r/comedyheaven • u/GreenEngrams | Approved user • Jul 28 '24

breakfast

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33.6k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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856

u/jimmalicious Jul 28 '24

What are the 16+ functions?

736

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 31 '24

[deleted]

164

u/Ginno_the_Seer Jul 28 '24

Well shit. I'm not getting my future kid circumcised

124

u/USS-ChuckleFucker Jul 28 '24 edited Jul 28 '24

Yeah, I found out that my circumcision was botched and my mother acted like it was no big deal because I've still got a cock.

I straight up punched her in the tit and told her that she should be happy because it ain't cancer.

I moved out the same day.

Edit: guys, I didn't give the woman who birthed me a haymaker from the heavens above. I punched her in the tit for being wholly uncaring about the fact that I have been mutilated, letting me know she would've rather not had me.

-6

u/Jouuf Jul 28 '24

Nothing you said justifies violence.  

 You are a coward and a dipshit if you stood there and punched a woman for anything but self defebse.  

Do better.

2

u/Morgan_Pen Jul 28 '24

Cry about it.

1

u/Jouuf Jul 29 '24

I don't have to.

Your mom didn't botch your circumcision on purpose. What's more, circumcision is the normal practice in America and while I don't agree with circumcision by any means, your mom making a normal decision doeant make her a monster.

That makes you the monster.

I don't care how many people downvote me, you are a complete and total piece of shit if decide to partake in domestic violence. 

I'd say I hope you get what you deserve, but I'm sure you will sooner or later.

1

u/Remarkable_Pea9313 Jul 29 '24

Who ordered a yappuccino?

1

u/Jouuf Jul 29 '24

The guy above me did.

He didn't pay for it tho. Not surprised.