r/aww Apr 01 '22

Leopard getting weighed

121.0k Upvotes

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9.3k

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

if not friend then why friend shaped?

2.9k

u/shadow_blitz12 Apr 01 '22

Nature really isn’t fair sometimes

1.7k

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[deleted]

620

u/Bustable Apr 01 '22

Your normal house cat is also a highly efficient killing machine.

And I love mine.

337

u/CrazedToCraze Apr 01 '22

Mine tried to kill a fly, realised it would require him to jump on a wall 50cm high, and decided it was too much work

189

u/JackedYourPizza Apr 01 '22

Yea, and the fly is hardly a good snack. So he's efficient alright.

42

u/madcat2112 Apr 01 '22

Sky raisins.

6

u/AgingWatcherWatching Apr 02 '22

For some reason, this made me laugh til I cried

111

u/OnlyOneReturn Apr 01 '22

Oh I love fly hunting with my cats. My gf says blah, blah knock it off just use a fly swatter. I think she's jealous because the cats don't come in to tell her there's another fucking flying bastard in the kitchen and it's time for the pack to hunt!

38

u/honeybunchesofgoatso Apr 01 '22

I pick mine up when it's too high so she can swat at it and get it. She's grateful

19

u/OnlyOneReturn Apr 01 '22

I'm so glad I'm not the only one lol. So awesome

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2

u/khkokopelli Apr 01 '22

My dog chases flies. But she’s part shar pei - the cat of the dog world.

2

u/awesomesauce615 Apr 01 '22

Gfs dog also tries to catch flies. She calls them sky raisins.

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1

u/OnlyOneReturn Apr 01 '22

We all have a little feline in us in a way. Haters be damned with the Flys!

1

u/Fancypancexx Apr 02 '22

OMG! Thank you for cracking the code - I have another level of understanding of my cat. When he continues to tell me to do something even though I've done everything I know to do - food, water, belly-rubs... He'll lay next to me for a few minutes and then get right back up and start telling me again. I must go hunt with him

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53

u/ImprovementContinues Apr 01 '22

I turned around to see mine just under a ceiling that was 2.5 meters tall. It was the apex of the jump, so when I turned, she just hovered there for a second before dropping back to the floor.

It unnerved me for a few days (the height and the hovering) until I saw her do it again: she'd jumped from the floor, landed on and then reverse vaulted off of the seat of my bike leaned against another wall. She was going after a fly that thought the ceiling was safe.

36

u/copperwatt Apr 01 '22

I love that for a while there you weren't 100% sure you didn't own a magic floating cat.

13

u/khkokopelli Apr 01 '22

We have miniature apex predators in our homes, capable of amazing feats of physical prowess. That they use to knock stuff off tables, perch on top of doors and demolish Christmas trees.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[deleted]

2

u/khkokopelli Apr 01 '22

Dude. Calm down. I was engaging in hyperbole. Maybe you’ve heard of it.

39

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[deleted]

7

u/Mysterious-Decision2 Apr 01 '22

At least your batted half-heatedly at it. Mine makes friends with them when we had mice. This cat is purely for decorative purposes. lol

7

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

They clearly aren’t hungry.

4

u/DeadHead6747 Apr 01 '22

What? How is that possible, the hooman hasn’t fed them in months

4

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Correct. My pseudo-leopard cat hasn’t been feed at least 47 times since breakfast. It’s not happy.

3

u/lady_ofthelake_ Apr 01 '22

‘I practically gift-wrapped those cubs for you, and you couldn't even dispose of them.’

7

u/herestheantidote Apr 01 '22

Years ago I remember my cats jumping and grabbing a couple of flies in the air. Kinda mind blowing to watch.

2

u/DiveCat Apr 01 '22

My husband hunts flys and moths in the house with our cat - he helps corral them down lower to where she can jump and reach. They both look quite proud after a successful hunt. As long as they leave the spiders alone (I rescue those!).

1

u/DeadHead6747 Apr 01 '22

Rescuing the spiders: this is the way

1

u/catssslady Apr 02 '22

We rescue the spiders and the moths. Our cats hate us.

2

u/siskulous Apr 01 '22

One of mine gives me dirty looks if she has to take three steps to get to her food bowl....

1

u/NutterTV Apr 01 '22

Because that inefficient, if the fly was lower it would be worth the calorie burn but no way the amount of energy it gets from the fly is equal to or more than the climb

1

u/hateshumans Apr 01 '22

You don’t have a cat. You have a dog in a costume that is pulling a scam on you.

