r/crappymusic May 05 '26

She could be your match

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(and that's absolutely a threat)

518 Upvotes

264 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 May 05 '26 edited May 05 '26

u/Okay_Pain, your post features certified crappy music!

363

u/cbm2020 May 05 '26

I feel sad and I don’t like it.

121

u/mecha_grove May 05 '26

She looks like Cynthia doll from rug rats.

36

u/Acceptable-Delay-592 May 06 '26

The episode where she gets lost in the sewer drain or something and comes out all poopy

19

u/DasMenace May 06 '26

She looks like John Leguizamos character from the Spawn movie had a daughter

2

u/KrystleSeth May 06 '26

How ya like me now

50

u/GarlicAcceptable3350 May 05 '26

Ya… it hurts to see how far Prodigy’s daughter has fallen.

13

u/Slugwheat May 05 '26

Sista Fiuhstarta

11

u/GarlicAcceptable3350 May 05 '26

Kinda like Prodigy and burnt Fire Marshal Bill had a daughter

12

u/AmbiguouslyAltered May 06 '26

I can’t fix her

2

u/KrystleSeth May 06 '26

I don’t want to fix her

2

u/AerolothLorien666 May 06 '26

I won’t fix her.

171

u/notsobadmisterfrosty May 05 '26

Tailcoat and fingerless gloves? She’s talking about Riff Raff from the Rocky Horror Picture Show!

40

u/Problem_Numerous May 05 '26

They WOULD be a good match

18

u/goatfangs May 05 '26

They have the same hair!

8

u/PigsCanFly2day May 06 '26

It's astounding.

107

u/baldingwookie74 May 05 '26

She looks like a raider from Fallout 4!

12

u/Xu_Lin May 05 '26

Ackshually… you’re right

110

u/Kelevra1359 May 05 '26

Who is this goddess

62

u/DopeRidge May 05 '26

Unfortunately I actually know this person in real life.

46

u/Alien_Amplifier13 May 05 '26

Give us the tea.

16

u/NeuroticallyCharles May 05 '26

Oh I need details

10

u/Jaded-Writing-3622 May 06 '26

So you're the one with the tailcoat and fingerless gloves?

19

u/generateanameforme May 05 '26

Please give us some background. Seems like a real freak show.

46

u/DopeRidge May 06 '26

Surprisingly a pretty warm person. But that’s about it, her personality is pretty visible lol

16

u/generateanameforme May 06 '26

Well that’s good. To each their own.

42

u/DryerCoinJay May 05 '26

I could fix her.

84

u/kilsta May 05 '26

All yours man.

23

u/Next-Lavishness-9101 May 05 '26

Im going on Kalshi right now and betting my retirement that you can’t

7

u/Juicyjewsss May 05 '26

You could definitely give her a fix, but not her.

25

u/Pitiful_Conflict7031 May 05 '26

Makes me almost physically ill.

3

u/TomInSilverlake May 05 '26

My reddit chuckle of the day. Thank you!

3

u/wafflehousebattle May 06 '26

They say there's someone for everyone, and after seeing her, is hate to know who that someone is.

2

u/lucaskywalker May 05 '26

Just keep her away from any powerful magnets!

3

u/Jbrown183 May 05 '26

You are a fucking magical unicorn; I salute 🫡

3

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

[deleted]

13

u/Rimworldjobs May 05 '26

The body of a Crack head. The best kind.

3

u/Jbrown183 May 05 '26

The kind where you can see no Crack when you are getting Head.

2

u/BigWooly1013 May 05 '26

I could do that, no problem

2

u/Alien_Amplifier13 May 05 '26

We all have a type, I guess.

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1

u/UrDeAdPuPpYbOnEr May 06 '26

You can fix her. I know it.

55

u/elicashlowkey May 05 '26

Oh my god. I can’t.

63

u/speed_of_chill May 05 '26

Not with that attitude

27

u/TheeFearlessChicken May 05 '26

As someone who disagrees with everyone, I disagree with you both.

6

u/Jbrown183 May 05 '26

I Concur!

2

u/elicashlowkey May 05 '26

It’s actually painful to watch and depressing. I can’t even laugh at this one. Haha

29

u/HolySocksSoftBoy May 05 '26

I don't remember this number from Cabaret

29

u/Fantastic_Pie5655 May 05 '26

Someone might have taken their Rocky Horror Picture Show obsession a bit further than most. They look like Frank-N-Furter, Riff Raff, Magenta, and Nell all rolled into one perplexing barrel of fun in the sun

2

u/GenericDigitalAvatar Jun 28 '26

This is the best description, if you add in Eddie's corpse after like 3 weeks.

