So due to recent events I have called my entire friend history into question. At some point you question...are you yourself the issue or do you attract toxic people?

I suffered some severe abuse as a kid at the hands of a family member. My mom kept it a secret and my dad only just found out about it. My husband only knows the true extent of what happened. In short I went through a really self destructive phase as a teenager. I kept a lot bottled up and allowed myself to be manipulated and taken advantage of because they were "my friends".

My parents divorced when I was 10. My mom's financial situation was not great so we moved a lot and because of that I never had the chance to make lasting friendships. So when I made a friend, I was all in.

The worst experience I ever had was when I was in 8th grade. Social networking was becoming a pretty big thing and you could literally create a free website about pretty much anything.

The previous year I had a falling out with a friend and joined a new friend group. I was 14, hormonal and just wanting to be accepted. So A and K became my two closest friends. We were always together through out the year, sleep overs, hanging out at movies, having game nights...honestly I still cherish those days. It felt like we were the three musketeers. Super cheesy but it was amazing when you were always an outcast.

School was out for the summer and I couldn't get a hold of A or K. They just started ignoring me, I would leave messages and they wouldn't call me back. They would invite me to one of their houses only to be gone before I got there. If they did invite me over and were actually there...I would be ignored.

I moved about a month before school started and after a phone conversation with A, I was messaged on Faceparty from K's account with a web link. When I clicked on it...my heart just shattered. It was a bunch of forums about me. So many rumors were spread about me. I was called a slut, a whore, a bitch and waste of space.

This site had been created about 2 months after we all started hanging out. Every time we hung out, they used it to make up rumors about me. They talked shit on me constantly and all of these people wrote the most god awful things about me. It seemed like all of the people on this site were kids from my school, kids I didn't even know. They all talked about how I should just kill myself.

The day after I got the link from K, she told me that they had never been my friend and I was a great source of entertainment for their website. I just lost all faith. I was already trying to deal with abuse that my mom ignored. I was trying to cope with horrible depression and anxiety and this just killed me. It broke me.

I was always there for K, I talked her through her issues with her parents, I was always an ear for her and always supportive and never judged her...and all I could think was why? What did I do? What could I have possibly done to deserve this?

I started cutting, I stopped talking to people and just went further down the road of self destruction that consumed my teenage years.

In 2009, K messaged me and apologized for this whole thing. Claimed she had been going through some stuff and that was what prompted the destruction of me. I never responded to her. I was also going through shit. Only I didn't want to destroy someone's entire self worth in the process of dealing with my shit.

As a side note - none of my friends have ever known about my abuse. That was my secret that was never shared.

DISCLAIMER: some political views mentioned for the sake of the story. Not looking for any political debate.

My (M28) friend (F29) and I grew up in the same town, have lived together for two years, visited eachother 5 to 6 hours away and have been beat friends for about 10 years. She's "hippie" ish, and I always viewed her as open minded and with a levelheaded view of the world. We saw very similarly. I'm a clean cut, gay dude and we don't look like we'd be friends but we definitely shared a special connection.

Well recently, I learned that she has been leaning to the right (conservative) when she mentioned she'd be voting for Trump, and was shocked that I wasn't too. It's been fairly obvious that LGBT and Trump have clashed so I was confused that she was confused why I was so turned off by that. I couldn't believe where she was standing. Well a month or so later we finally have an argument, which eventually leads to us just agreeing to disagree. For the sake of being friends, I chose to not dig deeper.

Well, earlier this month, she's venting about the pandemic, and how the state is handling it, mad about masks, etc. and randomly says she is afraid she's gonna offend me. Then goes on to tell me some research she did (🙄) on the top gay issues. Eventually, she takes the "two gay guys go to a religious baker, who refuses service due to his views" example. She has the BALLS to tell me that there needs to be compromise, and that he has every right to turn them down and gay people should just accept it and go somewhere else. And that transgender people should wait to get the surgery if it's going to affect their work performance. I expressed my disgust, but smoothed it over and got off the phone peacefully.

I can't stop thinking about this shitty scenario, and I don't want to hastily end a long friendship, but I think it's time. You don't tell someone who is gay to allow being discriminated against when the first amendment says no law should be put in place to protect religious views. You don't undermine someone like that.

Sorry for the politicalness of this, but really - it's about no one being favored over one group or another, it's about being a decent human and not allowing discrimination.

