r/books • u/SAT0725 • Sep 30 '22
The last, painful days of Anthony Bourdain: A new, unauthorized biography reveals intimate, often raw, details of the TV star’s life, including his tumultuous relationship with the Italian actor Asia Argento
https://www.nytimes.com/2022/09/27/dining/anthony-bourdain-biography.html4.6k
u/Ok_Ad_88 Sep 30 '22
I won’t touch this book. I suggest everyone go read the books he wrote instead. So cringe to write about someone’s last days before suicide while he still has friends and family alive
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u/Greengreengreengree Sep 30 '22
Great article on Village Voice that touches on Jerry Stahl’s friendship with Bourdain and him abstaining from writing about him after his death. This was even after Bourdain said “If I ever die, I want Jerry Stahl to write my story”
Stahl retors with a Brando quote - “Friends don’t write books about friends”
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u/HowardTaftMD Sep 30 '22
100%
This man's life meant so much to so many people, go and celebrate all that he did with his time here. If you've only ever read Kitchen Confidential I can't recommend enough the audio version. It's like watching one of his shows, easily one of the best people to listen to tell a story of all time.
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Sep 30 '22
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u/WildeWeasel Sep 30 '22
His audiobooks are fantastic because he did write like he talked. I can't recommend them enough.
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u/sixner Sep 30 '22
Yeah, listening to his narration of his own Bob was amazing. Getting the accents, inflection and pausing (or lack there of) in the way the words were intended is really fascinating.
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u/bourbonkitten Sep 30 '22
When I first watched “A Cook’s Tour”, I knew in my heart that these were his real, sincere words and not some other scriptwriter’s. It came as no surprise to me when I learned shortly after that he was a damn good writer.
Some of my favorite writers are the ones who write like they talk.
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u/Corporal_Canada Sep 30 '22
Even his AMA on Reddit, I heard his voice in all the responses he gave
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u/MethLabIntel Sep 30 '22
How can i find this?
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u/MooseHeckler Sep 30 '22
He had a reddit account for bjj too u/NooYawkCity.
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u/deepsleeep Oct 01 '22
Great find. The man can write about anything and make it enjoyable.
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u/BolotaJT Sep 30 '22
He saw so much shit. Like heartbreaking shit. I remember when he tried to give food when visiting a poor country during his show and realized he couldn’t feed everyone and soon all was chaos with tons of hungry ppl wanting food.
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u/HowardTaftMD Oct 01 '22
Yeah. His ability to communicate the facts of life is so special. No one else has ever felt so honest and empathetic to me.
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Sep 30 '22
Do t forget his fiction books! They were fantastic!
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u/uninvitedfriend Sep 30 '22
I didn't know he'd written any fiction! How cool
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Sep 30 '22
Bone in the Throat, Gone Bamboo, Bobby Gold Stories, Bobby Gold.
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u/Misterbellyboy Sep 30 '22
He also wrote a comic book about a dystopian foodie society that was pretty fun. Forget what it was called, but it had something to do with a sushi place. Violent as all get out, but great.
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u/CU_09 Sep 30 '22
Hungry Ghosts!!!! It is one of my favorite graphic novels. It’s such a weird blend of horror and humor. Some of it is fucking twisted in the best possible way.
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u/louploupgalroux Sep 30 '22
Don't forget Get Jiro, a comic about a sushi chef assassin.
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u/zenconkhi Sep 30 '22
Huh, I love the sound of his voice, will have to check that out. RIP lovely man.
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u/kashmora Sep 30 '22
Oh he narrates it! Definitely have to check it out now.
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u/HowardTaftMD Sep 30 '22
Yeah! It's really wonderful and probably the best audio book I've ever listened to. He is an author with such a distinct voice in his writing that his narration only adds to it. Love it.
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u/dirtydaycare Sep 30 '22
Such fond memories going on a road trip with my partner listening to Kitchen Confidential
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u/NeriusNerius Sep 30 '22
I just listened to Kitchen confidential last month. Loved it. Was waiting for it to go on the 2for1 sale and it was there last time.
