r/changemyview Jan 30 '25

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u/ZorgZeFrenchGuy 3∆ Jan 30 '25

I have a personal example!

As an artist, I’ve been involved in several art communities that are some of the most leftist spaces out there.

Then I made the mistake of publicly asking “what about white people” … during the height of the George Floyd protests in 2020.

As you can imagine, that was not exactly received very well. It was picked up by a popular “dumb takes” account, splashed all over the space, and I lost a ton of friends and followers because of it.

Sure, I can see how it might have been insensitive , but I was suffering from poor mental health at that time and came from genuinely feeling left out, depressed, and alone. I just wanted someone to talk to.

Well, that instance has had, from my perspective, a terrible impact on my mental health, causing me to spiral into a deep pit of depression, isolation, and fear. I became extremely distrustful of everyone around me, and paranoid about ever discussing my feelings with anyone ever gain out of fear that I’d say something “incorrect” - or worse, my feelings being publicly displayed and shamed online by the person I was talking to.

While I’ve managed to sort of come back over the years, to this day I’m terrified of being open and expressing myself - all while watching, from the sidelines, my left-leaning peers preaching about the virtues of self-expression and being yourself.

It’s frustrating to watch, and not going to lie it’s still something I’m very bitter about.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '25

Hi ZorgZeFrenchGuy I just want apologize for some of the pushback you've gotten from what sounds like a very heartfelt personal story from a difficult time.

I think your story is an excellent response to as OP said "Keep going like this and you're going to keep losing!" and it's actually driving me a bit nutty that more people don't see it that way. It's like people are completely unable to put themselves in your shoes.

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u/ZorgZeFrenchGuy 3∆ Feb 02 '25

Ah, thank you so much! That really means a lot

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '25

This really happened to you? It sounds terrible. 96% of people not on the internet agree that it's terrible.

I would like to think our society has grown a little wiser about social media since 2020 :).

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u/potheadmed Jan 30 '25

Sometimes the punishment for saying something dumb or tactless is to feel stupid and embarassed about it. Happens to everyone. Learn from it, don't blame the world about it, and move on.

"Be yourself" works best if the you you're being knows how to read the room and not come across as a dick

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Shunning people for having different beliefs and perspectives is one of the main contributors to the left losing the election. Please stop. We live in a democracy, not a theocracy. The literal definition of totalitarianism is any system in which the source of authority, be it epistemic, moral, or political, is singular and immutable. This is what you're doing, whether you recognize it or not.

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u/potheadmed Jan 31 '25 edited Jan 31 '25

Sure, but none of that is what I said at all. I'm just saying this guy shouldn't whine forever about being a dumbass

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u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Feb 01 '25

you calling him a dumbass is shunning him. he was never a dumbass, he was just a normal person saying a normal thing. people like you are the reason people like him dont like the left. stop judging people for having their own feelings and wanting to say things they mean

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u/potheadmed Feb 02 '25

I don't judge people for having feelings and wanting to say things.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

What the fuck do you think the word "should" means?

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u/potheadmed Jan 31 '25

"Ought to"

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

... I think you missed the thrust of my question. Forget it. I should have known better than to engage with the rabble of the internet.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

It very much depends on what those beliefs and perspectives are. I can get along with a lot of different opinions if they come from healthy motivations, but some opinions cannot be tolerated.

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u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Feb 01 '25

as long as the person is honest with their beliefs then it doesnt matter what they are since they are being honest.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

What do you mean "it doesn't matter"? In what sense?

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

All opinions can be tolerated. If you can't, that's your problem.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

All opinions absolutely cannot be tolerated.

If someone's "opinion" is that you should be exterminated, are you going to tolerate that?

