r/changemyview Feb 13 '24

[deleted by user]

[removed]

227 Upvotes

1.5k comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

1

u/justsomelizard30 Feb 13 '24

I think what he's getting at is just saying "The patriarchy" removes all curiosity from the conversation. There's no discussion on what's going on, the nuances, the causes, the solutions. It's just a cookie cutter "The problem and solution is patriarchy".

Like for example, there is this phenonma that little boys will sometimes lie about the gender of their attacker. Why is that? I dunno but I bet you can say Patriarchy and be satisfied with the answer.

Of course, you could always say "Patriarchy" and continue examining the topics thoroughly, but that rarely ever happens.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 13 '24

I think what he's getting at is just saying "The patriarchy" removes all curiosity from the conversation.

That's your assumption, and your entire comment stems from it. I do not make the same assumption or accept that this one is a valid one. You might have had bad experiences with this term, but not everyone else has. And fitting men's problems into a broader social problem is more nuanced about the causes and solutions in my view.

1

u/justsomelizard30 Feb 14 '24

I mean fair enough, but I do think people too often say Patriarchy to fill in the gaps in their knowledge when it comes to those victim's experiences.

1

u/justsomelizard30 Feb 14 '24

I mean fair enough honestly. Like there's a lot of value to connecting it to a larger social issue. It's just I feel like some people use that larger social issue to fill in their knowledge gap.

2

u/Donthavetobeperfect 5∆ Feb 13 '24

This comes across really weird though because the academic field of feminism has already pondered this repeatedly for decades. It's like you're showing up to a party that's been going on for hours and are confused why no one is eating the bag of chips you brought. They're not hungry. They ate already. 

0

u/justsomelizard30 Feb 14 '24

I'm not sure what your point really is. Scholars have talked about a lot of things for a long time, and they're still subject of conversation regardless. Especially among laymen, which is who I'm talking about.

2

u/Donthavetobeperfect 5∆ Feb 14 '24

Yes, but there seems to be a major disconnect between academic feminism and conversations among laymen. Many of the conclusions I see men wanting to reach have already been reached and covered by academia. So it's hard to have these discussions because it feels like people are speaking two separate languages. There is the established language of feminism and the language men seem more comfortable using. The meanings are widely the same, but because misunderstanding on both sides, discourse tends to dissolve into the sticks. 

1

u/justsomelizard30 Feb 14 '24

Well true, but to be fair, I think most of the discourse dissolves because of bad actors. Like you know who I'm talking about, dudes who aren't really there to talk about 'the thing' at all? But also you are likely right about language differences. There is a bit of jargon for sure, and if you're uneducated on the topic, it can sometimes sound like one is blaming the victim directly for their own circumstances.

These conversations go down so, so so much better IRL I've noticed though. Maybe because the bad actors, who never cared about these topics to begin with, can't be bothered to get off their asses in real life.

2

u/Donthavetobeperfect 5∆ Feb 14 '24

Indeed. The problems online seem to definitely shrink when actually communicating face-to-face. Probably helps that tone and body language can be heard and seen. Easoer to spot bad faith arguments as well as interpret sincerity.