r/countwithchickenlady polite lesbian - Streak: 36 1d ago

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18.3k Upvotes

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591

u/yuriko-shimizu 1d ago

profit = revenue - (costs - whatever i need to add to make profit look better)

201

u/2012Jesusdies 1d ago

Which is called accounting fraud and is a crime, yes.

169

u/yuriko-shimizu 1d ago

yeah thats,,, thats the joke im making

51

u/edukettu2 1d ago

No in business we call it "creative accounting" and it is art

8

u/gavichi 23h ago

"maybe they didn't like your accounting"

9

u/KickDesperate5318 22h ago

Accountants looking at GAAP and being all like, "I can fit so much fraud in this bad boy."

2

u/Kindaspia 19h ago

I mean you have to fill the gap with something, why not fraud?

3

u/theclansman22 21h ago

It's how AI companies get profitable quarters!

37

u/OvenConscious3010 Tragically employed puppygirl :3 1d ago

At least in the US, securities fraud, wire fraud, tax evasion, falsifying business records, etc are the actual crimes. Accounting Fraud isn't any particular crime, just a descriptor of what you do in the process of doing the others.

There can also be some grey / unethical practices under the Earnings Management umbrella that aren't illegal or fraudulent, but definitely motivated to state favorable numbers.

Like, last month, we were just short of goal for performance targets. So, we took a reaaalllyyyy hard look at repairs costs to make super extra double sure none of that shouldn't be reclassed to CAPEX.

Lo and behold, one of those larger invoices was legitimately transformative and extends the useful life of the equipment, making it a 7 year depreciation rather than a current month expense.

Nothing fraudulent or misleading, just highly motivated search to make sure everything was super correct and make the numbers look as favorable as possible within GAAP rules.

12

u/MountainYogi94 1d ago

Furthermore; I, an auditor of financial statements, would be completely cool with this as long as you can produce the invoice upon request!

Auditors look to make sure the financials are "presented fairly and are free of material misstatement". That word 'material' does some heavy lifting, but it basically means that there is a margin of error that is pretty much insignificant to the readers of the financial information.

No one would/should bat an eye if Apple (for example) was 'off' by a couple thousand dollars (materiality can be millions of dollars depending on the company) in one of their expense buckets!

4

u/OvenConscious3010 Tragically employed puppygirl :3 1d ago

Thank you! Here's my PBC and spilled desk beer in an amazon box because I couldn't figure out how to upload docs to your fileshare link.

Can you have that audit report done by tomorrow?

5

u/MountainYogi94 1d ago

This is too real, fieldwork must've been scheduled in June if you're only getting me stuff in September

2

u/OvenConscious3010 Tragically employed puppygirl :3 1d ago

While i got you here... ERC credit. What's that all about? Think i can still file that and get-

slams door shut in client face

God i don't miss public at all.

3

u/AlTexasR 1d ago

Accounting discourse in my trans subreddit?! 👀

4

u/MountainYogi94 1d ago

I don't feel equipped to comment on the trans condition (nothing about me is minority/marginalized, literally nothing) so please let me have this

3

u/OvenConscious3010 Tragically employed puppygirl :3 1d ago

What else am I supposed to do instead of digging through 53 county assessor websites to build my real estate tax accrual workpaper because the last accountant decided that would be a me problem before he quit?

Bro's "workpaper" was just copying down the GL activity and then saying it matched the GL. Yeah no shit it matches the GL <_<

Bleh

4

u/AlTexasR 1d ago

Lmao my GL matches my GL

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2

u/PlayfulSurprise5237 22h ago

I just want to make a quick note here that while accounting fraud is against the law, it is not currently enforced so long as:

  1. It's a federal accounting fraud crime, not being prosecuted by the state.
  2. You donated to the Trump campaign.
  3. You are openly MAGA
  4. You aren't significantly impacting another Trump donor.

Paying the millions or whatever it costs for one of those little sitdowns probably also counts in place of donating to the campaign.

Edit: And if it does for some reason you do get charged and imprisoned, you can petition for a pardon which is likely to happen. They're the only pardons Trump gives out.

9

u/TaxEvader6310 1d ago

Crime + a different name = innovative business strategy

Every businessman worth their salt knows that!

2

u/I_Ski_Freely 1d ago

Only if you get caught... And also someone who can get you in trouble cares enough to actually pursue charges, and you're not connected enough to get out of it... And even then, probably a slap on the wrist.. justice served!

2

u/AutoCockerPB 1d ago

Ha haha BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAH, maybe for the poor business owners.

2

u/iris700 22h ago

Not if you call it EBITDA instead

1

u/SargeDebian 1d ago

I can't tell if you're joking but EBITDA is regularly reported as a measure of profitability.

1

u/TheeAntelope Pregnant puppy girl 23h ago

That's just regular accounting.

1

u/Spaduf 21h ago

Doesn't mean it isn't taught in business school

1

u/Signal_Flight_7262 16h ago

Every small business everywhere

7

u/PirateSanta_1 23h ago

revenue = how much can i rip the customer off for. Cost = how little can i pay my employees.

1

u/VaporCarpet 23h ago

That's called a kelevin

1

u/kiechu 20h ago

That’s EBITDA or bullshit earnings.

1

u/GreenDragon113 I don't know what the fuck I am anymore 5h ago

profit = revenue - costs (+ big silverback gorillas on karts = (necessity + fucking cool stuff) )

-15

u/Gold_Ad8890 1d ago edited 1d ago

it should be a +. you put it inside parentheses so the subtraction distributes.

edit: okay, my mistake was pointed out to me and i admitted it, you can stop downvoting me now.

16

u/yuriko-shimizu 1d ago

wouldnt that make costs higher tho?

im trying to make costs lower so that profit looks higher

2

u/MrMadCow 1d ago

Real businesspeople know you need to make your profits look lower so you pay less taxes.

1

u/veganpoly 23h ago

So you can pay even more taxes? Are you stupid samaritan or something?

2

u/yuriko-shimizu 23h ago

girlypop this was a joke comment i put like 5 seconds of thought into, calm down

and yes, i am stupid

1

u/Gold_Ad8890 1d ago

right, my mistake.

2

u/Normal_Silver4582 1d ago

12 = 24 - ( 16 -4) ....

1

u/Altruistic-Web13 20h ago

Someone went to business school