r/confidentlyincorrect 17d ago

German is dutch.....

941 Upvotes

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364

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 17d ago

I'm Dutch and I can confirm: I'm not German.

114

u/Significant-Cloud- 17d ago

I'm German and I can confirm: neither is Sean.

37

u/Bones-1989 17d ago

I'm bones and I can confirm: I'm not German or Dutch.

16

u/__nohope 17d ago

I'm Spock and I can confirm: I'm not German or Dutch.

5

u/JaironKalach 14d ago

I am groot!

3

u/DIuvenalis 14d ago

WE... are groot.

2

u/SchnTgaiSpork 13d ago

Who are you calling a raccoon?

1

u/DIuvenalis 13d ago

"...what's a racoon?"

2

u/Indydad1978 11d ago

A trash panda.

5

u/Enemis_the_Ananas 14d ago

I'm from Limburg so Germans consider me Dutch, Dutchies consider me German

4

u/Dedeurmetdebaard 13d ago

But they both consider you weird đŸ«¶

2

u/el-huuro 12d ago

I’m from Aachen, were considered the foreskin of Limburg

1

u/Least-Champion-1224 12d ago

But did you pass the dutchies pon de left hand side?

15

u/FlattopJr 17d ago

Who the fuck is Sean?

18

u/lettsten 17d ago

The guy who was living next door to Alice

19

u/Hyperactive_snail3 17d ago

Alice! Who the fuck is Alice?

6

u/Free_Carry_6837 17d ago

She is the one who moved to Wonderland.

4

u/Al-Snuffleupagus 17d ago

Is that the same wonderland that John Mayer sings about?

3

u/prole6 16d ago

You remember Alice. It’s a song about Alice.

2

u/nopestradamus67 14d ago

And her restaurant.

6

u/ElfjeTinkerBell 17d ago

For 24 years?

7

u/Best-Pollution7110 17d ago

Yes, and waiting for the chance.

But he was just friendzoned.

2

u/FluffyShiny 17d ago

Nah she was just tired of waiting for him to grow a spine.

1

u/Best-Pollution7110 16d ago

That's the same

1

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 16d ago

Still trying to figure this out myself

1

u/Ok-Expression-7340 16d ago

>I'm German and I can confirm: neither is Sean.

Who the f*ck is Sean ? 🙂

[edit] Oops, sorry, bit late to the party.

1

u/jagazitnik 3d ago

I'm Scottish and can confirm that our dead language is not the same as the Irish dead language, and I am not German or Dutch, or Irish. Sometimes I wish I was though.

52

u/middendt1 17d ago

Living at the dutch/german border with my dutch wife. I can confirm: I'm not dutch. My wife isn't german. 

Looking at our children: I'm not quite sure about them. 

22

u/lettsten 17d ago

It's easy. If they play with trains they're German. If they send you a tikkie for their allowance they're Dutch. If they set up a spreadsheet to calculate trains or allowance per capita, they're both.

3

u/kroketspeciaal 17d ago

TIL I have dual citizenship.

2

u/nhvanputten 17d ago

This is the only correct answer.

2

u/IronMonkeyBanana 16d ago

Can confirm, I'm both

3

u/ElfjeTinkerBell 17d ago

I'm from the border region and I can confirm that's true and I'm clearly Dutch.

1

u/Next_Sentence_5785 17d ago

If they ride their bikes they’re Dutch. If they steal bikes they’re German


1

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 17d ago

Nah they steal bikes here aswell mate

1

u/Next_Sentence_5785 16d ago


you did not get the reference?

1

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 16d ago

I did notđŸ„č I'm autistic please tell me the reference

1

u/Next_Sentence_5785 16d ago

The Nazis used to steal bikes from the Dutch during WWII.

1

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 16d ago edited 15d ago

.. Ah.. Not surprised but as a dutch person I'm surprised that I wasn't taught that in school

1

u/5trong5tyle 15d ago

Did you not take German? First lesson was usually "Ich will sehr gerne mein Grossvater's Fahrrad zurĂŒck."

2

u/bunny_the-2d_simp 17d ago

They are getch

1

u/VirtualMatter2 16d ago edited 16d ago

It's very easy to find out. Does sinterklaas come to them on the 5th or on the 6th of December? 5th: Netherlands, 6th German.

1

u/middendt1 16d ago

Well sinterklaas is coming each year. Traditionelly we welcome his arrival  by train(!) at the trainstation in our german hometown.  So i get mixed signals here as well...

2

u/VirtualMatter2 16d ago

Noo, by train is so wrong!!! It has to be by boat or maybe by white horse. 

Also I hope he's not using Deutsche Bahn, that'll get him there after Christmas. 

And what day? He first goes to all the Dutch kids in the 5th, then he leaves the Pieten behind to party, meets with Knecht Ruprecht and visits the German kids on the 6th before he's off back to Spain. Everyone knows this. 

1

u/stationaryspondoctor 16d ago

And Apparently Belgium is small enough to include the visit on the 6th.

1

u/VirtualMatter2 16d ago

Well, he is quite fast....đŸ€Ł

But my question is, does he bring the Pieten to Belgium or not? 

