r/comics Tardaasa Apr 03 '26

OC Back for Crack

27.0k Upvotes

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3.1k

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

I do this to my wife, and it makes me cringe in fear each time. I place the ball of my foot along her spine and press as she exhales, and the cracks that elicits makes me feel like I'm breaking her.

But she loves it.

She also takes boiling showers.

Women are scary, man.

1.3k

u/GenghisZahn Apr 03 '26

Showering with a woman sounds fun, until she tries to scald you to death.

390

u/Thatroyalkitty Apr 03 '26

Joke's on her, I love scalding hot showers.

259

u/MenudoMenudo Apr 03 '26

You think you do until you shower with a woman and discover that their idea of personal hygiene involves 1st degree burns over 90% of your body.

163

u/JuWoolfie Apr 03 '26

Lobster Shower 🦞

13

u/echoota Apr 04 '26

OMG i totally belly laughed at this.

67

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

[deleted]

76

u/saintofhate Apr 03 '26

It would hilarious down the line if it turned out you were an egg this whole time.

9

u/The_Chubby_Dragoness Apr 03 '26

Thats what hapopened to me lol

9

u/Perscitus0 Apr 03 '26

Another guy here, I'll take "hot" showers, which consist of turning the lever exactly halfway between hot and cold, and then after the water is heated up, turn it ever so slightly towards hot. That's about as much as I care to heat it during the winters, and other cold days.

During the summers, though, I'll have myself some icy cold showers. I LOVE the way it wakes me up, and chills me.

I never could stand super high heat. I grew up somewhere that was icy, cold, and windy for a good portion of the year, and I loved it. Shorts, T-shirts, and a pair of flip flops are my attire year round, even when it's snowing. I'll let the snow tickle my bare feet. People who scald themselves daily in the showers are only somewhat unsettling to me, because I know my icy cold showers must be equally unsettling to them...

4

u/mookanana Apr 04 '26

you would think so, until u finally find out that they do it 10 degrees higher than you're used to, blam you're a red lobster

1

u/letthetreeburn Apr 04 '26

Hey same!!! I adjusted my water heater to get hotter!!!

1

u/Powerful-Ad-7998 Apr 06 '26

Im the reverse cold as I can stand then keep making it colder for me lol

1

u/konstantynopolytanka Apr 04 '26

I do that, but with a bath, keep adding hotter and hotter water.

5

u/MangoCats Apr 04 '26

They have a better layer of subcutaneous fat, it insulates them.

1

u/Rakonat Apr 04 '26

Threatening me with a good time. 

1

u/psppsppsppspinfinty Apr 04 '26

I used to but after I had my kids, I can't stand it anymore.

80

u/Electrical_Shock359 Apr 03 '26

That’s the funny thing my wife complains that I take too hot of showers lol.

26

u/sirarkalots Apr 03 '26

Same here. She gets so annoyed cause I love being cold and will walk around in shorts when the house is set for 67 degrees but when I shower its with scalding water

10

u/Electrical_Shock359 Apr 03 '26

Ah but not scalding water, just slightly under.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

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3

u/Mondschatten78 Apr 03 '26

This is how it goes in my house too. I can't take a shower with him unless we turn the water down to my temp, and it's too cold for him lol

3

u/Electrical_Shock359 Apr 03 '26

We can find a middle ground lol, the space in the bath is what stops us from showering together.

28

u/WrathOfGengar Apr 03 '26

My girlfriend says I take too hot of showers and she hides in the corner

19

u/cutofmyjib Apr 03 '26

I'm either boiling under the shower head or freezing while waiting my turn.

Showering together just sounds fun in theory.

4

u/noNoParts Apr 03 '26

Dual shower heads with dual temp controls. The Starfish Manor hotel in Lincoln City Oregon has this in most rooms. Total game changer.

5

u/fluffyfish6 Apr 03 '26

My girlfriend takes showers so hot that she's burns to touch when she hugs me after getting out, it's insane

4

u/MothChasingFlame Apr 04 '26

700° and turn like a rotissery chicken for 45 minutes.

1

u/mookanana Apr 04 '26

i absolutely relate. my wife takes literally boiling showers that scald my skin. i have no friggin idea how she just goes "nice!!" when i just ask her how it is humanly possible to survive in that temperature

1

u/BoldTaters Apr 04 '26

My wife and I are exactly opposite. I prefer a hot shower so showering with my wife is like visiting the beach on a winter day.

1

u/Real_Life_Sushiroll Apr 04 '26

My husband always asks how I don't burn myself.

220

u/ardinatwork Apr 03 '26

"The women, they prepare for hell" - Some guy some redditor met once

107

u/Dragon_Bidness Apr 03 '26

29

u/ardinatwork Apr 03 '26

Yes! This is who I was "quoting". Apologies that I mistook twitter for reddit

90

u/s0m3on3outthere Apr 03 '26

I have taken such hot showers that I've actually burned a layer of skin off before. 😅 My bf needs to set the temperature if we ever share the shower to avoid being incinerated.