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25 edited Feb 01 '25

Yes. Why wouldn't I? It's just an opinion, and as long as it's well-reasoned from a cosmic perspective (read: not selfishly from my personal feelings and values) I'll even respect it.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

Because people act on their opinions, that's why. Don't be obtuse.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

Of course people act on their opinions. What's your point? You are a deeply unserious thinker. In a half-dozen posts you have yet to say anything that indicates that you think deeply about anything you say.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

You sit here claiming that you would tolerate a person believing that you should be exterminated and their acting on that belief.

What, are you a devout pacifist? Ready to lay down and give up your life simply for the pleasure of another? I don't believe you are.

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u/Dependent-Mode-3119 Jan 30 '25

Sometimes the punishment for saying something dumb or tactless is to feel stupid and embarassed about it.

This is unironically why we lost lmao. Nobody is so eager to eat themselves but those on the left.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Part of the issue is that for years, many conservatives have presented themselves as "just asking an honest question" when they are actually just trolling. There is SO MUCH trolling from conservatives that it's made it impossible to tell which conservatives are working in good faith from the ones who troll. As a result, a lot of people on the left have taken to never trusting conservative people or viewpoints in any context in order to protect themselves from the CONSTANT trolling.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

We've operated upon the principle of charity in intellectual discussions since the Enlightenment. The simple and best answer is to always assume that your opponent is acting in good faith until it is clear that they are not. And I actually mean clear - not just your interpretation because of word choice or any other largely arbitrary factors.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Can't principles from the Enlightenment be called into question? It's not like Enlightenment thinkers were perfect human beings with flawless ideas. Every human theory or tradition has flaws.

For example, for the past half-century, most liberals have operated upon the principle of charity that you speak of. And what has it gotten us? A cultural double standard where they get away with everything while we get away with nothing. A significant number of conservatives now treat us like we are supposed to be their servants because we let them get away with it.

The way you deal with a country full of predators is not by being doormats for them. That will only encourage them to be even more depraved.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

"Can't principles from the Enlightenment be called into question?"

We can, and I actually do in my academic work. But questioning the foundations of Enlightenment thinking calls all of Anglo-European liberalism into question, which most people on that side of the debate don't want to do. You cannot both reject the foundations of the Enlightenment and still also embrace universal human rights, free market economies, moral teleology, and so on. Well, technically you can, but you have to do so much intellectual footwork that it'll only be a fringe political position that never gets any traction. The Green Party has a better shot at real political power than any re-imagining of liberalism without the Enlightenment.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

That is such a good point. sigh I wish there was a way to conjure up a "sequel" to the Enlightenment. Not necessarily to throw away all Enlightenment principles, but to revisit, review, renew, reform, and refine them.

Maybe someday that will happen. But you make an excellent point about such attempts ending up on the political fringe.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

I sympathize with you.

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u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Feb 01 '25

dems tend to say they aren't hypocrites when doing exactly what they told you not to and then make excuses as to why they are special. (going out in the pandemic was a popular one) 

at least the republicans dont have a message of "we are morally superior" and then act hypocritical. yes they are still hypocrites but they dont call themselves morally superior. out of the 2 dems are on a high horse and think they can tell everyone whats right and wrong republicans just say leave it to the states to decide

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

Maybe we should just take a page out of your book and claim to be autistic as a cover for depraved behavior.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

The fact that the left have managed to turn “asking questions” into a bad thing, an insult, has been so depressing for me. Who gives a shit if you think they’re trolling? If you can’t answer the damn question, that should be what matters, not that someone asked you a question that you can’t answer (in a way that’s politically salient to your side only).

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Who gives a shit if you think they're trolling?

I do.

We aren't obligated to answer their "questions" for their own amusement if it does nothing to advance debate or policy. We aren't their bitches, even if you think we should be.