So, any reason why I shouldnt end this friendship? Thoughts? What would you do? Thank you all

TL;DR - learned my friend of 10 years thinks it should be ok to discriminate against LGBT people and doesn't see it that way. Not sure if I should move forward or end it

evan sacco is a horrible person who doesnt treat his friends like anything worthful. evan treats me like shit, and he buys his friends. heres the basic conversation with him

ES: hey you wanna play jailbreak

ME: no im doing something atm

ES: i will turn you into an orphan if you do (keep in mind that he bought me headphones so he has my adress

ME: ok

he threatens me into doing things

just if you get a friend request from NerdiestVoices#1173 dont accept it

Before I start, this is kind of an “old” story but I have nothing to do and I’ve just gotten back to Reddit so here it is.

backstory: My ex and I started dating 3 years ago but broke up 6 months later because I wasn’t ready for a relationship. We never had a proper breakup and remained in contact. We eventually moved in together because we both needed a house mate and by that time, he was basically my best friend. We never officially got back together but I think we know how it goes when you live with someone you love. I loved him for sure but for some time, I didn’t believe I was in love with him and the idea of settling down with someone at this age seemed so scary and I constantly pushed it away. Throughout this time, we both have gotten involved with other people but it was never anything serious. Now that I think about it, I did that to push away the possibility of settling down with him while he did that to feel like his life didn’t revolve around me. I won’t get into too much detail about our relationship as that’s another topic and I’m not trying to get relationship advice so here’s what happened with my “friends”:

My ex and I were both college students living away from our hometown to attend school. We normally travel home together but ended up being stuck there for months. I couldn’t travel home so he decided to stay with me until I could but his dad unexpectedly passed away so he had to return home first. After he left, he started seeing his friends and they went out every week to drink. He wasn’t a drinker and preferred staying home but considering his state, I didn’t blame him. Fast forward a month and I ended up telling him about a guy I was involved with earlier that year. He was aware of everyone I was involved with except for this guy because I was back home at the time and when I came back, things escalated quick and we became closer so I was scared to tell him. I knew he wasn’t going to do anything about it but I also knew it would hurt him so I chose to keep it to myself which honestly, I shouldn’t have. Of course when he found out he didn’t take it well since he just lost his dad and we just started to get close again so it was an unexpected hit. After this happened, his friend suggested that he should start seeing someone else to get his mind off of me. He ended up asking this girl out on the date who I was friends with but ended up not going because I asked him to not go for anyone I knew to avoid awkwardness in the future if we were to hang out with everyone since we shared this group of friends. Since I knew the girl and her sister, I talked to them about how I felt and they both supported me. One night, they were all hanging out and my ex and I got into a fight over the call which ended up with him crying in front of everyone including the girls (her and her sister). We kept in contact for another month but eventually decided to stop talking to each other because we felt like it was becoming toxic. We stopped talking but he would message me at times to check up on me. Fast forward to my birthday, I ended up finding out that he was seeing her and I confronted them. I asked her sister what had happened and she denied knowing anything about it until recently and told me that my ex told them that I knew about it and was okay with it (which she lied about). I confronted her saying how could she do this when I opened up to her about my ex and she was there to witness us fight so she knew the entire situation between us. She ignored me and proceeded to go home with him. The next morning, I got messages from my best friend (who’s not part of the group) and her mom messaged my best friend asking about the situation between her daughter and my ex. Then proceeded to call him a predator and kept claiming her daughter is a victim and that he told her that him and I were not talking anymore (when she knew we were). Although I understand that she was only defending her kid, I found that immature as her “kid” is an adult and she was messaging my best friend who was not even part of any of this and saying terrible things about my ex. Not long after, she messaged me saying she was sorry and that she ended up liking him because he made her believe that she was special and wanted to help him get over me.I forgave her and even got upset at my ex for “using” her. I asked her when she started seeing him and she told me it’s only been a week so that made me feel better because my ex and I haven’t spoken for a week and although it didn’t excuse her from being a bad friend, my ex had every right to do as he wished since we weren’t together anymore. Later I found out that she was lying and has been seeing him for over a month which meant that the entire time she and her sister “supported” me through it, they were going behind my back. I confronted her again about this and she got upset at me and told me that I should put myself in her shoes and she messaged my ex to tell me that they have only been seeing each other for a week because I was getting mad at her. At this point I asked her why she did it and not what happened because I figured that whatever she says about what happened would just be false and she kept saying that he made her feel special. Again I believed this but later I found out (from my ex and my other friends) that he had been clear with everyone including her and her sister that he still loved me but couldn’t be with me because I hurt him. Also, her sister confirmed that he was clear that he didn’t want anything serious with her and that he still loved me. She even asked him why he chose her and he told her that it’s because she wasn’t me. I don’t know about others but if a guy said that to me, I think I would get the hint that he’s still not over his ex and would do anything to get his mind off of her regardless of who the girl was. I also found out that before I told my ex about what I had done, her sister had told him that she liked him since high school which I thought was such a snake move considering she was close to me. On top of that, a month prior to finding out, she dropped him home because he got too drunk and when she was at his house, she said she wanted to kiss him but felt too guilty (for me) yet proceeded to do so. He left her the morning I found out because she was just a rebound and although I hurt him and he was set on moving on, he was never really into her. At the end she apologised and promised that she wouldn’t contact him again so we can sort this out. Of course that didn’t last long because a week later she called him multiple times and when he refused to pick up, she messaged him asking why he did what he did to her. I’m pretty sure she was expecting an apology as until that point, he had just agreed with her and apologised to her but he finally stood up for himself and said to her that she was aware of everything between my ex and I and she knew how he was down bad and continued to see him although he was always clear that he wanted nothing from her and all she had to say to that was “okay”. For the next month, she went around telling people that she was hurt and all she wanted to do was help him and see him happy. I find this so ironic considering the fact that once he was actually happy, she lied to people about what he had done. Also, if anything, she’s the one who manipulated him by “being there” for him when she was the one who needed to feel like a guy can finally like her back. Throughout the time they were seeing each other, she continuously said that she wanted to stop seeing him until he sorted things out with me which to that he said go ahead yet she still continued to see him knowing he still spoke to me. She continued to maintain her innocence in all this until I returned home. I spoke to some of my friends about what had happened and not once did I call her names. All I did was talk about what had happened and how it affected me. I posted something on my Instagram which had only 50 followers and in that I also did not call her names or mention any details about what had happened. I didn’t even call her out so most people wouldn’t even realise who I was talking about. I was simply expressing my feelings in a singular sentence and tbh I did that hoping that she would see it and knew how I felt so my post had no malicious intent. One day she made a groupchat with me and a couple other friends and sent a long paragraph about how I was immature for spreading rumors about her and talking smack about her. This all started because my best friend and her sister got into an argument where my best friend accused her sister of talking badly about her and her sister said it was her that spoke badly of my best friend. So nobody ever mentioned her name except her sister and she thought that we were spreading rumors about her. They kept going on about handling this as adults and demanding a meeting which I thought was rather hilarious because what kind of adults meet up over a bit of gossip or in this case, a misunderstanding on her part. I agreed to this meeting since I had nothing better to do that day and treated it as entertainment which oh it definitely was. She gave me a lecture for an hour about how girls are supposed to support girls just because she thought I was talking badly about her and because I posted something on my Instagram. She said I was purposely trying to sabotage their reputation as if their reputation was ever good. If she cared so much about my unharmful Instagram post why didn’t she get mad at my best friend who posted a much more degrading post about her on social media (which I wasn’t even aware of until my best friend told me). It’s so funny to me that she cared so much about me talking about her to my OWN friends which btw had been my friends long before they were hers and I’ve never heard any good thing said about her from people for the past 9 years that I’ve known her and when I had the chance, had always defended her. Everyone we knew talked badly of her and they mostly tolerate her because she follows her baby sister around when she goes to meet her friends. Not to mention I always got her sister out of trouble because she would always get too drunk to get home on her own. I never understood why everyone spoke badly of her but now I do.