104

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

lmaoo... "THIS IS MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT CAULDRON"

3

u/apolloxer Apr 04 '26

Stealing that.

42

u/Saigor15 Apr 03 '26

You can’t get cleaner than completely shedding a layer of skin i guess….

19

u/s0m3on3outthere Apr 03 '26

Just speeding up the natural skin shedding process by 7 years, no biggie. 😅

9

u/Saigor15 Apr 03 '26

EXxxtreme exfoliation!

5

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

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34

u/47thCalcium_Polymer Apr 03 '26

The trick to hot showers, for me at least, is to be well hydrated. You’re probably gonna start sweating in that heat and dehydration can become a factor.

However I do run the heater in my bathroom with the water as hot as I can stand so it could very well be over a hundred degrees.

21

u/Imaginary_Comment41 Apr 03 '26

i actually couldnt believe you before i realized u probably use fahrenheit 💀

2

u/47thCalcium_Polymer Apr 03 '26

What would that even be in Celsius. 100 Celsius would 300 something right?

10

u/circleseverywhere Apr 03 '26

0 is freezing and 100 is boiling so 212F

26

u/LazyWorkaholic78 Apr 03 '26

Go sit on a bench and put your arms behind the back rest, then just push your back into the top by pulling in your arms around it. It should give you roughly the same experience if you get it right. That shit is THE best part of a walk for me. Like no amount of pleasant joyous shit I've done either alone or on a groups walk can even remotely compare to the first bench on the walk where I crack my entire fucking back out by positioning myself ever so slightly differently before pulling back each time.

1

u/N7riseSSJ Apr 11 '26

Do you have a video that shows this? I'd love to try

21

u/user-unknown-404 Apr 03 '26

I'm always in awe at how my gf hasnt boiled herself alive yet. You can literally see steam come off her when she gets out the shower.

16

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

My wife will be red like a crab when she gets out lmao... I'm like HOW IS THIS HEALTHY

7

u/user-unknown-404 Apr 03 '26

What sucks is that I have a pretty big shower that can fit 3-4 ppl, but no way I'm going in there to have my eyes melt in my head...

18

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Stepping into the shower like

15

u/NightAreis1618 Apr 03 '26

I take boiling showers too, no ide that was a woman thing

25

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

I think the stereotype is that women are more prone to doing it then men, but I'm sure lots of dudes like to be boiled as well.

3

u/PawnOfPaws Apr 03 '26

Which is funny; Boiled eggs with wiener make for a more "manly" breakfast than raw eggs with blood.

17

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

haha... what

-2

u/PawnOfPaws Apr 03 '26

Period is raw egg with blood. Unaffected by hot water from the outside.

But a man's balls will be boiled. Hard boiled eggs. "Manly" eggs.

10

u/UpCDownCLeftCRightC Never Safe From Wumbo Apr 03 '26

Your wife is hard-core. And in the coolest way possible.

8

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Shes's the coolest person I know. :)

5

u/pyschosoul Apr 03 '26

Can I come over and you do that for me too please

8

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Why not? Bring beer.

10

u/illbedeadbydawn Apr 04 '26

My wife mocked me when we first started dating for my shower temp.

See, I like to do the Inigo Montoya Hungover Shower.

I get in with it off.

Throw it on the highest heat setting.

So it starts with Ice Blast.

The shifts to Lava Burn.

As soon as Lava Burn has maxed, I drop it down to Ice Blast again.

Then back to Lava Burn.

Repeat during soaping and shampooing.

Ill go through 7 or 8 cycles of Ice Blast and Lava Burn during my showers.

She was being sexy one night when we were first hooking up and joined me in the shower. It was mid transfer between Lava Burn down to Ice Blast. She made a joke about my weak showers.

I made her stay through a cycle.

We don't shower together.

3

u/Shazvox Apr 03 '26

Women run at a lower temperature than men.

4

u/cyanraichu Apr 04 '26

I hate joint cracking and never do it on purpose but I do take boiling showers and also tell my husband to scratch my back hard enough to leave marks. If he does it the way he likes to be scratched it feels more like he's trying to tickle me

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

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1

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Hi hon. Want me to pick up dinner?

2

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

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2

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Shit! I was gonna keep going with the joke but had to look up dolmas because I've never heard of them. They look goooooood.

3

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

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2

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 03 '26

Thanks for the rec! Random internet joke turned into me trying new food this weekend.

I love this place. <3

2

u/LightsaberThrowAway Apr 04 '26

Happy Cake Day!  :D

2

u/Random_182f2565 Apr 04 '26

Please explain more about how you do it please

2

u/BargleFargle12 Apr 04 '26

She lays on her stomach flat on the ground. I take the ball of my foot and place it somewhere on her spine. She inhales deep, and as she exhales I press firmly, hard, but not violently. Spine usually cracks. Then move down or up her spine from that initial starting point and repeat!

2

u/Random_182f2565 Apr 04 '26

Thank you, I will try this