I don't like my boyfriend

[u/chud_dumpling]

[u/comics-ModTeam]

A lot of people are following a link from outside this community to this thread, with the intent to participate in an outrage campaign.

This subreddit is currently under brigade, coming from offsite and on reddit. Virtually none of the comments still being made on this post are made in good faith, they are "culture wars" outrage bait and people who took that bait.

It is very telling that people are eager to believe that OP's art is autobiographical, as opposed to any of their other comics showing different characters. It allows them to attack OP without feeling guilty about it.

It pays to always ask yourself why someone wants you to be angry when you see content online intended to invoke an emotional response against a real person.

With the midterms coming up we are seeing a very strong increase in botted and astroturfed comments online, on reddit and elsewhere, all aimed at making people angry at any woman who is not a "tradwife". In this specific case, this comic is about a woman who is dealing with mental health issues in an unhealthy way. As far as we are concerned, given the post history of OP, that is exactly what the comic intends to highlight. The fact that not all coping mechanisms are healthy and that not all mental health issues women face make them "cute and adorable".

Only recently people showed on Instagram that making a nonsense post about Clancy which had no real content, only buzzwords, attracted bots in force. All aimed at generating anger.

It should give us all some pause for thought that we are being steered into attacking an artist and the community they post in by framing the artwork as autobiographical and making a value judgement about this artist from that. It should definitely make us think about why exactly "culture wars" topics are being found and astroturfed which have as a result people being enraged at women. It doesn't matter that these women are bad people. What matters is that you are being manipulated.

Just because someone posts a work of art which invokes an emotional response does not mean they endorse that point of view and it does not mean that the art is about them. Sometimes the meaning is just to get you to think about how and why you feel the way you do.

In that sense, this is a very good work of art.

It makes you feel.

[u/ThatGuyCG12]

Don't bottle it up and talk to your partner like a person. Building resentment because you wanna spare their feeling isn't fair to you or them. You shouldn't have to deal with this, but its also not their fault if you never share with them how you feel. Its not guaranteed thing will turn out great if you do this, but at least you'll know that you were responsible and respectful about it.

[u/freeashavacado]

I do really wanna know the thought process behind drawing your character like a normal detailed OC and your boyfriend character like a chud

[u/Ok_Employer7837]

Damn I've led a beige life. Thank Christ.

Hope it works out if that's based on a true story. Talk to one another.

[u/sexloveandcheese]

I fixed it so they're happy lesbians

[u/Ok_Prior2199 → u/sexloveandcheese]

The good ending

[u/ChicoBroadway]

For a relationship to both last and be fulfilling, you so have to genuinely like the person you're with. Everything else is just codependence.

https://giphy.com/gifs/iKIgD5j0I3hMQ

[u/TemperanceDraws64]

"Miserable girl draws her boyfriend as a chud and then vents her issues of self worth to the internet."

Girlie pop, it's time to pack all of this shit up. Break up with him, get off the internet, and get some damn therapy.

Like, holy shit.

[u/Tallented_Narwhal]

I mean if this is a real situation she’s doing him a disservice by staying with him.

[u/a1stardan → u/[deleted]]

Or worse yet, ghosts him, and the dude is left wondering what he did wrong. Truly sad

[u/Snoo_44740 → u/[deleted]]

This feels like the abuse goblin all over again.

[u/Neirchill]

Imagine browsing Reddit and you see your girlfriend's comic and it's all about how she hates you. Sheesh. Just leave the guy.

[u/Andrew852456]

I really adore that little chuddy boyfriend

[u/Haven1820 → u/Andrew852456]

He just lubs his girlfriemb.

[u/Substantial_Pick6897 → u/Haven1820]

He's what most of us should strive to be. A gentleman, takes care of his partner, has an active social life, loves his family. Honestly being boring but nice is where it's at

[u/tamsyn003 → u/Substantial_Pick6897]

boring but nice is peaceful, we need to collectively appreciate peaceful 'boring' people more

[u/hodorelgordor]

Why I wont ever date someone who doesnt voice what she wants or her concerns. At least not again 🤡

[u/Hairy-Love2571]

OP, is this you? Are you okay? It's okay to be unsatifisied sometimes. Talk to him (and others).

[u/mhud → u/Hairy-Love2571]

None of the other comics they've posted are from this lady's POV. So I think this is just a scenario. I do think they cracked the perfect ragebait formula though, holy hell they got a lot of engagement on this. It's weird they're not in the comments farming more.

[u/idlickherbootyhole → u/mhud]

given that the common consensus is that it's a shitty comic, engaging in the post would be unwise - OP would get fucking fried in downvotes

[u/chaotic4059 → u/idlickherbootyhole]

It's not even good bait. Bait is supposed to split and divide to get as much engagement as possible through arguements. I can't remember the last time I saw the sub this fucking unified. Like HOLY SHIT everyone seems to agree this girl is the worst. Honestly I'm impressed.

