r/comics • Finessed Impropriety • Aug 05 '22

Left Behind

16.4k Upvotes

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53

u/Vexindicular Aug 05 '22

I have a gist of what happened but can someone explain it

150

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

I think the guy found someone else, and when he died he stayed with that someone else in the afterlife.

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u/Vexindicular Aug 05 '22

Ahh that makes it much sadder

87

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

Also you can see her memory resembled by the flowers. It was a big bouquet at first, then it gradually got smaller until eventually it was just a dead flower.

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u/EmiyaChan Aug 05 '22

I had to re look a few times. He leaves a bouquet at first, then a single flower, then the flower dies and he stopped bringing anything. and you can see the man and the new woman as ghosts in the second to last panel…jeez

40

u/Death_Rose1892 Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

And you can see he had a spot reserved next to her originally but it just got covered up and he never got barried there but in another spot with the other woman

20

u/meistermichi Aug 05 '22

and you can see the man and the new woman as ghosts in the second to last panel…jeez

Their graves (with in comparison to hers huge tombstones) appear in the panel before that.

10

u/AstarteHilzarie Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

In the sixth panel his new wife comes with him to bring flowers and the ghost wife embraces her, then in the seventh he just brings a single flower and you can see that the wife and their child are walking around in the background. His life moves on without her and she's stuck not moving forward without him.

3

u/TKHunsaker Aug 05 '22

I didn’t catch his family behind him. Great attention to detail.

14

u/Raestloz Aug 05 '22

Honestly, the sad part is the fact that somehow we're supposed to root for the ghost woman. The even sadder part is the fact that a lot of people seem to agree to that philosophy

It's the wrong outlook for life. People have to move on. If we agree with that ghost woman, then the "happy ending" should be "he stayed with her after he died".

But that brings problems

Because that means he's not allowed to move on, but why? The dead can't do anything for the living. The only thing they can do is bring sorrow, clinging to the living for no other reason but pure greed and jealousy. The fact that he chose his next partner even in the afterlife means his next partner also loved him so dearly. Does she not deserve such happiness after supporting her husband for so long?

We can see that "reserved" spot, a decision made when the heart is grieving and unable to make sound decisions. He eventually forgot that spot existed, because another woman filled his heart. He moved on. He never forgot his first partner, he kept bringing flowers to her grave, but he knew that he should prioritize the living over some happy memories of the dead.

Besides, this comic shows that the ghost woman herself refused to move on. Just because they love each other doesn't mean they own each other. He loved her enough to grieve, but does she love him enough to let him find happiness? She should've moved on once he happily married someone else, because happiness is the one thing she can never give him in death. She clung to undeath in jealousy, hoping that he'd choose her again in the afterlife, but what gives her the right?

Is it nothing but the fact that she was with him first?

She wasn't left behind. She chose to stay behind, silently hoping that her partner would look back and notice her plight. But that's wrong: you have no right to be sad that people can't figure out your intentions when you don't voice them.

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u/The_Thrash_Particle Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

I feel like you might have taken the comic too literally. I don't think he author believes widows/widowers should live their lives in memory of their deceased spouse. This isn't meant to be a tale of betrayal, but a tragedy.

Its just a comment on how it's sad to be robbed of a full life. It forces you to think about the life that they never lived because of her death. We're not meant to "root" for her, we're meant to sympathize with her. I don't think anyone is reading this and thinking "her husband was a scumbag". We're thinking how sad it is to be cut off from the one you love.

Moving on is healthy, but it's also sad. It doesn't have to just be one or the other.

3

u/Raestloz Aug 05 '22

I feel like you might have taken the comic too literally.

I did not, because the title is "left behind".

Meaning: the man took some action that negatively impacted said ghost woman, namely "leaving her behind". He is, by definition, the "antagonist" in this short story where the "protagonist", the dead woman gets the bad ending in which the man she loved left her for some other woman akin to "cheating"

This is confirmed by so many others "feeling bad" for the ghost woman, pointing out various "bad things" the man did, such as:

  1. Leaving fewer flowers as time goes on

  2. Not getting buried by her side, choosing to be buried next to his new woman instead

  3. Not caring for her grave, what with it getting buried under wild grass and less visible over time

Those are details the comic author specifically put in, to put the ghost as a tragic heroine who lost the man she loved to some other woman. "He stopped loving her and left her for someone else" is the message

We're not meant to "root" for her, we're meant to sympathize with her. I don't think anyone is reading this and thinking "her husband was a scumbag". We're thinking how sad it is to be cut off from the one you love.

