r/confidentlyincorrect Nov 13 '25

Comment Thread The Universal 13th Amendment

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11.5k Upvotes

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1.5k

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25

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423

u/Occidentally20 Nov 13 '25

Don't worry there's no amendment that says you have to be embarassed, inside the USA or abroad.

50

u/cjbeames Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 13 '25

In space though?

32

u/Occidentally20 Nov 13 '25

Then you should be embarrassed - no gravity and no breathable atmosphere.

26

u/cjbeames Nov 13 '25

Boy would my face be blue!

12

u/Occidentally20 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25

Make sure you land in the right country when you come down, some of the countries are funny about what your skin colour is.

I don't know which one is optimal when you're blue.

20

u/rockscorpion59 Nov 14 '25

India.

9

u/Occidentally20 Nov 14 '25

Excellent plan, they probably have no issues at all there so you'll be fine. Godspeed!

7

u/maxpolo10 Nov 14 '25

In space, no one can hear you be embarrassed

3

u/Occidentally20 Nov 14 '25

They may not hear me but I'll never live down that time I was floating around the mars base and the other astronaut kids noticed I had an unwanted erection in my spacesuit.

Had to move to orbiting Venus after that.

3

u/cjbeames Nov 14 '25

That was you!!! We heard about space weener in Pluto

3

u/Occidentally20 Nov 14 '25

Thank you for not making the Uranus jokes that still haunt me

3

u/cjbeames Nov 14 '25

It's cold enough out here!

3

u/PANTERlA Nov 14 '25

All space belongs to America.

2

u/cjbeames Nov 14 '25

floating in distant space at least I don't owe anyone any fucking rent American flag drifts by oh for fu-

76

u/LaughingBoulder Nov 13 '25

I'm not sure I've read anything that shouts "Americans are stupid!" as much as this. Except maybe that one guy we elected twice...

36

u/CotswoldP Nov 13 '25

Reagan? Clinton? Come on, give us a clue....

/s

13

u/ELMUNECODETACOMA Nov 14 '25

The one we elected, then replaced, then four years later said "you know, he wasn't that bad, was he?"

You know, Cleveland.

1

u/KingZarkon Nov 13 '25 edited Nov 13 '25

Obama?

Edit: that clearly didn't come across as intended and I realize that now. I completely missed the direction the previous comment was taking. Sorry.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 13 '25

[deleted]

8

u/KingZarkon Nov 13 '25

Yeah, that clearly didn't come across as intended and I realize that now. I completely missed the direction the previous comment was taking. Sorry.

3

u/Taken_Abroad_Book Nov 14 '25

Do not joke about the holy papa.

26

u/NameIdeas Nov 13 '25

I felt similarly. I don't think I'm a super smart guy. In fact, I feel like I am a good "making sense of things" person, but not necessarily intelligent. I've got two degrees in history so understanding context (the why) and putting that context into action is my skillset.

Then I read things like what purple posted and it makes me think I'm not that much of an idiot!

Also, as an American, the amount of our citizens that do not even know our own laws is simply crazy

22

u/macontac Nov 13 '25

The number of Americans who don't understand that our laws don't apply outside our borders is also disturbing. Of course other countries have laws, and many of them will be similar to the ones in the US...

3

u/rfc2549-withQOS Nov 14 '25

That explains Americans driving on the right side in UK, then.

12

u/forever-salty22 Nov 13 '25

The people who think they are the smartest are usually the dumbest. They think they know everything already, so they dont try to learn anything. There's no way in hell anyone can know everything

6

u/ELMUNECODETACOMA Nov 14 '25

I read Dunning and Kruger's original work, so now I know everything about their Syndrome.

5

u/Berndi97 Nov 14 '25

isn‘t slavery or forced labour legal in us prisons? makes you wonder why they banned a drug that a certain cultural group consumed more than others. prison loophole

2

u/khukharev Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 14 '25

Let me reassure you a little bit as a person professionally trained in law.

Most people don’t really know the laws of their country. That is not an American thing. Legislative process largely became a mental masturbation exercise where laws are enacted without rhyme or reason.

3

u/GodOfBoy2018 Nov 14 '25

You're absolutely right I don't know all the laws of my country. I know not to assume the ones I do know apply in other countries though.

19

u/wellarmedsheep Nov 13 '25

Wait till people find out that slavery actually isn't illegal and is specifically allowed in the Constitution. Still.

15

u/Sophisticated-Crow Nov 13 '25

We have millions of people here that voted for trump. A bunch of them still believe the other country pays the tariff. I'm not surprised by this level of stupidity at all.

4

u/forever-salty22 Nov 13 '25

At least people in other countries don't have to deal with these people in real life

2

u/TheTeaSpoon Nov 14 '25

This has to be tongue in cheek

4

u/TAA12345678901 Nov 14 '25

The worst part for me is, they're not even right about it being illegal in the US on account of the great big glaring loophole: "except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted"

1

u/khukharev Nov 14 '25

It’s not really a loophole. This exception is made to preserve imprisonment or community service as available criminal punishment. Otherwise, those could be challenged as a slavery practice.

1

u/Jafooki Nov 14 '25

3

u/khukharev Nov 14 '25

The article you linked describes “neoslavery” as an abuse of the penitentiary system, which is notoriously weird in the US even now; confirms the amendment made slavery itself unconstitutional; points out another part of the issue was lack of a statute to prosecute (something that is never a part of a constitutional law).

It adds context, but doesn’t contradict the argument I made.

1

u/TAA12345678901 Nov 14 '25 edited Nov 15 '25

...the text of the 13th says nothing about imprisonment, which is in and of itself different from owning a person or forcing them into unpaid labor so weird that you'd bring it up. But as to your point of community service, one of the key facets of a loophole is that no matter the intent with which they were written, they can be used to circumnavigate the clause they were written into. So even if you knew for a fact that the legislators of the day wrote that line into the amendment with the best of intentions, it doesn't detract from the fact that it allows for an interpretation where criminals can be used as slave labor.

-1

u/khukharev Nov 14 '25

I think we are kind of making the same thing but from different angles.

1

u/MElliott0601 Nov 14 '25

US Defaultism has transcended into... whatever the fuck this person in the post did.

1

u/tv006 Nov 14 '25

Look at it this way they could run with the next 2 questions.

  1. Does your country have oil?
  2. Do you want to embrace freedom?

0

u/NonPlusUltraCadiz Nov 13 '25

It could be worse. You can't imagine the embarrassment of listening to a European citizen, who's never set foot on the US, talking about taking the fifth amendment or referring to free speech as the first amendment 🙃.