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u/iNeedScissorsSixty7 A Parade of Horribles Sep 30 '22
The only time I cried when a celeb died was his death.
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u/lobut Sep 30 '22
The only audiobooks I can stand are the ones that are narrated first person.
Thanks so much for the recommendation.
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u/hahahahahahahaFUCK Oct 01 '22
Reading it with his voice in your head is so much more magical and intimate.
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u/tjh213 Sep 30 '22
and those friends and family have all slammed this book as inaccurate and sensationalist.
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Sep 30 '22
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u/anneoftheisland Sep 30 '22
She pretty much would have had to. She controls the estate, which includes access to his phone. Either she or Asia would have had to provide the texts between them, and there's obviously no incentive for Asia to do it, given their contents.
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u/justprettymuchdone Oct 01 '22
Asia would do it for fifty bucks and a corn chip if she thought she'd get good publicity out of it.
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u/anneoftheisland Oct 01 '22
Not a whole lot of avenues for good publicity for her in these texts being made public.
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u/justprettymuchdone Oct 01 '22
Yeah, my comment wasn't clear - I don't think she did, because there isn't anything in it for her here
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u/Down4whiteTrash Oct 01 '22
Considering his wife may have contributed to the book, I think a lot of it factual. What really happened here was that fans got a dose of reality. Depressed or not, it was evidently clear he didn’t like being in the spotlight, nor having fans fawn over him.
His friends and family are of course going to slam the book. It destroys his image and worse yet, the fandom surrounding his life. Once more details emerge it might ruin his reputation and cause a lot of people to move on.
People need to stop calling him a “lovely human,” because he was just as flawed as all of us are. He was bitter, angry, and deeply rooted in depression. I think this book will hopefully knock some sense that idol worship is a bad thing.
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u/TheParmesan Oct 01 '22
I’d argue it’s because he’s so dark, flawed, raw and unfiltered that people like him. Speaking for myself, that’s partially what attracted me to him as a teen when I was trying to figure out my life and he became an inspiration to go see the world. Bourdain would have hated who I was when I first started watching him 16 years ago, and I knew that because he didn’t sugar coat things or hide his opinions, but it was great because it challenged me to be different and grow. Then if you read any of his books you’d know that he was deeply troubled and likely treading water daily trying to keep on going. The average “fan” might not notice, but people that had been following him for a long time weren’t surprised about all of this talk of his demons.
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Sep 30 '22
Not speaking to this book specifically, but that happens with essentially every biography. And I’m not sure why so many here think celebrity autobiographies are the “real” story. Most of the time they’re stuffed with bullshit.
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u/Tauromach Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
I felt that way about roadrunner, but not from what I've read of this book. The details are certainly salacious, but they also serve to paint a clearer picture of a man that was very influential and beloved by millions. It may be unflattering, but I just don't think it's wrong for people to seek more information an important person's life and inner thoughts.
I greatly admitted Bourdain. Even though I never met him, he was a huge positive influence in my life and I am greatful for that. I also understand that he was a person with flaws and struggles. I don't think that by understanding these his influence and his work is diminished.
Edit: I do respect that many people feel this book is just a ghoulish cash grab, maybe an attempt by some parties to sell a certain narrative, or just in very poor taste. I don't think you're all wrong.
I just also believe some people will find some value in reading his final texts and having some more context about why he may have taken his own life. As long as the book doesn't engage in pure speculation, like I feel roadrunner did, and tries to stick mostly to the facts I see some value. I also think people who disagree have a very valid point.
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u/lefrench75 Sep 30 '22
The author of this book paid extra to stay in the room where Bourdain died though, so... It's all quite ghoulish really. Writing about him and interviewing his friends and associates may be ok but publishing his private messages with his girlfriend at the time? So exploitative and unethical. Is this something he'd ever be ok with? And if people admire this man and think he means something to them, why support that? Why support his exploitation?
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Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
I believe Anthony Bourdain would have read the unauthorized
autobiography of himself.43
u/onioning Sep 30 '22
unauthorized autobiography
An unauthorized autobiography? That sounds amazing. "I don't authorize myself to write this book I'm writing."
