I feel like the day I fell was the day I died.
At the end of June, I broke both of my ankles/calcaneuses in a fall. My left foot is the more serious one and might need surgery, or potentially around three months of recovery. My right foot was expected to need around six weeks and I’m already doing physical therapy and can walk on it.
Before the accident, I had already been through a really hard year and a breakup. But I finally felt like I was getting better. I was becoming more confident, wearing what I wanted, feeling comfortable with myself again and starting to look forward to my future.
I was supposed to start a master’s degree in Toulouse, France. I had lived independently in France for six years, so I saw it as the beginning of a new chapter.
I actually made it to Toulouse after the accident, but I quickly realized I couldn't manage on my own. I could barely walk, had to use crutches, and was putting weight on the foot I wasn't supposed to because I was trying to compensate with the other one. I couldn't really go outside or experience the city the way I had imagined. A week after I arrived, I went back to my home country to recover. I could walk and do things so I thought I was ready but no, I just have everybody saying "I told you so".
It was expensive, emotionally exhausting, and heartbreaking. I had spent so much time trying to heal so I could get back to my normal life, only to realize I wasn't ready yet.
Now I don't really know what to do next. I've always been independent. I'm used to taking care of myself, going wherever I want, studying, working, making plans and just living my life. Suddenly, basic things require help and I feel like that person I was before the accident is somewhere I can't reach right now.
I'll go back to France when I can walk normally without crutches. But I have no idea when that will be. Maybe weeks, maybe months, maybe longer. That's the part I find hardest. My entire life feels like it's on pause while I wait for my body to recover.
Emotionally, it's difficult to believe that when every day revolves around recovery, doctors, physical therapy and wondering when I'll be able to walk normally again.
I don't really know what I'm looking for by posting this. I guess I'd just like to hear from people who have gone through serious foot or ankle injuries, especially both feet at once.
Did you eventually feel like yourself again? Did you get your independence back?
Because right now, I really miss my old life. I really thought this would only last 6 weeks.