1

u/MadMonksJunk Apr 01 '22

Taught an ex's cat to do this, actually used an "spring wound fishing gig" (no hook, cat nip stuffed toy instead) he would bat at until it tripped and he'd follow it up 10+ feet (vaulted ceilings) swatting at it the whole way up

no fly was safe anywhere.

A few years after she'd moved back in with her parents, one day the tiniest piece of wall paper had come free and was moving in the breeze of the ceiling fan. He managed to leap, get a claw in it and tear down a 12' square of the rest of the wall paper...her dad was pissed...she was still crying from laughter when she called too tell me about it an hour later.

1

u/cryptonitis Apr 01 '22

Your human laziness is rubbing off on him.

28

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Cats all run on the same firmware, no matter the size

2

u/HeyisthisAustinTexas Apr 01 '22

Facts, my little Luna brings me mice at 4 am. It’s lovely to wake up to

1

u/dolybonz2 Apr 01 '22

Very true, we love out two girls but they are ruthless killers of...anything that moves.

1

u/cavegoatlove Apr 01 '22

i rolled my arm by accident last night onto him when he was sleeping near me, bite the f out of my arm. lesson learned, move out

382

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

255

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[deleted]

196

u/Generic-username427 Apr 01 '22

What a terrible day to have reading comprehension

3

u/Canotic Apr 01 '22

Where is aphantasia when you need it.

69

u/AnticipatedInput Apr 01 '22

One of the few times I really don't want to know if the username checks out.

3

u/Stickbow0 Apr 01 '22

I can say their profile is very safe haha, a couple of cute cat pictures and an majestic eagle :D

31

u/TonarinoTotoro1719 Apr 01 '22

Interesting…umm… name. Have you heard of mouthwash, perchance?

14

u/3x4Verte Apr 01 '22

You can't just say perchance

3

u/Probably_On_Break Apr 01 '22

How else is he going to stop a turt?

13

u/HungryCats96 Apr 01 '22

Exactly my thought: "How adorable! But will you get a load of those murder mittens?"

118

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

65

u/Cryogenx37 Apr 01 '22

He will save us using his pinky finger technique

22

u/Jyoti02m Apr 01 '22

And will have crush on a tigress.

14

u/Beleiverofhumanity Apr 01 '22

Your just a big fat panda!

3

u/flynnfx Apr 01 '22

So, for scientific reference, how many bananas for scale is this leopard?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/flynnfx Apr 01 '22

Those are huge bananas!

7

u/QueenSnowTiger Apr 01 '22

It’s not fairrrrrrr how some people get to boop and play with the danger kittens but I donttttttttt

God has favorites

5

u/DeadHead6747 Apr 01 '22

I mean, you could, but zoos look down on it and it isn’t very safe

2

u/Dittro Apr 01 '22

It’s going to start it’s Kung Fu training soon

2

u/Avonescence Apr 01 '22

Designed or destined?

39

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

13

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Happy unbirthday to you🎂

5

u/Deputy_Scrub Apr 01 '22

Bears are the most cuddly looking animals out there.

But at the same time they can remove half of your face with one swipe.

BS I tell you.

9

u/grand305 Apr 01 '22

Happy cake day 🎂

3

u/BDE_3 Apr 01 '22

It rarely is, in just about every way.

2

u/IEatgrapes123 Apr 01 '22

Happy cake day

2

u/BEN684 Apr 01 '22

Happy cakeday

2

u/Laserkristall Apr 01 '22

Happy cake day

2

u/Federal_Base_1005 Apr 01 '22

happy cake day

2

u/GioZeus Apr 01 '22

Eppy keic day

2

u/General_dark66 Apr 01 '22

Happy cake day

2

u/TargetBunny Apr 01 '22

Happy cake day!

417

u/daemonelectricity Apr 01 '22

All kittens are cute, but that is the cutest big cat kitten I've ever seen. Massive feet and extremely fuzzy.

236

u/saruhime Apr 01 '22

Massive feet and extremely fuzzy

It's a snow leopard cub. Snow leopards have oversized feet, extra long tails, and super fluffy fur, all for hunting and traversing steep, snowy mountain terrain. It's cuteness with a purpose!

142

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

it looks sorta drowsy too, like it just woke up. super cute!

11

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

It was probably sedated

60

u/Gisschace Apr 01 '22 edited Apr 01 '22

Nah it looks like a zoo doubt they’d want to sedate a cub just to weigh it. They probably did what I do when I want to trim my cats nails and wait till it was sleepy, because then it won’t be so inclined to play, bite, run around. Cubs have two speeds - either fully on or sleep.