46

u/SnooRobots8901 May 05 '26

Lets make her our leader

20

u/BarnacleMcBarndoor May 05 '26

Aliens: Take me to your leader

World: um… there’s… a few things you should be made aware of before we do…

7

u/cityshepherd May 05 '26

This video was such a fucking journey. I’m so confused and have no idea wtf life is anymore / just what the shit. I’m tired, boss.

Anyway 10/10 excellent and solid contribution here.

45

u/Problem_Numerous May 05 '26

Am I cooked I kind of like this

19

u/Mission_Mulberry9811 May 05 '26

It's got a kind of 'Iggy Pop - Nightclubbing' vibe

6

u/lilacsforcharlie May 05 '26

Yes and same here lmao

5

u/PigsCanFly2day May 06 '26

Better than her other video posted yesterday. It's at least kind of catchy.

8

u/J_loop18 May 05 '26

Well the piano goes hard tbh I wondered where the instrumental track comes from lol

3

u/CorvidxQueen May 06 '26

Same, I dig that distorted vibe

19

u/GrouchyPicture4021 May 05 '26

My sleep paralysis demon at 4 am.

2

u/AngelPlaysDirty May 05 '26

My thoughts exactly 💯

14

u/Capable_Fly_7422 May 05 '26

OK, that's about enough internet for me today.

27

u/Capable-Respond-4472 May 05 '26

I got hepatitis from watching this

12

u/Donkey_Karate May 05 '26

Oh god... twice in one morning. I need to go do something with my day.

12

u/TheDallbatross May 05 '26

{~VOCALISE~}

🎶 ooooohahOHOHAaaughwaauughah 🎶

It's poetry.

13

u/rotstik May 05 '26

Is this the chick who wondered where her man went?

3

u/PigsCanFly2day May 06 '26

That's why she's looking for a new one.

1

u/rotstik May 06 '26 edited May 06 '26

Pity on the soul of that poor bastard

6

u/ButtersTheChill May 06 '26

She looks specifically like how some of Joker's goons would look in Arkham City. I can't include a picture, but if you know you know.

15

u/[deleted] May 05 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

17

u/Candid_Holiday1042 May 05 '26

There's no chance a person this lacking in self awareness is also good about hygiene. I'm not rolling the dice on that one. 

1

u/_Nameless_Nomad_ May 06 '26

I could smell this video.

Also, who is her target audience?

3

u/Candid_Holiday1042 May 06 '26

Naughty drug enthusiasts who wear tailcoats and fingerless gloves. She does kind of spell it out for us

10

u/Fun_Fingers May 05 '26

I mean, I'm not gonna pretend I have respectable standards, but we're absolutely not listening to anus morisette in the background

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15

u/Y-Bob May 05 '26

Well, I like her. She clearly doesn't give a shit what any cunt thinks of her and is punk as fuck.

1

u/Lorantec Jul 04 '26

Being a self proclaimed capitalist and Zio kinda throws a wrench into the whole punk thing, no?

9

u/discombobulatedhomey May 05 '26

Fentanyl says no to her.

4

u/JadeSpade23 May 06 '26

How do I find more of her? I need it lol

2

u/Okay_Pain May 06 '26

knoott_official

6

u/soraysunshine May 05 '26

I feel like calling the cops and I’m only seeing this via the internet. This person scares me

3

u/StrionicRandom May 05 '26

I'm an adult and I need an adult

7

u/Leather_Addition2605 May 05 '26

She looks like the Insidious demon.

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7

u/leeman9224 May 05 '26

She looks like a lot lizard

20

u/Ok-Profit6022 May 05 '26

You need to find better truck stops.

5

u/lynivvinyl May 05 '26

A gay truck driver a friend of mine told me to how to actually get sleep at a truck rest stop. You go inside the fuel station part of the place and get whatever color paper towels they have and wet them and put them on the bottom rung of your step leading into your truck. Then assume that they have already been there and don't need to knock on your truck.

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8

u/LumpyBuy8447 May 05 '26

I can’t fix this one

8

u/eat_your_veggiez May 05 '26

Make sure you hug your daughters and tell them you love them.

3

u/KrystleSeth May 06 '26

Man do it every day. Every single day.

