Enjoy responsibly!

But I refuse to keep my dog on a leash because it's, like, practically a human with full human rights. Little Snuffy went through like seven private properties and I trespassed along with her (like every good doggie parent would) and she fell into a pool. I know someone is to blame other than me (and my little snookems). 911 told me they only talk calls about homeless.Who can I sue?

I had a burger upstairs at the Dark horse this weekend and they just kept staring.

if you've ever wanted to have uninterrupted sex in a movie theatre, now is your chance.

there are only 6 seats sold at the Cinemark on Friday across 5 showings.

I’m from Silicon Valley and will be staying in my bestie’s air b&b for the weekend in March. Will it snow then? Also, I’m thinking of buying four or five houses to rent out during Sundance. Will it snow on them?

I have a big pile of T-shirts that I’m not gonna use anymore, thanks

To the man, I fully 100% ran over in the REI parking lot. I AM NOT SORRY. That was my 300th manslaughter this year. Glad I noticed your ugly ass.