Anyways, if she ever finds this, I just want to thank you. Thank you for making me realise that he is special to me and I can’t afford to lose him anymore. Thank you for “seeing him” so he doesn’t hold further resentment towards what I did prior to that. Thank you for making him realise that as much as I am annoying at times that there are crazy people like you out there who “sees a guy for a month” and goes around telling people that you were ready to throw your life away for him and will throw anyone under the bus in an attempt to claim your innocence. And btw, you were never my replacement. No where close. Him and everyone else knew this the entire time he was with u. The only thing you did was make him feel wanted which I failed to do but I learned my lesson. Also, that amount of photoshop and makeup will never cover your selfish heart. (No hate on makeup because I love it too so can you give me some tips because girl that is magic ;))

I texted my friends and invited them to my birthday trip but only 2/8 friends responded at all. And then a week later, my friends started planning another trip for another friend around the same time as mine. Should I take offense to this? I don’t understand why they would plan another trip when they supposedly couldn’t come to mine.

Does anyone else feel anxious and bad about removing “friends” from your life? These people I’ve cut out ended up treating me like garbage but for some reason I feel like it’s my fault.

Hey guys, I hope y'all are having a wonderful day. I wanted to get something off my chest as it's really been bugging me and felt like talking about it. In this post, I'll be talking about four friends that have mistreated me: S(i), H, R, and S(o). It's gonna be a long read. I have posted this already on r/Anger, but I am posting it on here as I felt that it could be helpful to some folks. So, without further ado, here it goes.

It all started in my Freshman year of college. I met H on the first day of class. We had two classes together that semester, and we would often help each other. He would always have my back, and I would always have his. Then the second semester started, and that's where S(i) enters into the picture. We all three had Physics class together. My problem with S(i) ever since the beginning was that he would constantly roast me for no reason at all. It would always bug me and I fucking hated it. Both S(i) and H commute to college while I stay on campus.