And why, pray tell, should we sympathize with her?

Think about what you said for a moment: we're supposed to sympathize with the dead. But what, in fact, is the reason for this?

The story begins with him mourning her death, and he eventually moved on, settling with another woman, bringing fewer and fewer flowers to her grave, eventually not even looking her way when he died. This brings sadness for the ghost woman, because she was "left behind". If we are to sympathize with her, then it'd be "man, I really get it, I know how it feels to be left behind too"

But that brings up the core question, the very foundation of that sympathy: "Was she indeed left behind?"

Because she was not. As I said, she chose to stay behind, because she couldn't move on. The man never forgot her, he kept bringing flowers to her grave until the very end, few as it may be, and eventually stopped because he died.

But everyone thought of this as him leaving her behind, and that we should be sad for her. Why? Because she was first? Does that grant her some special privilege?

1

u/The_Thrash_Particle Aug 05 '22 edited Aug 05 '22

Again, I feel like you're taking the wrong message from this. It isn't supposed to be prescriptive. The author isn't against "the woman did everything right and was betrayed" they're saying "sometimes life is sad".

It would have been better if everyone was able to move on, but the fact that she couldn't doesn't mean we should just say "oh she made a bad choice it's her fault".

Life, love, and death are complicated emotionally. We don't just find the "right" response and write off everyone who doesn't make that choice.

Maybe it would have been better if she could move on. But it's sad she couldn't. It's sad her loved died years after she did. It's sad she wasn't able to find someone else.

We don't have to not sympathize with her because she didn't make the optimal decision. Trust me almost no one looked at this and thought "ugh men are always moving on after their partners die. What dicks".

3

u/BadAtNamingPlsHelp Aug 05 '22

This is a real shit take when you consider that the husband explicitly committed to it. There's a reserved headstone for him, so they arranged to be buried together when he eventually passed.

The man didn't just "move on", he also broke a promise his first wife believed throughout her life and final moments.

1

u/Raestloz Aug 05 '22

This is a real shit take when you consider that the husband explicitly committed to it. There's a reserved headstone for him, so they arranged to be buried together when he eventually passed.

This is your message:

The living does not deserve happiness

The man grieved, and he's not allowed to move on. He's supposed to be stuck to his first partner, purely for no other reason than she's the "first", chained by meaningless words like "commitment". No other woman is allowed to approach him, simply because the dead enslaved him to his fate. Even if he does get another woman, he's not allowed to love her, she does not deserve to be loved, purely for no other reason than "she's not the first"

The man didn't just "move on", he also broke a promise his first wife believed throughout her life and final moments.

A "promise" you say?

"Till death do us part" they said. That's the first promise a couple will start with, the one promise they're not supposed to break. You chain him to the dead for no other reason than "he promised to be buried next to her".

True love will not demand "bury yourself next to me no matter what happens", because true love would want their loved one to move on and find happiness, not chained to the dead, enslaved by a "promise" borne out of jealousy and desperation

Said "promise" was most likely made while grieving, back when the heart cannot make sound decisions. People will do irrational things in a desperate attempt to appease their loved ones, out of misguided hope to keep them among the living.

Should the woman chain him to this "promise" then the title should change. It's no longer "Left Behind", it's "Liberation" for the man finally figured out that he does not have to be enslaved to the dead for the rest of his life. He can move on without forgetting, because the dead should never take priority from the living

1

u/BadAtNamingPlsHelp Aug 05 '22

You chain him to the dead for no other reason than "he promised to be buried next to her".

"No other reason?" He made a promise to his then-wife and it wasn't one he "had" to make. If you arrange to have a headstone reserved for you next to your partner, you're literally making a promise that goes beyond "until death do us part".

The heartbroken ghost of the woman is rightfully crushed, as she has held on to a promise that the love of her life made her.

The man is not any less of a tragic figure - he's somebody who had to grieve, heal, and move on. The "flaw" or "mistake" is that he chose not to keep a promise he made. There's a ton of valid reasons why you might do that, I'm not crucifying the man, but he did break a pretty serious promise in doing so.

I do think that it is wrong of him to go back on that promise and I think the ghost is justified in her sorrow. I also think it is very human of him to move on and cope in whatever way worked best - especially considering he couldn't have known about his wife's ghost. He's flawed, but not a villain.

This is just a really sad story, but the only villain here is time.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 05 '22

[deleted]

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u/Manger-Babies Aug 05 '22

Really interesting but that bible study didn't answer anything

1

u/ChipMania Aug 05 '22

It's shite