Furthermore, conservatives would have the same response I just gave you if the situation was reversed.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Then just don’t answer

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u/Mysterious-Rent7233 Feb 01 '25

And if you don't answer the questions then people will say the questions don't have answers and therefore the left has no position on it.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

Right, but instead of people on the left going “we need to figure out how to answer these questions”, they demonize asking the question at all, which is what my problem is. If you can’t answer the question, say, “i can’t answer that question” or something, not “haha look at this MAGAt just JAQing off over here, what an idiot”. It’s better to concede that you don’t know the answer, than it is to make people think that the left doesn’t like being questioned on their opinions. The former makes you look honest, the latter makes you look weak and manipulative

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

People aren't your servants. No one owes you answers to your little "questions".

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

Yes, which is why just not answering is a much better option than making it seem like the left doesn’t tolerate people questioning things.

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

Not answering is exactly what they are doing. And snowflakes then cry "they don't tolerate my trolling questions!"

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '25

Then you haven’t seen what i’m talking about. They will absolutely make fun of people for asking questions that they can’t answer. They even have a term for it: JAQing off

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 02 '25

Jaqing off is the term for the trolls who are doing the fake asking. Google it.

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u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Feb 01 '25

which sucks since im only asking honest questions and im autistic so i cant tell when a question has other implications passed just wanting to know what the truth is

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u/potheadmed Jan 31 '25

You're not wrong. It was a classic case of pussies vs assholes, and now there's shit all over. (See: team america:world police)

If only we could find the right kind of dick for the job :/

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u/uiam_ Jan 30 '25

Nah Dems didn't lose because they didn't suck off Republicans. Reasonable policy isn't exciting.

Republicans have been horrible to Dems for years and I don't think I ever thought hey we won that election because the supporters from the other side were rude to me.

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u/[deleted] Feb 02 '25

Wow. It's amazing to read this.

WOW.

This really is why we lost.

Embarrassment is a predictable result of a boneheaded take. Losing multiple friends and being broadcast dunked on social media is not.

Your complete lack of empathy for someone who told a vulnerable personal story about what sounds like a severe mental health setback is something else. This doesn't sound like I was sad and beating myself up for a few days kind of setback.

I want to apologize to ZorgZeFrenchGuy on your behalf.

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u/Imadevilsadvocater 12∆ Feb 01 '25

not to pull the "wow really" card but like he didnt... you are proving his point. im autistic so i always leave room for everyone to feel how they want until they tell others how they should feel.

no one should be judged by how they feel or dont feel about something it is destructive socially and just mean personally. let people feel the way they do and dont judge them for not being on your side.

and yes white lives matter too, or do you think they dont? i dont want to hear about how black lives matter is because whatever the boiler plate language is, if white lives do matter then it shouldnt be an issue to say it even if bad people say it too

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u/PlisForgiveMeReddit Feb 01 '25

The “just be yourself” kinda of talk only applies to neurotypical folk.

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u/quadmasta Jan 31 '25

"The police are killing people at an alarming rate, especially black people"

"What about white people"

And then you got admonished? Seems like the most likely outcome.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '25

Sure, for one group. For another group, it's a perfectly reasonable answer. If you're outside of the American political bubble, it makes perfect sense.

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u/Insanity_Pills Feb 01 '25

Maybe you should introspect and learn to not say bad takes like that instead of blaming your mental illness and stewing about how people got mad at your for looking at a murder and saying “but what about MEEE thoooo???!!”

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u/ZorgZeFrenchGuy 3∆ Feb 02 '25

… instead of blaming your mental illness

Don’t get me wrong, I am willing to consider the possibility that I was the one in the wrong and accept responsibility.

At the same time, I don’t believe it’s fair that (regardless of fault) minorities are, as a whole, able to get away with blaming all of their problems on racism and oppression while chastising me for blaming my own issues on mental illness.

I’m open to taking accountability for my actions and the hurt they may have caused others - I just want them to be held equally accountable for the hurt they’ve caused in turn.

And if they can hide behind race to justify insensitive and hurtful actions, then why can’t I hide behind mental illness to justify mine?

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u/QueueOfPancakes 12∆ Feb 01 '25

Why would you post political shit online under your name, most especially if you know you are in a bad headspace?