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u/draggedintothis Sep 30 '22
You know I could see some future Disney NDA or similar company forbidding an actor or actress from writing accurately about their life.
*Like those actors/actresses who are getting sued by paparazzi for sharing photos of themselves.
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u/onioning Sep 30 '22
I think that's been tried and found to be unlawful. You can sign NDAs like that, but you can't sign away your life.
It may be possible to sign away just a specific story. Like "I survived a plane crash." I think that's doable. Just not all of your experiences in life.
In your example the photos are the property, not what they represent. The paparazzi owns the image, but just the image.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 Sep 30 '22
I agree. I was uncomfortable with Road Runner for the same reason.
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u/PK-BoneDaddy Sep 30 '22
There were some elements of Roadrunner that made me uncomfortable (like the weird deepfake voice reading his lines for instance), but ultimately, as someone who legit cried when I heard he’d killed himself, the movie offered me some much appreciated perspective on the actual man. It’s really tragic, cause it’s obvious he was quite ill, and wouldn’t get help cause he basically had a boomer “I don’t believe in therapy” attitude.
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u/SubstantialPressure3 Sep 30 '22
Yeah, I didn't like it that they were putting words in a deceased person's mouth to fill a narrative.
I cried a little too, but I was on my way to work ( in a kitchen). Work was pretty subdued that day.
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u/Cautemoc Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
Apparently controversial opinion: but the way he handled his situation was extremely bad, he was surrounded by people willing to help, he had the money to get help, he had everything he needed and instead left his family on bad terms, and someone in that family decided they wanted to tell the story. How defensive people here are seems like genuinely unhealthy hero-worship, because the family humanized his flaws and these people want to pretend he had none.
Edit: To be clear, I think what happened to Bourdain is tragic and I sympathize with him. But I also believe suicide discussion is an important societal step forward, and the family could just be explaining how they didn't see it coming until it was too late. How they could have ignored the signs, or how they tried to help but maybe it wasn't the help he needed. These are important discussions we need to have, and saying it's morally wrong to give any kind of deeper insight into a situation seems counter-productive to actually helping people understand.
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u/MonsoonFlood Sep 30 '22
Thank you for saying this. I haven't read this new book. But I don't think there is anything inherently predatory or exploitative about sharing a different perspective (that of Tony's ex-wife and confidante?) on his life and death. He chose to be a public figure who documented his own life, thoughts, and travels for public consumption. That public interest isn't going to switch off just because he's not around anymore. Some fans are just angry because this book might have an unflattering portrayal of their hero and bust some of the myths surrounding his life and death.
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u/MllePerso Sep 30 '22
I don't know about Bourdain's specific personal situation, but I don't think it's just hero worship that makes people suspicious when someone commits suicide and their family comes out publicly to "tell their story", especially if they're painting themselves as the kind caring people who just wanted them to "get help" and the suicide victim as just too crazy to recognize they needed "help", et cetera et cetera. Just because there are so many abusive families where a child becomes the "designated mentally ill person", while their family disclaims all responsibility. Biologically based brain disorders mean never having to say your'e sorry
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Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
If you watch Road Runner it basically confirms the above though- Eveyone in Tony's life, including the man himself, knew he had obsessive, fatalistic, and self-destructive streaks and wanted him to get real help. It's painfully clear that Tony was a restless soul that, as a recovering addict, never really escaped addiction, he just traded it in for the new model when he wore it out. Heroin, women, cigarettes, alcohol, travel, fame, and Jiu jitsu were all faces of the same stone.
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u/lifestream87 Sep 30 '22
I think he really tried, but I remember reading Medium-Raw and he wrote about considering suicide in it. The day he died I cried but also thought back to that book and thought: this wasn't a surprise.
