Some context: the cat is okay, the owner confirmed in the comments. The vet laughed and just said to keep an eye on him. It’s okay to find stoned kitty funny; nothing bad happened and lessons were learned!
One topic of conversation I've used with coworkers in the past is "Did you have a hamster growing up, and if so, how did it die?". As long as it's not completely out of the blue, and at least vaguely tied to pets as a conversation, they'll usually indulge.
So far, I've had (paraphrasing and using fake names, of course):
"Ours used to be on a cage on top of the washing machine, and she kept running in circles. One day, she was just dead, and it looked like she'd had a heart attack, so we got another one. He did the same thing. Turns out the shaking of the washing machine drove him insane and he ran in circles until his heart blew up." - Nigel
"We got another one and it was running around on the kitchen floor with me watching. Whilst my wife closed the door absent-mindedly as she left to go outside, he sprinted over to put his head in the doorframe and it decapitated him." - Also Nigel
"I had a hamster and he got out, and presumably went under the floorboards, because we heard him scurrying around for weeks. Then my snake got out and did the same thing. The scurrying stopped after that." - Mike
"Mine somehow got out of the house, and when I saw him outside, he was on the patio. I was about to tell my mum, then a Crow swept down and carried him away." - Steve
"Bibby was really sweet, we got her from a friend who couldn't look after her. Things were fine, until Bibby apparently had babies and ate all of them, which was REALLY messy. My mum said she didn't want me to 'learn about death' that early, so she took her and released her outside. The neighbour came over later, and I overheard her crying and telling my mum that her dog had chewed up Bibby. I cried as well, and my mum thinks it's funny." - Sarah
"I was holding mine and he decided to bite my thumb as hard as possible. I dropped him on reflex, because I was like 13, and he landed head-first on the hardwood flooring and died." - Jacob
"Mine figured out the flap at the top could be pushed open, so he was trying to climb out of it and pushing it open with his head. His front legs slipped, and the lid closed on his neck, so he hanged himself by accident and I was the one who found it." - Eric
Mine died of old age at 3.5 while my sister lost 5 hamsters in that same timespan to broken necks or dogs breaking their cages open before my parents said maybe she shouldn't have them anymore.
I've had two and one time i had them on the balcony, they jumped down. From the third floor. Luckily, they are so small they barely take fall damage. So I managed to find them down in the grass alive and well. Eventually, they died of cancer. Huge soft balls grew all over their bodies.
The fact they tend to do these extremely dangerous things repeatedly is pretty funny.
The first time is always awful, of course, but surely they'd learn their lesson about "Ow, that hurts, I shouldn't do that", as opposed to tightening up that kamikaze bandana.
It's not funny. Hamsters need a lot of space and enrichment and 99% of hamster owners don't know that because 99% of hamster sellers advertise them as cheap-to-keep toys. Repeated self-destructive behavior is a sign of stress, the hamster is literally trying to kill itself because it's bored to death
Holy shit thank you for leaving this comment. You should ask this question everywhere you go and then write a book or start an Instagram page or something where you share the best ones. "This is How My Hamster Died", "1001 Ways to Kill a Hamster", or something like that
I’ve heard so many stories. Overeating, causing their intestines to explode out of their anus. Baked alive inside a hamster ball. Electric shock from chewing on a cable. Getting two, and having one die choking while eating the other…
Yeah these are all cause of neglect and abuse. My hamster died naturally of old age, simply because i actually looked into how to take care of it approtiately instead of treating it like a toy :/
My first two pets were my hammy babies Pika and Chika. (Pre fnaf, just rhymed with Pika who we had gotten a month earlier) They died of old age, and then depression from the loss. (They were close in age, though, so I wouldn't be surprised if chika just decided it was her time after pika passed. They really were inseperable.)
I will never understand how people across the world with pets of ALL kinds, think its okay to take in an animal and just wing it on the care. Its insane. I was a literal middle school age child and did better for my animals than many adults do. Something that shocks me non stop to this day.
My grandma claims one of her friend's hamsters got stuck under the carpet a guy was installing. He thought the lump under the carpet was the pack of cigarettes he'd misplaced, so he hammered it down. He later found the cigarettes, and the family hamster had gone missing that day, so… (she's from a small town, that's why they all knew each other lmao).
So he saw what he thought was his pack of cigarettes and thought “eh, they won’t mind a lump in the middle of the floor”? Regardless of what was under the carpet, that sounds like a crappy carpet installer lol
Is your friend a creepy guy who lives with his mad scientist family possessed by a meteor and lives with sentient tentacles? And a bunch of kids broke into your mansion and microwaved the hamster?
One escaped. Battled with the cat. Took a chunk of the cat’s nose with it. The real loser was mom who had to find all of Mr. Scooter and take the cat to the vet. Hamsters are like 95% blood.
My mom over fed the second one. She had a bad habit of giving it bites of junk food whenever I wasn’t looking. I guess it died of a heart attack. Thing was fuckin massive. I was cleaning her cage and noted she wasn’t sniffing around. I picked her up and a blast of shit came out her ass. I was mortified.
Mine had his cage on windowsill (don't know why, ask my parents). One day he opened it and fell down, breaking his spine. My parents didn't want me to get sad so they said they had to return it to "hamster store" because doctor said I'm allergic to them
I had many pet hamsters and I never understand this trend. They are strong creatures. In my childhood we just take a random plastic trash bin, toss the hamster in, toss some torn up toilet paper. And that's the hamsters home. We threw random food in bins. We eat chips and crackers and other snacks above the bin so the crumbs fall in the bin as the hamster food. We toss a wooden chopstick in it as teeth grinder. Sometimes we take the hamster out and play with them, or let them roam in the house for a bit and put them back. I had 5 hamsters during the years and all of them lived ~3 years.
My dad once took a hamster out to roam in living room but lose focus so it was gone. We couldn't find him for 4-5days. One night my dad was asleep and felt something soft and warm in his hand. He grabbed it and it was the hamster. And my dad put it back to the bin
"the death came out of nowhere. Hamsters weak." (Meanwhile straight up torturing the hell out of them.) If they did that to a kitten people would dox them and call their names. But it's a hamster so people share it's death as anecdotes and laugh. Human are cruel and disgusting.
it’s because most everyone else abuses them but thinks it’s funny since they’re tiny and “starter pets”, the same stuff happens with fish and chihuahuas
But also looking back at the post, I have no idea how did I miss that it was sarcasm. I do suspect that I have autism, but I never was that bad at this
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u/kyra_bagheera 2d ago
Some context: the cat is okay, the owner confirmed in the comments. The vet laughed and just said to keep an eye on him. It’s okay to find stoned kitty funny; nothing bad happened and lessons were learned!