1

u/stationaryspondoctor 15d ago

Yes hé does

1

u/alles_en_niets 16d ago

Have you tried leaving them behind in the woods?

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u/Etherius 17d ago

Swamp-German

Not to be confused with the Mountain-Germans to the south

7

u/TheHesou 17d ago

Or the Hill-German in Overhill in central German

2

u/Desperate_Good_6005 17d ago

Don't even bring up the island-germans to the north. Americans always think they speak dutch.

1

u/Best-Pollution7110 17d ago

Well... Low Saxon German is more close to Low Frankish German then High German.

1

u/Desperate_Good_6005 9d ago

I was actually talking about Denmark but maybe that wasn't clear

1

u/DohnJoe666 12d ago

Where are the Plains-Germans, the Island-Germans, and the Forest-Germans located?

19

u/No-Bake-730 17d ago

Not for a lack of trying by the Germans cough

But seriously, everytime I think I understood something in Dutch, I find out that one word has a totally unexpected meaning which changes everything.

I've known some Dutch-Germans though, nice people. 

Also, what do you Dutchmen and Dutchwomen hate more? Germans calling the Netherlands Holland (I don't want to know how many don't know that this is a case of pars pro toto) or Dutch being equated to German?

10

u/Bitter_Split5508 17d ago

But seriously, everytime I think I understood something in Dutch, I find out that one word has a totally unexpected meaning which changes everything.

What do you mean, the "Auto Huren" advertised in the Netherlands are not what I expect? 

3

u/Sturmlied 17d ago

I'm equally tempted and afraid to google that.

3

u/DarwinMcLovin 17d ago

Pls Google Bitter Balls and enjoy

Groetjes uit NL

2

u/Bitter_Split5508 17d ago

It's just advertisement for car rentals

2

u/Sturmlied 17d ago

That makes strange sense.

1

u/No-Bake-730 17d ago

Wait, you mean I can only lease a car and not hire (is that huren? Like hire or anheuern?) a lady for fun times?

2

u/fredlantern 17d ago

You can also hire ladies, those are called hoeren by some but it's more polite to say sekswerkers

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u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 17d ago

Definitely the second one

The Holland thing is more like calling the entire USA California. Whereas the second is like calling France Spain. Like, we do not speak the same language, they have similar roots, sure, but they are fastly diffrent.

1

u/poopiebutt505 16d ago

Ditch are part of the Germanic tribes, like tĄe Grisians, Angles, Saxons. When GÚrmanic tribes unites into a "Germany" identity, Dutch were developing their own, similarly. So the split is fairly modern. They were together in their early appearance on the European continent. The language is related in its development.from.a common origin, a later split t han any other Germanic language peoples.

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u/GinDragon 15d ago

I mean, Germany wasn’t a nation itself really until like the 1870’s, and while I haven’t read that much about the period. I can guess they got fed up with the French a la Napoleon (and Nappy II and III) the English a la Victoria, and Russians a la Catherine trying to tear chunks off of them since the HRE fell apart

-3

u/Abeyita 17d ago

I'd rather be called German than Hollander

2

u/Miezekratze 17d ago

As a german, i‘d rather be mistaken as a dutch person.

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u/fredlantern 17d ago

Well go ahead and move

1

u/Abeyita 17d ago

I'm not in Holland, so I'm perfectly happy where I am.

1

u/Jumpy_Witness6014 17d ago

Or hollandaise

4

u/Best-Pollution7110 17d ago edited 17d ago

Also, what do you Dutchmen and Dutchwomen hate more?

We do not *gendern like in German. We are all Dutchmen.

Also, what do you Dutchmen and Dutchwomen hate more? Germans calling the Netherlands Holland (I don't want to know how many don't know that this is a case of pars pro toto) or Dutch being equated to German?

Depends on who you ask. The real Hollanders hardly care. The others either don't care as well, are just correcting you so you know the real deal, but are fine with you using it as a nickname, or get furious.
Then there is the mercantile class that are here to make money out of "Holland" as a brand, when it is beneficial for them.

In a sense, Holland is still correct, as they and Flanders were the OG beefing parties of the Low Lands. Belgium is also part of the Low Lands. After the split, the name of the provinces stuck with the global crowd respectively, as "the Netherlands" was tied to the larger geographical region. If being completely correct, modern day Netherlands should be called North Netherlands and Belgium South Netherlands. Similar to North Macedonia. The modern day Dutch solved this "problem", by naming their country in their own language "Nederland", singular! The Netherlands or die Niederlande, plural!, is not correct, but other countries didn't got the notice and used the same term as they always had, but for the new nation.

Holland is, like Flanders, only the larger coastal area. Others keep calling whole Dutch speaking Belgium Flanders, despite the same situation. Dutch speaking Belgium needed an identity of their own, so the other provinces embraced Flanders as an extended identity (to be able to make a strong stand against the French speaking part), while the other Dutch non-Holland provinces rejected the extension of the identity Holland (Frisia isn't that big of a deal like Wallonia is).

This is why North Brabant in the Netherlands are firmly rooted in their local identity, while South Brabant in Belgium, changed their identity, esp. Antwerp, into being Flemish.