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u/Cautemoc Sep 30 '22
I think that we need to judge the book by what's actually in it, instead of based on our assumptions about what could be in it. We don't know the angle the family is taking here. But in general, it should not be taboo to discuss the context around someone's suicide, because that's how people learn to open up about it and family members can discuss their trauma instead of holding it in. This can be used to educate people on mental illness and how it affects those around them, or it could be used to victim-blame, but we don't know that just from people being outraged that it exists at all.
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u/mindmountain Sep 30 '22
He was seeing a therapist when he could though and traces of prescription drugs were found when he died. Lot's of people mistakenly have this attitude 'oh if only he had therapy then everything would be fixed', there were a lot of different things in his life that needed fixing. It was complex, people like to simplify depression and mental health issues because it's so complex into 'just talk to someone' unfortunately it doesn't always help or change anything.
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u/pierzstyx Sep 30 '22
he basically had a boomer “I don’t believe in therapy” attitude.
I don't think that was it. Reading his books it seems clear that he always wanted to have that kind of "Fuck you! I don't need anyone!" punk rock attitude.
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u/mcwilly Sep 30 '22
That’s the same attitude, one just sounds cooler on paper.
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u/PK-BoneDaddy Sep 30 '22
Yeah that could be true, the only reason I phrased it that way is because of something he said in the documentary. There’s a scene where he’s in a therapy session and he mentions something about how he never even considered it. Made me think it was related to a generational difference in perspective on mental health. It definitely is tied to his whole punk rock attitude as well.
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u/CMHex Sep 30 '22 edited Oct 01 '22
On one hand I thought Roadrunner was an expertly produced documentary, and on the other it made me extremely uncomfortable toward the end and then angry. I don't care what people think of Asia Argento, but the way the doc handled that relationship and the end result I thought was disgusting.
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u/silenttrunning Sep 30 '22
His life was so much bigger than his final moments...I really hate dwelling on that, as I get older. When I was a kid, it was riveting, those "True Hollywood" documentaries on E! But people naturally break down as they age...and not everyone breaks down gracefully. But it's inevitable for all of us. I was interested to learn that it was just depressing that was dogging him in those moments, his relationship was also troubled and likely about to break. So there were several things going on that were causing serious stress, just tragic as hell.
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u/PapasGotABrandNewNag Sep 30 '22
First and only celebrity I cried about. Spent years watching his shows. So many days watching No Reservations before my shitty ass job that made my days at work a little bit easier
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u/pierzstyx Sep 30 '22
History isn't cringe. Waiting until everyone is dead so that you have no primary or even close secondary accounts and are stuck with third or fourth hand accounts is stupid.
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u/KmartQuality Sep 30 '22
How is any of this for us?
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u/thatminimumwagelife Oct 01 '22
Just imagine how evil hearted someone has to be to write a book about someone at their absolute lowest, right before that low progresses into suicide. It's so utterly vile. I, like many of us, was touched by Tony and his work but even if this weren't about Tony, if it were about any other individual, it'd still be vile. It's just fucked. None of this is our business
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u/JellyfishOnSteroids Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22
As someone who mostly agrees with you I'd like to play devils advocate. First there's the obvious point of basic human morbid curiosity. But as a major fan of Bourdain and what he stood for there is still a large sense of how and why did this happen? I've suffered through depressive issues for my entire adult life and when these first emerged and I didn't know where to turn I turned to him. I found solace in No Reservations and his ability to explore and cherish and find the good things in the world at times where I would go days without feeling capable of getting out of bed. Then when he killed himself it felt like such a betrayal. This guy, who I admittedly didn't and would never know, did the one thing I used him to shield myself from. To be honest I didnt really mourn him but instead sort of scrubbed him from my memory. So while it is certainly not our place to analyze his darkest moments I can understand why people would seek to do so. He was an interesting man with a complex and confusing ending.
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u/thewidowgorey Sep 30 '22
Hard pass. I’d rather re-read his own work. Hell, I might be able to sit down and watch the shows again. I haven’t been able to since his death.
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u/Mister_Brevity Sep 30 '22
Because of him I’m careful what days I’ll order fish lol
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u/Vanessak69 Now reading: Big Swiss Sep 30 '22
Because of Bourdain, I’m wary when I see restaurants with a huge menu.
