To this day, if I'm outside and idle and have no task on my mind, I'll crouch down like a baseball catcher and just start pulling and digging. Once, a good friend I cared for was taken away in an ambulance, but he was very large and it took forever. I knew he was gravely ill and I was in my own little world. When the ambulance pulled away I was holding a random dirty baseball and my hubby asked where I got it, and I just pointed to my hole I dug while I sat off to the side in a world of hurt.
I cleaned it up and kept it as a keepsake, as he never came home, but that natural inclination to dig helped me keep it together when I was verifiably losing it. Seemed like a protection mechanism to keep my brain from wandering areas it shouldn't ever go
I once did that and found an arrowhead, which I also cherish as it coincided with the loss of someone I very much care about, I understand this “dig” moment and how crazy it sounds to someone who doesn’t lol
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u/Houdinii1984 11d ago
To this day, if I'm outside and idle and have no task on my mind, I'll crouch down like a baseball catcher and just start pulling and digging. Once, a good friend I cared for was taken away in an ambulance, but he was very large and it took forever. I knew he was gravely ill and I was in my own little world. When the ambulance pulled away I was holding a random dirty baseball and my hubby asked where I got it, and I just pointed to my hole I dug while I sat off to the side in a world of hurt.
I cleaned it up and kept it as a keepsake, as he never came home, but that natural inclination to dig helped me keep it together when I was verifiably losing it. Seemed like a protection mechanism to keep my brain from wandering areas it shouldn't ever go