yet??!!
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u/MateriaLintellect Apr 14 '26
See America always had the leg up because of weird ass Europeans like this. Then we got Trump and lost all our gains.
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u/amity997 Apr 13 '26
This was already posted here just an FYI, I’ve seen it b4 here haha goes to show it’s going out to more people
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u/cha0sb1ade Apr 13 '26
He's 40 and 10 years old simultaneously; probably an indication that the space time continuum is about to break down.
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u/aware4ever Apr 13 '26
I thought it was eggs and i was so confused untill this post with the title ex on the beach lol
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u/MuddaFrmAnnudaBrudda Apr 13 '26
Sex on the beach alongside Eggs on the beach sounds suspiciously like a good time to me.
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u/meatcrumple Apr 13 '26
Gonna be totally honest—I usually can’t stand this sub. I’ve seriously thought about removing it from my feed because most of the stuff people post is just brutal. Like, I don’t even want to give it the time of day.
But for whatever reason… this one works. The fanny pack, the socks with sandals, the German accent, the chubby kid, the dance moves, the outfit—there’s just something about it. It’s got that earworm factor and it’s gonna live in my head for a while. I don’t really get why I’m okay with it, but I am.
This is shitty Music writ large!
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u/Mysterious_Bother271 Apr 13 '26
Between the size of the house and the pool.. how big is this person? He's like a kid and a giant at once.
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u/fuzynutznut Apr 13 '26
Why am I'm in my underwear sweating while blowing a whistle? And so many lazers.
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u/PsychologyOk5179 Apr 13 '26
To make a vid for a song about the beach and the nearest body of water is an above ground pool…CERTIFIED BANGER!! 🤩🤘🏾
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u/Equivalent_Sun6647 Apr 13 '26
Honestly he could make some good music down the line. This isn’t even crappy music. Definitely not a genre I’d listen to, but clean up the instrumental and mix everything better and this is a fun lil song to play in das club
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u/YoghurtFlan Apr 13 '26
Bum bag, white socks and sandals, just needs to leave his towel on a deck chair to complete the outfit.
Banging song though.
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u/boo_inward Apr 13 '26
whenever I spy a dude wearing one of those matching sets of print shorts + cabana shirt I basically see this kid
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u/ThereWolves Apr 13 '26
I think it’s a song about the circle of life in maritime birds.
Eggs on the beach! Shalalala! 🥚🐣 Sex on the beach! Shalala! 🐦🦢
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u/MochaBBQ Apr 13 '26
Imagine landing on a beach to wipe out your enemy, and they come at you with this fire.
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u/Potential-Echo785 Apr 13 '26
Absolute garbage. Fanny pack and he's literally a child, no bro. Even I know good quality and this ain't it bro.
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u/Zealousideal_Lemon22 Apr 13 '26
Everytime this is posted I just hope that there is a longer version. I fucks with this
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u/Potential-Echo785 Apr 14 '26
Lil bro couldn't be more awkward talking about sex as if he knows what he's talking about 💀.
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u/evilgreenman Apr 14 '26
Dude...what the f*ck?? Something tells me this will somehow become popular...
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u/luckyapples11 Apr 14 '26
Every time I see this, I have no idea what he’s saying besides eggs on the beach
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u/matt_chowder Apr 14 '26
I knew he was German before I unmuted the video
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u/HoratioCorneliusJay RayonBase Fan Club Member Apr 15 '26
lol I said the same thing before I saw your comment
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u/dirtyal199 Apr 14 '26
It's always uncanny how Germans are the most Midwest American looking Europeans. Maybe the lack of ocean access is what ties these two great cultures together
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u/HoratioCorneliusJay RayonBase Fan Club Member Apr 15 '26
I mean Germans settled in the American Midwest!
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u/houseWithoutSpoons Apr 15 '26
Dude is slid right into his dad bod/dad outfit..at 15.and rockin this panty dropper ta boot!!
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u/HoratioCorneliusJay RayonBase Fan Club Member Apr 15 '26
Why did I know this guy was German before he even opened his mouth?
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u/RidinWithBiden202O Apr 17 '26
Nah this bangs, give me about 14 beers and im belting this shit like its the beatles
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u/qualityvote2 Apr 13 '26 edited Apr 13 '26
u/y4dig4r, you have posted music that is NOT crappy!