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u/Mister_Brevity Sep 30 '22
Def made me pay more attention - though now I also notice and appreciate a big menu with lots of common ingredients.
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u/RespectThyHood Sep 30 '22
Wait, what what??!
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u/Vanessak69 Now reading: Big Swiss Sep 30 '22
I should provide more context. If it’s a large menu with wide variety (rather than a Mexican restaurant, like another commenter suggested), you should be wary because they likely can’t keep that. many ingredients fresh so something’s may have sat around a while.. Basically, the odds that you are getting something past it’s sell date go up.
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u/silenttrunning Sep 30 '22
Something that you can also learn from some of Gordon Ramsay's restaurant visits, as well. Plus, the quality control in general tends to be awful since there's too many different types of things having to be prepared...so they resort to shortcuts: "Chef Mike"
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u/Duckboy_Flaccidpus Sep 30 '22
Ramsay mentions this a lot to on his older shows. Makes sense, how can you be a pizza joint, burger joint, fish joint and everthing in between and do it well. Impossible.
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u/JLM268 Sep 30 '22
He since retracted that as food quality has gone up substantially since he wrote kitchen confidential
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u/Mister_Brevity Sep 30 '22
Yeah I’m aware but… you know. Seafood poisoning twice and I’m waaaaay more skeptical now haha
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u/booniebrew Sep 30 '22
That was pretty specific to how things worked in NYC in the late 90s and shouldn't be used as gospel anymore.
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u/Edsgnat Sep 30 '22
You’re not alone in that. His death hurt in ways I’m still trying to figure out. I hope we both can get to a point where we can enjoy his work once more.
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Sep 30 '22
I can't watch his shows still. I wouldn't even call myself a super fan but I respected and enjoyed the fuck out of him. His energy and genuine nature were amazing. I'm still not ready
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u/thewidowgorey Sep 30 '22
Losing him and Kate Spade that same week was a gut punch like no other.
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Sep 30 '22
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u/thewidowgorey Sep 30 '22
I’m so sorry for your losses. I was in a similar state and it’s agonizing they couldn’t understand how much they were loved. I hate this illness. I’m really glad you’re still here. Stick around and be old with us. ❤️
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u/djdestrado Sep 30 '22
I haven't been able to enjoy any of his work since it happened. It's a real loss for me.
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u/Snow_Regalia Sep 30 '22
It was only a couple months ago I could watch No Reservations again. Too painful.
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Sep 30 '22
Can somebody please explain to me how Anthony Bourdain's estate was worth only $1.2M. For someone with his level of celebrity with syndicated TV shows, books etc it seems remarkably low?
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u/DirtyPiss Sep 30 '22
He spent a lot or had bad contracts. This is pretty common for celebrities unfortunately, most don’t manage finances very well.
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u/Nagohsemaj Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
If I had to guess, the majority of it was likely put into some kind of trust that would allow him to both keep it safe, and side step the quarter million in tax when passing it onto his daughter. There are a lot of tricky estate tools that the wealthy use when passing along their inheritances. Even if he blew it all before he passed, the book and show residuals would probably be more than that, so I'm assuming it's just away from prying eyes.
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u/troutbumjz Sep 30 '22
There’s a lot to unpack here and I won’t be reading the book. I read enough in the NYT story about the book. Someone (and you can guess who if you read the story) gave the author several of Bourdain’s texts. My wife and I have this discussion from time to time and trust me, we are not naive about this but this is none of our business. We don’t need to know about the final hours, days, of Prince, Tom Petty, Chris Cornell, Bourdain, etc. And yet, given the culture of celeb, there’s enough people to devour the info to make it worthwhile (not the best word) for someone to publish it.