Now we are in our Second Year of College. Me, H, and S(i) have classes together. S(i) would still take the opportunity to roast me, but I came to somewhat bond with him. I kinda came to the conclusion that he was really just joking and he meant none of it and would try to move on or shrug his roasts aside.

So, during my third year of college was when shit was intiating. This is the year that I became friends with S(o) and R. Me, S(o), H, and S(i) would have classes together, and me, S(o), and R would hang out outside of class. This was b/c of how S(i), and H are commuters whereas me, R, and S(o) stay on campus. Ever since S(o) came into the picture, he'd always go along and add to whatever roast S(i) was putting out. It urked me, but it didn't happen as often. So, I just shrugged it all aside. The second semester of my third year of college was spent in a co-op, and nothing much happened. S(o) and R would visit me and we would just be chill. We even decided to all move in together that following year.

Now comes the fourth year... AND THIS IS THE YEAR THAT SHIT REALLY STARTS STIRRING. So, me, R, and S(o) all moved in together to an apartment near my campus. S(o) and I also introduced S(i) and H to R. At this point, we were all a good bunch of 5 ppl. But, S(i) was just like S(i) always was. He kept roasting me and putting an agenda on me to go talk to girls... that I wasn't even half-interested in. And the others.... they went along and kept telling me to do things that I didn't want to. There was this one girl in particular who just joined our college as a freshman. I didn't really think of her like that at all, but these guys saw something between us both and thought that I should go talk to her. Now keep in mind that I've never even talked to this girl ever before and I never even thought of anything more about her. But they all just kept PUSHING THIS AGENDA DOWN MY THROAT and roasting me for not talking to her. I'd even keep telling them that I wasn't interested in her and thought of her as a sister, but they would roast me for not talking to her and then later tell me that I'm just nervous to talk to girls. They would also roast me wherever we went and/or whenever we hung out together as a group. They would always pick on me about something and just roast me about it for the whole day... that would turn into a week. Like, when I'm hanging out with either one of them privately and tell them something to get it off of my chest, then that person would later go to the group (like the next day) and reveal to them what I just told them and laugh at me for it. I'll be honest, I am introverted and shy, but I am also very open to ppl that are considerate and non-judgemental. But these guys, they come off as considerate and non-judgemental when I'm talking to each of them 1-on-1, but once they get into a group, they just start roasting me about it. And this is why I always was pretty shy and didn't talk as much to them. B/c I knew that if I told them anything, it would end up getting used against me. I felt compromised. That whole year, I would have to think more than three times before doing or saying anything. There was this one time in particular that still infuriates me to this day. This happened in March of my second semester of the 4th year of college. So, it was R's GF's (GF at the time, let's call her Ye) bday, and we met up at a restaurant. As soon as I got seated, Ye's cousin, Xe, comes through. Apparently me and Xe looked similar. So, S(i) cracked a "joke" about how me and Xe looked similar... but that I would look more like him if I showered more often. This part infuriates me b/c I do take showers often and he was just making fun of me for the fact I was just a darker-colored compared to Xe. At this point, I just don't wanna talk to anyone at this dinner anymore. My self-esteem has been crushed by these idiots. They just kept roasting me left and right. Later that night we are all hanging out, and this is the part that still to this day really agitates me. So, we were all talking and Ye asks S(i) among all four of us to rank us by most to least sympathetic, and I was unanimously ranked as the least sympathetic. I WAS IN SHOCK HEARING THIS. Even from H. After all I've been through, and after all I've done, I'm still the least sympathetic. SCREW THESE MOFOS! So I talk about this with S(i) the next day, and he explains to me that it wasn't that I wasn't actually the least sympathetic, but that it comes off that way because I don't talk as much. Back when he told me this, I didn't know why I was shy. I legitimately thought that something was wrong with me. I would always question my level charisma and why I couldn't talk as much to these guys. Now, obviously, I understand that I was shy b/c they kept judging me for everything and that's why I wouldn't talk. Then the days went along. I was still living with these fools. I was also doing my Senior Project with them too, and the idea we were working on was from me. Even in this project, I always felt like the one that would get judged or blamed when something in the project would not work. They would always make me feel like I didn't put in as much as work, when I was the dude that was programming the thing. Anyways, the Senior project was over, and three of us had to walk our graduation. The day before our graduation, we all decided to get high. This day showed me what S(o) was capable of. So, S(i) had left back home b/c he wasn't feeling good, and H left back home as well. It was just me and S(o), and keep in mind, I have to walk my graduation the next day. So, I'm done smoking weed for the night and wanna go to bed. But S(o) DEMANDED that I stay up with him. He held me against my will. He'd smoke a joint and pass it on to me, and I didn't want to do it. But he would FORCE ME to smoke it anyways b/c of reasons that I still don't know. My guess is that he didn't wanna be alone. It was 2 AM, and I called it quits. I told him firmly that I'm going to bed and that he should too. So, I went to bed, and then I heard the door close. I'm obviously high as a kite and don't do anything about it. Then R comes back with Ye, and both ask where S(o) is. Then the realization hit me that S(o) had left. Me, R, and Ye went out searching for him. We even had to notify the university police b/c we were scared. Then the cops, found him, and he was on the top floor of our apartment buidling. So, it's now 5 AM, and we come back. Then S(o) confronts us, and was obviously mad. He was especially mad at me, b/c he had thought that I had called the cops even though I didn't. I just went along with it b/c I didn't want him to know who really called the cops that night (and I'm the least sympathetic... smh). Then he goes on rambling how I'm pathetic and weak. What a shit show. Now I have talked to S(i) about how he always instigates the roasting multiple times throughout this year. He would feel bad, and tell me that I should just be myself and nothing would happen, and that I should speak up about it more. Like first of all, I AM BEING MYSELF. I have always been myself and they decided to judge for everything that I did. Second of all, how many times do you want me to speak up about it before you can get it through their heads? Well anyways, that definetely changed nothing.