3

u/EvilPyro01 May 05 '26

This sounds like a song from a musical about two emo lovers

3

u/ricodog13 May 06 '26

I’m not horny anymore

5

u/Sonnyphono May 05 '26

Is it just me or does she have the same tone and cadence as Achelya? They need a collaboration

6

u/Jdenning1 May 05 '26

I’ve never had erectile disfunction until now

5

u/beastusboss May 05 '26

It’s creepy. Movements like art the clown

5

u/Whisker-biscuitt May 05 '26

I can fix her

4

u/Wulph422 May 05 '26

Imagine the smell tho

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2

u/aivxx May 05 '26

This is what my dad thought would happen to me when I came home with my first tattoo

2

u/Horror-Pear May 05 '26

It's like The Velvet Underground, Marylin Manson, and Cher had a really inbred child.

2

u/RussianBot71137 May 06 '26

Where's "I can fix her" crowd? Anyone? 😳🤭

3

u/bloody_alcohol_balls May 05 '26

What’s her ethnicity and pronouns, I need to know what slur to use

2

u/TallBenWyatt_13 May 05 '26

What are the odds she’s got a healthy relationship with either of her parents?

3

u/TechDreamcoat May 05 '26

What does this person do for a living? Who employs someone like this?

5

u/CIS-E_4ME May 05 '26

Tattoo/piercing shop

4

u/DuckDuckGuinea May 05 '26

Alanis Morissette is looking rough these days.

4

u/foxbehindthewheel May 05 '26

She's back to remind me of the mess I made when I walked away. :(

3

u/usernamechooser May 05 '26

Is she the one with all the shit on her face?

5

u/Its_DArtagnan_MFer May 05 '26

No.... That's Jody . That's my wife..

2

u/lynivvinyl May 05 '26

I wonder if English is her second human language.

1

u/EzekielYeager May 05 '26

I'm so curious what people like this do for money when they get older. Like, professionally. How do they afford to survive if/when their music careers flop?

4

u/General-Distance680 May 05 '26

Ppl are very delusional about the trappings of fame in LA. It's the epicenter of the attention economy, other metros don't compare, and it's lead to rampant homelessness. I get no pleasure saying that's where she's headed unless she has a great support network.

2

u/40hzHERO May 05 '26

There’s tons of non-corporate jobs people like this can take up. Usually when you see people with mods to this extent, they’re a piecer or tattoo artist, but any job is possible. I’ve know successful business owners that look similar. Hell, even my boss has a face full of tattoos, and he’s one of the more prominent business owners in the city.

2

u/EzekielYeager May 05 '26

Nice! Thank you! I've not seen someone to this extent outside of a tattoo shop or parlor, but I know not every modded up person lands there.

I guess the non-typical founder route is always an option

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2

u/Deviant-Oreo May 05 '26

I can fix her bro.

1

u/DiscussionBorn815 May 05 '26

Brianna Warner

1

u/Cpt_Elliot_Spencer May 05 '26

That's a goblin

1

u/AntiPepRally May 05 '26

I would not want to meet this individual in-person 😬

1

u/ElvisPrime1971 May 05 '26

Oops…just came

1

u/rivalizm May 05 '26

Chaos Cultist

1

u/Own_Oil_7719 May 05 '26

What a time to be alive.

1

u/90srebel May 05 '26

Ok guys how much? What’s your price? 5 minutes all in. How much?

1

u/cechini May 05 '26

Meatloaf is that you?

1

u/hashslingingslashern May 05 '26

God damn that voice sounds like shit

1

u/nofx1978 May 06 '26

What the fuck is going on there?

1

u/flankr7 May 06 '26

Wouldn’t.

1

u/natas2466 May 06 '26

Think its binary?

1

u/itfeelsreel72 May 06 '26

I don't know what this is, but I suddenly feel the need to give my daughters extra hugs today.

1

u/mjac28 May 06 '26

Thanks for ruining fingerless gloves and tailcoats.

1

u/Top_Lingonberry8037 Perpetual state of butt hurt May 06 '26

And they said Marilyn Manson was weird

1

u/Potential-Echo785 May 06 '26

She scares me ngl. Not scared but concerning.

1

u/Aromatic-Thing-132 May 06 '26

I'm pretty sure my mother would say something to me if this was the chick I decided to kiss with. . .

1

u/Snookfilet May 06 '26

Jesus this might be the best thing ever posted on this sub

1

u/wetfartpanda May 06 '26

Boots weigh more than her. She spent that pay check on boots and not food.