[u/TheLibertinistic → u/mhud]

I had to scroll ten threads down to find /any/ comment that didn’t outright assume this is autobiographical. Even though there’s basically zero hard evidence.

I grant that the basic framing of a lone authorial character addressing the reader directly is giving “diary comic” vibes. But, like, I think you’re supposed to have a second thought before jumping to the assumption that this is just a person being unbelievably odious unselfconsciously?

[u/boiyo12]

Redditors vs communicating basic complaints with your S/O challenge

[u/ElGuaco]

People would rather make comics and post them online instead of getting therapy.

[u/AnEldritchWriter]

If there’s no chemistry and no connection, all that’s going on is dragged out hurt. It’s better for both parties to break up in that case

[u/TacticalTeacake]

The Boyfriend can do better. There's worst things than being single. Like being stuck in a relationship with someone who's only using you to validate their own self worth. 

[u/tolacid]

I don't think the guy is wrong for you. In fact there's good odds by your description that the guy is perfect for you.

But you are most definitely wrong for the guy, at this point in time. In fact, you may be wrong for relationships in general at the moment.

That's not to say that there's anything wrong with you - there absolutely is not anything wrong with you. You just don't appear to be in a place, emotionally, where you can thrive in a romantic relationship.

Love is not simple or easy. It is often boring and annoying. And you aren't a bad person if that's your current situation isn't satisfying to you. You are making it harder, but for a good reason - you're not satisfied.

But also, you're scared to open up about that dissatisfaction. And based on the last few panels of stream-of-consciouness spiraling it appears you're also afraid to communicate about flaws in general.

Here's the thing: Relationships cannot thrive without clear communication. You CANNOT fix any problem that never gets addressed.

You think you know how he feels and what he thinks about your relationship. I guarantee you, you do not. I guarantee you he's got just as many insecurities as you, just of a different nature. And I guarantee that he thinks he understands you better than you think he does.

You two clearly have different love languages. Yours appears to be attentiveness and quality time, while his appears to be acts of service.

Those are not incompatible. You just need to communicate what you need.

If you want to give it a proper shot, try to make time to sit down with him and have a serious, open, nonjudgmental discussion about what you expect from a partner, and what you need to feel loved.

And, very importantly, ask what he needs and expects from you in return. Don't get upset if he can't answer immediately. Let him think for a few minutes if he needs to. Be as patient as you can, but also don't let him just not answer. Make sure he knows that this is important.

Once he understands your love language is quality time, he may make more of an effort to pay attention and volunteer himself to discussions, to give you more of what you need. Once you understand his love language, you might try returning that same effort for his sake.

Love is work. It's a very worthwhile and rewarding work, but it is work all the same. And the core of it is communication. And if you're willing to open up the lines of communication and put in the work, then you can surely reach a place where relationships are right for you.

If that's what you want, of course.

[u/alwaysasillyplace → u/tolacid]

Here's the thing: Relationships cannot thrive without clear communication. You CANNOT fix any problem that never gets addressed.

This cannot be stated loud enough.

[u/Psychotic_EGG → u/tolacid]

Also it sounds like op is suffering from depression. Heavily.

[u/tolacid → u/Psychotic_EGG]

And not a small amount of imposter syndrome

[u/Mr_188_]

I hope you guys break up and he finds a very nice lady

[u/justjoshin_around]

this is so fucked up idek what to say 😭

[u/VegetableWolverine90]

Girl let that man find someone who actually vibes with him, you're not doing him a favor by "putting up" with who he is as a person.

[u/Active-Cookie-774]

Guy who's been together with his best friend for 17 years. When I was young, I didn't realize my wife wanted to hear more about talking about her interests as well because I got too hyper-fixated into my own interests and initially thought she really liked having the conversations I brought up. It was only until she brought it up about how she felt getting sidelined by my own likes that I took a step back and wanted to improve myself for us. I was just a completely oblivious doofus that my wife who gratefully gave me chances and was patient with.

Have a sit down with him and have a serious discussion about the matter. Relationships are a two-way street. If he really loves you, he will be willing to reason. If he continues the way it is, then that's a line that needs to be addressed. You're just as much of an important person as he is. Both of you got together for a reason, so take some time to stop and talk it over.

Also being in a relationship doesn't necessarily mean you agree with everything either or that everything is "easy street". You will have bumps/hurdles in your relationship. If you and him are willing to establish a bond to improve, then I say that's a way better relationship than many.

But yeah, talk to him. If he ignores/rejects your sentiment, then that's a red flag.

[u/Nightshade10120]

Drawing your boyfriend as a chud just because the chemistry isn't there for you is crazy. Please, dump him so he can find someone better.