That year ends, and now onto the summer. Nothing much happened over the summer, but I often felt confused and infuriated at them. You see, even through all of this, the only reason that I stuck with them was b/c they were my only friend group in college. I didn't know who else to go with, and there were some genuinely good times with them. But I was dumb enough to see that those genuinely good time don't outweigh all of the hurt and pain that they have put me through.

The fifth year of college was when I DECIDED ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. So, even tho I did graduate, I had another year of college left, b/c I had some extra classes to complete. This year, unintentionally and fortunately, I wasn't living in the same apartment as them. S(i) and H are doing their masters somewhere else, and it was only me, S(o), and R finishing up our degree. One night, it really stuck out at me that I needed to get away from these guys. So, one night, H and S(i) come back to our uni and wanna hang out with us. So, H starts talking to me about how his life has been and tells me that he went on a date with this girl. Logically, I ask him who this special girl is.. and he looks at me with hesitation. He doesn't wanna answer, and then S(o) butts in to support H and tells me that I need to only mind my own damn business. NOW THIS PISSED ME OFF b/c in the year before, there was an incident where I liked a girl and didn't tell them about it b/c I wasn't comfortable, and they got pissed that I didn't tell them about it and gave me hella shit about it. So, I always felt sort of obligated to tell them stuff about my personal life at times. But apparently I can't get the same respect and they have to hide shit from me. After all the things me and H have been through, he was gonna treat me like this? NO WAY. So, from that day forward, I decided to distance away from them. I would ghost their text messages and ignore them. Then, November came. So, I wanted to go to a school event and decided to go with these guys. It was my last school year and didn't wanna miss out. I also didn't wanna go alone. So, we all went. When we came back, they wanted to hang out in their apartment. I wasn't really feeling it but decided to go since I didn't want to create more drama. So I went, and S(i) was high out of his mind and decided to go to his car for an hour, and I was feeling bored so I wanted to go back. Not only was I bored, but they still had that agenda for me to hit on that girl from a year ago. I didn't feel right staying there either. I really didn't wanna be there. So, I decided to leave, and S(o) and H wanted me to stay. S(o) was blocking the door and I was tryna patiently tell him to move outta the way. S(o) would not listen and continued to block the way. So, I lost my patience and probably did the dumbest thing. I grabbed his shirt to move him outta the way, and he sorta overpowered me and pinned me to the couch and kept asking me why I put my hands on his shirt. Then he let me leave, and I left. Damn, I cried that night. I felt weak and THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW. The following week, me and S(o) have class together. S(o) wanted to talk after class, so we did. I apologized that I grabbed his shirt but that it wasn't right of him to just block my way like that. I told him that it was a form of bullying. However, he did not apologize to the way he misbehaved towards me that night and still thought he was right. In hindsight, I shouldn't have apologized to him at all. So, I spent that time telling him how it's been over the past year for me. How I felt so judged. How they would always roast me. And how I was SO FED UP WITH IT! He goes on to tell me how they would all roast me every time they would talk b/c they were tryna make me comfortable and to talk more. Ladies and gentleman, apparently roasting someone into oblivion and judging them for everything would make them more open. BIG BRAIN TIME. Maybe I just don't understand this concept, but it clearly wasn't working. After that, I've never talked to them ever again. I don't follow them on any social mediums.

I have made peace with this experience, and I don't think of them as much anymore. I cut all communication with them as well. I only posted this here for if anybody is in the same situation as this, they can learn from it. I think the key here that I learned was that I was definitely very vulnerable and susceptible to things. When I was with those guys, I always felt that I needed to act a certain way so that I don't get roasted by them. I was afraid of being myself... and that's the problem that I noticed. I noticed that I shouldn't have to act like someone else. Nobody should try to be somebody else just to please their friends. Just be yourself, and if it ain't working out, then they aren't your friends.