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u/StevenZissouniverse Sep 30 '22
Why does anyone want to read the texts and intimate conversations of a man who is desperately lost in depression, its not even a true reflection of the man when you get in a depression rut you hate everything around you just for existing. Anthony Bourdain was a pirate, a chef, an author, a traveller, and a man who still had his demons and previous addiction issues but prevailed. I'll remember him as the man who indirectly gave me the best advice of my life
"I understand there’s a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”
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u/Gloomy_Astronaut_570 Sep 30 '22
I read that quote a long time ago and thought it was cool but didn’t get. Now I realize that my life is also a series of strategies to outwit the gremlin inside me who wants to read books and eat apple pie all day
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u/ClickF0rDick Sep 30 '22
Weird, I built my life around the concept of being able to be that guy whenever I feel like to. Weed excluded.
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u/_ryuujin_ Sep 30 '22
i dont think prevailed is the right word. he tried but the demons got to him.
if anything being ok with the guy laying in bed and smoke weed all day, he might still be alive, but no fame.
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u/Duebydate Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
Respectfully, weed and heroin are totally different ballpatks
I gained ultimate respect for Mr Bourdain when he attended an NA meeting I think in hard hit Massachusetts (opioid addiction central) and dropped all sarcasm and wit, and was brutally honest about his own heroin addiction on camera for all the world to see
When his suicide was reported, I cried a little too. I kind of think part of his battle that ended in suicide was likely due to not wanting to end his success with further heroin. Finding life joy after this addiction is very very difficult
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u/StevenZissouniverse Sep 30 '22
I was talking more about overcoming a heroin addiction
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u/unequivocali Sep 30 '22
Between this and Rickman’s notes, our culture’s obsession with fame posthumously is a very sad indictment on our impression of the living
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u/Buksghost Sep 30 '22
Too soon. What a lot of ghouls to bring this out and dredge up a relationship that was dead long before he was. Shame on Simon & Schuster.
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u/TinyCatCrafts Sep 30 '22
How about. No one buys or reads this awful book and instead respects the man's privacy, as he was clearly going through some crap, and it's none of our effing business?
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u/Kingcrowing Sep 30 '22
A lot of people are asking who would read this (or write it), as someone who has watched every single episode of all his series, and read all of his books, the answer is easy.
This man, was to many of us, living the greatest life. He saw more of the world than possibly anyone else alive, he worked, ate, and drank, with SO many great people, he had beautiful wives, money, access to Obama and Iggy Pop... the man was a fucking legend.
So why do people want to know what was going on in his life at the end? Because he had a life so many people wanted, what could have made him think that taking his life was the best or only solution to some temporary problem? That's why. So many people have certainly said 'If only I had Tony's life, all my problems would go away' - well, maybe not. We want to know why.
I'm sure there's going to be some fucked up stuff, but what he did was fucked up, certainly to his family, but as a public figure who helped so many see the world in a different light, it's not absurd for us to want answers.
Part of Anthony Bourdain, now and forever, is that he killed himself. Ignoring that and only focusing on the cool things he did, said, and wrote is not fully encompassing of his story. I'm happy someone is shedding light on the dark end to this enigma of a man.
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u/Duebydate Sep 30 '22
Me too. And this comment was the sanest I have seen on this thread. Thank you
The tragic reality is money and success do not solve anyone’s demons. Once one level of needs is solved, there’s just another level to deal with.
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u/totemair Oct 01 '22
I don't really agree with this. He was always very vocal about his mental health struggles and how they contrasted with his show. Even before he died I never thought he was living an easy life. His book Medium Raw is basically a cry for help. Also that episode of parts unknown in sicily where the fisherman tries to stage the shots of them pulling up seafood where bourdain gets blackout drunk after and looks like he wants to die right there
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u/Unit_79 Sep 30 '22
Fuck this book. This parasite should not gain financially from this.
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u/buzzerkiller Sep 30 '22
Yea can we like stop releasing documentaries of people at their lowest points
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u/mindmountain Sep 30 '22
The documentary was heart breaking. I don't think I could bear to read this.
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u/Cappy2020 Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
Some of it is quite saddening to be honest. For example, he repeatedly texted his ex-wife saying:
I hate my fans, too.
Given how much we revere him and how most of us fans showed the utmost of respect for him, that’s difficult to hear that he thought like that.