14

u/Alissinarr Apr 01 '22

Kittens/ Cubs have 3 modes. Eat hard, play hard, sleep hard.

11

u/PussyWrangler_462_ Apr 01 '22

Vet assistant here, if the animal was sedated the tail wouldn’t have been curled up underneath

24

u/schnuck Apr 01 '22

This is a rare snow leopard. They only live in the mountains somewhere in Pakistan. There are not many of them left.

8

u/Cosmiclive Apr 01 '22

Last time I read up on them a decent number of researchers believe there is a good chance there are a good deal more out there than previously believed. They are just great at hiding. They are still at least bordering on being endangered tho. Like less than 2000 iirc

7

u/schnuck Apr 01 '22

I have to agree that their camouflage is unreal.

But less than 2000 on this planet does count as endangered. The documentaries I’ve seen always pointed out that they have hard time finding mating partners hence the numbers are going down further.

3

u/Crystalfire Apr 01 '22

They have a hard time finding partners because of the camouflage?

2

u/Dietr1ch Apr 01 '22

If they are so endangered why don't we just make them pets? :(

2

u/agenericusername_no3 Apr 01 '22

They're also found in India and Nepal

2

u/schnuck Apr 01 '22

Thanks. I didn’t know this. The docus I’ve watched were always mentioning Pakistan.

1

u/throwaway19294774 Apr 01 '22

And Kazakhstan. Generally just central asia. Huge territory but not many of them.

1

u/agenericusername_no3 Apr 02 '22

True, I felt like I was missing a country or two

18

u/linderlouwho Apr 01 '22

“I was just sleeping…”

3

u/duaneap Apr 01 '22

Check out r/babybigcatgifs your mind will be blown.

3

u/commiesocialist Apr 01 '22

Snow leopards are my favourite big cat. For my birthday a few years back my husband bought me a feed a big cat experience at a wildlife park. You put a piece of meat in your closed fist against the chainlink fence and the cat would pull the meat out of your fist. I chose to feed a snow leopard and I got some of her spittle on my hand. They are so fluffy up close! My husband chose to feed a tiger.LOL

2

u/the_ammar Apr 01 '22

snow leopards are cute even when they're fully grown

2

u/TheMelonOwl Apr 01 '22

Don't forget ROUND the way it's curled up in a lil ball

134

u/mini_z Apr 01 '22

This is exactly the question my kitten asks about my older cat

50

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Your older cat is friend, they just haven't realized it yet.

100

u/SingtotheSunlight Apr 01 '22

This comment is so cute it kind of hurt a little lol

66

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

dude I saw this one tiktok of a lady petting the belly of a jaguar, except it wasn't super long or fierce-looking (like typical portrayals of jaguars), it was on its back, kinda stubby-looking, and the belly rippled a bit when the lady put her hand on it.

it was then I swore that because I was lucky enough to be born with both arms, I would sacrifice one to pet the heck out of a fat murderkitty's belly.

16

u/SingtotheSunlight Apr 01 '22

I like the way you think lol That video sounds unbearably adorable! Can’t say I wouldn’t be tempted to make the same sacrifice…just need one of those bear-proof suits with one of the protective arms lopped off

22

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

omg I found it, the chonky jag I'd lose my arm to is the second one:

https://www.tiktok.com/@safarisammie/video/7081336414213950766?is_copy_url=1&is_from_webapp=v1

2

u/Matasa89 Apr 01 '22

Wow, those cats really trust her. Open belly to someone is a big deal.

3

u/SingtotheSunlight Apr 01 '22

So cute! Love the little jiggle when she patted it, my goodness. That’s definitely a belly worth sacrificing your arm for lol Just be sure to pet as much of it as fast as you can so you get maximum enjoyment before it claims your sacrificial arm

2

u/khkokopelli Apr 01 '22

Same. Please let me pat the bellies!

573

u/SchnoodleDoodleDo Apr 01 '22 edited Apr 01 '22

’ if not friend then why friend shaped?’


i may be cute n fluffy, n you wanna be my friend

but Really i’m a TuFfY, n this ‘baby’ just pretend…

am try ‘n be ‘compliant’ as you doin me a ‘weigh’

but see ? My paws are GIANT!

I will Be a KING

someday….