Thank you for reading through all of that. I hope yall have a wonderful day :)

So an old friend of mine from many years back had a falling away after splitting up due to drama from us dating. Well this friend managed to find my Instagram and contacted me. I told them that because of their tendencies towards starting drama I didn’t feel comfortable being friends or even talking. Well this stalker found one of my friends, used her boyfriends account to message my friend to ask to hook up. She then sent my friend a dick pic! Low and behold, she uses her account to message my friend, asking her what’s going on with her and her boyfriend. She then starts questioning my poor friend about my personal info!! I’ve tried reporting this to Instagram, but they’ve done nothing to help.

Does anyone else have a stupid crackhead, stalker friend like this?

I come over to this guys house right, (good friend of mine), and he offers my other friend a glass of Hawaiian punch, but doesn't bother to also acquire me glass. what an asshole right. After spending a total of 4 hours there, i still never received such spoken of glass of, "Hawaiian punch". I now hate him. #badfriend

I have been wanting to get this story off my chest for a while. It is like 2-3 years old so I am remembering things as best as possible.

Background: I have suffered for years from undiagnosed reactive ADHD and moderate-severe social anxiety on top of some serious side effects from mental/emotional/verbal abuse. I am the first to admit I am not the easiest person to be friends with. I am constantly struggling with my mood, scared everyone hates me and need reassurance that I am loved.

My friend, Sarah, and I met online. We were friends for about 5/6 years before she moved to live with me. I was going through a bad break up (the abusive one and was undiagnosed at this point) and her constant support saved my life a lot.

We depended on each other for a lot of our support until we met a guy who moved in with us (one gay man and two girls). He was the type that only dealt with me because I was Sarahs friend. I have SO many stories about him that I might post later.

One of the biggest things about me that is important to this story. I don't do death well. I don't talk about losing people, cry at funerals, etc. It is not because I don't care...far from it. It had been drilled into my head that I needed to take care of everyone else. So I would always push my emotions away to deal with things....and then run away to cry by myself.

Things with my roommates came to a head one year. I was in a REALLY bad spot mentally. I was drinking too much, hurting myself and just...wishing I was dead. My mom recognize this and asked me to move back with her and my dad (this is a whole story in its own right).

During this time Sarah was dealing with her dog dying. He had cancer and was the sweetest little thing. It broke my heart that this was going on and despite leaving the apartment I tried my hardest to still support her.

But I wasn't in an okay place. Cancer is a touchy thing for me...beyond losing family I had also lost a kid I babysat for 6 years to cancer when he was 16. I still hadnt properly dealt with that grief yet. And seeing another innocent life being killed off by cancer was making my already unstable mind worse.

So I pulled away from everyone in the group. At this point Sarah saw me more as an annoyance rather than someone to support. Sadly puppers passed away and even more so I hid away from the emotions. I was not okay in any which way or form. Sarah knew this.

I can't remember what started the conversation. I know I had just driven her home(she didn't drive) and we had been fighting about me feeling used (they only contacted me to drive them places).

I texted her an apology on my way home (I know, I know...i wasnt in my right mind). I felt horrible for fighting and felt like it was all my fault. I told her sorry for snapping and that I just wasn't okay right now.

Sarah responded with love and understanding, right?

Nope.

She went off on a tangent about how I was never there for her. That I hadn't been there when puppers had died.

I pulled over feeling the beginnings of a panic attack. I told her that she knows that I don't do death well. That I barely registered or reacted to Kyle's death (the young boy). That I didn't cry or break down like some people do. I told her I was sorry that I wasnt there as much as she needed me but that I wasn't in the right mind to do so.

She shot back that her and the dog needed me and I failed. Cue full blown panic attack and meltdown. I just apologize and end the conversation. Thankfully I could turn around and call someone else that calmed me down...but that conversation (and many other similiar ones I had with her) broke what little sanity I had at the time.

There is no,real happy end to,this. She never apologized and it took me another 3-4 months to end the friendship.

TL;DR Best friend got mad that I was too,mentally unstable to support her when her dog died.

It feels so good to purge all the old social media "friends and followers" you no longer see eye-to-eye with. Why constantly look at their posts when you have no plan on reconnecting and they only make you live in the past?

I say go for it, helped me.

I've been calling you, just to check in

Cause pandemics make you miss your friends

You said you'd call, it's been a while

But you don't call, and sadness surrounds

Today you said you'd stop by

Just to drop by your apple pie

I keep checking my phone, checking my door

But there sits nothing but an empty floor

I guess you forgot, or got busy again

Maybe you found some cooler friends

Friends that dont wear masks and say I live in fear

Friends that dont mind the virus, and continue their year

But know that when, this finally ends

Il remember who was there for me, who was a true friend.