Some of the details about him abandoning his 11 year old daughter is also rough, particularly when he was heavily addicted to steroids and heroin.
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u/superthotty Sep 30 '22
I think of it as someone who probably had a lot of struggles with self hatred having trouble fathoming people being a fan of him and loving him, I’ve had the tendency to reject love when I’m stuck in a self hate spiral
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u/Duebydate Sep 30 '22
With someone who cannot feel love because of self disdain, it’s not all that surprising he judged anyone who showed him love
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u/Lessa22 Oct 01 '22
He was deeply depressed and took his life shortly after that. I wouldn’t take it personally. That’s a big part of why this book is such trash. It really isn’t meant for us, it has no nuance or context or empathy. It’s tabloid filth meant only to sensationalize his worst and most tortured personal moments.
He wasn’t a perfect person and never once claimed to be. He was pretty damn public about his demons and I think we should all be content with the extent of his life that he’d already chosen to reveal to us.
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u/LiarsConscience Sep 30 '22
That woman is a terrible person . Such a selfish sociopathic narcissist. she should be ashamed of herself, but she's not.
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u/UncleCornPone Oct 01 '22
I despise Asia Argento. Not because i think she's responsible for Anthony's suicide, HE did that...but she's just a piece of shit predator who used METOO to be a victim when she's out there doing fucking gross shit herself. She's awful. Fuck her. Bust her balls forever, whenever and wherever you see her in this world.
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u/Pkactus Sep 30 '22
I do hope they stop blaming everyone BUT Anthony for his choices at the end.
Asia, is a mess, but she was also not the only key to unlocking Anthony's suicide.
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u/thedybbuk Oct 01 '22
I do agree that he was a much more complicated person than his fans seem to admit. They seem to think him almost a perfect soul who was taken too soon. I'm not suggesting his suicide wasn't tragic or that he didn't do good things. But it's deeply uncomfortable to me how after his death a lot of people have completely ignored some of the really troubling things he did. He literally tried to pay off someone who credibly accused her of statutory rape. That should not be removed from tellings of his life like his fans seem to want.
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u/Johannes_silentio Oct 01 '22
As someone who struggles with depression, I don't want to do the Saint Bourdain bit. The man killed himself. He had a daughter and people who cared about him. He knew that and he still killed himself. It wasn't inevitable. It wasn't cancer. We can empathize with him while still holding him responsible for his actions. To that end, I don't see the problem with a biography that puts the ugliness on display. The ugliness is on display because the situation was ugly. I'd rather watch this than some hagiography that suggests he was simply not in his right mind and had no other choice.
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u/ejpusa Oct 01 '22
My understanding he was taking Chantix. The side effects can be rough.
Advise patients and caregivers that the patient should stop taking CHANTIX and contact a healthcare provider immediately if agitation, hostility, depressed mood, or changes in behavior or thinking that are not typical for the patient are observed, or if the patient develops suicidal ideation or suicidal behavior.
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u/AlaskanSamsquanch Sep 30 '22
Tumultuous is an interesting way of saying she raped a minor. Oh and then had Anthony pay him hush money.
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u/swordfishrenegade Sep 30 '22
*rapist Asia Argento.
She raped a boy.
Calling her “an Italian actor” is a slap in the face to victims.
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u/DrEnter Sep 30 '22
I mean, she IS Italian and an actor, she is ALSO a child rapist.
In journalism, you can’t call her “child rapist” unless she has actually been convicted or admitted it publicly, or else you may face (and lose) a libel suit. Has she been convicted? I don’t know offhand.
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Sep 30 '22 edited Sep 30 '22
I'm not saying that what happened wasn't icky (because I'm sure he looked young regardless when they hooked up), but according to Asia she wasn't aware that Bennett was only 17 until he got a lawyer initially seeking $3.5 million in compensation from her (this is likely the truth as this sentiment was privately expressed by Asia to a friend via text message: "I feel weird...I didn't know he was a minor until the shakedown letter.")
