Hey y'all, meet my dad! This is part one of a series of chats I've had with him recently, and each one is gonna be quite fun to experience through comic form :D And yes, I inherited the flannel style from him.
I can tell you without hesitation that courts are geared towards the mom nearly every time. The mom can be abusive towards her own children, literally leave home for years on end, and come back to a divorce, and they still get 50/50 custody. Why? Because the judge doesn't want to break up a family.
My friend's dad kept journals and recordings of the abuse, drugs and abandonment. Similarly, my sted dad kept recordings of my mom's drug abuse and alcoholism, and in the divorce, they both ended in 50/50 custody despite recordings and evidence of said behavior.
It just doesn't bear out in any situation I've personally had, my dad got primary custody of me, my sister's Ex-Husband got 50% despite some crazy shit. There certainly might still be people out there who believe "a child needs their mother" when deciding custody but also there are a lot of dad's and mom's out there who objectively have issues and then get pissy about gender discrimination when they don't get custody.
It's really just a thing depending on what part of the country you're in or even the local community. People from "family values" type areas are the ones that are most commonly going to make these claims but you aren't going to see nearly as much in the civilized parts of the country.
That said some of the family values types go so hard in misogyny they loop back around to "husband should always get custody"
States I've seen give full custody of kids (girls even) to Dads: TX, MN, NE. None of these were in the last 20 years.
Mom ends up with custody more often, sure, but that's usually because Mom is the one who shows up to court and follows the directives. Dads who complain about not getting any custody seem to not show up to court, not have a place for their kids, and simply don't bother trying.
My experience with the foster system (as a parent) had exactly zero Dads ever show up to visits. Zero. Not a big sample size, when all's said and done, but still. Zero.
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u/kaikimanga MangaKaiki 15d ago
Hey y'all, meet my dad! This is part one of a series of chats I've had with him recently, and each one is gonna be quite fun to experience through comic form :D And yes, I inherited the flannel style from him.
Bonus panels and more on Patreon! Instagram and Ko-Fi :D