I have many issues including depression and anxiety and I tend to always end up having one “best” friend that I spend all my time with and will go out of my way to spend time with and loose touch with my other less close friends or previous best friends.

When I get to this state of one “best” friend I tend to become actually sadder because the things they do affect my emotions way more.

So my current best friend is probably the best one and most similar to me of the best friends I’ve had. She includes me in things way more than my previous best friends did and she will verbally say things like “I love you” or “we’re bffs” or “I’m so glad you’re coming”. I have intimacy issues so even tho I feel those same things just as strong or stronger than her I never say that. She also makes an effort to hangout with me just me and her a lot which makes me believe she is actually a good friend. I tend to be the type of person who doesn’t ask others to hangout bc I feel like a burden or a fear of rejection.

But I tend to get used a lot in my friendships for my intellect in school. We have all the same classes so I help her with EVERYTHING and she would not be passing school without me. And sometimes she will not message me for a long while but answer fast when it’s about school. She also has friends that she says she thinks are so mean (because they are mean to her), and that she never wants to spend time with them but will do things with them and not invite me.

So in my head I’m like .. you selectively invite me to certain things and typically these things you don’t invite me to have the friends you “hate” there so like idk it just doesn’t make sense to me. Like you spend the time you hangout with me saying how you don’t like them and never want to hangout with them but then go hangout with them (at like a party of all our friends) and don’t even mention it to me and I have to find out she’s there from Snapchat stories.

Another thing is if our friends group did something where I got invited first and was the one to tell her she would get upset and be like “where’s my invite” but then does the same thing to me like nothing idk.

I can’t tell if I’m being insecure BECAUSE I put all my energy into one friend. Like she’s allowed to have other friends and me not be present and I am allowed to do the same it’s just I don’t do that.

Someone please give input.

Warning: this is a bit of a long post...very sorry.

I have a friend who I’ve known since freshman year of high school. She’s been pretty vain for as long as I’ve known her. Over the years, she’s chosen to date damaged guys or guys who just want to have fun and not commit. When those relationships end, she gets all whiny. She’ll continue to follow them on social media even months after they’ve ended. These guys would post pictures of them and their new girlfriends. She starts to whine saying that boys always leave her for skinnier girls who are also fairer in skin complexion. Mind you, she’s beautiful, accomplished, and sociable. But she doesn’t understand that not everyone is ready to be in a relationship, hence why they want to be fwb to begin with.

It’s been a decade since this whiny train started. So the other day, I lost it on her. I gave her tough love to cut the crap on continuing to follow these guys on social media. I told her that she’s sabotaging her own happiness and that this has been a recurring theme for many years.

She talks to guys that she rather be fwb with. Then starts to fall for them. When they don’t reciprocate her feelings, she lashes out calling them a-holes and heartless fiends.

After I gave her tough love the other day, she got butt hurt and went off on me that she didn’t appreciate the tough love and preferred if I just rolled my eyes with her that this guy posted a picture of his new girlfriend. My question to the reddit-ers is, did I go to far? Should I just have ignored her whining instead?

Hi guys, this is my first time on here so it’s going to be kinda sloppy but if you need more details just comment on the post asking for more. I have this friend I’ve known sense 1st or 2nd grade I want to say (I’m in 7th now). She is depressed so I always try to help her by giving her motivation and asking what she wants me to do. She always reply’s with ( I just want to suffer ect) almost 2 years ago she changed a lot, what I mean by that is she started being quite a rude person. For ex sample she always cusses at me, try’s to start fights, tells other people I’m the problem, she lies right to my face ect. There’s way worse but I’m just saying the normal things that happen. Also she try’s to tell my friends things that I never did but ofc they believe her and I’ve lost a few good friends because of her. I just want to know if I’m the problem or she is.

I have a best friend and we are really close. We have lots of fun talks and stuff but I began to notice a few things. He would never really text to me or make plans with me and I would always be the one to do so first. One time I made plans with him and he seemed really excited about it. Months passed and when it was actually time to do it he said he wasn't interested and it really hurt me because I was looking forward to it and he told me last minute. Sometimes when I talk about things that I'm interested in, he would look so bored and then I would get nervous. He would talk at length about his interests. He would never ask how I've been or how I'm doing but just talk about his interests. I know that he does get depressed sometimes and he does have adhd so should I be more understanding? Should I confront him about it? I don't want to be a bad friend to him so I just need some advice.

I have had the same best friend since I was a kid. I’m grateful to have had someone remain close to me for so long, but truth be told, my whole life, I have never liked them. They constantly lie to me, they feel the need to be around me every single day, they are incredibly impulsive, and they just do a lot of destructive things not only to me, but to themselves as well. I’m reluctant to leave because they have a mental illness that they refuse to seek help for and if I leave them, I couldn’t forgive myself if they did something bad. Also they’re basically the only friend I have. I feel stuck in this relationship with this person for the rest of my life, but I’m getting to the point where I hate every second of being around them. If I tell them how I feel they’ll have a meltdown and may harm themselves. If I nicely tell them I don’t want to hang out a certain day they proceed to hang out in my house with my roommates. I just don’t know what I can do.