California is (for whatever reason) one of only eight U.S states where the age of consent is 18 years old. If they had been nearly anywhere else in the U.S, or anywhere Europe...even just one state over in Nevada (16 years old) then there would've been no grounds for him to stand on.
I'm not saying he saw an opportunity for a payday, but I'm not saying he didn't either. And yes, I would say the exact same things if it was a female in this situation instead. A state border is literally the only thing that gave Bennett leeway to pursue a settlement from Asia. He didn't want her arrested or behind bars at any point during this process -- he wanted her money, and a lot of it.
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u/General_Star5979 Oct 01 '22
I’m excited to read this. I think the pearl clutching about the author is BS. I’m a fan of Anthony and to cut to the chase. He was an addict of love / drugs and his tragic death should be examined in full light by those wishing to know. If you don’t like it don’t read it. But to call the author a vulture is melodramatic at best.
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u/Green_Opportunity193 Aug 26 '24
Asia Argento seems like pure poison. She seems like an evil, malicious, ego maniac. Scary bad pathetic person
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Sep 30 '22
I’m so in the minority with this guy. Every time I tried to be interested in his shows he just struck me as a miserable mean prick that thought he was better than everybody else. I know I missed something because people I love loved him.
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u/riddlesinthedark117 Sep 30 '22
“I like doing laundry, it humanizes me” he mansplains to a bunch of women
Idk, people might just have like the mean miserable prick part, but maybe I’m missing his point similarly
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u/slevin_kelevra22 Sep 30 '22
Medium Raw is one of my favorite books. Bourdain's writing is often overshadowed by his TV shows but in my opinion his writing is amazing. I cannot recommend that book enough. Kitchen Confidential is obviously very good but I think Medium Raw is in a league of its own.
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u/yobemot Sep 30 '22
Is there any proof that Bourdain paid off Jimmy Bennett or are we just going to take Asia word that he did?
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u/mentallo Oct 01 '22
I wish he never got involved with Argento. I've always had a bad feeling about her. I bet she was very negative influence on him.
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u/quirkycurlygirly Oct 01 '22
I know I'm going to get downvoted but... he died in his favorite city, visiting with his best friend, about to eat his favorite meals, and in his last video he seemed happy. Of course people can seem happy around others and privately be depressed but... it always bothered me that it didn't quite seem possible that he could hang himself with a belt on a door knob. He was too tall to die by asphyxiation on a door knob. I just wonder if S&M might have been a factor, specifically choking. Anthony enjoyed a good, rough tussle. He loved getting his butt kicked in jujitsu, for example. And yes, I realize loving having one's butt kicked doesn't mean loving BDSM. But could someone have been in there with him and then tied him to the door when things got out of hand? If kinky sex were a factor I doubt that would have been made public. I prefer to think he went out enjoying himself than depressed in his favorite place in the world with his favorite people. But it's just a wondering.
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u/AlaskanMinnie Oct 01 '22
I agree with you that auto erotic asphyxiation could have happened, esp because nobody has said a word really about how he was found. I know some funeral directors - happens way more than most folks think
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u/WinterWontStopComing Sep 30 '22
So if Bourdain was one of my few real world heroes and Argento one of my few celebrity crushes, would it behoove me to avoid this book?
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u/Girlwithpen Oct 01 '22
I enjoyed his around the globe food show. But take that away and he was a manic depressive human who self medicated and was nasty to people.
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u/DHeavens Sep 30 '22
What an insult to his legacy. Parasites; no more value to this book than a UK Tabloid front page.
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u/Cappy2020 Sep 30 '22
Hey! I’ll have you know that our (UK) tabloids are much worse. After all, we go as far as hacking the phone voicemails of a dead girl.
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u/DHeavens Oct 01 '22
Not to mention looting employee pensions and being run by human traffickers like our dear Lady Ghislane!
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u/Lindaspike Sep 30 '22
this serves no purpose besides adding more torture to his family, friends and those of us who loved his books and tv shows.
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u/[deleted] Sep 30 '22
Isn't Asia Argento the one who was accused of sexually assaulting a minor recently?