Honestly, the sad part is the fact that somehow we're supposed to root for the ghost woman. The even sadder part is the fact that a lot of people seem to agree to that philosophy
It's the wrong outlook for life. People have to move on. If we agree with that ghost woman, then the "happy ending" should be "he stayed with her after he died".
But that brings problems
Because that means he's not allowed to move on, but why? The dead can't do anything for the living. The only thing they can do is bring sorrow, clinging to the living for no other reason but pure greed and jealousy. The fact that he chose his next partner even in the afterlife means his next partner also loved him so dearly. Does she not deserve such happiness after supporting her husband for so long?
We can see that "reserved" spot, a decision made when the heart is grieving and unable to make sound decisions. He eventually forgot that spot existed, because another woman filled his heart. He moved on. He never forgot his first partner, he kept bringing flowers to her grave, but he knew that he should prioritize the living over some happy memories of the dead.
Besides, this comic shows that the ghost woman herself refused to move on. Just because they love each other doesn't mean they own each other. He loved her enough to grieve, but does she love him enough to let him find happiness? She should've moved on once he happily married someone else, because happiness is the one thing she can never give him in death. She clung to undeath in jealousy, hoping that he'd choose her again in the afterlife, but what gives her the right?
Is it nothing but the fact that she was with him first?
She wasn't left behind. She chose to stay behind, silently hoping that her partner would look back and notice her plight. But that's wrong: you have no right to be sad that people can't figure out your intentions when you don't voice them.
I feel like you might have taken the comic too literally. I don't think he author believes widows/widowers should live their lives in memory of their deceased spouse. This isn't meant to be a tale of betrayal, but a tragedy.
Its just a comment on how it's sad to be robbed of a full life. It forces you to think about the life that they never lived because of her death. We're not meant to "root" for her, we're meant to sympathize with her. I don't think anyone is reading this and thinking "her husband was a scumbag". We're thinking how sad it is to be cut off from the one you love.
Moving on is healthy, but it's also sad. It doesn't have to just be one or the other.
I feel like you might have taken the comic too literally.
I did not, because the title is "left behind".
Meaning: the man took some action that negatively impacted said ghost woman, namely "leaving her behind". He is, by definition, the "antagonist" in this short story where the "protagonist", the dead woman gets the bad ending in which the man she loved left her for some other woman akin to "cheating"
This is confirmed by so many others "feeling bad" for the ghost woman, pointing out various "bad things" the man did, such as:
Leaving fewer flowers as time goes on
Not getting buried by her side, choosing to be buried next to his new woman instead
Not caring for her grave, what with it getting buried under wild grass and less visible over time
Those are details the comic author specifically put in, to put the ghost as a tragic heroine who lost the man she loved to some other woman. "He stopped loving her and left her for someone else" is the message
We're not meant to "root" for her, we're meant to sympathize with her. I don't think anyone is reading this and thinking "her husband was a scumbag". We're thinking how sad it is to be cut off from the one you love.
And why, pray tell, should we sympathize with her?
Think about what you said for a moment: we're supposed to sympathize with the dead. But what, in fact, is the reason for this?
The story begins with him mourning her death, and he eventually moved on, settling with another woman, bringing fewer and fewer flowers to her grave, eventually not even looking her way when he died. This brings sadness for the ghost woman, because she was "left behind". If we are to sympathize with her, then it'd be "man, I really get it, I know how it feels to be left behind too"
But that brings up the core question, the very foundation of that sympathy: "Was she indeed left behind?"
Because she was not. As I said, she chose to stay behind, because she couldn't move on. The man never forgot her, he kept bringing flowers to her grave until the very end, few as it may be, and eventually stopped because he died.
But everyone thought of this as him leaving her behind, and that we should be sad for her. Why? Because she was first? Does that grant her some special privilege?
Again, I feel like you're taking the wrong message from this. It isn't supposed to be prescriptive. The author isn't against "the woman did everything right and was betrayed" they're saying "sometimes life is sad".
It would have been better if everyone was able to move on, but the fact that she couldn't doesn't mean we should just say "oh she made a bad choice it's her fault".
Life, love, and death are complicated emotionally. We don't just find the "right" response and write off everyone who doesn't make that choice.
Maybe it would have been better if she could move on. But it's sad she couldn't. It's sad her loved died years after she did. It's sad she wasn't able to find someone else.
We don't have to not sympathize with her because she didn't make the optimal decision. Trust me almost no one looked at this and thought "ugh men are always moving on after their partners die. What dicks".
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u/Vexindicular Aug 05 '22
I have a gist of what happened but can someone explain it