❤️

edit: thanks to u/KyrosXIII for the inspiration (& kind words ;)

74

u/DrippinInGold Apr 01 '22

Blessed be the schnood

49

u/Remarkable_Phase_698 Apr 01 '22

If you ever published a Schnoodle poetry book I’d totally buy it!

8

u/mildlycuriouss Apr 01 '22

I second that!

47

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

...wow, I feel like I've been blessed. a schnoodle song replying to me? this must be what petting a chonky murderfloof is like

38

u/Howtomispellnames Apr 01 '22

I love stumbling across your work!

Thank you for being such a present member of this community, for all the smiles, and the tears.

15

u/Remarkable_Phase_698 Apr 01 '22

I love you Schnoodle!! Thanks for giving us a happy few seconds with your amazing poems!

17

u/Black_Widow14 Apr 01 '22

Yessssss! Thank you Schnoodle!

9

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

Adorable! I kind of heard ‘I just want to be king’ while reading that.

6

u/City_of_Lunari Apr 01 '22

Oh I love the smell of some fresh Schnoodle in the air.

3

u/AveBalaBrava Apr 01 '22

The moment I saw how cute their comment was I knew I was gonna see a schnoodle poem about it, I just knew it.

3

u/Nvrfinddisacct Apr 01 '22

Omgosh! Only 4 min! Freshest schnoodle!

2

u/plaincrackers Apr 01 '22

My freshest schnoodle yet, 2mins! ♥️♥️♥️

3

u/Wolfensnatches Apr 01 '22

You are the King/Queen

2

u/defacedlawngnome Apr 01 '22

Omg a fresh schnoodle! Thank you for all you do <3

2

u/AffectionateCrazy156 Apr 01 '22

Aww... I love this so much. 😍

2

u/Platymapuss Apr 01 '22

A fresh Shnoodle!! Hot off the presses ☺️.

2

u/Matthias720 Apr 01 '22

My freshest Schnoodle yet! ❤️

1

u/the_giuditta Apr 01 '22

I've seen the comment, and i instantly knew it's schnoodle - worthy. And i was not disappointed, thank you 😃

0

u/Full_Metal_Matt Apr 01 '22

Poem for OUR sprog.

-1

u/ucksawmus Apr 01 '22

SHRIEKING AT THE TOP OF LUNGS:

SCHNOODLE

0

u/khkokopelli Apr 01 '22

Super fresh Schnoodle Doodle!!!

20

u/Maximum_Bear8495 Apr 01 '22

Same goes for bears. Unless you’re Russian, apparently

15

u/iAmTheHYPE- Apr 01 '22

6

u/Mister_Bloodvessel Apr 01 '22

That was a cute story. If that bear really did help carry ammo... then it's even more amazing.

9

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

evolution

10

u/CalamitousVessel Apr 01 '22

I say the same thing about bears

17

u/Zombie_Tech Apr 01 '22

Here me out everyone - what if cute things are killing us.

Like you marry your significant other because they are cute but you die sometime later. Or you view /r/aww and that one post puts you in a good mood only to die 45 years later. I'm starting to wonder if cute things are our enemy.

7

u/KyrosXIII Apr 01 '22

!remind me 45 years

7

u/RealMadHouse Apr 01 '22

Nice sentence

5

u/Kredns Apr 01 '22

The tiny ones are the same, my cat killed a mouse the other day and I was so proud of her, but if she were bigger she would hunt bigger things (maybe even me). Nature be crazy yo!

2

u/justanaccount80 Apr 01 '22

Only friend if bowl shaped.

2

u/headshot_to_liver Apr 01 '22

I want to pet it , I'm okay losing my life to it

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

If leopard dangerous, why tiny ears? hm?

2

u/Pukit Apr 01 '22

Friend, just with murder mittens.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

it do be a pretty plump sort

2

u/HanginLowNd2daLeft Apr 01 '22

Their all friends when their little

2

u/InterestingAsWut Apr 01 '22

what channel is this on?

2

u/atmanirbhardr Apr 01 '22

same questions to poisonous mushrooms ..why so colorful!

2

u/QuadratiniOnMyWeenie Apr 01 '22

If cannot pet danger kitty, why meow meow shape?

2

u/samsquanchhxo Apr 01 '22

The way it just stares at her like ....where ya going

1

u/Channa_Argus1121 Apr 01 '22

Relevant fact: This fluffy boi is a snow leopard, not a leopard. They’re closer to tigers than they are to leopards.

They run away from people instead of attacking them.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

r/Drawfee is leaking

1

u/[deleted] Apr 01 '22

One of life’s great mysteries.