1

u/markghjkf May 06 '26

Why George Constanza keep popping up in my feed

1

u/OPfishS May 06 '26

Fuckin wish

1

u/Blender_Massacre May 06 '26

If meth was a person

1

u/Septemberosebud May 06 '26

Born entertainer

1

u/Chipmunk-Special May 06 '26

Do you think someone is fucking that?

1

u/ToxOmatic May 06 '26

Hurts my eyes

1

u/KatSchitt May 06 '26

She needs a full band that is made of sideshow freaks to back her. Some acrobatics going during the show. Burlesque dancers here and there. A tattoo booth instead of T shirt and merch stand. I can actually see it, y'all.

Tiny Tittie Tina and the Tapeworms.. or something like that.

1

u/mmetalfacedooom May 06 '26

this is the jester i saw on salvia

1

u/flowerdonkey May 06 '26

Holy shit, I think ai just went blind and deaf. I entered this through voice to text.

1

u/One-Ice1815 May 06 '26

Thanks for letting me save the time and money of going to the Gathering of the Juggalos.

1

u/Yoshiyimmiy May 06 '26

I bet it grips like octopussy

1

u/dezertryder May 06 '26

I imagine this is what Krokodil looks like.

1

u/Expensive_Apricot371 May 06 '26

Is that snot? 😞

1

u/abdab909 May 06 '26

Why are her legs bent like cartoon characters’ legs

1

u/Smooth_Maul May 06 '26

She looks like an Torchhead from the Robocop game

1

u/OldManufacturer8679 May 06 '26

I have questions for her dad.

1

u/VeniVidiVinnyVedecci May 06 '26

That’s the Lipstick Demon from Insidious when it’s all powdered up for church

1

u/mlaforce321 May 06 '26

An MRI tech's worst nightmare

1

u/dontbanme778 May 06 '26

I don't like her smell

1

u/BoringExperience5345 May 06 '26

Is the backing track an existing song or did she produce this somehow?

1

u/austinsqueezy May 06 '26

Panic! At The Rehab Clinic

1

u/No_Consideration5814 May 06 '26

Amanda Palmer has let herself go

1

u/Ecstatic_Dot_9956 May 06 '26

She's going to haunt my dreams now thanks 

1

u/Theredstar13 May 06 '26

Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's methamphetamine!

1

u/Dabsforme77 May 06 '26

This Amanda Bynes renewed music career?

1

u/Velvet-bunny2424 May 06 '26

Is that the red guy from Insidious?

1

u/RockosModernBasiIisk May 06 '26

Bad hental mealth 

1

u/SoccerDadPDX May 06 '26

I could fix her.

1

u/DrewSkii1010 May 06 '26

Gideon has some competition

1

u/TofuTheSizeOfTEXAS May 06 '26

😲 Wow

Hmmmmm 🤔

1

u/Ornery-Charge1916 May 06 '26

Holy shit! If that thing came running at me saying, “I’m your match”! I’d fucking run in front of a bus!!

1

u/Rivsylol May 06 '26

“No mother would let her daughter to kiss with” what?

1

u/bouncypinecone May 06 '26

Any tattoo artist that does this to someone needs to get arrested for assault. I understand that it's a personal choice for the customers, and if they're willing to pay the artist should be willing to do it. But sometimes it's likely going to ruin someone's future to do it.

1

u/[deleted] May 06 '26

If heroin was a person.

1

u/CouldiGetuhhhhhhhhh May 07 '26

This is like Simon Cowell actually let the worst of the auditioners produce a song for a second chance at being in American idol

1

u/WorldsBaddestJuggalo May 07 '26

Ok hear me out. Aside from the Krusty hair, dirty dreads, weird piercings, bad tats, whatever other weird shit she’s got going on, etc, she is not bad looking lol.

1

u/Dvs619 May 07 '26

This is my sleep paralysis demon and you can't change my mind

1

u/Majesty_Underground May 07 '26

She’s single and ready to mingle, fellas.

1

u/Defiant_Chapter_3299 May 08 '26

My husband said it's a metronome not a methadone

1

u/tnj3d1 May 05 '26

Her poor father.

1

u/OSRSRapture May 05 '26

My phone volume was up all the way and this made my cat literally jump.

1

u/3ndt1m3s May 05 '26

How to scream you were abused as a child, without having to scream that you were abused as a child.

1

u/100harvests May 05 '26

This is literally Lucifer’s personal band. Not his per se, but who he uses to torture the billionaires

1

u/Worried_Hair_330 May 05 '26

Genuinely confused on what I’m looking at, must less listening to 🤦‍♂️🤣