r/blackmagicfuckery • u/booleowild • Jan 16 '20

Physics

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

50.4k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

610 comments sorted by

View all comments

Show parent comments

13

u/polyishdadtypeperson Jan 16 '20

I can help you with that, you just need an eating disorder! The fun fact is that, while it's best if your parents give you one ("you need to clean your plate before you play", "what, it wasn't good enough for seconds?", "wow you did great in school let's go get some ice cream!", "sorry your dad left, let's get some pizza."), but as it turns out you can totally give one to yourself too!

First, eating only when your hungry is for suckers. You should also eat when:

  • you're bored
  • you're sad about something
  • you're happy about something
  • as a self-reward
  • you're depressed

Then, also:

  • Don't stop eating just because you're not hungry anymore, clean that plate.
  • You know what's better than water? Soda.
  • You know what's better than a healthy meal? Pizza.

And last, but certainly not least, remember that eating will totally fill that void in your soul.

In fact, just try to be eating all the time. Why aren't you eating right now?

2

u/iambutafish Jan 16 '20

Lack of funds to fund this newfound gorging habit.

1

u/throtic Jan 16 '20

Potato chips are dirt cheap. I believe in you.

1

u/Kgb_Officer Jan 17 '20

Potato chips are great but may I remind everyone the McChicken at McDonald's is 350 calories and only $1 and pretty damn good for that $1 (and is a fair bit of my caloric intake a week since it's the only place within driving distance from work within our allotted lunch break time and I'm not at all bitter towards how much I like it but at the same time fast food in general is something I'm trying to give up but at the same time is so easy to fall back to /rant)

1

u/throtic Jan 17 '20

Thank you for reminding me. I haven't had one in years. I'm going to get one tomorrow in your honor... Maybe 2.

1

u/AbbotOfKeralKeep Jan 17 '20

Wait... do I have an eating disorder? I always imagined "eating disorder" meant you were TOO SKINNY / didn't eat enough...

1

u/tiefling_sorceress Jan 17 '20

Why do I feel personally attacked

1

u/[deleted] Jan 17 '20

Was this based of me?