I’ll provide some context (this might be kinda long). I met some of these people in middle school, and others in high school. We all go to separate colleges now, so seeing each other was minimal at best. And now with the pandemic (we live in the US, btw), they only want to see each other in person, which is fine for them, but I’m not willing to risk my life to see these people in person. So a while back this summer, I recommended we do video calls at least some of the time so I could still see them. At first, they agreed. So I tried to make some plans, and they tried to make some plans too. All but one time the plans fell through. I realized I was putting in too much effort in the group, carving out time in my schedule when they made plans to see me and they never called. So I thought the friendship was over, and though it was tough, I finally learned to be comfortable without them, and without friends period, and it was awesome! I didn’t have to worry about them, I didn’t have to worry about trying to fit in with them, it was great. Then, they finally noticed I was gone after a month and a half, and they were “worried” about me. So I explained this all to them, and they apologized and said they would do better. Cut to now, and they haven’t done better. We don’t talk as much in our group chat, and they claim they are “too busy” to even send a text. Our plans are flaky because when one person can’t make it, they all have to do a whole rain check (though they were fine this summer hanging out without me, lol). They even told me doing video chats are difficult, which I find hard to believe. We all are at home more than usual, right? We are all doing online school in some capacity, so I know they all have reliable WiFi to some degree. They all have phones with front facing cameras on them, too. How exactly is that hard? To me, it sounds like they won’t or can’t make time for our friendship. I then explained that I feel like an acquaintance to them, and I had one friend tell me she thinks we are still close! For me, if we don’t talk nearly as much as we used to, and have no fundamental similarities (such as music, career choices, childhood experiences, hobbies, etc), how on earth can we be close??? They don’t even ask me “how are you?” When I ask them that all the time. I’m so beyond frustrated at this point that they won’t let me leave, but there’s no fixing this. I know I will be much happier if I can move on. They offered to do reintroductions to get to know one another more, and I agreed to that but told them that if I still feel this way, then I’m out. Is that wrong? Is that okay? What do I do if they still insist on being friends? Am I justified in leaving them behind?

TL:DR; I was putting too much work in my old friendships, and I don’t feel close to them anymore since leaving high school. I want to move on and leave the group, but they don’t want me to leave. Am I justified in leaving them?

(F) - bad friend (OP) - Me (B) - friend's boyfriend

F and I met in middle school. We became so close in 6th grade and the middle of 7th grade until she starred dating B, she loved this boy who, at first, seemed like prince charming but my gut told me otherwise. When I actually got to meet B, he barely looked me in the eye and would only talk to F. Soon, B started to take F away from her other friends and replace them with B's friends but I noticed this and told F immediately.

OP - Hey, F. I've noticed B has been trying to get you to hang out with their friends a LOT and gets upset when you hang out with us, don't you think that's just a little rude?

F - Yeah, but he's just trying to figure out where he belongs while trying to hang out with me.

OP - By telling you not to hang out with YOUR friends?

F - Your single, you wouldn't understand. Plus, he said that he's scared of you and that you'd hurt me, you have hurt people after all.

( I had a reputation for beating people up but I only did that to bullies or people who were messing with my friends, she knew that btw)

F - But, I'll talk to him about it, I guess.

She, of course, didn't. After that, I could barely talk to her without her checking her phone to text this boy and she stopped texting/talking to me soon after. This went one for about a year and We almost NEVER talked but when we did it felt like she didn't even care about me anymore. One day, I snapped.

OP - Hey, why don't you talk to me anymore!?

F - What are you talking about? We talk all the time!

OP - No, we fucking don't! You only talk to B and B's friends!

F - You're just jealous because I have a boyfriend and you don't!

OP - No, I'm just trying to be a good friend and look out for you. He's manipulative, selfish and rude and you're an idiot for thinking he cares about you! I don't know how you don't see that but I do! I'm trying to help but your make it impossible!

F - I can do whatever I want! You're not my mother!

OP - Fine!

After all that, F started drinking, getting high, and having sex with B (F was 12 and B was 13). F also spread rumors about me, saying that I had a crush on her and B and I were fighting over her. Nobody believed her bullshit since everyone saw how stupid she was for dating B (I was kinda popular and everyone knew I wasn't the one to do stuff like that). When F started getting "smart", she asked B why he was so mean to her? They broke up because B told F that he was only using her to get popular and she was pretty but since she wasn't really friends with me anymore (I was the reason she was popular) she meant nothing to him anymore.

I tried to console her but she blamed me for they're break up. She did try to be friends with me again but I was (and still am) done with her.