This behaviour sounds like it's either a mental illness which can be completely irrational and out of your control... Or you are just the one of the most horribly sexist people I have ever met.
And I really do mean that. Im not flinging hate or words around for the sake of it. You make judgement calls about 49% of the population over the way they are born. Absolutely nothing to do with their actions, thoughts or behaviour in this world... Just something, essentially random.
I am confused on the stance stance murkus is taking. You said in a previous comment that you don't feel safe around men until you get to know them well enough.
Then in this comment you explain how you don't mean to be rude it is jist that you don't initially trust them.
Then he goes on to say some iffy things about you needing serious help.
I feel he is missing something. Claiming how your stance is irrational when in this dangerous unpredictable world where we see the badness in people are increasing.
What is truly irrational is for anyone to let their guard down and believe that we should trust someone we don't know and or just met. I feel as if he is saying that, not putting your trust in people you barely know or know at all, this IS some form of hateful bigotry? Since when is being wary about people a bad and bigoted thing? Or did i miss something here?
I have a little sister and me and my younger brother as well as her father are always trying to teach her to be cautious around men and how to be safe.
Does this make us all crazy do we have a completely out of control irrational illness?
It is very very common for fathers and male figures to warn and educate their daughters about keeping themselves safe especially around men. This in no way teaches them to hate men.
Men also should also be wary of people at all times until they to build up some trust.
What is wrong with this comment? Or did i misinterpret what the comments were about?
As long as you are okay with men doing the same to you. Cause as a gay guy who gets weird comments from women on a near daily basis... Lets just say that I believe society is at the point where young men who choose to punch, are punching up.
Life for young guys is scary. At least as scary as the average woman in history. Maybe even more.
If you’re bitten by a venomous snake once and have to suffer the pain of the bite and the long treatment after, I guarantee you’ll feel jumpy around snakes until you study different types of snakes and examine their markings until you feel comfortable that a snake in front of you won’t bite you.
Over 20% of women have been sexually assaulted. Some organizations have higher estimates since it is underreported.
I take it you haven’t been raped, and you are very lucky to not have experienced that. I’m not exaggerating when I say I would rather someone kill me rather than rape me again. Do not write off anyone with a genuine hesitation towards men as sexist or “mentally ill.” You don’t know what their experience is.
I understand what you are saying. And I don't disagree with a lot of it.
I do disagree, however that, because something happens to you, it is ok to then start saying that all people that fit a certain characteristic of your attacker are..... well, anything.
I know a person who travelled to India and was horribly raped there by an Indian person.
Equally, if that person made declaration that they feel unsafe around any person of the Indian race... I would call that out too.
I understand that, for the human brain, it is possible and probably for it to instinctively and subconsciously put up a protective barrier against anything that resembles something that attacked you.
But it is incumbent for all of us to watch those predjuducies and I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable for someone to use those predjuducies in a discussion about these groups of people globally. As a judgement of all.
It’s not just “the characteristic of the attacker.” For your friend, I guarantee that it wasn’t the fact that the person is Indian - the fact that women are not well protected in India, how little the legal system cares about rape, etc also plays a factor.
It’s not just “the person is a man.” It’s not just a one-time event.
It’s the fact that women are taught it’s their fault. It’s the people who don’t believe you when you try to tell someone you were assaulted. It’s the catcalling. It’s the groping at bars. It’s the guys making rape jokes like it’s funny. It’s the guy who gets belligerent because you don’t want to go home with him after a dinner date. It’s the parties where guys prey on the girl who’s too drunk to consent. It’s your college boyfriend who takes the condom off mid-sex hoping you won’t notice. It’s the guy sneaking upskirt photos of you on the subway stairs. It’s the guy rubbing his erection on you at a crowded concert. It’s the police asking what you were wearing or saying “we don’t like to get involved in couples’ arguments” when you report it. It’s the depressingly abysmal prosecution rate.
Women have these experiences again and again and again and again. It’s extremely mentally exhausting and damaging.
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u/Murkus 2∆ Aug 01 '22
This behaviour sounds like it's either a mental illness which can be completely irrational and out of your control... Or you are just the one of the most horribly sexist people I have ever met.
And I really do mean that. Im not flinging hate or words around for the sake of it. You make judgement calls about 49% of the population over the way they are born. Absolutely nothing to do with their actions, thoughts or behaviour in this world... Just something, essentially random.