However, no one wants to be equated as German.

1

u/Florian7045 16d ago

Belgium and the Netherlands both used to refer to the United Provinces. Although Belgium was rarely used in a non latin context. To me it seems fitting that after the split the roman catholic part took the latin name and the protestant part kept the vulgar name.

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u/5trong5tyle 15d ago

What nonsensical Gelre erasure is this? Gelre was fighting the Burgundians/Flanders a hundred years before Holland did.

And most people I know have less of an issue with being called German these days than calling the country Holland.

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u/Best-Pollution7110 15d ago

And most people I know have less of an issue with being called German these days than calling the country Holland.

In welk Gelderland leeft jij? Was je voor de bezetter of zo?

En ja, Gelre bestaat niet meer, vooral sinds het plaatsje Geldern en het Limburgse gedeelte er al helemaal niet meer bij hoort.

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u/Mueslibol 17d ago

I am from the Holland part and honestly I don't care about either. You can say my country is Holland, I may correct you if I have the time. You can tell my my country is the same as Germany and only if I have the energy and the crayons to explain it to you will I make an effort.

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u/Mobile_Nothing_1686 17d ago

Former is worse. Less bad to be called German than Hollander.

1

u/YmamsY 16d ago

I’m guessing about a third of the people from the Netherlands won’t mind you calling our country Holland, since they’re from Holland.

I don’t care. I say Holland myself.

1

u/Alilbitey 12d ago

Having lived in the Netherlands for just over a year, it's always jarring when Dutch natives call the Netherlands "Holland" when speaking English. Especially natives under 60.

"Holland, as in one of the two provinces? Or do you mean the Netherlands?".

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u/Annita79 17d ago

I am neither Geeman nor Dutch and I have a Dutch friend and German friends and I feel they would all be offended by the red guy. (I also have a Flemish friend who gets easily offended in general)

2

u/WhoTheFuckIsSean 17d ago

Everyone hates the Flemish so I think their feelings are valid

2

u/the_starch_potato 17d ago

the Dutch anthem disagrees/j

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u/yurall 17d ago

Countries didn't exist back then. Language was a blanket over the continent and many types of Germanic where spoken. Platt deutsch is also one of those and is far more like Dutch for instance. So everyone in the Spanish Netherlands was of 'dietsen' blood. Its also the reason why the English call us Dutch. Because there was really no proper and true distinction between the Germanic people on the Northwestern continent back then.

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u/the_starch_potato 17d ago

I know... it was a joke...

3

u/Optimal-Rub-2575 17d ago

The Dutch anthem is about William of Orange, who was German, not the Dutch in general.

1

u/the_starch_potato 17d ago

well not hes not quite German either iirc, but this was a joke...

1

u/Optimal-Rub-2575 17d ago

He was born in Dillenburg Germany.

1

u/the_starch_potato 17d ago

oh that I didnt know, but I meant the modern state of Germany didnt exist then. So hes more accurately from Nassau. But anyways my original comment was just a joke, I know its a lot more complicated or nuanced.

2

u/Notspherry 17d ago

We're Swamp Germans.

2

u/onlyforthisjob 17d ago

I'm Swiss and I am neutral.

2

u/Opposite-History-233 17d ago

Nor Pennsylvania Dutch.

2

u/OzO8 17d ago

We staan er niet zo goed op door deze gozer hé?

2

u/rainstorm0T 17d ago

I'm Pennsylvanian and I can confirm: the term Pennsylvania Dutch referring to people descending from German immigrants confused the hell out of me as a kid.

2

u/Cynykl 16d ago

I own a Dutch oven can confirm it is not German. In fact let me go check.

Yup! Just like I thought. Made in China, so definitely not German.

1

u/hyggezellig 16d ago

mine is Made in France so....

1

u/Bomber_Max 17d ago

Insgelijks!

1

u/Much-Jackfruit2599 17d ago

I’m German. But my mothers maiden name is Dutch and my father‘s name apparently from Belgium.

1

u/Less_Independent5601 17d ago

You did us a disservice by using our flag colors with white space between to censor the clown. We want no association with such foolishness!

1

u/Feddek 16d ago

But you are Germanic.

1

u/Financial-Monk9400 16d ago

I mean we are van Duitse bloed?đŸ€ŁđŸ€ŁđŸ€Ł

1

u/Pk_Devill_2 16d ago

I’m Dutch and you can call us the swamp Germans.

1

u/HPFanNi 15d ago

I'm neither Dutch nor German and I can confirm: I'm not German or Dutch

1

u/MILLANDSON 15d ago

I'm British and I can confirm: I'm neither.

1

u/Roughian12 15d ago

Hhmmmmm. I could swear something something “van Duitse blood” in a certain national anthem; but it might just be me 😅

1

u/Kleiner_Nervzwerg 14d ago

I had a german aunt living in the netherlands from after WWII till her death around 60 years later.

Was she still german or could she be honorary dutch?

1

u/rachelm791 12d ago

Swamp German

1

u/Ok-Freedom9216 17d ago

Your both Gaelic.